The Iron Rose
by mitimai
Summary: AU. To save her sister, a young woman had to accept the deal with demon which bring her to the world of dragon age. She was replaced in Cousland Lady's shoes and become the Grey Warden. However, thing not gonna be easy. Rate M. just to be save.
1. Pray

From the auther: I'm back. Althought I can't say my first fanfic is good, I'm sure this will better because I have a great Beta by 'Carve ur heart Out'. She help me a lot with gramma and more, I owe her a great debt.

As alway, I have to disclaim. "I own nothing in Dragon age, every charectors belong to Bioware. However, the heroin in this story is mind."

Pray

The smell of chemicals floating in the air, the pointer of the clock on the wall spun in their rhythm, while people she never knew walked passed her. Everything still worked as it always did, but she didn't care.

In front of ER room, a woman in white shirt and long black pants was sitting on the chair. Frightened for her last family member, she didn't worry about the blood that covered the white fabric and beneath her short raven hair.

Nearby, her soon-to-be-brother-in-law was leaning to the wall. He was praying to holy power in every world. When the lost appear before your eyes, most of people pray to what they believe.

Looking at him pass her eyeglasses, she sensed his love to her little sister. They would marry in a week, but the ceremony was delayed because the death of father of the bride.

Anyway, if that wasn't bad enough, someone from above must have wanted to torture them more. The car that the sisters drove to the funeral crashed by the trailer car, she got only some scratches and bruises but her sister was crushed by the console.

She lost so much blood, the big sister wanted to give her but they had different types of blood. Luckily, friends of her father could help about that. What they could do now was waiting and praying.

A mobile phone rang. The guy gazed his soon-to-be-sister-in-law before he answered and left his position for awhile.

Nobody saw the blood that seeped from hidden wound beneath the raven hair. She was too excite to feel the pain and didn't let the doctor check her condition. In fact, she didn't think about anything but her sister until someone called her name.

"Issara…"

That might be the doctor or nurse. She turned to the voice but only saw a woman in strange clothes.

Beneath the high-cut dress and corset was the stunning feminine body. Every time she moved, the rim of crimson fabric would wave and show her tan skin. The long silver hair almost covered half of her pretty face.

"It has been a long time, but we meet at last."

"Sorry ma'am…" Issara asked politely. "Do I know you? And…well, could you speak Thai?"

"I'm not talking to you, dear. I'm communicating with your mind, we aren't really speaking."

A woman in black and white gasped. _"Maybe this one just escaped from another ward."_ She thought.

The stranger waved her hand. "No. I'm not insane. I'm one of your father's friends and come for my reward.

"My father…" Issara gazed at the stranger's clothes. It looked like some kind of cosplay. How could a serious soldier like her father befriend with someone like this? "Well, I'm afraid you misunderstand. My father was…"

"A cheater, he tricked me so many times but I'm the winner in the end." Those slander fingers touched Issara's chin and forced her to look at violet eyes. "And you…are my prize."

"Um…ma'am…I'm sorry. What the hell are you talking about?" The younger one brushed that hand away. Thai people hate when someone touches their head without permission.

Somehow, another woman seemed shock in that reaction. "You can…break my spell."

"What?" Another maddening problem…? Oh, great. "Please, I already have enough troubles for my entire life. Can you go somewhere else and annoy someone else? That will be great, thank you."

The tan woman growled. This one wouldn't believe her, she had to do something.

She flicked her fingers and something flashed to Issara's brown eyes. The short haired woman had to close her eyes for a moment until she fell to the ground because the chair she had sat on was gone.

"Ouch…!" She cried and swore in her mother's language, certainly not polite.

"And you kissed your mother with that mouth?" Similar voice whispered near her ear.

"Garr…Shut up. What the f…are you? And what did you just done?" She was still unable to open her eyes, but her head still high. Issara shouted fiercely.

"Well, you're certainly like your father. The honorable soldier who had held his dignity until last breaths but gave up everything to save the ones he loved."

"Oh…please, Can you get straight to the subject? I don't have year for your speech." Her patience had its limits, especially when her little sister was in grave danger.

"Alright, let's say. I'm a demon who caged in your father's locket. Almost twenty-five years ago, he bagged me to help your mother in exchange for… your body." The woman explained. Her voice was firming, had no sight of joke.

However, who would believe that?

"Ha…Very funny, this is some kind of dire joke, isn't it?"

"Joke..? No, this not a joke. If you don't believe me, just open your eyes."

She obeyed and found herself in white space. Nothing around but some kind of light, that prevented her from falling.

"Where am I?" Issara asked, seemed shock but in good self control.

"In my space, indeed..." The mystical woman replied.

The raven hair girl turned to face her but stopped. The woman was floating in the air, her silver hair and red dress floated like it was in the water.

"Well, you see, I'm not a human. You might think about me as jinni or something like that but I prefer to call myself demon. It sounds more dangerous and tempting." She said with excited tone, looking much like a child who just get new toy.

"_What the hell?"_ Issara mentally swore. _"Did my head crushed harder than I thought?_"

Or her gift comeback again…

Well, her mother called it a gift but she never welcomed it. The special sense just made her looks crazy since she was young, no one played with her but her family. Luckily, her grandpa knew how to control it and has taught her everything he knows.

"Whatever…" She sighed deeply, tried to gain her consciousness. "What do you want from me?"

"I already told you." The silver hair shouted. "Your father made a deal with me. I helped your mother from the death in exchange of your body and now I come for my prize."

"But that sounds…silly. Why do you have to wait so long?"

"Oh…that. It's because your father caged me in his locket. If it weren't for someone opening it in the funeral, I might have burned with him in the pyre." Demon said furiously.

Somehow, Issara couldn't stop her chuckle. "That is too bad. But what will happen now. Are you just take my body and leave my consciousness to be wandering ghost?"

Mystic one glazed at her to-be-victim. She knew this one wasn't easy prey; there was something inside that made Issara special. And that is the reason why she needed this body for her aspiring plan.

"Maybe or maybe not, I see you have some problem and I'm not cruel enough to steal the big sister from the fragile sister."

Someone once said: 'You shouldn't trust a stranger.' The raven one agreed with it completely. "I know your kind, Demon. You couldn't just take the body to possess, although my body is the bet in the deal. My grandpa taught me enough to drive you off."

"I know it. Your grandpa was the shaman." She growled. "But I won't give up that easily and you need my assistance anyway."

"What do you mean?"

The demon hide her smirk, human always falls for their wish. "Your sis is in grave danger. I can help it, but we have to make the deal."

Now was Issara's turn to growl. "How could I trust you?"

"Well, What about this?" Demon in red flicked her fingers again.

Another second and the raven back to her original place. She saw the doctor tell her soon-to-be-brother-in-law about her sister's condition. His bride has been saved, but was still unconscious. No one could tell how long before she recover from comatose.

"I save her…for now." The similar voice came from somewhere. "But I won't release her from comatose until you best me in my game."

This might be a trick, but she doesn't have many choices.

"Fine, tell me about your damn game."


	2. Through the glass

Through the glass

* * *

"Maker preserves her, she awake!"

"Go get Teyrna, she wanted to know when Lady Lillian woke up."

"Are you all right, milady?"

"Don't just standing like an idiot, give me that potion!"

Many sentences were humming around her like the buzzing bees. She heard all of it, but didn't really understand. People around her were blurring like the ghosts, those voices sounded dizzies and seemed unreal.

"Where am I?" She murmured. "What happen with me?"

An old woman in front of her stepped away, and another younger one ran to her.

"Lillian, my daring girl…! Thank the maker, you're awake."

The vision still unclear, she automatic adjusted her eyeglasses but it doesn't there any longer. After a few time of blink, she found that she didn't need them to improve her eyesight. She could see everything in this room clearly, include a grey hair woman who sat on her bed, was looking at her with concerning expression.

"Sorry ma'am. But…Where am I, and…Who are you?"

Several women in the room cried out in harmony. The youngest one shuddered, her eyes widened in shock.

"Oh, my dear…What happen to you? Why you can't remember your mother?" A grey haired woman cried.

She didn't know these people, but this one reminded her of her long gone mother. So, she held those hands, tried to comfort the old one. "Please, don't cry. I'm sorry."

Maybe she didn't expect this. Grey lady looked her like she saw the ghost. "Oh no…! Something absolutely wrong was happen to you. I haven't heard you say that word for very long time."

That really awkward, she didn't know how to react.

"I will consider this with your father." Grey lady said. "You have to stay here. Nan and other servants will be your company. It won't be long, I hope."

"Er…good luck, ma'am." That's all she could say.

The older glazed at her for awhile but she didn't notice. Because her eyes met with the long mirror that near the bed. Inside the sheet was the reflection of a girl in long white nightgown, but it wasn't her.

She walked to the mirror. The girl inside looked back with her emerald eyes. That red hair was shining in sunlight like the fire. She was so beautiful, but this one wasn't her.

"…My name is Issara." She whispered to the one in the mirror. "Who are you?"

* * *

She needed _Paracetamol_, a lot of it.

Issara tried to relax, she have to regain her consciousness. Panic and anxiety couldn't help anything. But those women always keep an eye on her like they thought she would fly out by the window at any minute, she felt awkward and had a strong headache.

Rolling in the bed, her stomach screamed aloud.

"Er…Excuse me." She called to the oldest, this one must be Nan. "I'm hungry. Could you tell me where the kitchen is?"

They gasped; it seemed she spoke something wrong again.

"You never go to the kitchen, milady." Nan said exiting. "Even your hound was raiding the larder."

That made sense; a lady doesn't have to make her meal. The servants live for serving her.

"OK, I get it. Could I have something to eat, please?"

Again, those women cried, some prayed to their god. Which made Issara wanted to knock her…Lady Lillian's head to the stone wall.

"_What the kind of person you are, Lillian?" _She asked. _"Why everyone surprise when I say something politely? Are you that harsh?"_

She received no answer from the Heavens.

Anyway, with the pain her head and stomach, the lost one couldn't stay polite. She shouted angrily. "Garr…I'm hungry. Serve me something now!"

That's all. The horde of servants ran from the room like they chased by devil. This might be the right method to order them.

Issara slapped her forehead. 'Great. I get stuck in the body of someone I don't know. And I have the damn game to clear. But I don't even know what kind of game it is. I should have known I can't trust the demon.'

So tired, she throw herself back to the bed. While she shut her eyes, something flashed to her mind.

"That is…" She said to the reflection. "That was your memories…weren't it?"

She still had no answer.

"Well, at least I know we don't steady. My consciousness and your body don't get along. I couldn't use my sixth-sense like usually do."

"I don't know what happen to you or where are you right now but I have to borrow this body for some time. Please help me end this game and I will take care of your body as best as I can." She prayed.

Another memory flashed to her mind. Issara could catch something from that.

It's a man, blond hair and so tall. She didn't know him but he might be Lillian's important person.

"What do you want to tell me, Lillian?" This is reminding her of the first time she contacted the ghost. She couldn't hear their voice, so they have to use another way of communication.

The wind blow from the windows, the curtain slapped a book on the table that suddenly fell to the floor. Inside that book were a gold key and a small piece of paper.

Those letters on that were the foreign language, but she could read it with knowledge from Lillian's brain.

It read: The Keeper of my heart.


	3. Family is relationship

Family is relationship

* * *

Issara never knew what the Cousland's decided for Lillian's fate. They just allowed her to do whatever she wanted. Everyone in Highever tried to keep their mouth shut when she act or say something politely.

It really awkward, but after a month everything went smoothly. No one was frightened with her manner anymore. Instead, they found something scarier: her innovations.

Her grandpa use to be the cunning blacksmith before turned to shaman. He gave his granddaughter all his knowledge of weapons, which inspired her to work as a blacksmith when she old enough. Anyway, her entire works were toys or pieces of art. She always made sure her creations couldn't be used as killing machines.

But this time was different, Lillian's body was so weary, she couldn't lift any sword in the entire stock of weapon in Highever with one hand. So she decided to make her own collection.

The old blacksmith wasn't the best choice but he capable enough to help her create important part (with her special technique, of course). With some tests and modifications, Issara made a compound crossbow and two Katana blades, which customized for her use only.

Anyway, in one of those work days. Fergus: The Teyrn's oldest son and Lillian's brother came to her with concern expression.

"Sorry for the interruption, my little sister. But your hound made trouble again."

Issara never had a brother, but she still wonder why he talked with her so politely. Did he think that Lillian was so dangerous?

"I don't mind, Fergus." She replied, not cold but not lovely either. "But do I have a hound? Nan mentioned him once but I…can't remember him."

"At least you know his gender. Your Mabari hound is a trouble maker. I have no idea why you name him Rabbit."

A hound name Rabbit. Well, Lillian has strange sense of humor.

"I think I should go to get him. Where is him now?"

"In the larder, I bet he just wanted to annoy Nan as always." The noble man chuckled.

The lost one gazed at him and smiled. "I saw your blade stain, so I sharpen it. You can say it is as good as new." She gave the sword back to the owner. "In fact, I order the blacksmith to add some runes into it. This sword will serve you well, brother."

His eyes wide, Fergus seemed shock with that gift. "Oh…I really appreciate this, but you don't have to…"

"You're welcome, Fergus. I can't just stay here and…Well, I'm glad I can help."

In Thai people's manners, it was cruel if someone lived in another's house without helping them do some work, and Issara always follow her mother's doctrine.

Although The Cousland doesn't know about it, he still felt her change. No matter what had happened to his little sister, she had changed to a good girl.

"I'm glad to have you as my sister." He laughed.

The lost one looked at him puzzled. But she left her work table at last.

"Go to the kitchen, then."

…

Consider from Nan's voice, Issara believed this old woman already 'getting used to her'. The old nanny didn't scare of new lady any longer. In fact, she talks with the lost one like her granddaughter. Sometimes Nan chides and chases after Issara when she raids the larder in the middle of the night.

Issara knows she shouldn't do that, but she really couldn't help herself. She liked this Nan, and we love to tease the ones we like, right?

Anyway, Nan looked like the old hag (more than her already are) when the Cousland siblings arrived. She screamed like a banshee and made the two warriors hold their ears with their hands.

"Get that bloody dog from my LARDER!"

Issara forgot her situation for awhile. She raised her palms together to paid Nan respect as Thai's tradition and begged. "Please, Nan. I beg you. I will get him out of there, just please stop hurting my auditory nerve."

Of course, the old woman didn't know that kind of salute but she couldn't be mad at this deadpan girl for long. Last time she did that, the naughty girl gave her a handmade amulet and big hug for an apology. The New Lillian was more charming than the old.

"All right, just drag him out. I still have many stomachs to feed."

Issara smiled bitterly. She will open the larder's door but suddenly realized.

"Err…perhaps I should go alone." She said to Fergus.

Some say that animals have better sense than humans. They might be able to sense something that more than human understanding. Who knew? This hound might be able to identify his mistress and reveal her secret. Maybe no one believes him, but better to be careful.

Fergus seemed confused but didn't resist. He was waiting in front of the door while the little one carefully opened it.

Inside, something was sniffing the floor, looked like it was trying to find the way through the stone tiles. But while it heard the sound of open door, that thing turned to newcomer and started to wave its tail with happiness.

True be told, when someone mentions the hound, Issara will think about Bloodhound: large size canine that adorable and smart. But this one in front of her looks like protein overdose Pitbull. He really ugly and…well, seems less smart. In the other words, he looks stupid.

However, those brown eyes suddenly changed. The forge lady knew that couldn't be good. She hurried closed the door and slowly sat down on her knee.

"Shoo, good boy…I know what you're thinking but we better talk."

He cocked his head, looked at her carefully while Issara gave him her left backhand. Same as the other dogs, he smelled it which meant he wasn't hostile.

"_Well, this is the good start. Nice work, Miss Ice."_ She talked to herself.

"All right, I don't know if you will understand me but I have to tell you the true anyway." This might be the most stupid thing to do, at least she felt more stupid than ever. "I'm not your mistress, indeed. And I don't know where she is or what happen to her. I just have to stay in her body to do my important business."

"I don't know anything about this woman. She might be someone you adore, and you might hate me to take her identity." She sighed. "I'm not good with words, perhaps I should talk straight. Well, I did some terrible mistake that almost kill my younger sister so I'm on my way to save her. I'm not exactly sure what I should do but it seems I have to use this body until I finish this quest."

"Only my word is not good enough, I know. But I swear to you: I will take care of this body as best as I can. Please, give me a chance to save my little sister."

Rabbit didn't say a word, of course. But he licked her cheek and tear that she didn't know she had, it could mean he understand her. Anyway, that meant he was her ally.

"Thank you." She replied and held him tight.

…

Back in her childhood, when her grandpa had some free time, he would go to the forest near his house to find wild herbs. Sometime he brought his granddaughter with him. During the mean time, he taught her many things about the wilds and supernatural power. More than that, she learned to hunt small animal with traps and crossbows.

However, human were different from animals. After creating a high power crossbow, she still needed to learn some tactics. Ser Gilmore helped her a lot with that. He always teaches her with smiles and less word, never tried anything funny. This warrior seems to be strong, kind and gentleman, which remind her of the knight in the fairytales.

He could be Lillian's prince in dream but he doesn't look like the man in her vision, and he also popular in so many girl's mind. Issara never likes this kind of competition, it might better to step aside and focus on her mission.

But the burden on her shoulders was just too heavy. Sometimes she misses small details of work because of too much strain. One day, Issara snuck out the castle with Rabbit to take a walk.

The lost one found the lighthouse near the shore that everyone said was haunted. She sensed the piece of 'old' lighthouse's keeper that stills stuck in this world but she doesn't afraid of him. People were far more harmful than any ghost.

On atop of the abandon place, she looked ahead to the ocean without any thought. Far away, the red sun was touching the horizon, this sad scene reminds her of the little prince who wears a red scarf in a children's story. He left his planet for his personal quest just like her. But who will know her ending. It might be more sorrowful and dire.

Something's creeping into her mind. Issara closed her eyes and sang.

_Sometimes I get tired of this me first attitude__  
__You are the one thing that keeps me smiling__  
__That's why I'm always wishing hard for you_

_cause your life shines so bright__  
__I don't feel no solitude__  
__You are my first star at night__  
__I'd be lost in space without you_

_And I'll never lose my faith in you__  
__How will I ever get to heaven, if I do_

_Feels just so fine__  
__When we touch the sky me and you__  
__This is my idea of heaven__  
__Why can't it always be so good_

_But it's alright, I know you're out there__  
__Doing what you've got to do__  
__You are my soul satellite__  
__I'd be lost in space without you_

_And I'll never lose my faith in you__  
__How will I ever get to heaven, if I do_

Thinking about her last family member, Issara prayed to the holy power to keep her sis safe and give her the chance to succeed.

However, before she got back to the castle, Issara found a cluster of Iris which reminded her about Lady Eleanor. She seems so moody lately perhaps this flower could raise her mood up.

...

That night, the Teyrna stood on the balcony, looked her daughter was running around the courtyard with her laughing grandson on that slim but strong back. In her hand was a bunch of Iris flowers, soaked with her tears.

* * *

The song in this chapter is 'Lost in space' by Lighthouse family.


	4. Carelessness can kill

Carelessness can kill

* * *

Because of their good ruler, Highever was in peace for very long time. Although he didn't stay here anymore, Duncan still loved this place.

However, his duty as the Grey Warden drove him back to his hometown. He heard many good things about Ser Gilmore; he was interested in that knight for a new recruit. Perhaps he will be willing to joint his ranks.

Anyway, in between his way to Highever's castle, the Grey warden met a young woman who was dressed strangely. She was sitting on the city's wall and looking to far away with a spyglass in her hand.

"Hello, Sir." She greeted him politely. Her accent sounds strange and charming in the same time. "You don't look like the other visitors. Do you mind if I ask you something?"

His instinct told him to consider this one. Every step she took while she climbed down the wall was impressive. She didn't hesitate to move on the old stone wall, nor even when she had to jump from small beam. And she looked at him with confidence in her eyes.

Those blades at her belt were also interesting. He never sees this kind of sword before, nor the crossbow she carried.

Her crooked smile seemed so polite but friendly. Something in this woman made him curious but relaxed at the same time.

"Of course, young lady, how can I be at your service?"

She smiled and bowed. "I'm just curious. Lately, people talk about the war in the south. You're look like a traveler. Perhaps you can give me some information about that, Sir."

Though he wasn't gallant man, he still couldn't resist that polite request. The Grey Warden answered her as best as he could.

"To be honest, the situation is direr than we thought. That's why I'm here."

"You seek refuge?" She asked. "But you don't look… Well, pardon me. You look like a warrior, those blades on your back aren't just for show, I think."

"_Good observation, young one."_ Duncan thought.

"Absolutely not, I'm one of the Grey Wardens and I come here for a new recruit."

Her green eyes were sparking. "Oh, I read about your people somewhere. The Grey Wardens are the band of warriors who swore to protect people from the Darkspawn. If you've come to find new member, that means you need more hands for your job. The battle must worse than Fergus thought."

"_This one is really smart."_

"Where are my manners? You must come so far from the south. Either you will go to find some rest or to your business, I shouldn't bother you any longer." She bowed again. "Thank for your answer and farewell, Sir."

"Wait a minute, Lady!" The Grey Warden called. "Can I know your name?"

She opened her mouth to reply but a hound ran to her. But then the Mabari brought a letter in his mouth; the young woman hurried read it and her face became serious.

"Sorry Sir, but I have to go. Maybe we meet again at the castle. You will go there for Ser Gilmore, I'm sure." And then, she ran away with the hound.

He was still curious, but he knew he had found his newest recruit.

…

There was chaos in the castle. Duncan could hear the fighting from the front door. The guards seemed to flock with that event and almost forgot about him.

Anyway, The Grey Warden hurried step into the hall. He found himself caught between incredible fighting. A knight in massive armour that wielded the large axe tried to eliminate a young woman in strange suit. Although his weapon looked horrible, it couldn't do any harm to that slim one. Instead, he was bleeding and limped because of her light blades.

The man in heavy armour couldn't catch the faster woman. She dodged his axe smoothly like she was playing. Once, she evaded to another side and kicked his neck, and made him fall and he rolled on the ground like a tin can.

"Come on, you don't tire yet, do you?" She taunted. "Your mother must be shamed if you lose to a woman who half of your size."

That red hair and green eyes of the small warrior in front of him were the same ones he'd met at the wall. But now she looked more playful and fearless.

A knight growled and lifted his axe. It almost touched her skin if she didn't jump to the beam upward.

"Come down and fight like warrior, you bitch!" He snarled. "You can't stay up there forever."

If the Grey Warden was that guy, he would apologize and run as fast as he could. She narrowed her eyes like the dangerous predator.

"No. I need only one minute." And then, she threw something to the rope that was hanging the large chandelier with the ceiling.

It fell to the knight; he didn't even have enough time to swear before it knocked him out.

Everyone clapped their hands, except those guys in same banner with that poor knight. Arl Howe seemed pale as paper, while the Teyrn Cousland smiled widely.

"Very well done, pup. Your fighting is impressive."

The young one just smiled after she jumped back to the floor.

"I have to argue. This not the fight of warriors, your daughter cheated." The Arl protested.

Bryce Cousland didn't have to defend his fierce girl. She had sheathed her blades but her tongue was sharp.

"In case you haven't notice, _I_ am a little girl but your captain is a big tin man. What's the problem if I used some _'trick'_ for safer fight? It's not my fault that he didn't fight with any wit."

Howe gasped. He was trying to find some word to protest.

But the Teyrn's daughter didn't give him any chance. "You said he is your best man, but he doesn't even best me: the weakest warrior of Highever. Perhaps your troops aren't as strong you believe, with all due respect."

The laugh around them just grew louder while the Arl's face became redder.

However, the Grey Warden's presence stopped any further argument. Teyrn Bryce greeted his unexpected guess that stood at the front door.

"Duncan, it has been a long time since our last meeting! What brought you here, old friend?"

Grey Warden saluted and talked to the Teyrn but still eye at a little warrior. "My lord, the threat from the south drove me to find new recruit, I hope I can find one here."

"No doubt you come for Ser Gilmore. He is the best warrior of Highever if we don't count the Teyrn and Fergus." The redhead interrupted but suddenly stopped. "Sorry, I shouldn't interfere with the elder's business."

"Not exactly…" The brunette one refused. "If I might be so bold, I think you are a more interest choice."

"ME? Oh, sorry. But I'm not the warrior, I'm couldn't lift those swords with my one hand or wear steel armour. Some servant could be tougher than me, I'm sure." Although her voice was politely, her words were almost playful.

"_Wait a minute…if this one is a Teyrn's daughter, which mean she is…Lady Lillian! This is totally different from all information I have."_ Duncan thought.

She looks modest, polite and smart. This one might wasn't the strongest fighter but she seems to known much about how to survive in the battlefield. Sometimes, a person like that is a champion.

Anyway, Teyrn Cousland didn't seem pleased with his suggestion. "Though I don't agree with that, I don't think I can allow my little pup to joint your ranks either. Ser Gilmore is your best choice if you want a new recruit."

The Grey Warden eyed the red haired girl. She was looking at her father curiously.

"Pardon me." She said. "But if you don't mind …father. I have some work waiting for me in my workshop…"

The grey hair man sighed in relief. "All right, I think I shall not hold you from your work any longer. But you shouldn't miss the dinner, your mother will kill me if I let you work without food or sleep for several days again."

Lillian smiled softly. "I'm sorry about that. Sometime I'm too obsessed with my work and forget everything. But I will try to finish my latest invention before sunset, you have my word."

Teyrn Cousland nodded. The little one turned to Grey Warden and bowed.

"Good to see you, Ser Duncan. I hope you already know my name, but we better do it formally. I…am Lillian, the Teyrn's daughter; it is my honour to meet a Grey Warden."

"Good to see you as well, Milady. Do you mind if I ask about the 'invention' that you just mention?"

"Behold Duncan! She will bore you to death if she starts talking about that." Bryce warned playfully.

The inventor rolled her eyes. "See you later."

She bowed to everyone include the Arl, before walked through the door to another wing of castle, which most of her tools and inventions was resting in peace.

…

At the dinning hall, the Couslands had dinner together for the last night before the Teyrn and his oldest son were to march to Ostagar as the King's request.

The noble men tried to optimist, but Issara thought different. The King called for more troops from everywhere while the Grey Wardens tried to find for more recruits. The situation sounded as dire as Duncan admitted.

However, because the Arl Howe's men were late, Fergus was to bring most of Highever's troops to the south this night, while Bryce was waiting here for the rest of the troops. Issara had a bad feeling about this plan.

Oriana, Fergus's wife, seemed to notice her expression.

"Are you all right, Lillian? You look…pale."

She became familiar with her sister-in-law since she had been friends with her son. As far as Issara knew, this Antivan woman didn't like Lillian same as most of Highever. Anyway, that has been change since the lost one replaced in enigmatic lady's position.

"Nothing, I'm just…well, I'm worrying about the battle." The Lady played with her fork. She didn't have any appetite while her stomach growled with strange feeling.

"So am I." Oriana said. "Fergus said it going to be easy battle but I can't stop worrying. What I heard about those monsters they will fight makes me feel horrible."

Issara wondered about the Darkspawn everyone mentioned. Perhaps the best informer is the Grey Warden who fights with those monsters. Anyway, if those things so awful like Oriana said, it must be better to avoid talking of them in between the dinner. So, she turned to Duncan to ask him if he could spare sometime to answer her questions after this. But she found he was looking at her curiously.

"From your father's words, it seems you're the inventor. Your blades, your crossbow and your armour seem so…" He asked from another side of table.

"I know." She cut him off. "Well, just like I said. I can't use normal weapons or wear normal armour, so I made new things for myself. These blades are called Katana, but it's the modified ones."

Looked around until sure no one was looking, she grabbed something from under her hem of long tunic and showed it to him. "This is same model that I'd thrown to cut the chandelier's rope."

Issara always 'itched' to speak about her works but no one in this castle understood her. When Duncan showed his interest, she couldn't help but speak. However, her latest invention is too dangerous. She would keep it secret as long as she could.

The Grey Warden considered it closely. It similar to a small dagger but more curved, its blade was heavier than the hilt. He never saw anything like it before.

The inventor whispered. "Carelessness can kill: someone said, so I better prepare myself with some good tools."

"Prepare…? Are you worrying about something? The Teyrn said you were to stay here to take care of Highever, nothing dangerous here, I believe." Duncan asked.

"Nowhere save for me." She replied. "Problem is everywhere."


	5. Never enough

Never enough

* * *

"If you want to survive, you must prepare for anything." Her grandfather had said that, more than once. "Problems are everywhere, my child."

In the house that they call life: the sorrow is the house's owner, while the happiness is the guest. People have to live with consciousness, beware about the unwelcome host.

It sounds pessimistic, but it is reality. Anyone who loses so many will known it well, Issara is one of those. She used to be a lovely girl who was born to make everyone happy, but the death of her mother changed everything.

Just a week after her mother's funeral, her father brought a woman with a girl the same age as Issara to their house. The fourteen year old girl knew what that woman was. She called her father betrayer and ran to grandparent's house, never coming back until the old soldier lay on his deathbed.

Never trust any msn…except her Grandfather: this was her motto.

She punched practice dummy to test her new castes. It almost shattered the wooden head in half. These were good but the inventor still wanted to make a better pair. If only she had better material…

However, the moon outside the windows was hanging high in the sky. She better go to bed before the Teyrna forced her to rest again.

Issara sighed when thought about that. Sometimes they were overprotective but she liked this family. It's a mystery to her that why the real Lillian doesn't like them. As far as the lost one had known, Lady Lillian hated everything in Highever include her family. Unfortunately, there's no clue to solve that puzzle. That enigmatic lady didn't have diary or any journal. The only lead she had being a strange key that she found in a book.

When she left the workshop, Rabbit, who slept under her work table, woke up and followed her step. But he suddenly stopped before sniffing the air.

"What's wrong, boy?" His mistress asked.

Alas, she didn't have to wait for the answer. The heat and the sound of fighting around her told the story.

The first thing in her mind was the Cousland's safety. She knew Fergus and most of Highever's men went to the south that evening, so the castle was lacking of defence. If anyone took this opportunity to attack, they didn't have many chances to survive.

She ran back to the workshop and grabbed her things, and burned some papers in the fireplace. Perhaps she would die tonight but she would not give up that easily.

The door opened, two swordsmen stepped into her workshop but were thrown out by high powered crossbows. Issara grabbed her extra strong bolts from their corpses and ran to the second floor. She didn't expect another archer, so she didn't have time to change her weapon. Issara just hit him with the crossbow's stock, straight at his chin and crushed him again with metal boots to make sure he was dead.

To be honest, although she was raise by fighters, she never killed anyone. These men were her first prey and she wasn't proud of it.

"I'm so sorry." Issara prayed. "But I have no choice, please forgive me and go to the place of your afterlife."

And she prayed all the way to second floor, which more of the intruders were waiting at. To survive, the weakest warrior of Highever had to kill them all.

It's so easy to kill some character in a video game, those things just the result of hardware and programming process. But this was totally different, there's real blood on her hands, real feeling when her blades cut through somebody's flesh, real pain when she was attacked. The lost one almost surrendered to the panic.

"_Easy, Ice…easy…calm down."_ She told herself. _"Just a few meters, that door is in front of you."_

Rabbit followed her, his fur soaked with blood, most were from the intruders but some came from his mistress.

"Maybe I should stay in my world." She told him, smiled wide. "I'm no good with this thing."

The hound barked, Issara noticed that and jumped sideways only a few inches from a sharp great axe that almost split her in half.

"Uh-Oh…" The girl from the temporary world exclaimed.

It was the tin man that she'd knocked by the chandelier, but now he seemed better and eager to rematch. "Do you miss me, bitch?"

"Believe me, you have no idea." The playful warrior snapped back in a second. She stepped backward while grabbing her Katana.

He growled. "Let's see how glib you can be after I screw you."

That's scary, she had to admit but why show him how scared she was. Issara hid her emotions behind a smirk. "Dead men can't do such things like that, I'm afraid."

Anything that works once, will work again. Howe's captain lost his temper and wit because of her taunt, his attack was so powerful but careless. He never knew how the Lady snuck passed his axe to stomp at his knee, the sound of broken bones resonated within the long hall.

He dropped the axe, tried to catch swift one. But she grabbed his arm and hit its joint with her elbow. Another part of him broke even though she didn't use any weapon.

"I don't have any wish to kill you. But it seems you want to die badly, how could I resist that request?"

Physically, he wasn't totally handicapped, but her words bit at his morale. The poor captain growled hopelessly while the sharp and slim blade launched to him. Although he evaded it, another one just cut him through like one would slit a melon.

However, Issara was too kind to let him suffer. She cut his head off in one smooth move, ending his torture forever.

It didn't bring her any pleasure, she felt sick while was looking at those pieces. Rabbit barked and nudged his nose to her knee as though he was soothing her.

"It's alright, boy. Let's go to meet the others. I want to help save them." The lost one forced herself to smile. It was a habit to make everyone happy.

The pain that disappeared because of the adrenalin was back, Issara bit a health poultice bottle's cork open and drank the liquid inside while was walking to another hall. The magical potion cured her injuries and brought her some force.

Lady Eleanor ran to her, the Teyrna already took the armour on and held bloody sword and shield. "Maker's blood! What happened to you? Are you hurt, my dear?"

"Just a scratch, please don't worry." Little one lied. "Are you okay? I met the intruders on my way from workshop, they might break through…"

Two of them were lying dead on the stone floor; the blood on Teyena's blade must have been theirs. This old lady wasn't a helpless noble.

"I'm alright. But do you see the mark on their shields, its Howe's men. Why did they attack us?"

"The greedy one never felt he had enough. He wants to take over Highever, I think. Most of our men not here, this is a good time for a betrayer." Anyway, Issara put her emotions aside and went back to business. "Where are the Teyrn, Oren and Oriana? We have to get out of here."

"Your father never came to bed. Maker's blood! What if he's still with Howe?" Lady Eleanor cried.

"There's only way to found out. Let's check on Oriana and Oren. We will go to the front gate." Forger Lillian commanded. She had to do what she should do in this mess.

The Teyrna agreed, they opened another bedchamber's door and found corpses. Mother and son were lying together amidst the blood pool.

Issara felt sick, she might have killed men before but the death of the innocents made her wanted to vomit. Speechless with angst, she held Lillian's mother, who was crying like someone who lost everything in the world, tight, soothing her.

"I will make them pay." She promised.

Lady Eleanor gazed at her daughter, seemed like she wanted to say something but changed her mind. "Let's go find your father. I don't want to see this."

They fought their way to the front gate after the Lady suggested Lillian to rescue the Cousland's treasury. Issara knew she couldn't use the sword and shield but she kept it all along. If they survived, Fergus must want to have it.

Alas, the Teyrn wasn't at the front gate. They found only more bad news. The lost one had to gnash her teeth and leave Ser Gilmore behind. That knight held the door for her so she and the Lady Eleanor could escape.

There's the secret tunnel that could lead them to the outside. Both Lady ran to the kitchen that hid the secret door. Here, they found the Teyrn was lying on the floor, almost drowned in the pool of blood.

"Maker's blood!" Teyrna swore. "Bryce, you're bleeding!"

"Howe's men…found me first…they almost…did me…" He suffocated with pain.

"No more talking. We have to get out of here." Issara swallowed her sorrow and tried to carry him. "Get up, I won't leave you here."

Lillian's parent looked in each other's eyes. They were going to say something but Duncan walked in to interrupt them first.

"Howe's men are around the castle." The Grey Warden said. "They don't found the tunnel yet, but we better hurry."

"Can you help me carry my father? We will go faster if…"

The Teyrn touched her arm softly. Although he was in mortal danger, he smiled. "I can't go far, Pup. You will have better chance without me."

Old nightmare about her father came back. Issara lost her last chance to reunite with her real father because of her pride. She couldn't lose this one.

"No! That not true. You will be alright. Just get out of here and find a healer."

Bryce Cousland smiled sadly, touched her tear gently. "My dear girl, if only…"

His wife had known his mind. She held Issara and whispered. "We know you aren't Lillian, young one."

Issara gasped.

"Fergus overheard what you said to Rabbit. Truly, I felt upset at first but you were so good to us. It's might be wrong to Lillian but…in just the few months we lived together you've made us happy more than many years we spent with my real daughter. I really envy your mother; she's done a great job to raise you."

The Teyrn kissed her forehead. "I love you as my daughter, beautiful soul. But you don't have to share the fate with me."

"But…" She still protested.

He didn't listen. "Duncan, please take my wife and daughter to safety."

"I will. But I afraid I have to ask something in return." The Grey Warden replied. Despite his voice crack, he still said it firmly.

"Anything…" The Teyrn said.

"Your daughter will join the Grey Wardens and our battle against the Blight. What is happening here pales in comparison to what is going on outside these walls."

If that could bring Lady Eleanor to safety, Issara would do anything. "I accept your offer."

The Couslands gazed each other in shock. "My dear…you shouldn't have…"

"My name's Issara." She whispered. "Although I'm not your real daughter, I love you both as my parents. Please accept my respect."

The Teyrna swallowed something in her throat. "Please take my daughter, Duncan. I will stay here with Bryce."

"Eleanor…" Her husband protested.

"Hush, Bryce. I will kill every bastard those go through that door to buy them time but I won't abandon you." She insisted. "We have had a good time together. Now it is up to our children to make their own life."

Their soul daughter looked in their eyes and found a strong will that couldn't break. She procrastinated at their feet to her respect as Thai people had always done to their parent or anyone they loved most.

"Farewell, father and mother. If the other existence is real, I hope we can be family again." Issara swept her tear. Although she had lost many things in her life, this was still too much to bear.

"Go, Pup. Make your destiny. Do us proud…" They said the last sentence, before the front gate destroyed.

* * *

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for the beta :)


	6. True Colors

True colors

* * *

Just a few steps after they arrived in Ostagar, Duncan looked back to his follower. Lady Lillian and her hound were walking silently. She'd covered herself in a black cloak, and kept looking at the ground. Since they left Highever, She'd barely said a word. He understood her sorrow but this cold around her made him felt like he was standing in the Frostback Mountains.

This one was capable of fighting, he never doubted that, but she was something more than a simply warrior. The redhead woman seemed strange in every way, like she was build from different material than the rest of Ferelden.

The Grey Warden still remembered: in the night they escaped from the castle, he saw the little one was looking the burning home and said;

"Father, mother and everyone who lost in this treachery tonight, please listen. I swear to you all. Your sacrifice will be a not waste; Arl Howe will pay for his crimes." She slowly raised her short Katana to her throat. "This is my promise."

Before Duncan could say a thing, Lillian grabbed her long ponytail and cut it with the blade. She released the red hair and let it fly away with the cold wind that came from nowhere, as the dead recognized her word.

Anyhow, the Grey Warden came back to real world when an old woman walked to him.

"Wynne, Glad to see you here." He greeted the white haired one.

She smiled and greeted him back. "Glad to see you as well, Duncan. I see you have new recruit with you. Is this one from the Circle? I never see her before."

Issara looked at both, confused. "Are you talking about me?"

The white haired woman smiled. "How rude am I? Sorry, young lady. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Wynne, one of the mages summoned by the King."

A few minute ago, she had met the one they called King Cailan. The man really wasn't like any king she'd known. And now she found the old woman who said she was a magic user. Perhaps she shouldn't be surprised if there was a dragon to fly above this ruined city.

Since they'd left Highever, everything had change. Maybe her real adventure truly began from there.

However, Thai people respect their elders. Issara, unaware of her attitude paid respect to Wynne by raised her palms together. She'd known she was in disguise but old habits die hard. "Sawatdee ka…"

Wynne gazed at her in surprise, which reminded Issara about what she was doing. The girl from another world hurriedly put her hands down.

"I mean, good to meet you. My name is I…Lillian."

One hand on cheek, the mage smiled at her slyly. "You're so adorable when you're blushing."

Adorable…No one had used that adjective to describe her before. Issara just blushed harder.

The Grey Warden helped her just in time. "It was my pleasure to talk with you, but we still have some business to attend. I'm afraid we have to go, Wynne."

"Before you go…" Wynne stopped him and whispered something to his ear.

Duncan nodded. "I will."

The lost one scratched her throat, aware of new problem. Her presage seemed right when her mentor said.

"Will you mind if I ask you something?"

Issara cocked her head. "Well…it depends on: What do you want to ask?"

The older man chuckled, this one was really something. "You're free to explore this camp here as you wish. Only thing I request is: When you are ready, seek the Grey Warden name Alistair out and tell him it's time to summon the other recruits. He'll know where to go."

"That's easy enough." The young woman replied and bowed to both elders. "See you later."

"Charmed…" Wynne smiled.

…

Issara explored the ruined city and the nearby area, trying to gather the as much information as she could. After she found the mage's ritual, she wasn't surprised when she met strange creature that was being studied by a group of soldiers.

"It's already dead but it still dangerous." The trainer called it Darkspawn: tainted creatures those were threatening Ferelden and world. It wasn't just strong and could fight like men; the tainted blood is also a poison to the other creatures. The taint can kill or corrupt the living one; only the Grey Wardens can master it.

However, she felt awkward by many eyes those looked at her like the jester. Neither her weapons nor her suit were cutting-edge technology, but their designs were out of place.

_"Maybe I should wear something similar to them."_ Issara thought. _"These leather breeches are too…strange, maybe."_

She was too innocent to have known how good she looked…how Lillian looked in a tight leather suit. Lady Cousland had marvellous curves and beautiful face, totally different from Issara who always acted like a man.

The mistress and her hound left the study ring to find the quartermaster. With the few coins in her pocket, perhaps she could buy new armour that would disguise her strange look.

But she had been stopped by a stranger. A tall man with flirty face was walking around her like honey bee swarming a flower, even Rabbit growled hostilely.

"Are you the third recruit? Well, you're not what I thought you'd be."

"What's that suppose to mean?" Issara asked, a hand on her Katana.

"Ser Jory and I just betting about the third recruit, we didn't think they'd recruit a woman." He said, eyes twinkling. "Yet, here you are. The name's Daveth. It's about bloody time you came along. I was beginning to think they cooked this ritual up for our benefit."

"I'm Lillian." She replied, still keeping her manner. "What is the ritual you're talking about?"

"Something we have to pass to be Grey Wardens, I was sneaking around camp last night and heard a couple of Grey Wardens talking. I'm thinking they plan to send us into the Wilds." Her respond was to slightly frown. He whispered conspiratorially. "It's all too secretive for me, makes my nose twitch… I guess we'll have to wait and see, like we have a choice."

"They're forcing you to be here?" The redhead asked with serious expression.

"I've got nowhere else to go, after what Duncan saved me from." He tried to loose the tension around them with the laugh, but the deadpan woman responded with nothing. So, he gave up. "Anyway, I expect it is time to get back to Duncan. That's where I'll be if you need me for anything."

"Later…" That was all she said.

Not far from there, she met another recruit name Jory. He seemed eager and proud to be one of the Grey Wardens, but speaking about the ritual changed the color on his face. The big guy seemed to worry about the 'big secret' badly.

Truly, Issara had a bad feeling about it too. But just like Daveth said, she doesn't have any choice. Thinking about that just wasted her time.

She walked to the shop, but suddenly changed her mind. A familiar voice came from somewhere that made Lillian's heart beat faster, which made the habitant feel cramped inside.

She followed the voice, not knowing exactly where it might lead her. Issara found another robe wearer, who stormed pass her, but he wasn't the one she was seeking. Something lead her feet, both passed through the long ramp to a clearing that might used to have been a hall.

There, a man in splintmail was standing alone at the middle of a roofless room. He was…well, beautiful in the sunlight. His dirty blond hair and large frame seemed familiar. When he looked at her, Issara felt her stomach twist…or maybe it was Lillian's emotion, she'd never know.

"You know, one good thing about the Blight is how it brings people together."

Issara blinked. Was it some kind of greeting?

As always, the tension was growing around them fast. The cheerful guy looked awkward by her silence.

"It's like a party! We could all hold hands. That would… Ouch!" He couldn't finish the sentence because the excited hound launched at him, even Issara gasped in surprise.

"Rabbit, stop…!" She shouted, tried to drag her minion off of the blond templar.

Wait…! How could she know he was a templar?

Anyway, he was not harmed. The Mabari didn't hurt him. It just licked his face happily like meeting a long lost friend.

"Rabbit…?" The guy exclaimed while the hound stopped licking him. "It's really you, boy?"

"You… know each other?" Something strange was happening, if he knows Rabbit, why doesn't he know she was Lillian?

"Of course, I know him. But…who are you? Why he follow you, not Lillian?"

"What? That's ridiculous. I'm Lillian." She denied it, even as her heart was beating fast.

Although The Couslands didn't overhear the conversation between her and Rabbit, they might have known her true identity because they had known Lillian's habits. But how could this man knew that at the first meeting? What's the obvious different between two women?

"Are you kidding? I know her; she doesn't have raven hair or hazelnut brow eyes. And she doesn't look as beautiful as you…" He stopped after realizing what he'd just said. Both cheeks turned to adorable shade of pink, almost redder than her.

Did her ears deceive her? No one ever says she's beautiful-Err…Maybe she should focus on the fact that he could see her true colors.

"How can you see that?" Issara's consciousness resided in Lillian's body. If anyone could see her, which mean he see through the flesh to her mind. Even though they were in a fantasy world, that still sounded unbelievable.

"What do you mean? I just see you with my eyes. What's wrong?"

He didn't understand, neither did she but if there's the reason in everything like Buddha taught, his ability must mean something. However, the main problem was; should she trust this man? And: should she tell him her story?

"_Not so fast, Ice."_ She told herself. _"You don't even know his name."_

"Your eyesight…I think. You might have terrible problem with it because what you see is wrong." Issara lied.

The strange guy frowned. "If you really are Lillian, why you don't remember me? We use to be…close. I mean, we were good friends."

Not knowing why the blood was rushing to her face with its own purpose. Some of Lillian's fragments were still in this shell and were out of her control. Issra sensed some strange emotion within it but couldn't understand a thing.

"More than six months ago, I got in an accident. My head was cracked so hard and I was unconscious more than two months…" A half truth is more believable than a whole lie. Issara wove the story carefully. "When I awoke, I couldn't remember even my name. My family tried to help me regain my memories but…"

Images of lost parent rushed back to her mind, Issara sniffed and bit her lip to prevent the tears.

He might not have been intelligent but he was thoughtful enough to understand. The ex-templar apologized in panic. "I'm sorry. Please don't cry! Or I'll cry with you."

The thought about such a big guy crying like a child made her smile. It's just small smile but it came from her reviving heart. She hadn't smiled like this since the day Highever was lost.

"Maker…" Her interlocutor swore breathlessly.

When she glazed him in confusion, the ex-templar looked to another direction, trying to hide his red cheeks.

"Well, perhaps we should re-introduce ourselves. I'm Alistair, junior Grey Warden."

"Duncan told me to find you. But…I think you're a templar." At least, that's what Lillian let her know.

"When we met more than six months ago, I was a templar-in-training. Duncan recruited me just a week after we separated." Alistair replied.

Issara touched the key that hid in her leather jacket. Maybe he had known about it.

"You said we were…friends. Can you tell me about that?"

"It's a long story, I'm afraid. Maybe we can sit together and talk another time…when my eyesight is better." He refused with soft smile. "I can't help but think you're a different person when I see your face like this."

"Oh." She could say nothing else.

"We better back to the Grey Warden's camp. There's the ritual waiting." Alistair said and stretched his hand to her.

Before she knew it, her hand was holding his firmly. They walked together like that to the camp, both having reddened cheeks.

* * *

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta :)


	7. Into the night

To be honest, this chapter seems so… what do they call in English, complicated or complex? Well, whatever. I tried to write something different but the result is a bit… I'm sure if someone was knocked at his head might felt dizzy like that.

…

Into the night

* * *

It's like you're watching the damaged movies. The motion pictures does not clear, torn and some scene missing. To repair the story, time and abilities are necessary.

Alas, that's impossible without harmonic shell and soul. When she tried to concentrate, shadow of Lillian's memories would appear. So many occurrences showed in disorder, it's confused and lost her.

She was drowning in the deepest sea of memories.

Between the rituals, Daveth couldn't master the taint and die in agony. Jory who overwhelmed with fear had deny the order, Duncan have no choice but killed him. They have die with different cause, but all forced her to choose between drink it or die by Duncan's blade.

She couldn't forget the feeling when taint liquid was burning her core. Filthy smells still linger in her nostril, throat and stomach. Images and visages those she didn't know or understand were passing by. Only clear thing was an unfamiliar voice.

"Your quests not yet finish. You can't die here, get up!"

She jerked awake but didn't completely sober. It hard to tell she was waking up or just fell to another dream.

Only thing she knew was she walking on the stone stairway those seemed have no end. Her stamina almost ran out and had to lean with the wall to stand. However, her lags still forced her to move. She couldn't stop here, many lives depend on her.

Something was wrong; she knew it since King Cailan insisted to give this quest to her and Alistair. Her foggy presage warned her about that nutty old woman's words.

"This Blight is greater than they realizes." Morrigan's mother said that without more explanation. But it stuck in her mind.

Issara slapped her forehead, trying to forget those things she met in Korcari Wilds and concentrate in present. She was in quest: to light the beacon on top of the tower of Ishal. It will give general Loghain's men the signal to flank the darkspawn those were drowning by King's army.

Just light that damn beacon, while the others were fighting and dying in the battlefield. The quest should easy and simple. But the darkspawn overwhelmed the tower and killed most of soldiers. Issara, Alistair and Rabbit have to fight they way to the top floor. Fortunately, they have a mage and two fighters as the followers. The situation didn't that bad.

At least, when Alistair carried her up and swept her sweat from her face, she felt save.

She closed her eyes…and suddenly was drawn deeper in unfathomable sea.

One of her companions was flying out the window. A giant darkspawn that calls Ogre greeted them immediately when the Grey Wardens stepped to the top floor. It grabbed and crushed a poor warrior like a meatball before thrown him away.

The mage used his magic, but that couldn't help much. He and another soldier were crushed by the big boulder that the Ogre thrown to them.

Fear overwhelmed her heart, she couldn't move while was looking another rock hurled to her. But Alistair pulled her out of monster's devastation. He reminded her of her duties and the most important fact.

She does not alone.

Back to her own self, Issara figured her foe carefully. She shot it with the compound crossbow while her partner attacked it with sword and shield. The extra-strong bolts destroyed its eyes but also made it gone berserk.

Cut out other thought from her mind, lieutenant's daughter followed the father's instruction by focus on the foe, tried to kill it as fast as she can. She grabbed her little toy from her utility belt, aimed the monster's head and pulled the trigger.

Bang…! The bullet had done its job honestly. An Ogre that was smashing stone floor suddenly stopped when its head shattered to thousand pieces. Alas, the recoil from handmade gunfire shoved the gunner fell over.

"Shit!" Issara shouted. Her hands were shaking hard. "It's more powerful than my calculation."

Another Grey Warden came to his sense. Alistair asked seriously while ran to her. "What's that? Did you use the magic?"

The inventor was sitting lags-cross on the floor, leaning to the barrel, totally doesn't ladylike. "Nope, not the magic, this is the product of war's technology." She showed him a pistol. "Small as the palm but powerful as the thunder; this is a gun."

"I'm not sure I understand, but it sound useful. Why don't you use it more often and sooner?"

"It isn't that convenient." She refused with exhausted smile. "This is simple model: it can load only one bullet per round and need time to reload, the recoil also harder than I can handle which make it doesn't useful in fight. More than that, I don't know how durable it is. If I use it too often, it might explode in my hands someday."

"That's dangerous! Perhaps you shouldn't use it at all." Alistair said worrying.

Issara just laughed. "You said that? You Grey Warden who receive the taint and dark power for eliminate the Blight said that? Wow, so irony."

"Hey, it isn't the same. At least the taint doesn't kill you…immediately, if you can master it."

"Ok, whatever. But you don't have to worry. I'm always careful." Nutty inventor gave him wide smile. "Now, I think I need some rest. If you don't mind, please light the beacon."

The ex-templar murmured something in his throat but went to his job. Rabbit dragged his lags to his mistress, so she gave him some healing snacks.

"Well, you heard that." She whispered. "Don't come near me too often, ok? I have another boom thing in my pockets. It might kill you if I do some mistake."

The hound whined in protest. His mistress just laughed and patted his head.

Near windows, Alistair eyes her from another side of the room. "I think I am a strange one, but you stranger than me."

Issara grinned annoying and gave him military saluted. "Thank you very much, sir."

Another Grey Warden opened his mouth to say something but distracted by the scene outside the windows. While junior one felt something creep underneath her skin.

"Rabbit…run to Alistair…GO!" She commanded.

From corner of the eyes, Issara wait until sure her companion stay far enough before grabbed two of black spheres from another pocket, pulled the pin…and thrown.

In same second those hoard of darkspawn broke the door and rally to them, the spheres smashed on the ground. Suddenly do its job seriously; powerful hand-make bombs destroyed everything in devastation area. Monster's pieces and tower's components were flying and colliding. Little room became small disaster in just a few second.

Several minutes from that, Alistair and Rabbit appeared from behind the rocks they used as shelter, covered with dust and whatnot. After saw the mess, the Grey Warden frowned at smiling woman who was hiding behind another boulder.

"It's more powerful than your calculation too?"

That one grinned slyly. "What can I say? I lost my lucky calculator."

"I hope you have another lucky charm. It isn't funny if we all die because your distrustful things." The ex-templar grumped.

Never let anyone defeat her in tongue's war, girl from another world snapped back instantly. "Too bad, I don't have one. So I trapped here, with you."

He made funny face, didn't sure what he thought. This woman could drive him mad and laugh in the same time. Only thing he knows was: she was nutty as or more than the old woman they met in Korcari Wilds.

"I'll laugh later. We have the bigger problem down there."

"What do you mean?" Issara's expression changed to serious.

"I already light the beacon but Loghain's troops don't come. King's army and Grey Wardens are overrun by the hoard. We must do something!" Alistair shouted, walking around upset.

Little Warden spied the area with her telescope. She could take a better look than her partner.

"Damn it! He and his men are leaving. That asshole is betraying us, betray the King!"

Back to war council, she remembered the general said something strange, she should know it but she couldn't. If only she had full consciousness…

Anyway, there's nothing she could do about that right now. She destroyed the door way because she thought they could hold the ground and wait for reinforcement but the situation has change. They have to find the way out.

"Enough about that bastard, we need to get out of here…and quickly. I don't think that barrier can hold the hoard for long." Issara gave the order.

The senior one looked her questioning but didn't argue.

She thought about climb down but the tower was so high and Rabbit could do that. She won't leave whoever follows her, so this isn't the option.

"We can't go anywhere, except we have the griffon." Alistair joked.

"Very funny…" Shorter one growled. "But you're right. I hope we have helicopter. We already blow the roof and…"

Something swooped down. It made the strong wind and that blow Issara fell over. Her head hit the ground, everything faded to the black. Last thing she remembered was someone's word:

"You're so stubborn, Issara."

And…she coughed hard, like anyone who just survives from drowning. Her eyes finally opened, but still…didn't sober.

"What the fuck…?" Issara moaned. Her head ached, her throat sore and every muscle cried in pain. She never felt weak like this before.

"Ah…your eyes finally open, and you instantly swore, mother shall be pleased." Someone mocked her.

She knew that voice. "Morrigan…a girl from the wilds…"

"You remember my name, 'tis impressive."

Issara sat up slowly and looked around carefully. With the dizzy brain, she need time to analyze situation. "Where am I?"

All she saw was a small room with needy furniture, but at least the bed she sat was comfortable.

"You're in my house. Mother rescued you from the tower. Do you remember?" Morrigan asked and stepped closer.

Lady Grey Warden pinched her own cheek, tried to make sure she really awake this time. "Nope, all I knew is my body in pain. What's really happen?"

"Your 'flesh' does not hurt. But your 'mind' just come back to it own form. You suffered too much damage recently, 'twas cracked because you do not steady."

Issara shocked but wore poker face. "I knew what that mean. Well, that's make sense. My mind shattered, so I had strange visions."

Wilds girl smirked. She realized this one was a capable woman. "Not every mind could reform after suffer like that without the help from mage. You have strong mind, perhaps 'tis because you came from another time."

Raven eyebrows arched in curiousness. "It's just me, or you're thrilling."

Morrigan smiled wider. "I have to admit, to meet someone like you is interesting. You can not meet people from another world everyday, right?"

"I guess you're right. But, well…how could you know that?"

"Since I saw you in the wilds, I know your shell and mind do not belong to each other. So I did some research and found a possible question."

Although this woman and her mother gave Issara some assistant before, it's still hard to trust these two. Especially while she still thinks that answer didn't clear. Perhaps she should change the subject.

"Could I ask about my friend? Is he saved?"

"The suspicious dimwitted one, that was with you before? Yes," The witch smirked. "He is outside by the fire. Mother asked to see you when you awoke."

"I mean my hound, but yes, Alistair is my friend too." Issara hid her grin while looked at moody witch. To be honest, she didn't want to annoy this one but she couldn't stop her mouth. You doesn't have chance to annoy the apostate everyday as well. "Thank you for take care of me, Morrigan."

Obviously shock, the beautiful witch sputtered. "I…you are welcome."

Took her cloths on, the inventor hope she can find more answer from Morrigan's mother. The wise and the mad are similar; let's see what that old one was.

…

It's so strange, really. I could write several pages of document but I'll lack of idea if I had to write a short sentence. As you might notice, Issara always said too much just like me. I, myself doesn't a woman of word. In real life I barely say anything if no one asks me to. But if I had some mood to talk, you will need some snack to keep my mouth shut. Err- where is our point? Oh… right. I wanted to thank for every favorite and alert story. It's mean so much to me that someone loves to read my story. And thank for the help from 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta. Just Microsolf word and dictionary couldn't help me everything.


	8. May it be

May it be

…

What the hell had she gotten herself into?

Issara gulped the strangely flavoured soup down her throat. Its smell and taste bothered her a lot but it was better than nothing. Anyway, that didn't cause the awkward atmosphere around here. Her cause of headache was the band of…well, extraordinary people that she had to travel with.

Looking around, she saw Sten: a warrior of the Beresaad, the vanguard of the Qunari race; sat near the rim of the camp with her hound, they were talking, something she wasn't sure she should know. Well, she talked with Rabbit like he was a human too, but Sten seemed too serious.

He didn't say, but she was rather sure someone so serious like him must have some terrible reason for what he had done. The Revered mother of Lothering's chantry said he'd slaughtered a farmer's family. But instead of running away, he surrendered and let the templars cage him, which sounded strange.

Speaking of strange, she still didn't know what had inspired her to accept Leliana to be another companion. That ex-cloistered sister was useful and friendly but her vision sounded like a hallucination. Those things she said gave Issara a creepy feeling, even the shaman's granddaughter had vision herself sometimes.

Even now, she still was not sure. Why had she gathered these people from Lothering? Anyhow, the main question is: why did she have to take the lead?

Back at Flemeth's hut in Korcari Wilds, Morrigan's mother instructed the Grey Wardens to gather the allies and army. But Alistair is the senior Grey Warden now, why was she; the newest Warden had to be the leader?

All the way from the wilds to Lothering, and from Lothering to this god forsaken glade, she tried to be an optimist, to think of the bright side, but the more she thought the more it made her angrier at that stupid templar. He left a burden on her shoulders and just followed her innocently like a dog. What the…

The Lady Warden stopped thinking when someone's shout hit her ears. Morrigan, who followed her only because of Flemeth's order, was shouting something to a smiling Leliana, sounded like they were arguing about fashion. The two women were in front of the witch's tent but if she didn't move from this position soon, they might come to get someone who will side with them. Issara better find another shelter ASAP.

Gathered the used bowls, the Warden went to the pond near their camp for cleaning. After their dinner tonight, it was her shift to wash the dishes anyway.

She was sitting at the edge of the pond when someone sneak up behind and said.

"I never knew you could do that." This made her jump in shock and almost drops the bowls.

"Do what?" She replied annoyed, though she didn't stop working. The being behind her couldn't be anyone but Alistair. He deserved more than her grumpiness.

"Washing the dishes isn't the job for a Teyrn's daughter."

Still frowning, Issara turned to face him. "Stop playing games, I know you already know I'm not your Lillian."

He completely lost his guard. "How did you know that?"

"You acted strangely since our first mission in Korcari Wilds." The Lady Warden stood up. It didn't bring her to his eyes level because of their different height. She may be a tall woman but he was taller. "To be specific, it's since you saw my gadget. I remembered you asked me about my compass.

"And still you toy with me like a fool all the time."

"Shut up!" She growled. "Ok, I'm sorry that I lied to you but I do it for some good reasons."

Alistair arched his eyebrows annoying. "I want to know all of them."

Issara sighed. Now they were the last Grey Wardens in Ferelden. Like it or not, they had to work together. Everything would be easier if they trusted each other.

"It's a long story but I will cut it short." She sighed again. "My real name is Issara. It means freedom in my language."

"So, that means you came from somewhere that has a different language, right?"

Raven eyebrows arched in curiosity but she didn't say anything about that. "Yes, we have our own language. In fact, our people have many things different from you: The physical form, culture and religions. Furthermore, because different time, we also have different technology."

"Guns, grenades and compass were created by your technology…I see. But that doesn't explain why you're here in Lillian's body. I asked many guys and they said you've red hair and green eyes. Why am I the only one who sees differently?"

"That is…complicated. I don't understand it either." Now she knew he wasn't totally stupid. At least, he had some logic. "All I know is: I've come here to finish my quest. And when I opened my eyes, I was stuck in this body. The physical body is Lillian but the spirit and mind are mine. And before you ask, I don't know where she is now."

"That doesn't explain anything. How did you go through time? Who sent you? Or who are you?"

"Back at home, I'm a blacksmith, but I prefer to call myself an independent artist. As you might say, I love to create things. All of those things are ordinary in my time but extraordinary here." She pretended to not to hear the other questions.

Alistair frowned. He stepped closer which made her stepped backwards. Issara stumbled on something and lost her balance. The ex-templar got her before she fell, which made her fall to his arms instead.

The raven haired girl was so small without her arrogant attitude. She was so soft and had good scent, like fresh air after the rain. At first, he blushed and almost immediately released her but he suddenly realized this was a golden opportunity. So, he took full advantage of the growling woman in his embrace.

"Don't get coy, answer my question now."

Issara growled with crimson cheeks. She thought about hitting him with her knee but Lillian's body didn't respond. "All right, I will. Just step back. You're holding me too tight, I can't breath."

Something in her voice made him grin. He loosened his arms; the little one hurried to pulled herself off him and clumsily fell to the pond.

Luckily or not, the pond doesn't deeper than a human's knees. Issara was sitting in the water, her simple tunic and trousers soaked. Although she crossed her arms to cover her body, the naughty eyes of Alistair still saw something.

"Stop looking at me like that!" She commanded and splashed the water at the laughing templar. "And stop laughing, too…"

He couldn't do that. Even though he sent his hand to help her stand, it was shaking because of his laughter. The Lady Warden frowned and pulled his hand hard, which made him stumble, and then he was lying near her.

Same as most of Thai's people, Issara loved water. She forgot her manner, with loud laughing; she splashed the big mouthed warrior like a child. When he fought back, the Grey Wardens got all soak and dirty with muddy water.

Slippery and swift, the shorter Warden fled from his clumsy hands to the shore. However, Alistair pulled her ankle, which made her fall on muddy earth. And before she knew, the larger frame of him covered her completely.

The vision flashed to her mind. She saw something that happened before…It was Alistair in this same position; he was whispering a name huskily.

"Lillian…"

"What are you doing?" The bard shouted. Totally cut the vision off.

Both Wardens blushed. They were too shy ever admit what they were doing. The gentleman stood first before helping his follow Grey Warden get up.

Anyway, Issara was the one who talked. "It isn't what you think. We just…practiced wrestling. Well, we have to prepare for anything."

Leliana smiled slyly when Sten and Morrigan shook their heads and went back to their posts.

"That is a lame defence." Alistair whispered.

"Shut up!" She growled in her throat.

Still smiling, the bard gathered the dishes and started to walk away. "I better let you two…practice together. Don't worry about these dishes; I will pack them."

"Thank you." Issara murmured.

When everyone gone, she sighed and turned to face Alistair.

"Alright, I will tell you everything. But you have to tell me everything you know about Lillian…after I clean myself."

"It's not that bad. You don't look different from normal." He jested.

"Ha-ha, so funny." Her little fist smacked his chest. "I don't know about you guys but cleanliness is necessary for women. I swore to the Teyrn and Teyrna that I will take care of Lillian's body, and I always keep my word."

"They knew…"

"We: Lillian and I are different. You know that, right? Wouldn't it be strange if the Couslands couldn't recognize that? They are her family."

The ex-templar opened his mouth to say something, but changed his mind. "This will be a long story, meet me later at my tent…I mean, in front of it."

"Okay. I will join you in ten minutes." She replied and walked away.

…

"Perhaps…we should go to the Circle of Magi. One of those mages might be able to help you." Alistair said after hearing the entire story of Issara.

"How could they? By exorcising me and bringing Lillian back? I'm not a demon if you don't understand." Issara provoked. She leaned herself against a log, rested her back and massaged her temple. "How could I explain it in your language?"

She tried to find similar words and a new way to explain it.

"Well, let me put it in this way. The flesh is the vessel of the mind. One consciousness could live peacefully in its own shell. If mind and body don't belong to each other, everything will be doomed. Although I'm habitable in this shell, I still can't control this body completely."

"In my youth, I heard about someone who had lost his flesh before his time, so his consciousness had to live in the dead body. But that's just a rumour, no one can prove that."

Near her was the hopeless ex-templar. He held his forehead, tried to think. "I don't understand. If Lillian still alive, why you can use her body? And where is she now?"

Issara sighed and pulled him to her lap. "I wish I knew."

He tensed, and then tried to get up. But the frowning lady scolded him.

"Shut up and lay down. I've never let anyone rest in my lap before, just take your opportunity before I change my mind."

Alistair chuckled and relaxed. He still longed for Lillian but this Issara didn't bad person. In fact, he couldn't imagine the Teyrn's daughter as the one who lead this strange band. She might be a smart woman but she didn't know how to bring people together and he wouldn't have such a good opponent.

Looking up, he met another pair of brown eyes. He couldn't stop himself from brushing a lock of raven hair out of it.

However, she avoided his stare. "There are many things we have to manage. My problems have to stay aside, except when it interferes with our quest."

"But what is the demon's game? What if that conflicts with our goal?"

Issara sighed deeply. "I honestly don't know. Truly, if Flemeth didn't suggest to us the use of those old treaties, I really don't know what would've done. We're the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden. There's the Blight to defeat but we have so many obstacles. Sometime when I thought about that, I feel…tired. So, I don't want to think too much."

Suddenly, Alistair realized how selfish he was. He laid those responsibilities on her because he thought his leader was so strong, smart and beautiful. But she was just a person; she couldn't carry all the duties on those small shoulders.

He got up to sit near her and tried to apologize, but she pulled away.

"Enough with that stupid impulse," Issara declared. "Go get some rest. You have third shift for keeping watch tonight, just rest when you have the chance."

She didn't give him any chance to argue, the exotic woman left the meeting to stand at a faraway tree. She leaned to it, looking at the dark sky.

When he followed her command and went to his tent, the wind just carried a cold and sad song to his soul.

(1)May it be an evening star  
Shines down upon you  
May it be when darkness falls  
Your heart will be true

You walk a lonely road  
Oh! How far you are from home

Mornie utúlie  
Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie  
A promise lives within you now

May it be the shadows call  
Will fly away  
May it be you journey on  
To light the day

When the night is overcome  
You may rise to find the sun

Mornie utúlie  
Believe and you will find your way

Mornie alantie  
A promise lives within you now

A promise lives within you now

…

(1) The lyric from the song 'May it be' by Enya.

Thank Carve ur heart Out for Beta


	9. On the verge of something wonderful

On the verge of something wonderful

…

"Do you know? One day, people will fly in sky like a bird."

That's her; the most important friend in his life.

She was a lady, an important person of Ferelden. But she befriended a stable boy like him because he is only one stupid enough to listen to her.

No one, even her father ever believed in her visions. The Chantry investigated her long ago but found nothing. So, they just think she lost her mind. If she wasn't a Teyrn's daughter, they might have left her in the wild, leaving her fate in the hands of the Maker.

Once a year, the Couslands came to Redcliffe for some of the season. All those time, she and her faithful hound would hide in the stable until he'd found her one day. Instead of fearing him or being angry, she just told him coldly.

"I was waiting for you."

He never knew what caused it. All he knows is they became the only friend they each had. Alistair was a bastard; people treated him like stray cat. She was a saddened girl who never fit in with the world. Together, they were perfect partners. She could say anything she wanted with him, while he could act like himself around her.

"Even though I regret being what I am, I'll never regret being your friend." One rainy day, she whispered it while they were sitting together, watch the sprinkling water wash over the silent garden.

They were friends even after he was sent to the Chantry. She'd always sent him long letters. Although he couldn't reply, the letters never stopped coming.

Till that day…

One of the high rank templars got the order; he had to go to Highever to investigate a series of strange events. Somehow, he chose Alistair: templar-in-training as his follower. Seemingly coincidental but she'd known better. In the last letter, the message she wrote was like prophesy.

"We will meet again. This time, I will tell you one last thing."

Sounded like a bad omen, and he knew it was.

…

The water in a small pot started to boil. The sound of popping bubbles woke Alistair from his day dreaming. So, he poured the hot tea into his mug.

Anyhow, someone snatched it from his hand. The robber sat down on the log near him and took a sip.

"Oh, what a relief…" She sighed. "I think I will freeze. The pond is very cold."

The blond Grey Warden gazed at his annoying fellow. Her short hair was still damping, he could see some water drops, dazzling on her pale-honey skin. The sleeveless shirt she wore had a low neck, he couldn't stop his eyes from follow one of driblets that was dripping to the ample swell of her breasts.

Alistair blushed and turned his eyes to elsewhere. "You took a bath in this cold temperature?"

"Well, old habits die hard. Back at home, I always bathed at least twice per day or more if the temperature was hot. I really couldn't stand my sweat's smell." Issara answered innocently.

Boys always are boys. Although she said it without thinking, he couldn't sweep the fantasies about her soaked body out of his mind.

"You love to be clean, I take it." The ex-templar said eventually, almost huskily.

She just smiled and took another sip.

They were sitting in the tranquil morning; the only sound they heard was the qunari who was packing his bedroll. The sun was still hiding in the dim sky and their other companions still resting in their tents.

After awhile, Issara asked him carefully. "Do you want to talk about…Duncan?"

"You don't have to. I know you didn't know him as long as I did." The emote Warden refused.

A towel was hurled at his head. The fierce woman doesn't like that answer. "That doesn't mean I won't mourn for him. You aren't the only one who lost the ones you loved in this tragedy, Alistair. I saw many good people die on e battlefield, they must have someone waiting back home. As you saw in Lothering, there're the refugees, orphans and insane person. They're all lost and cry like you."

Anyway, she lowered her voice and calmed down. "Sorry, all I want to say is…I understand your grief but I don't want to see it again. Even you cry until your eyes have blind, it couldn't bring your lost back. I…damn, I miss the point somewhere. I really don't well in speech."

Somehow, Alistair looked at moody Warden and chuckled. "All right, I get it. I think about myself too much. Duncan warned me from the beginning that this could happen. Any of us could die in battle. I shouldn't…"

"You can cry if you want, just don't let the grief take over your mind. I don't think I can stop this blight without you." Issara interrupted him. "We're partner, right? I don't want to lose you."

"I knew. You and your crossbow are dangerous but that useless in short length fighting. Thus you need my sword and shield for deal with that."

Faster than blink, she frowned and glance him furiously. "It's true that I can't use those swords, but my blades and Muay-Thai also dangerous too. If you curious, we could proof it anytime."

"Oww, I didn't mean to insult your abilities!" Who's will? He saw Issara kicked the bandit at his neck, just one hit and it's broke. She could kill will bare hands. "I just…" He stopped when noticed a crook smile on the corner of her lips.

It's a rare moment. Issara always smile slyly or sadly, hardly to see her laugh openly. Alistair gazed her was laughing out loud, little dimples made her smile shine.

"Sorry, I jest. Don't so serious." Smile woman apologized. While was talking, she waved her hand. "You're more important than a tanker, believe me."

They're spending short time together in this messiness, but he began to understand this one. She never talks sweet but always honest, except when she has to lie.

Slander hand placed on his shoulder, her smile soft and friendly. "Duncan must saw something important in you, so he forced the grand cleric to release you from the Chantry. If you've believe in him, don't hold yourself down again."

His stomach knotted, that smile poisoned him. "I'd like to have a proper funeral for him. I don't think he had any family to speak of." He closed his eyes and said it eventually.

"Well, for my people, the most important thing about family is relationship. Although don't bond by blood, you and he still are family." Issara bit her lip, which Alistair thought it's so cute. This one always full of self-confident, so she more adorable when she blush bashfully. "Sorry…I talk too much."

"I'm not mind to listen the kind words of your." The ex-templar jested.

Moody Grey Warden shot him with fiercely glare. "Who's kind? I just can't control my mouth."

Chuckled softly, Alistair felt better. "Thank, I really appreciate your concern."

She waved her hand, turned her face elsewhere to hide her red cheeks. "Don't mention that. It's what a friend for, anyway."

The ex-templar grabbed that hand. The owner shudder a little, still didn't turn to face him.

"I…have something to tell you." He said. "Something I, ah, should probably have told you earlier."

"What is it? If you want to tell me how irksome I am, I already know." Hid her throbbing heart, Issara replied playfully.

"Ha! You can read my mind." She smacked him at his arm made Alistair moaned slightly and rubbed it. Even she didn't ware her cestus, her punch still hard. "I jested, please don't hit me. I bruise easily."

Fiercely woman hit him again but smiled. None of them realized how close they were while they teased each other.

Anyhow, he became serious. "I told you before how Arl Eamon: Queen Rowan's brother raised me, right? That my mother was a serving girl at the castle and he took me in? The reason he did that was because... well, because my father was King Maric. Which made Cailan my... half-brother, I suppose."

"That…oh, I never expect that." Almost speechless, Issara couldn't say more.

Looked at her fellow Grey Warden and compare him with the poor king. She thought she found some resemblance between two men. They've similar look and aura. Why she never notice it before?

Alistair scanned her face to find the unpleasant emotion but found none. So, he sighed and continued. "I would have told you, but…it never really meant anything to me. I was inconvenient, a possible threat to Cailan's rule and so they kept me secret. I've never talked about it to anyone." He ran his fingers through his hair awkwardly.

Issara read many books, some tales similar with this. Although she felt angry that he kept it from her, she understood.

"Everyone who knew either resented me for it or…coddled me, even Duncan kept me out of the fighting because of it. I didn't want you to know, as long as possible. I'm sorry." The royal bastard apologized.

Little fist hit him slightly. A little punishment should be acceptable. "Don't worry, I understand. A few hurt because you didn't trust me but…it's fine."

Alistair sighed in relief. "Good. I'm glad. It's not like I got special treatment for it, anyhow."

Still, she didn't please. "Are you sure you don't hide other secret from me?" Issara crossed her arms. Her voice was firm and command.

"Except than my unholy love in cheese and some major passion with my hair? No, I can't think of anything else."

He said with lightly smile, but shorter Warden glared him thoughtfully. It doesn't hard to read his personality. She knew him, Alistair always deflect her question with stupid joke.

Anyway, she didn't know how to break his shield. Perhaps time would help, she should be patient.

"At any rate, that's it. That's what I had to tell you. I thought you should know about it." Still smile, his voice became soft, something that could knot Issara's stomach.

Couldn't control her mouth, she asked without any thinking. "Why tell me, then? Why do I need to know?"

"Because it will probably come up, I didn't want to walk into Redcliffe without you knowing the truth that would be just, awkward."

There's something in his voice, she sensed it.

"And…well, Lillian knew it. I don't know how but she knew it. So I think you should know it as well." He said at last.

From all things she heard from Alistair last night, Issara has sure the Teyrn's daughter wasn't ordinary woman. That one might could see the future or something similar. Their special gifts were almost alike but she luckier for had understanding guardians.

Come to think about it, perhaps they have some special links which explain why she had to use this body or how could she possess it like her own. The problem is: how could she find that answer?

"I wish she is here with us now." She sighed. "Sound like Lillian is sort of Oracle. Maybe she could give me the answers I seek."

"What's Oracle?" Alistair asked.

She won't bother him with the details, so she cut it short. "It's mean…someone who can see the future. In another word, it means the adviser."

He nodded in understanding. "She is…was something like that; always know what she had to do. Unfortunate, she never thinks about the other's feeling."

The self-center princess…Issara didn't surprise. Her experience at Highever told the same thing.

"That doesn't important now, anyhow." The ex-templar smiled sadly. "I just hope her last prophesy won't be true."

"What's that? You're sound…serious about it."

"I'm not exactly understood. She said: One day, a royal beast will come. Good or bad, happy or tragedy, the destiny of mind, Ferelden and a whole world would determined by it. But whatever the result might be, I'll become someone I never want to be in the end."

"A royal beast…" She repeated. "That sound…similar, I think I heard it somewhere."

"I thought it might be the archdemon. It's the leader of darkspawn hoard. He causes the Blight that could destroy all of Ferelden. If that royal beast isn't him, what it could be?" The ex-templar gave his opinion.

"Maybe you're right about that, but I have the feeling…Whatever, I'm curious about last sentence. What's mean: someone you never want to be?" Issara thought about it, and got some answer when she remembered what Alistair just said. "You're the next in line for the throne! That's mean you might…"

Pictured about him on the throne caused her migraine. He doesn't know how to lead and never take any responsibility. What would happen if someone like this rules the country?

"I have no illusions about my status, however." As he might read her mind, the royal bastard refused. "If there's an heir to be found, it's Arl Eamon himself. He's not a royal blood, but he is Cailan's uncle…and more importantly, very popular with the people. Though…if he's really as sick as we're heard…no, I don't want to think about that. I really don't."

"Rumor is always worse than true. Perhaps we should go to Redcliffe first and find out more. Till we meet that Arl, we don't have to discuss about your bloodline." She placed her hand on his shoulder, little palm pressed it firmly like man's hand. "Our journey just start, we must have to face many things unexpected on the road ahead. Let's do our best today better than worry about the unknown tomorrow."

Alistair smiled. His beautiful Warden always knows what to say. "So, now we can move on, and I just pretend you still think I'm some…nobody who was too lucky to die with the rest of the Grey Wardens."

"And what does that make me?" Another Ostagar's survivor retorted frowning.

"The reason I think we have a chance of setting thing right." His voice firmed while he touched her hand.

Her expression changed, Issara said sadly. "Don't place your hope on me, Alistair. I'm not that good. Someday I might do something wrong and break your heart. In the worse case, I might fail and die before we could end the Blight. If that happen, you have to stay strong and take the responsibility."

"Hey! You just said we shouldn't worry about the unknown tomorrow"

"I said it just in case… Thing always go far from my prediction, I can't trust anything easily." Realist woman replied. "I'll do my best, but anything could happen."

"Don't worry. I'll protect you with my life." Alistair almost slapped himself. How could he say that? "I mean…I prefer to follow you. Thus I don't want you to…"

"Alright, I understand." Issara smiled dryly. "You want to keep me alive for you have someone to follow. But can you tell me: What would you do if your leader done something you don't like?"

Alistair gasped, totally speechless.

That's the answer. Even though she didn't please with it, she just clapped his shoulder. "You don't have to say, just think about it. And…oh, thank for the tea."

The ex-templar gazed his leader walked away. She didn't forget to return him a mug and grabbed her towel back. Her scent still linger as her question did.

* * *

Perhaps they both just tsundere. :

Thank to Carve ur heart Out, for beta :D


	10. What a wondeful world

What a wonderful world

First: To save her sister, she made a deal with a demon and was tricked.

Second: She was stuck in weary princess's flesh, which couldn't use any type of sword or wear any armour.

Third: Her temporary family had been murdered. She had to carry on their duty and become a Grey Warden.

Fourth: She and company have been betrayed by a man who held the title 'hero of Ferelden'. He not only had the King and his army killed, but also put a rather large price on the two survivors head's. The Grey Wardens had been blamed for his treachery.

Fifth: For aid of their army against the Blight, she came to Redcliffe but she found the village attacked by walking death. The castle completely shut down, the fates of everyone inside were still unknown.

Things just keep going better and better…What a wonderful world!

"What the fuck…" Issara released her favourite swore, which made the gentlemen, the villagers and Revered mother who stood in the Redcliffe's chantry jumped in shock.

A true noble woman shouldn't curse, but the forge lady was too moody to care. In fact, she wanted to kick something to release her anger. Her Mother may have taught her to control her emotions but many years without that lovely woman had hardened Issara into a harsh being.

"I apologize, Warden." Bann Teagan: the Arl of the Redcliffe's brother said. He didn't know much about the true Lillian, so he doesn't notice the different between the two. "But the village and people are in danger. I need your aid against those walking corpses."

Thinking about the reason that brought her here, she didn't have any choice but to give her service. Issara sighed and said with growl. "This isn't your fault. However, I don't think I can refuse your request. We'll offer what assistance we can."

"Thank you, my lady." He sighed with relief. "This means more to me than you can guess."

"Don't mention it. I have my reason to do this mission. And I think I should start it as soon as I can. Do you have any advice?"

"Murdock and Ser Perth might have something to discuss with you. Murdock is the village's major and Ser Perth is the leader of Redcliffe's knights, at least, those that still remain here. They know the village's status more than anyone." Teagan replied.

"Good, I need to know something before planning the strategy. See you later, then." The Lady Warden bowed and left, followed by her companions.

However, she turned to them as soon as they passed through the gate.

"Let me set things clear." Issara began. "I'm not crazy enough to throw my life away. So, I expect only success in this quest. Whatever might happen tonight, we all have to survive. I'll do my best to make sure of that. But if anyone has a question or doesn't want to joint this party, just say so."

"I am just curious." Morrigan said it first, before Sten could open his mouth. "Why we have to help these useless people? Anything that happens here is not our responsibility."

The leader chuckled. She understood the witch and the Qunari. "Believe me; I prefer not to fight. But we need Arl Eamon's aid against that Blight, which in this situation we can't just knock on castle's gate and ask him for an audience. Only way we can get that is to fight our way to it."

Alistair frowned, not pleased with that answer. She didn't even mention the villagers. His fellow Grey Warden said it emotionlessly, which made her look heartless.

"'Tis reasonable. I am in." The witch said.

Even though Sten might not have agreed, he didn't say anything.

Not surprisingly, the ex-sister was always eager to help the helpless; she didn't have any trouble, same as Lillian's faithful Mabari.

"Ok, now we game. I'll give your duties after I get enough information about this situation. Let's gather them, MOVE!" Although she'd never admit it, sometimes she talked like her father who had enlisted in the royal army for most of his life.

…

Murdock needed assistance from the smith as well as a veteran dwarf fighter but neither of them was willing to help. So, it was up to Issara to convince them. Owen; the blacksmith wasn't hard to handle because all he want was his daughter back. The Warden just swore to rescue his Valena from the Redcliffe's castle and he agreed to fix the villager's gear.

The dwarf on the other hand was difficult, as a woman from another world Issara didn't know much about these tough people. She might have read many tales about them but she still didn't know if the Dwarves in Thedas will be similar with the funny little guys in Tolkien's stories. Bodahn Feddic and his son Sandal: The Dwarves merchants, who followed her company since she saved them from Darkspawn in Lothering, didn't give her much of their people's personas.

However, it was better to be careful. She brought Sten, Alistair and Morrigan along to meet the veteran. The witch told her the Dwarves were resistant to magic but things would different if she set his house on fire.

The door of Dwyn's house was locked, but there was nothing Issara couldn't solve with her utility tools. Just a few minutes later, the crazy inventor broke through little building and faced a dwarf who stood inside with his two mercenaries.

"Who the hell are you to break other's property?" The bearded Dwarf shouted.

Lady Warden just raised her eyebrows and smiled annoyingly. "I'm a Grey Warden, you may call me Lillian but that doesn't matter. I come to ask for your assistance."

The house owner seemed to know what she wanted. "I told Murdock I won't risk my life for them and I won't change my mind."

"What the matter? That sodden door can't keep you safe through the night anyway. Our only chance is standing together, not hiding in the house like a coward." She tried to negotiate.

"I'm not a coward. I just don't want to…Hey, what are you doing?"

Everyone gasped in surprise while the Qunari jumped to the large sword that was hanging on the wall. Sten did it out of his character and touched the sword which started vibrating.

"This is…my Asala. I lost it near Lake Calenhad. How could it be here?"

Not expect that, she was surprised. But then Issara's brain kicked in and she took the chance. The sly one gave Dwyn a very dangerous crooked smile. "Well, well, well…Seems we have more than one thing to discuss."

"You know, the bastard who sold it to me didn't mention the giant he took it from was _alive._" The veteran hurried to say.

"He is _alive_ and obviously wants his…Asala back. And if I were you, I wouldn't deny him." Her accent changed. It was her habit to use accent of mother's language for annoying people. "The Warrior of the Beresaad isn't as patient as he looks, believes me."

"Sod off, I've no fear of your threat!" His voice was shaking though, Dwyn's talk was big.

"Come on, the violence isn't necessary. Just cooperate and everything will be fine." The Lady Grey Warden said with large devilish smile. "Anyway, I'm a business person. I won't just force you to do work or take Asala from you. Perhaps I can offer you something of worth for that."

"What do you have in mind?"

If all Dwarves were greedy like in the tales, she knew what he wanted. "Some coins, perhaps."

The veteran's face changed. "Are you serious?"

"Maybe or maybe not, I just have a few for spending. I'm almost as lacking of gold as my friend is lacking of patience. Just tell me your price and I'll decide the deal."

"One hundred silver and it's a deal." The long bearded Dwarf offered.

But The Lady Warden bargained quickly. "I don't pay more than fifty, this price included beautiful Asala."

Sten's serious expression didn't give Dwyn many choices. He agreed at last. "Fine, hand me those silver and I'll fight. Take that sword if you want."

"See, was that so hard?" The Sly Warden paid him the deal. "See you outside tonight."

When they walked out the house, Alistair whispered to his leader. "You're so cruel."

Her eyes were twinkling with mischief. "Thank you very much."

…

The ex-templar looked at his extraordinary leader, worrying. She was working with her new 'toys' that he was rather sure would be another booming thing. Her devilish smiles always cause his skin to crawl.

Issara poured the oil they found in abandon store into glass bottles, before sealing them with wet rags. Letting the edge of fabric was hanging out almost one palm length.

At last, he couldn't hold his tongue any longer. Alistair asked her curiously. "What are you doing?"

"I'll throw those zombies a cocktail party." She said, more devilish grinning. "With these Molotov cocktails…"

"Molo-What?"

"It's name after a bad man, in honour of his cruel lie. Sort of sarcastic joke if you don't get it. This thing was created for use in the war long time ago. In my time, it quite a poor weapon when compare with the other disaster bombs. But it's still illegal anyway."

"What's kind of world is it that people have created many dangerous bombs? Was your world full of terrible monsters?"

Issara was silent for awhile, his question hit the bottom of her heart. "Well, sort of… My world was full of monsters that enfolded themselves with human skin. Some of them fooled people to fight and die for their nonsense lies. The mother earth has been abused by two big wars. While no world wars have happened in my time, there are still many fights in many places. In some countries, the entire race has been wiped out. When thinking about that, the Blight seems just a tea party."

"You had tough life, I take it." Alistair combed his hair with his fingers and sat near her, seeming awkward. "Sorry about that."

"Nope, those horrible things happened in other countries. My mother land is one of the few peaceful countries in the world. People from different races, religions or classes could live together in peace. Although we had some horrible events that almost destroyed us, we always held faith and hold on together. We might be defeated, but we would come back, stronger than ever." Issara said proudly.

"No doubt, that's why you're so stubborn." He chuckled. "Your people sound wonderful. I like to be there at least once."

"Well, it's in my spirit. One of our wise men said Thai people were like the water; we can change the form, status or temperature but we still are the water. I still am me, no matter where I go or what I've done."

Alistair gazed at her smile. It was so bright and full of something that could lift his spirit high. Issara was so full of the faith and strength he never had. Her hazelnut brown eyes were like a beacon of hope that people could drown in.

However, she was also a daredevil woman who loves to play with destructive toys. The Lady Warden held up one of the hot bottles and said.

"You can play with a cobra if you know how to handle it. These things are tame until someone lights the rag. And if you are holding it in that second, I suggest you to throw it far from yourself or anything you don't want to burn as soon as possible."

"This thing is for setting our foes on fire, then?"

"More than that, it also would explode and shatter everything in the area. In fact, it's created for destroying tanks...heavy war wagons. I'm rather sure it could tear our armour."

The knight swallowed hard. "It could kill me even while I'm in armour?"

The nutty inventor shrugged. "Yep, your armour couldn't stand a chance against my bombs. In my world, the knight in shining armour is no more since the bomb and gun were invented. Well, more than seven hundred years, I think. I'm not so good with details."

He looked at her again and met a grin; her trademark crooked smile looked so dangerous but he couldn't take his eyes off of it.

"Don't worry." His leader said with wider smile. "I never plan to kill you. Unless you don't take care of the Couslands' treasure as you promised."

"Oh…You mean this sword and shield." He pointed the Cousland's sword and shield he carried. Issara place it under his care since Ostagar, so he had had it ever since.

"Of course, what else's I would mean? Lillian's heart, perhaps…"

Alistair gasped.

"I didn't mean to pry but…I saw something; a vision of Lillian's memories, maybe. So, I knew about your relationship. And…well, I'll give her back to you someday if I can. In the mean time, I'll keep her safe from…anything. You have my word." Issara raised her left hand to swear.

"But I'm not…"

"No need to say anything, I understand." She cut him off. "Oh…the sun is going down. Can you go gather everyone for me? We have to plan our strategy."

"All right, I'll go." He replied seriously. "But we need to talk again, after this."

…

'Nothing's impossible.' Someone had said that but she'd always doubted it.

Even when she was looking at cheerful people who were crying with joy of their victory, she didn't dare to believe it. After a long night of terrible fighting, she was still alive, so were her companions.

She knew everything would be fine if she kept trying, but accidents always happen. Leliana got a serious wound, some villagers and buildings were burned by stray strings of Molotov cocktail. Though no one died that night, Issara still felt guilty.

The last walking dead has been slain before sunrise. There was little time to rest and heal the wound, but Issara just couldn't sleep. She checked on the companions to make sure they'd be fine before she left their temporary camp.

On the dock, she sat down legs-crossed and looked to the horizon. And then, she closed her eyes and breathed in steady rhythms, meditating in silence.

Someone's footsteps vibrated on the wood planks. She could sense the movement pass through the air, but also didn't sense any bad will. So, Issara didn't respond.

They sat beside her for awhile, and then lay down on the wood floor. They were staying silent in the quiet morning. No one said anything but didn't feel awkward, the blissful silence just peaceful and precious.

"It's a wonderful world, isn't it?"

Unsure he heard her right; Alistair looked up at his fellow Grey Warden curiously. "What did you just say?"

"The sky is so beautiful, the sunlight is so warm and the air's scent so sweet. Isn't this the wonderful world we fighting for?" Still having closed eyes, Issara spoke calmly.

She'd never know, the whole time she talked, his eyes were locked on her smiling face.

"Once, I wondered why my father had duties in very far and very dangerous places. Why did he and other soldiers have to risk their life for people they never known? Was their sacrifice really worth something?"

"Until one day, terrorists tried to burn our country, so the army had to step forward. And then, when everything was back to normal I realized what they were fighting for. He and our soldiers fight to keep peace, to save wonderful things in the world. Just like what we did last night. Too bad I forgot that until now."

"But not too late, I think." The ex-templar replied dreamily.

She smiled wider, opened her eyes to meet his. "I hope you're right." And then, she began to take off her boots and suit.

Panicked, Alistair jumped to his feet, blushing. "What're you doing?"

Issara chuckled. Although she'd taken the leather jacket off, her sleeveless shirt and leather breeches were still in place. She didn't show anything indecent but the beautiful boy was blushing hard. "Oh, come on. Let's take a swim. This stinky blood is killing me."

Turning back to the lake, she sprang and somersaulted into glittering water. The splash wet everything in the area included Alistair who was smiling in her childish behaviour.

But when she came back to the surface, his smile faded. Issara was wet from head to toe; her honey skin was gleaming in amber light. Big brown eyes, full lips and beautiful cheekbones fit perfectly in her heart-shaped face. Nonetheless, the raven haired woman was too innocent to know how gorgeous she was. She still smiled friendly without noticing his change.

"Beautiful…" He murmured.

Issara didn't hear him, she splashed water to him and invited. "Come on. The water is great for sore muscles."

Her smile was really welcoming; the ex-templar couldn't resist that invitation. He took his tunic off, ready to join the little mermaid.

It was time for Issara's face to turn red. She mentally cursed herself for inviting him. Although she had seen something like this on the media or from men around her on hot days, Alistair's body was still…amazing.

Anyway, all her thoughts had gone when he leaped to the golden lake. The unarmed knight groaned happily while the water cradled his sore muscles like a lovely mother.

"Wow, I never knew how nice this lake is. I lived in the castle for almost ten years but I never swam here."

"Arl Eamon caged you in the castle?" She asked.

"No, he never did that." Alistair refused, eyes still focused at the sky. "I just…well, I felt safer there. Even though I always got myself into trouble, the castle was still…home."

Knowing she didn't do well with words, Issara just touched his shoulder and said. "Home is where your heart is. We both might have no place to call home. But for now, I'm with you."

Alistair smiled, and held her soft hand and kissed it gently. "Thank you. It means a lot to me."

They were staring at each other, sharing a moment of a wonderful morning in the soft waves.


	11. Ordinary Miracle

Ordinary miracle

* * *

"What is a blood mage?" Issara asked.

Morrigan was willing to answer, but the ex-templar said it first. "A blood mage is a mage who employs forbidden rites, originally taught to mortals by demons. And in order to access more powerful magic, he must be willing to sacrifice his life force or others in order to wield this power."

"Is it just me, or do you sound…"The Lady Warden was confused, "Why do they hate it so much?"

"The Chantry bans this school of magic. Anyone who practices it would be hunted and killed, by the templars." The witch snarled.

"And Alistair was a templar, I see." It sounded like the witch-hunts that happen in Europe in the Early Modern period. No doubt, this was the reason why the people never get along.

And that was a big problem for the man in the cell too.

When Issara and her party walked to the dungeon of Redcliffe's castle, she didn't expect to meet any survivors. Her top priority is help Teagan and his brother, after the man had followed lady Isolde; Arl Eamon's wife, who appeared just before they were going to enter the secret tunnel that lead into castle's dungeon.

No matter what anyone said, she distrusted the woman. The whole time they talked, Lady Isolde never met her eyes. Everything she said sounded ridiculous; the girl from the modern world knew that the Arlessa didn't speak the whole truth about the 'evil thing' that caused the horrible events.

However, she did mention the mage which Issara was rather sure was the same man who stood in front of the party now. Even though he didn't claim himself as the blood mage, she still sensed something disgusting around him.

Issara bit her thumb while thought about what he said. She needed a moment for consider the situation. "You said that the Arlessa hired you…to tutor her son. Doesn't that mean that Connor, the Arl's son, is a mage? But his mother doesn't want to let the Chantry know because they will take her only child from her forever. So, she hired you to teach him in secret, which was convenient for you to work as Loghain's assassin."

Everyone gasped, staring at her in surprise.

"What?" Her raven brows knitted. "It's just simple logic. You know, when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains however improbable, must be the truth."

"Yes, but I did it because Teyrn Loghain commanded me. I have nothing to do with the killing and walking dead in this castle." The mage cried. "It happen after I was caged in this cell. People began kill each other, and the dead became the undead. I don't even know what cause it."

"I can think of someone who might know it." Morrigan smirked and glared at their Sherlock.

That was a challenge which Issara was eager to take. "The Arl is sick, which could make anyone panic. Well, especially a young boy who had the power to enter the Fade. I'm rather sure, he made a deal with the demon for his father's life but evil pulled a trick, one that made everything worse." This had become personal to Issara, she was angrier when thought about her stupidity for making the deal with demon before.

The beautiful witch whistled. "How could you know about that?"

Issara opened her mouth to answer, but suddenly understood something. She didn't know about the fade or demons because she came from another world. All the knowledge she had about these came from Lillian.

"_She is still around me, I just can't see her." _The Lady Grey Warden thought.

"Just an assumption, maybe I am wrong." She said less arrogantly.

"Thats possible, the more powerful demons can control bodies." The Blood mage agreed.

However, Issara didn't trust his word. Perhaps he wanted to push the responsibility away from himself. "Jowan, you still are one of the troublemakers. No matter what is the cause of this horror, you have to do something to fix it."

"Hey!" Alistair protested. "He is a blood mage. We can't just set him free."

"He is not royal to his master, he deserve to die." Sten offered.

The leader slapped her forehead. These men really have a straight perspective.

"What's your opinion, Morrigan?" She asked only another woman in the party. Too bad, they had to left Leliana and Rabbit in the camp. The bard might have been able to give her some female perspective.

"He could be useful, indeed. But if you do not need him, I see no reason to keep him here. Just let him go or kill him, 'tis what I think."

"I knew I could rely on you." Issara smiled.

The witch turned away from the older woman. She could handle Issara's grin but this open smile was a different story. It was like a contagious disease. If you're around it too long, you will catch it.

Both men frowned, tried to protest but a slender hand in castes waved to stop them.

"Like it or not, Jowan will come with us." It was a statement, without room for argument.

"Pardon, but I don't think following you to dangerous places is a good idea." Jowan hurriedly said.

"Do you think you have any choice? You said you regret what you have done and want to undo it, but that is impossible if you're still in this cell. And…well, I'm afraid I can't just set you free." Her eyes narrowed, and the melodious tone of her voice lowered. "You know? Although you run from her, you never be alone. There's something…someone that always follow you everywhere. She won't forgive you for your treachery."

The blood mage froze from head to foot.

"I can see… You'd done something horrible back at the Circle of Magi. Two women were left to the Knight-Commander's mercy. One caged and another…oh my…she's dead!"

"Stop…!" Jowan yelled. "Please stop! I'll follow you anywhere, just stop saying that."

Alistair stared his fellow Grey Warden, surprised. When she had said that, she sounded like Lillian.

After holding her head for awhile, Issara was back to her own self and said. "Good, and don't try anything funny. This is your last chance to redeem yourself."

…

Once, Redcliffe's castle was Alistair's home. So, he was their guide. The ex-templar leaded his companion through the dungeon to the castle's main floor. But he found the door in kitchen that could lead to the main hall was closed and impossible to open.

"There's something sealing on the other side of the door." Sten said after knocking on it.

"We shall find another way." The little leader commanded and started to walk.

Alas, she fell to her feet after just a few steps later. Alistair leaped forward to support her before her slender body fell to the stone floor.

Everyone stared at the blood mage, he hurriedly denied his guilt. "I'm done nothing! I swear."

Issara looked pale. Sweats beads were dazzling on her honey skin. However, she was still conscious. "It isn't him, I just… Something bad is around here, and it tried to hurt me."

"Then…I have to tell you." Morrigan sighed. "Lillian was a mage; some demon might try to possess you. And the Fade around here is so thin, 'tis a good place to break your spirit."

"Are you kidding? I was there when they tested her but she didn't show any signs. Lillian can't be a mage." The former templar protested.

Issara smiled, she realized that nonetheless. "Ah… I see. That makes sense. Now I know why I can't wear any armour. Unlucky, I can't use any spells either."

"I can teach you some, but not now." The witch offered.

Alistair frowned. "Like that is going to happen, I won't let her learn anything from an apostate like you."

"Or you are willing to give her to the Circle? They will cage her in that tower for the rest of her life." Morrigan challenged him.

Anyhow, Sten who was listening couldn't hold his tongue any longer. He interfaced with them. "Shall we let her lead us if she is a mage? The qunari don't trust mages. In Beresaad, we cut the mage's tongue and treat them like animals."

"This has nothing to do with my leadership, Sten." The new found mage rejected the knight's help and tried to stand. "I'm still able to lead. If you don't like that, you're free to go."

The warrior eyed her quietly. She glared back, harsh and fierce.

At last, Sten yielded. "I swore to follow you. So, you are my leader…for now."

Issara just smiled. There was another thing she had to ponder. "I think I can handle that demon for now. But if I fail…you must do anything you have to." She told the ex-templar.

"No." Alistair rejected. "You won't fail."

Something in his eyes calmed her down, The Lady Warden smiled. "Well, let's go. We've wasted enough time."

…

She could remember the first time she confronted a demon. It tried to take over her body, but no one believed her, even her father. Fortunately, those shadows would fade away when her mother was around. So, she always stuck with her mother. Until her grandfather gave her something to protect herself.

After that, the demons or ghosts couldn't touch her anymore. The decades of peace had passed and she just simply forgot.

However, those spells and abilities had never completely gone. When it revived, she surprised even Morrigan. Well, not to say she was able to spit out a fire ball or cone of cold like the witch could. She could resist physical damage and negate any spell the dead tried to cast on her.

They fought their way to the Courtyard and opened the main gates for Ser Perth and his fellow knights. After some exercise with a Revenant and his minions, the weary Warden led everyone to main hall. And there, they met the truth.

The dancing noble man must have been the most ridiculous thing Issara had ever seen, but that didn't distract her from the boy who was clapping his hands in joy. He was watching the show from in front of large fireplace. Near him were a group of guards and Lady Isolde.

Two raven haired women exchanged their glare in understanding. They knew this wasn't going to end well.

Anyway, when the party came close, Bann Teagan stopped and sat on the ground near the boy like a dog, smiling. That brought the boy's attention to the Wardens and their gang.

The boy narrowed his eyes; he seemed surprised but still arrogant. "What is this mother? I can't see clearly."

But The Lady Grey Warden chuckled. "What's the bother, demon? We know each other; I find it quite boring to play a game I can guess the ending of. It's just a waste my time."

Connor had quiet for awhile but the Arlessa leaped forward to protect him. "Please, this isn't what you think."

"And I danced Cha-Cha with Alistair. Oh, please Lady. I know every mother loves her child but this is too much. So many good people have died and many children lost their parents out there because of the demon that is standing behind you."

Sometimes you have to become a wicked witch to finish your job. Issara fought with the Arlessa, face to face.

"No. That isn't his fault. It's because of that apostate." Lady Isolde pointed at Jowan. "He poisoned Eamon, he caused everything."

"I did poison him but didn't cause this madness, milady." The Blood mage disputed.

"Enough!" Issara shouted. "I didn't kill those zombies and drag myself through a sodden dungeon to listen to your pointless argument. I'm here to stop this madness and I won't give a damn if I have to kill a bubblehead lady or a stupid mage to make it done."

Alistair gasped. He tried to step forward but the qunari and witch who were looking at their leader admiringly stood in his way.

"The ruler's wife is a mother of her people, which means you have to care about them. Those lives could be saved if you didn't try to keep Connor. And now everything is out of your hands, I have no choice but kill him." Issara grabbed her blade and stepped forward.

But the possessed boy just smiled. Issara paused just in time while the fire blasted, the crash spread in small radius causing everyone to fall to the floor. Smoke and fire blinded their eyes for awhile. In the short chaos, someone laughed aloud.

"You mortals always talk too much."

After an hour or so, Alistair opened his eyes to saw the disorderly hall. Sten helped him stand while he instinctively looked for his leader and found her collapsed above Isolde. Her slender body covered the Arlessa who stood nearest with the boy so she took more damage than anyone.

Morrigan woke her up, and then they talked about something he couldn't hear.

"Where is that demon?" The qunari asked.

"That's easy to tell." Issara pointed at the trail of footsteps on black stone tiles. It lead to a door that could bring the passenger to second floor. The back of her leather jacket was torn and her skin in that area reddened. Anyhow, the impatient woman was still conscious.

The ex-templar knew she would find Connor and kill him. Alistair couldn't let her do that. He stepped forward to hold her little wrist, which stopped her from following the trail.

"Please, don't do that. He is just a boy."

Sighing deeply, she looked in his eyes and said. "Then, give me another option."

The knight was speechless for a moment. "I don't know. But it might be that there's another solution to kill that demon without hurting Connor. We can't slaughter a boy."

Issara chuckled. "Well, perhaps we should ask a professional. Morrigan, do you know how to chase the demon from the human boy who has been possessed?"

The witch bit her bottom lip. She didn't know, but she couldn't admit it.

Anyway, Lady Isolde and Bann Teagan slowly awoke. Everyone that fell to demon's power came back to their consciousness. No one got hurt more than simple bruises and scratches.

It's seemed the Arl's brother had heard their conversation. He helped his sister-in-law stand and talked to the companions. "I apologize for my foolishness. I intended to stop Connor, but I just…"

Issara waved her hand. "No need to mention that. Our urgent problem is Connor. We need to kill that demon but killing the child is too cruel for someone."

Lady Isolde followed Warden's glare and found a very serious Alistair. The guilt of her past shamed her; Arlessa couldn't look in his eyes.

"I don't like that idea either. But if we have no choice…" Teagan said. He seemed sad, though still reasonable.

Biting her lip, Issara felt her heart ache. She never wanted to kill anyone, child or no. But if the innocent's blood had to stain anyone's hands, it must be hers. The leader must do anything to complete jobs, even if they might be too cruel to bear.

"He is still can be saved." Someone offered.

Everyone turned to the voice. The blood mage was standing in front of them, looking uncomfortable. However, he kept talking. "Physically, the demon isn't inside him. You can enter the fade and confront the demon there, without harming the boy."

"Really...? Can you do that?" Lady Isolde hurried to ask.

"How can you do that?" She didn't trust the man, but she wouldn't pull any hope away. Issara crossed her arms, asking with all seriousness.

"In an ordinary case, we need several mages and lot of Lyrium. But…I am a blood mage."

"What makes that special?"

"I could perform the ritual right here with blood magic. But it would require a great amount of life energy." He paused. "All of it, in fact."

Everyone was shocked. The only sound in the room was Alistair's moaning.

"No, this can't be. Two wrongs can't make a right."

Issara didn't hear him, she was thinking while Arlessa made her decision.

"Then, that must be me. I will sacrifice my life if that could save my boy."

"Isolde…!" Teagan shouted. "You can't do that. Eamon would object were he here."

"He will understand. This is my fault and I have to take responsibility." She almost cried but still said firmly. "The Warden's right. If I wasn't so selfish, many good people would still be alive."

However, Issara didn't listen to them. Her brain kicked some idea in and she asked Jowan about it. "Wait a minute. Does it have to be blood from one person?"

The mages blinked. None of them ever thought about it.

"I don't know but…it isn't necessary, maybe."

"Humans can lose some small amounts of blood and still live. So, Lady Isolde and I will be the donators. With that, no one has to die." Issara declared. And before Alistair could argue, she knocked him out.

…

For someone who was trained to be a templar, he was never knocked by a woman. To be specific, he was never knocked by a woman's fist. More than that, he didn't understand why she had to do such a thing. Did she hate him so much?

He wanted to find out, but when he woke up with terrible headache, he found Sten carrying their unconscious leader to the guest's bedchamber. Her left wrist coiled with some bandages.

"What's happened to her?" Without thinking, he asked and followed them into the room.

"She cut herself for…donated blood." The qunari replied after placing her little frame on the large bed. "I don't agree with the ritual but…I respect her for having done that."

"But this is maddening. We shouldn't use blood magic. It's…"

Sten stopped him. "She is sleeping, do not make noise." And then, he dragged the former templar out. The door closed behind them.

When they're in the long hallway, giant warrior said calmly. "You were lucky. She knocked you out, so you did not have to see what I saw."

"What do you mean?"

Alistair thought this was certainly the first time he saw the qunari show any emotion. Sten sighed deeply, almost looking sad.

"I, for one, am a warrior. I've fought and wounded so many times. But…looking at the girl cut her wrist… She writhed with pain, almost falling to the floor. But she gnashed her teeth to suppress the scream, is made me feel…"

Just thought made him sick, the Warden didn't want to hear the rest. "All right, I get the idea. Anyhow, should we leave her like this? She and Lady Isolde need a healer."

"The healer already did his job. Kadan ordered one of the knights to bring him from the village before the ritual began. This one acts insane sometimes but she does not want to die. In fact, I think she understands the need to live more than anyone I've ever known."

Alistair thought about it. Since they had met, Issara always had hope. Even on top of tower of Ishal, when they were betrayed. The darkspawn were surrounding them, there was no way out but she still tried to find one. She always smiled even when death aimed its claws at her neck.

She was one of those stubborn people who always had faith even in the hard times. Who could blame her for being so hopeful?

And don't forget her different perspective. She could find a way to solve any problem, even after everyone else completely gives up. In the end, the ex-templar found he couldn't be mad at her.

"She is a miracle." Alistair sighed in relief.

The qunari just nodded, quite understanding. However, the Warden knew. Miracles were ordinary as long as Issara was with him.

* * *

Truly, I always wonders why they have to sacrifice someone when still have this solution. I don't think the ritual would demand same blood type or other requirement like the surgery.

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta. :)


	12. Jump then fall

Jump Then Fall

* * *

Redcliffe had been saved. There were no more walking dead in moonless nights.

However, Arl Eamon was still unconscious. Lady Isolde had fully recovered in a day after the ritual, but Issara wasn't that lucky. She lost more blood than the Arlessa, and Lillian's body was weaker than she'd thought.

Her companions were waiting and worrying; even Morrigan seemed down when looking at the pale leader. Two days had passed, but the Lady Warden was still in a deep sleep. Leliana had to take care of her in those days.

Alistair couldn't sleep. Time was passing slowly while so many bad thoughts ran in his mind. They were the last two Grey Wardens in Ferelden, what would happen if she were gone? He didn't think he could go through this Blight without his beacon of hope. It was just a few week after Ostagar, but they'd gone through so many things together. The Only thing that had carried him this far was her smiles.

He didn't know how long he sat in the chapel, praying to the Maker. It was possibly very late when his stomach demanded filling.

He couldn't deny the command. So the Warden sneaked to the kitchen. He found a wheel of cheese in one of those cabinets and was going to cut it, while he sensed something was moving behind the larder's door.

Having not thought to bring any weapons with him, Alistair grabbed a chef's knife from its shelf before sneaking to the door. Slowly he opened it to see what was inside.

There was a shrilly voice of woman, that swore something he didn't understand before covering her mouth with her hands. Light from a candle in the small room revealed the red face of the cutely thief, who was caught red-handed.

She suddenly swallowed what was in her mouth, which cause her choked. Alistair hurried ran to her back side, using his hands to exert pressure on the bottom of the diaphragm. He pulled his hands that cause her body jump up and down until Issara commanded him to stop.

"Thank for your help." She said wearied, "But if you don't mind, please gets your hands off of my breasts."

Bashfully, the Templar/Warden instantly released her. The little one was still weary, but she chuckled.

"I apologize." Alistair said with red cheeks.

"It's alright. Accidents happen. Just don't tell anyone." She said and folded a shawl between her almost bare shoulders. Leliana had dressed her with a white nightgown, something she hadn't worn for long and still felt unfamiliar.

The ex-templar couldn't hold his grin. In this lovely lace dress, Issara looked feminine. This was a rare and pleasant time because she always wore men's clothes or her leather suit.

However, the most important thing was her condition. "No one told me you awoke, and you're wearing a nightgown, I think you just got up from your bed, am I right?" He asked worrying. "If you're hungry, you should tell Leliana or someone to take dinner to your bedchamber. Walking in the night alone isn't…"

"Oh, please. I'm not a child." But she moaned like one. "I just woke up and I saw Leliana sleeping on the couch. She seemed tired, so I don't want to disturb her."

When she gave him those stubborn eyes, Alistair really couldn't resist. "All right, I get it. Perhaps I shall cook you something if you didn't wolf everything in the larder down."

With red face, Issara smacked him rapidly. "Shut up! Lots of food is good for anyone who just loss a lot of blood, you know?"

He couldn't stop laughing. Alistair tried to defend himself by holding her smaller frame tightly. After some defiance, she stopped and rested her hot cheek on his broad chest. Every time she was there, she felt safe.

More than the good time she had spent with the Couslands, this man was the most precious thing she'd found in this world. His laugh was the best sound she'd ever heard. However, her heart almost stopped beating when Alistair touched her cheek with his fingers. His eyes, and his touch were so soft, she'd never felt like this before.

Because of her father's treachery, Issara never let any man near her, both her physical body and her heart. But it seemed this stupid templar had already stepped in her forbidden garden.

As fast as she could, the girl from another world shoved herself off him. "I-I think I shall clean this mess. The chef would be mad if he found this in the morning."

"I'll help." He offered.

Then, they worked together. Everything was finished after a half hour of cleaning and bantering. Alistair wasn't the quiet type and Issara never let him beat her, after all.

"Are you still hungry?" The ex-templar asked after they finished the job.

The inventor stroked her tummy. "Well, I'm not full yet. But those buns and butter are really oleaginous, I'm rather sure it will kill me if I eat it too much."

A honey-brown eyebrow was cocked in mockery, and almost made her hit him again.

"Really, my motherland's foods are less fattening and much spicier, most of it cooks with herbs that are tasty, and healthy. In different regions of our country, there are many menus that are different and sometimes rare to find. Some ingredients have different tastes if it grows in different soil and…" She paused.

"What's wrong? I was enjoying listen your story. Why stop?" Alistair asked while adsorbed by her sad face.

Issara sniffed. "I'm homesick."

Truly, this woman was really unpredictable. One minute she was laughing but then would change in another minute. The ex-templar didn't know what he should do or say to lift her mood up. Luckily, she came to her self as soon as she grimaced.

"I'm sorry for losing myself. I just…I'd never left my motherland. Oh, I miss her so much."

When her quest was done, she would go back to her world. That fact hurt his heart. "You really want to go back?" He asked without thinking.

"Of course, I was born, grew and lived in her embrace. And if there's nothing wrong, I will go back to her someday." Issara talked about her homeland fondly as always, but she paused when saw his hurt-puppy eyes. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Alistair refused. He didn't want her to think about him as a pathetic man.

He lied and she knew it. More than that, she knew his answer but didn't want to hear it. Two decades and five years toughed her to live in the real world, some words shouldn't be said if they couldn't be possible.

"Well, I see a wheel of cheese. Maybe I shall try some before going back to rest." Issara changed the subject.

"But I thought you didn't like that. Back at Ostagar, I gave it to you but you refused."

"I need something to eat with it and…Ta-dah…" She grabbed a black bottle from lower cabinet and showed it to him. "I found this while we clean the kitchen. Let's see. 'Red Rose of Highever, made in 9:05'… How old is it?"

"It made in same year you…Lillian was born, twenty five years." Alistair said dryly, it seemed that he didn't want to say that name.

That name stung her heart too, but Issara tried to think of it as little as she could. This is a precious time, very hard to find, better not ruin it. "Oh…that, so old. I wonder if it still edible."

"There's only way to find out." He grabbed a corkscrew.

A devilish smile appeared on left corner of her lips. "You open the bottle, and I'll find plates and glasses."

…

It was hard to say if this was good or bad circumstances. The red wine they found wasn't weak, but it had higher fractions of alcohol. Just half of bottle and they lost their shit completely, both talking and laughing together on kitchen's floor, all pretences gone.

Anyway, Issara had a big meal before, which made her handle the alcohol better than her friend. She sobered enough to remember everything Alistair said about his life and Lillian. Truth be told, she didn't like it as much of it as she expected.

"I didn't want to follow her command anymore, so I said "I locked myself in this cell with my own purpose. And I don't want any of your instructions." Then, Lillian frowned and said "Fine, as you wish, my prince." And she left me in the dungeon alone—Alone-think about that!"

"What happen after that?" Issara asked, even though she wasn't really interest in his story. The more she knew about them, the more her heart ached.

"At first, it seemed funny but then noon passed and I became hungry. I couldn't open the door, so I had to cry for help until my throat dried. Luckily, one of the guards found me before I passed out." Alistair hiccupped. He lost his mind and spoke everything without thinking. "Lillian left me there and didn't tell anyone. It kept us apart, ever since then."

"But…" What about the vision she saw? It was clear that they were…joined at the hips.

She didn't know she said it out loud until the ex-templar replied. "What…No! Lillian and I never…we're friends, even her…I shouldn't say that."

"Should I believe you?" Issara grumbled. "You must not be a real man if you didn't…take what Lillian offered."

His expression changed. "I'm a man. But I refused it because I don't think about Lillian like _that_. The only woman who's captured my interest is you."

Issara was shocked, and tensed from head to foot. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming.

"You're a lioness, temperamental and unpredictable. You and your attitude always drive me crazy." He leaned closer, too close for her liking. "Maker's blood! Do you even realize what you've done to me, woman?"

Was that a riddle or something? She didn't understand, but was rather sure that it was her time to leave. "I should go."

In Thai, booze had a nickname; _'change-habit potion'_ because people who were drunk would change from whom they always are. Alistair wasn't any different than the others; he became another person that Issara didn't know. The ex-stable boy held the little lady tight, his eyes drinking her in.

"By the Maker, you're…so beautiful."

'_Oh, shit…This can't be good!' _She thought and tried to push him off. However, the knight was stronger than she thought. Alistair didn't release her from the hot trap. The only thing she could do was shouted. "This isn't funny, get off me now!"

Alas, he didn't listen and still leaned closer. The frightened lady could do nothing but close her eyes and turn her face away. But she couldn't hide from him for long, his hand was steady and firm while it fondled her chin to face him.

His lips touched her forehead and traveled downward to her eyelids, gentle and chaste. Issara couldn't resist the warm breath that touched her lips, followed by another pair of lips.

Going to melt, she felt like every bone in her…Lillian's body had gone. She couldn't think about resistance or even sitting still. She fell to his embrace yieldingly, and allowed his tongue to explore her untouched mouth.

As someone who was inexperience, she'd never been kissed. Alistair brought her higher than she ever let herself imagine. When he allowed her to breathe, the entire world was dazing.

"I am a lucky man…" The knight murmured.

With the rest of the thoughts she possessed, Issara pushed his large frame off her. Her ruby lips were swelling while she ran from him.

…

I painted the picture of Issara and upload it to Deviant art. If you want to know how she looks like, you could follow this link. http:/ mitimai .deviant art. com /art /Water-lily- 174054200, just delete the space.

Last but not least: Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta.


	13. On our way

On our way

* * *

Three days after the leader woke up, the long journey continued again. For their next destination, Issara had asked for her companion's vote and they agreed to go to the circle of magi first. Although no one admitted it, they were worried about her hidden gift.

In the morning as they were leaving Redcliffe, Lady Isolde went to the Lady Grey Warden's bedchamber. The guest was dressing but let her in.

"Good morning, Lady Isolde. What brings you here?" The Warden greeted her.

The other woman seemed pale, even though the younger one didn't show any unpleasant attitudes toward her; she knew they couldn't be friends after everything she had done. "I heard you and your companion will go to the Circle's tower."

Truth be told, Issara didn't like this one. However, her mother had taught her well enough to control her manners. "Yes, we will. We have some…urgent business with the mages. But you don't have to worry. I'll begin the quest for sacred ashes as soon as I am able."

"How could you…?" Isolde gasped.

Still buckling her metal boots, the girl from another world didn't concern herself with the Arlessa's hanging jaw. "It's simple. In Lothering, I met Ser Donall; one of the knights you sent out. He told me about his quest, which gave me a picture about…many things. Now, even though the demon is gone, the Arl is still unconscious. And I'm sure you still think Andraste's remains could cure your husband but the problem is: no one has found it yet. Who else would you ask to search for it? The answer is me, yes?"

Isolde glared the Grey Warden, speechless.

"I know you've tried to find the words to convince me. Save it, I don't have time listen to that." Truly, sometimes she was really surprised at how cold-blooded she could be. She understood the Lady's feeling but she just didn't care.

Already dressed and armed with a newly repaired leather suit and a variety of weapons, Issara grabbed her backpack but Lady Isolde stopped her.

"I come to apologize and appreciate you." She saluted younger woman. "You helped my son and me, even though you could have been killed. I know you willingly sacrificed your blood as much as you could to spare me. We won't forget this."

Blood was rushing to her cheeks, Issara felt embarrassed. Her hands waved in air confusedly. "I-I just did what I thought I should. Don't mention it."

"I can't repay you properly now. But I will someday, you have my word." Lady Isolde picked a silver thing from her pocket. She gazed at it and frowned for awhile, and then gave it to the younger woman. "This amulet use to belong to Alistair's mother, he smashed it to the wall in the day he knew we would send him to the Chantry. Eamon corrected those pieces and repaired it. He might've meant to give it back to the boy someday."

"But…why do you have it?"

Lady Isolde frowned sadly. "I was…jealous, so I stole and hid it. When I found out Alistair had protected my boy, I realized how cruel I was. Then…I've meant to give it back to him but I can't go to him and tell him the truth. Can you…?"

Issara didn't think she could judge anyone's actions. Thus she wasn't able to blame the older woman for having done terrible things to Alistair. "Don't worry. I'll make sure he gets it."

"Thank you, I owe you again."

"It's nothing. I'm glad to help." The Grey Warden refused with small smile, trying her best to not look displeased.

Since Alistair and she had shared the kiss, they hadn't said a word to each other nor even met their eyes. Well, he'd tried to apologize but Issara didn't listen. She had to concentrate on her work, to repair her suit and modified weapons. The other problems had to wait. But it seemed she had to talk to him now.

However, just walk to him didn't sound like a good idea. She needed a better alternative. Perhaps she could find one on their way to the tower.

Without any more thought, Issara held the silver amulet in one hand and unconsciously opened her inner sight. Some blurred visions ran through her mind, the only one clear enough to understand was a crying woman…an elf woman?

"_Congratulation, you just put another problem on your head, great job Miss Ice."_ She thought sarcastically.

…

The Grey wardens and party walked on the road for several hours. Lunch time was coming, but the leader didn't stop walking. She lead the group in the far distance, no one could catch up with her except Rabbit. The companions couldn't ask her for rest unless they could speak to her.

"Perhaps you should shoot our fearless leader to stop her from running." The witch snarled to the bard. "We ought to rest, at least for awhile."

"I didn't know you were that weak, Morrigan." The ex-templar jested.

"I am not. But Lillian has just barely recovered. She should not overdo it." Morrigan hissed, though she'd probably said it only to protect herself.

Alistair found he agreed with the apostate for the first time. Though Issara was a Grey Warden and her… Lillian's body could recover from wounds faster than ordinary people's; it didn't mean she could lose a lot of blood and still go on as if nothing had happened. Instead of decent rest, she spent her three days after awaking repairing her gear. And now she was walking non-stop on the rough road, which could torture even a healthy man like him. This couldn't be good.

"I can see your point. But Maker's blood, how could you suggest to Leliana to shoot Iss…Lillian? I thought you got along so well."

Issara always enjoyed teasing him and Morrigan was her backup. They'd become friends fast even though both were different in many ways.

"Just one shot in the leg can not kill Grey Warden, am I right?" She grinned. "And I do know something you do not. No arrow can do harm to her."

The ex-templar frowned. He didn't like the idea of someone knowing his fellow Grey Warden better than him, especially this sharp-tongued witch. "What do you mean?"

"It is magic, really. Her magic is different from mine, 'tis not for killing, but for protecting. And if I am right, she is able to walk so fast like that because she is using her magic."

Disbelieving, Alistair provoked. "She can do something you can't?"

Morrigan growled. "Her magic is exotic. 'Tis something I need time to learn if should so I want to."

However, Leliana who was walking between the quarrellers couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, Maker... Can you two stop shouting, or at least stop shouting into my ears? This is really…amateur."

"He/She started it." They shouted in unison, pointing a finger to each other.

The bard rolled her eyes. "All right, whatever you say. I'll go to Lillian and ask her if we can stop walking for lunch."

"I think I ought to do that." Alistair offered.

"I don't think so. You're wearing full plate, Alistair. How could you run fast enough to catch up with her?" The bard protested.

He looked forward at their subject. Issara still was strolling easefully in the same distant and speed but that didn't mean he could easily to catch up to her. Especially when he was wearing heavy armour but she was wearing a light and dexterous suit. Her leather breeches didn't fit very tight but it fit enough to show her marvellous curves. Her majestic walk just made those swaying hips more attractive.

Shook his head as if toss his dirty thoughts away, the ex-templar finally agreed with the ex-lay sister. "You're right."

Anyways, Leliana didn't need his permission. She chased after the fearless leader before Alistair had time to say anything. After a few minutes, she found it impossible to do. No matter how fast she ran, their distance never changed. At last, she has to shout Lillian's name.

Issara still wasn't used to that name. The bard called her for her several times before she realized that was her temporary appellation. Eventually, the exotic girl stopped walking and waited for her follower.

"What's wrong, Leliana?" The taller woman asked.

Leliana leaned on the Warden, gasping for air. She needed a minute before she stopped panting. "Maker, how could you walk so fast…and without sweating?"

"Oh, sorry 'bout that." Issara chuckled while helped the redhead stand. "I just remembered some spell I had learned a long time ago. To make sure it still worked, I used it to quicken our travels but forgot to tell you all. Sorry."

"Where did you learn that? They don't train mages outside the tower, the Chantry doesn't allow that."

How could she explain that? Perhaps they'd better change the topic. "Why did you run after me? Is there anything wrong?"

"Not really, I'm just bored. Morrigan and Alistair are biting each other, so I thought I'd better run off." The bard said playfully. She knew her leader was upset about her question so she played along.

"Well, it's almost lunch time, they might be hungry. I hope that tavern has something to feed them."

"Tavern…?" Leliana repeated.

Issara pointed to the lake that she could see from the where they stood. "If I'm correct, that must be the mage's tower." She handed the bard a telescope. "Look through this. You will see a tavern near the dock. Let's walk for a bit and we'll eat something decent there."

The ex-sister knew more than she let on. "Oh, I know what this is. It's calls spyglass. The soldiers use it to look to very far places, but I've never seen one in Ferelden."

"I heard about that too. But believe me, mine is better."

Because she didn't have her laptop and useful programs for designing and producing her inventions as she usually did, she'd had to design it manually. Although sometimes she did something wrong and the results were different than her expected ones, most of these still worked just fine. However, after she had helped Owen, the blacksmith at Redcliffe village, he was glad to help because she'd rescued his daughter; with the assistant, things were just easier and smoother.

Three days she had to make new equipment, she didn't waste a moment. Anyway, she preferred not to use killing tools. She never wanted to destroy any form of life.

"_Life is complicated, unpredictable and important."_ Her father had said a long time ago. _"But I would throw it away, if only I could save the one I love."_

"For the nation, religions, king and people…" She whispered the Royal Thai army's motto, Issara really missed the man who took this vow and was now gone.

He was a real gentleman, funny, smart and so strong. Even though she had hated him, he always was her hero. She wouldn't fall in love with any man who was worse than him.

"Hey, what're you doing?" Alistair said. The rest of the party had arrived at last.

Issara shuddered. He was too close; his warmth reminded her of his kiss. It might have been a while since that night but she was still pissed. This thief stole her first kiss (well, this was Lillian's body but she was the one who felt it) when they sat on the kitchen's floor, surrounded by cheeses, wine and other messy things. There was nothing romantic like she'd dreamt of. How dare he?

Anyway, the ex-templar didn't know or just didn't care. He gazed forward and swore. "Maker… That is the tower! But it's too far from Redcliffe for just one day of traveling. How could we…?"

"Magic, indeed." Morrigan smirked.

Automatically, Alistair looked at the exotic mage but she was talking to Sten. The qunari seemed confused but still calm.

"Yes, I remember this place; it is here my brothers and I set the camp before the darkspawn ambushed us. But why did you ask?"

"The scavengers ransacked their corpses for their remainders, but I don't think those vultures would give them any respect. We should find them and give them a proper funeral." The little leader answered seriously.

His expression didn't change, but his eyes seemed upset. "Why..?"

As always, Issara smiled. "The dead don't mind if anything happens to their shell. The funeral is about the people who they left behind. They were your followers, Sten. Even though their deaths weren't your fault, your chest will be lighter if you manage to give them a last respect."

Like a miracle, the companions saw that the giant warrior was shaking like he was trying to conceal his feelings. When Sten spoke again, his voice cracked.

"How could you know?"

The lieutenant's daughter just smiled and clapped his shoulder. Some words didn't have to be spoken aloud, and she knew it. There was some understanding between them, the warrior nodded and guided the Lady Grey Warden to his now destroyed camp.

…

Sten poured his brothers' ashes into Lake Calenhad. Their remainders floated on the surface for awhile before drifting away in the stream. Issara suggested him to do that, she said it would send them back home. The river would bring them to the sea; the origin of all life. He doesn't known if she was right or not, but he knew that it brought him a great relief.

The darkspawn hadn't killed him, but he never fully recovered. At first, he thought it might have been because he lost his Asala. But even though Kadan had brought it back for him, he still felt hollow inside. Now, while he looked those ashes disappeared, he felt that hole was filling. Not yet full, but it would be someday.

Not far from the qunari, Morrigan was watching him curiously. She was obviously fidgeting and Lady Warden knew what was in her mind.

"You're thinking this is just a waste of our time, right?" Issara said, no louder than a whisper.

The witch snarled. "No, I think 'twill be a great party. Light a pyre, make a lot of smoke and fire then invite every darkspawn around here."

"You're sounding like Alistair." Issara chuckled, making the younger woman frown. "Anyhow, this is important for Sten. He took a vow to follow me, I couldn't ignore his problem. I won't leave my followers to wallow in their problems. That is what a leader is."

"Even if I had deadly task to solve, you would help me?"

"Why's not? You're my friend. What's kind of person I am if I don't help you?" The Lady Grey Warden still smiled.

"Friend…" Morrigan repeated. She wasn't used to this word.

Once, the apostate talked about something _'touching'_ that had made her feel uncomfortable. So, Issara understood that question well. "Yup, we're friends: People who get along even though they're different in many ways. I don't care about what you are. You and I trust each other, which is all that is important to me."

Confused, the witch gazed at the leader speechless. The other woman just clapped her arm and said.

"Let's have lunch. Sten needs sometime for himself; we should find something to do in the mean time."

…

Burn the corpse and float the ash in the river or sea is Thai's Buddhist tradition. I think we received it from India; the same place we got Buddhism. (In fact, we won't burn some kind of corpse. I'm not sure why.) Some said is the way to send them back to the mother earth, while some said they would meet the other spirits at the sea. However, the afterlife is surely mystery for all of us. Truly, I, for one, am not eager to find the answer in the near future.

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta. :)


	14. Some enchanted evening

Some enchanted evening

* * *

Just like most of her people, Issara was friendly, playful and kind. She always smiled and shined… unless someone makes her angry.

There was something bad happening in the mage's tower. The old oarsman was removed from his job and replaced by a young templar who wasn't mindful of his own tongue. His words annoyed the Lady Warden beyond toleration. However, she didn't complain. She just narrowed her eyes and hit his chin with her 'fist of fury'. The poor young man was passing out while Issara convinced the old man to take the party across the lake. With politeness and respect she always showed to elders, the kind man followed her request willingly.

Anyway, the small boat couldn't carry them all. The leader had to choose her followers carefully.

A powerful mage was always nice to have along, but the tower was full of templars. Morrigan was an apostate to them and her attitude wouldn't make anything better. So, she has to leave the witch here.

Sten's muscles were good if she wanted to fight with a large group of warriors but his attitude toward the mages could be problematic. He'd better waited here with Morrigan.

Rabbit was faithful and brave, plus he had no problem with anyone who was friendly to him and his mistress. The Mabari would be excellent choice if it weren't for his fear of the water. The oarsman told her about something awful that lived in the lake. She didn't want to have to swim because Rabbit had gone mad and sank the boat. It was sad but he had to stay here.

Well, having Alistair and Leliana with her wasn't such a bad thing but it's not exactly warming to the heart. Issara loved to make sure everything would be fine. If she couldn't have trustable muscle, she would need some trustable tools. It's good to have a revolver .357 Magnum along.

True be told, making a gun wasn't so hard unless she want to make more complex gunfire like submachine gun. For making a pistol, a cunning gun-maker needs only a piece of wood and metal parts which could be easily made with Ferelden's technology, though the result wasn't as good as the factory's product. In just two days, she could make a new model that contained more bullets and less recoil. The real problem was the bullet, she had limited gunpowder and it's hard to make a lot of same size shells while she didn't have the proper tools.

Better save it for deadly times, her wit was her most powerful weapon anyway.

Then, they arrived at the tower at last. And as soon as Issara stepped on the dirt shore, she felt a pressure on her shoulders. She almost fell to the ground but Alistair helped her stand.

"They've enchanted this area to prevent the mages from escaping." He told her.

"Well, thanks for the information. But I still wonder…"

The ex-templar cocked his eyebrow, eyeing the new-found mage. Her expression was really serious. "If anyone shows signs, the Chantry will take them from their family no matter what their family's rank is, right? How could Lillian stay out of their hands all this time?"

"I honestly don't know. But she is…was a smart one, I bet she used her talent to keep her freedom."

That's reasonable. If she were Lillian she would do the same. As a Thai woman, she was independent to the core. She would do anything in her power to live free or die trying; it was better than enslavement. Such stupid rules can't hold her down.

"Umm…That might be unimportant now. What I'm worrying is: what if they find my gift?"

"They can do nothing. You're a Grey Warden, they can't touch you." Alistair guaranteed. "Even they try, I won't let it happen."

They were walking to the large metal door. The two Wardens were side by side, she couldn't hide her pink cheeks from his tender eyes. All she could do to conceal her embarrassment was laugh.

"If they try, I will blow up this tower. And they will regret trying to keep me here."

"I never doubted that. You're a little crazy bomber-woman. You always know how to blow things up, even my mind." He said, half joke half serious.

"Good to know." If there was something mutual between them, it must be a silly sense of humour.

However, when she stepped on stone ladder those lead to the tower, all the pressure had gone. Issara saw similar ghost visage around her. They're screaming, crying with something worse than pain.

She couldn't hear them, but their mouths moved like they were saying something.

She wasn't sure what really happen, but she knew what to do. Issara raised her palms together and prayed.

"_May all beings, all breathing things, all creatures, all individuals, were friends in the woeful planes, sharing the four sorrows: birth, age, illness and death_

_May they find peace, no more vengeance_

_May they find peace, no more violence_

_May they find peace, no more suffering_  
_  
May all beings be free, not be lost, all beings, all owners of their karma"_1

Kind people were beloved in all worlds.2 All the ghosts appreciated her mercy and were gone. These appeared before her special sight only, even Alistair, who stood beside her, didn't know a thing. His eyes were staring at a white haired templar who was standing in front of them and a group of men in massive armour who were soaked with blood.

…

"As I recall from my time as a templar, locking the door and throwing away the key was 'plan B'." Alistair grumbled.

True be told, Issara really didn't know if she should laugh or cry. All she could do was tell him to shut up. She needed time and peace to think about their situation.

Knight Commander Greagoir: the old templar who was in charges of mage's tower told her about what had happened recently. The Tower had been overrun by Abominations and Demons. He had to lockdown the door and caged everything inside. And now he was waiting for 'the Rite of Annulment' that gave him the right to _purge_ the tower.

"Vain…" The Lady Warden swore. Well, she used her own language but it had similar meaning. "Why is it everywhere I go has to be full of problems? Either this world sucks or I am a jinx."

"Do you need the answer?" The big mouthed Grey Warden asked.

She shot him a look with irate eyes.

"That means no, I take it."

"Good boy." She patted his back like he was her hound. Those full lips arched into her trademark smirk that made Alistair 'itch' to kiss it again.

He regretted stealing her first kiss, but he didn't regret kissing her. She tasted like something he'd never known, but it felt good…and right.

Anyway, her expression changed again. Issara's temper was really unpredictable.

"A little bit hyper and slightly bipolar; that's me." She'd said that once, proudly. "There's something within us that won't change, which makes people hate themselves but I don't. No one could change the truth; all we can do is accept and live with it."

"_I_ am a mad woman who is proud of my madness. But…you don't have to say it out loud, OK?"

Yes, and he thought he was falling for a freak… a most charming freak.

"I won't go anywhere unless I get what I came for." Issara was standing in front of the knight commander, arms crossed and frowning. So confident and stubborn even when she was surrounded by a group of templar,

"But the Circle of magi is lost; they couldn't assist you against the Blight." The white haired templar tried to be reasonable. Strange, he seemed more like a grandfather who trying to calm his hot-head granddaughter down than the high-ranking knight.

Biting her lip, the lady Grey Warden was thinking something. Although he couldn't read her mind, Alistair knew she wasn't thinking about retreat.

"Alright, I suppose I also can't ask you for aid because you and your men have to take care of this situation. I can't get any assistance unless this madness has been stopped." Issara talked thoughtfully. "So, why don't you let me do that?"

"What?" Alistair, Leliana and Greagoir asked in unison.

"I don't yet know what I should do. But if you let me in, I'll find someway to solve this."

"_Where did she get that confidence?"_ Her companions exchanged glances.

"Don't look at me like that." Issara retorted childishly. "I'm not a mighty but brainless hero who tries to save everything. Of course I fear the Abominations and Demons. But I do not have many choices. Retreat or penetrate; they're all I have."

"Perhaps we should go back to get Morrigan." The bard offered.

"That will waste our time. I know Morrigan. She won't help us save the Circle." Sighing, Issara refused softly.

"But…only three of us might…"

'Smile even in danger' is in Thai people's character. Although she saw no hope, Issara still smiled. "If you two don't want to go with me, I won't force you. Even though going alone is suicide, I still have to do that."

The ex-templar growled. "Did you just insult me? I said I would protect you. Unless you chain me to something, I won't let you go through that door without me."

Although she hid her face beneath her raven hair, the hint of pink still showed. "Err…thanks."

"So, you've decided to help us?" The knight commander asked. When she affirmed, he asked again. "I can open the door, but I have to seal it after you. Are we understood?"

"Yes Sir!" Issara shouted and gave him military salute, formally as she had learned from her father.

Greagoir looked at her questioningly but chuckled kindly. "May the Maker watch over you, young one."

…

True to his word, the templar closed the main door as soon as the Grey Wardens and company had walked through it. Issara shuddered and griped her crossbow tight; the idea of being caged inside the tower still pressured her nerves.

"As long as I've known the knight commander, I never saw him smile till today." Alistair said, sounded like he was trying to break the tension around them.

"What can I say? I'm a charming girl." His fellow Grey Warden replied playfully but her eyes were gazing around like she was trying to find something.

"Ah... If you two don't mind." Leliana interrupted them. "Can I ask where we will go?"

"I don't think that will be hard to…"

She couldn't finish her sentence, a group of children and mages ran to them first. A girl with long blond braids fell to the ground in front of Issara. She screamed aloud when the beautiful Warden touched her.

"Easy…girl, you'll be alright. No one will harm you." Soothing little one, the Lady Warden said it with a sweet voice and her sing-song accent.

The blond girl stopped crying. Although she still hiccupped, her tears didn't shed. "You…you aren't demon, right?"

"Absolutely not, I'm human." Even though she wasn't the ordinary kind…

"I don't know who you are, but if you came to help, please help Wynne, she is in danger!"

The name had shocked her. However, Issara didn't have time for that. She ran to where the survivors had come out, as soon as she heard someone scream from that direction. Her companions followed her closely.

In the small room, they saw that an old woman was surrounded by three of something which looked like moving flames. The old one used her magic and cast them aside. One screamed and then disappeared, the rest hurled fire at the mage again. Although she could handle one, the other evaded her spell, and tried to attack from behind.

Faster than thought, Issara released a bolt from its partner. It was not clear what it could do, but the unnatural thing disappeared after the Ice bolt was thrust into its head…or something like that.

"Thank you…" The Lady Warden said to a ghost who had warned her about this thing.

However, the white haired mage didn't appreciate that. She was totally shocked and speechless.

"Hello, good to see you again." Issara laughed and held the elder. "You have no idea how glad I was when I learned you were still alive, my lovely grandma."

Wynne pulled her off only to look her face before kissing her forehead kindly and gladly. "Those should be my words; I thought you two were dead."

"Not yet, no thanks to Loghain." Alistair growled.

"Whatever, I think this isn't a good time for a reunion. I heard about the Abominations and Demons. Is it true, Wynne?" Always business first, Issara asked seriously.

"You already saw it. Those are called rage demons; they were summoned from the Fade. I'm not certain but I think a mage name Uldred is behind this. After bringing him back from Ostagar, he had changed and tried to change us. No matter what he has done, he must be stopped." The mage replied. "Those Demons killed many of us, I rescued as many as I could but…"

"Don't worry. I'll help you solve this. However, we don't have much time. Greagoir is outside, waiting for the Rite of Annulment." Issara said.

"Then, he thinks we are beyond hope." She said tiredly, almost falling over. The Wardens had to help her stand.

As always, Issara's smile could sooth everyone. And she always had hope. "We still have time, Wynne. We just need to hurry. He said he won't use the Rite if the First Enchanter shows his face. If we can save him, Greagoir won't purge the tower. All we have to do is destroy those disgusting things and save everyone."

Wynne turned quiet for a moment before smiling. "I hope to share your optimism, my dear child."

Just smiling wider, the younger woman didn't show any worry. "If we lose hope, we lose everything. And now I have a great mage with me, what else I shall fear?"

"You little honey-tongued…" The old mage pinched her round cheeks. Issara moaned and held Wynne tighter, causing Wynne to chuckled and held back. "All right, we'll do it together. But I have to tell you something first."

The Lady Warden scratched her head. "Well, if you're meaning to tell me about…my ability. I already know about it."

"How did you know?"

"It's a very long story. Perhaps we should discuss it later." To be told, she didn't want to avoid the subject. They really had no time for it. "And before you ask, I know how to handle the Demons. If I didn't, I might've already been possessed."

Wynne's expression was hard to read. "All right, if you insist. I barred the way to inside the tower to protect the children and other mages, but I'll dispel it."

"But… Are the survivors safe in that room? I know Greagoir won't open the door and let them out. Should we leave them there?" Issara asked.

"That won't be any problem. If we kill every Demon we meet in our way, they shall be safe." The old mage smiled slyly.

Back at Ostagar, this mage had helped her about 'woman's things'. The Lady Warden knew her enough to be unsurprised. "Yes, that's my Wynne. Let's go kick some ass."

…

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta.

1 Rough translation from 'the chant of mercy' (short version) in Buddhism,

2 Rough translation from the Buddhism's proverb,


	15. Genie in the bottle

This chapter is a bit 'full of actions'. I got some idea from the old Thai's action movie. :D Muay-Thai is dangerous, even FBI had to train it. So, don't try it at home.

Genie in a bottle

…

Another pitcher of ale…

Alcohol wouldn't solve the problem, but could help him forget about it. Tomorrow he might have a hang-over or worse, but he didn't care. Alistair drank everything they had in the spoiled princess tavern without any thought.

It was a bit late, but the tavern was still crowded with drunken men. The ex-templar didn't notice people who were looking at him suspiciously. He was lost in thought.

"Mind if I sit here?" A rich, smooth and strangely accented voice asked.

The ex-templar just shrugged. "Help yourself."

The stranger joined his table. In the dim light of busy tavern, all that was revealed from beneath dirty cloak was the too friendly face of beautiful elf. He mouth smiled wide but his eyes didn't. However, the tattoo on his face stole all the attention.

"I heard something about that tower. They said the mages summoned Abominations and Demons out but the Grey Wardens crushed them to dust. Might that be that true?" The elf asked. Seemed like he trying to make conversation.

He didn't like talking with the stranger but the alcohol had unzipped his mouth. "Not _the_ Grey Wardens (hic) but _a _Grey Warden, she is only one who deserves credit."

"She..? Oh, she must be a great warrior, no?"

"You could say that. She is (hic) a miracle. Everything she has done, everything she's said is good. Even Sloth Demons couldn't stand in her way. One used its power to put us sleep and tried to trap us inside the Fade, so (hic) she rescued us, and then killed it. I still remember when she tucked a grenade into its wound and commanded Wynne to cast a fire spell on it. The image of blowing Demon is really (hic) impressive."

The elf frowned. "Grenade..?"

"Yes, a booming thing. You know, she uses it in case she wants to (hic) explode something. Wall, rock or someone she doesn't like." Alistair smiled dreamily while thinking about his unpredictable leader, but it slowly changed to a sad smile.

"And then what? The Sloth Demon wasn't only thing you had to deal with, yes?"

"Riiiiiiiight… after the Demon was out of our way, we (hic) met a templar. What is his name? Cullen perhaps, he was caged in something that looked like glowing barrier. He told us about a mage name (hic) Uldred that used blood magic to control the other mages. Well, that boy was tortured for Maker knows how long. He was really (hic) frightened, and suggested to us that we kill everyone inside the Harrowing Chamber (hic)."

The listener seemed excited by the story. He leaned himself closer and spoke louder. "She's your leader and so she was the one who made decision. So, what did she do? Did she believe the templar?"

"Absolutely not, she prefers not to kill, (hic) if it's unnecessary." Alistair placed his empty flagon on the table, and someone instantly replaced it with full one. "She insisted on sparing the innocents even (hic) though they might be Abominations. In fact, she left a bloodmage alive because she believes in redemption (hic)."

"Ah…I see. She is an ideal heroin."

"Not exactly, she is desperately badass (hic) sometimes. You don't want to make her (hic) mad, trust me."

"Really..? Aha, that Uldred must have a bigger problem than he'd thought."

"He did, indeed. But the story is (hic) rather anticlimactic." The story teller paused to take another sip and the listener waited calmly. "There was no spell-caster's fight or (hic) demon. We just walked into the Harrowing Chamber (hic). We saw that Uldred was cooking up the ritual to turn a poor mage to an Abomination. And as soon as she (hic) saw him, she grabbed her gun and shot. Pang! Just one shot and half his head were gone, the job done."

"Gun…What is that?"

Without any thought, Alistair took another sip and was ready to tell more. However, he was interrupted by the cold wind. Someone opened the tavern's door.

He didn't have to turn back, he knew those heavy footsteps. Even though he couldn't see her, he knew that her hips would swing with every step of that gorgeous walking. He really enjoyed watching it during their travels.

The elf was facing the entrance, he saw a woman who was walking to their table. The redhead woman was wearing a leather suit that he'd never seen before. Although she didn't bring any weapons, she still walked into the bar full of drunken men like no one was around. So confident, this one must be the beautiful Grey Warden the drunk had just spoken of.

She glanced at the elf for a second, before she touched her friend's shoulder. "Alistair, what are you doing here? Everyone is worrying about you. You should back to the camp." Her tone was soft and concerned.

Too bad, he didn't hear it. The former templar collapsed to the table, and almost instantly began snoring.

Issara slapped her forehead. "I knew you'd make things hard." She pinched Alistair's cheek before she went to the innkeeper.

She was paying for Alistair's drink while several men besieged her. Her red eyebrows frowned slightly but she was still calm. Even as one man leaned close and whispered lecherously.

"What's good with that boy? We're here and would be glad to entertain you, darling."

Smiling even in danger; Issara masked her emotions with polite smile. "Thank, you're too kind. But my friend and I have some business to attend. We can't enjoy your hospitality."

However, they were stupid enough to disobey her…and spoke the dangerous keywords. "Don't get coy, I say you come with us, _whore_."

Her green eyes were narrowed, in next second she grabbed a glass bottle from the bar and hit the man's head. Another man punched her but she swept it away then 'chopped' her elbow straight to soft area beneath his jaw. The elbow guard made her hit harder, the poor man instantly passed out.

Another stupid man ran to her, but this time he brought a friend along. One of them had a dagger, but that didn't help them because she easily evaded and hit back with a wooden chair. The other one she hit the soft skin under his chin with both fists. While he fell back, she jumped to hit same area with her knee. The big man's head had been crushed, his jaw shattered. He'd already passed out before his body landed on the floor.

Gracefully, she landed back on the floor on her feet. Instantly she spun around and kicked the legs of another thug, he fell over and never got back up because Issara had kicked his head. Her metal boots could do damage enough to kill him when they hit his temple which is one of the human's weak points.

"Who's next?" Because of her having a lot of exercise lately, Lillian's flesh had become stronger but still lacked endurance. Issara was panting but she still held her guard.

Six men were felled by one unarmed woman; the statistics could shame any man. Even if anyone had a problem, he would think twice. A few minutes of silence passed, and the Grey Warden just sighed.

She looted the thugs for some coins, but gave those to the innkeeper. "Sorry for the mess, I hope this can help repair it."

Who would dare to offend her after that display? The innkeeper took the tokens and bowed. "Thank you very much, milady."

She didn't expect the trouble, but Issara solved it well enough. She nodded and left the tavern carrying the unconscious Alistair with her. In the mean time, she didn't look at blond elf. However, that doesn't mean she didn't see anything of him.

Speech is silver, silence is golden. The Lady Warden prefers to keep quiet if she couldn't say the right thing.

…

Just as she'd fear, Alistair wasn't totally drunk but someone had poisoned him.

Wynne had told her that after she'd checked his condition. The former templar was poisoned with a truth potion: a rare potion that would make the drinker say everything. It wasn't toxic, but it could damage the drinker's brain.

"I do not see why you have to worry." Morrigan offered her unwelcome opinion. "'Tis not like he had any brains to suffer anyway."

Unable laugh or cry, Issara just sighed. "Please, Morrigan. This isn't time for humour."

The witch scowled and left Alistair's tent. The old mage glanced at the Apostate unpleasantly.

"Does she have any knowledge of your true identity?" Wynne asked. In the Fade, they could see her spirit. So, the mage and the bard already knew her secret.

"Yes, she does. She said she knew it because she did some research, but I don't exactly believe her." Nothing to hide, Issara told Wynne everything. "Anyhow, if we hadn't met again, she might have become my instructor."

The white haired woman smiled softly. "I'm glad she didn't. Your gift is so powerful, without the right learning you might fall to the wrong way. I don't mean I am a great mage. But she is an apostate who was raised by another apostate. I can't leave you in her hands."

"I understand and I'm glad to have you along. If wasn't because of you, the Knight-Commander or the First Enchanter might not have let me out."

After the surviving mages has been rescued, they had a little time for a few conversations, the First Enchanter found out about Lillian's hidden gift. He insisted for her to learn their _art_ in the tower. However, Wynne stepped forward and offered to be her instructor. She would teach the Issara to be a good mage even though they would have to do the other missions.

"Anyways, I have to admit. Your case is…complicated. Your body…I mean, Lillian's body is powerful. I sensed it at our first meet, so I told Duncan about it. He promised me he would let me teach you after the battle, alas, he never had chance." The healer was still confused. "But your…spirit is…"

"I don't even know if I should use that power, it might be like Genie in a bottle. So, I look forward to finding the way to control Lillian's power." Issara wanted to be prepared for anything, no matter what it might be.

"I think I can help you with that but you have to try control it yourself anyway. The power you have will be worth nothing if it's out of control."

She felt like she was a ticking time bomb. The hidden power of Lillian's had grown stronger since she'd left the Fade and became a threat. Perhaps Issara had a shorter time for her quest than she'd expected.

"I'll try my best. However, I don't think we have to worry about it for now. All that concern me right now is Alistair. He always acts childishly, never taking anything seriously. We still have the quest but he just left to drink in that tavern alone, without even telling me. If he is my brother, I'll whip him like the brat he is."

Grey eyebrows arched curiously. "I think he might like that."

Issara blinked. "Err…let's forget you said that. Are you sure he will be alright?"

"If he's lucky, he will wake up tomorrow with hangover. But in the worst case scenario, he might forget everything he's been through in last few day. Whatever will be, I believe he will be fine." Wynne answered with understanding in her eyes.

However, before she left the ex-templar's tent, the Lady Warden held her arm.

"You're the one I trust most, Wynne. Do you mind if I ask you a favour?"

"Of course not, dear. What do you want me to do?"

Issara sighed. She was worried but not for herself. "Just in case anything happens to me, Alistair will need your guidance. He is the last real Grey Warden in Ferelden and probably will be the next king. No matter what might happen, he must survive. Please promise me you will be at his side if I'm gone."

"Oh, dear! Why did you say that?" The mage held her cheek concerned.

"No one can live forever. I don't fear dying if it's for a good cause." The younger woman smiled. "If I regret my death, it must be because I couldn't finish my quest."

"You mean your quest to save your sister? But you don't even know which game you have to play."

Issara scratched her head. "I don't know what I should do, so I'll do whatever I can. Can't say I'm eager to save this country, but I can't betray the trust that Duncan and the Couslands have in me. So, as long as I'm still alive, I'll do my duty as a Grey Warden. My sister isn't top priority anymore."

Wynne kissed her forehead kindly. She was right to trust this child. "You're good lass, Issara. The Maker shall preserve you."

Never one to believe in god, she was still polite enough to not deny that blessing. Issara just smiled until the old mage left the tent.

The Lady Warden was going to follow the old mage's steps when Alistair started twitching. He moaned like a hurt-puppy, speaking in his sleep. "No, Issara. Don't leave me! I'm scared."

Perhaps he had a nightmare, but about what? However, Issara had no choice but to hold him still in her arms. "Alistair, easy, you are just having a nightmare. I'm here and I won't leave you…" For now at least,

The ex-templar rested his face on her bosom. The chest's owner stiffed until he began to cry. "The archdemon…it will take you away from me, and I will lose everything."

Holding him tight like a loving mother cradling her boy, she kissed the top of his head and sang a lullaby.

Sun is creeping down  
Behind the hill  
Everything is calm  
Everything is still  
So baby close your eyes  
And rest your weary mind  
Let me hold you close  
I'll sing you this lullaby

Let your worries go  
You fall asleep  
Think of nothing more  
Memories will keep  
Your dreams will turn to gold  
And you will wake and find  
That you hold a smile all day  
From this lullaby

Maybe somewhere in the silence  
You may wake and you're all alone  
Just call and I'll be there  
Even when I'm gone  
Each day will end  
So I'll say good night  
Till we meet again  
Now baby close your eyes  
And rest your weary mind  
I'll let you know the joy you bring  
Every time you hear me sing  
You this lullaby

…

In case anyone might curious, Mae-mai Muay-Thai those uses in this chapter is real. You could watch it on youtube by search with keyword: Muay-Thai. However, some shameless people tried to insult us by made some fake fighting between Muay-Thai and Tae kwon do. It a bit annoying and pitiful, I don't angry because I know they just couldn't admit how pathetic they're.

And, oh, the song in this chapter is 'Baby close your eyes' by Celine Dion.

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta.


	16. Blame it on bad luck

Blame it on bad luck

…

A big bird was hovering in the gloomy sky, seemingly intent on the same direction as the Grey Wardens. Issara looked at it with her telescope and aimed the crossbow at the annoying flying being. However, she changed her mind after a moment of debate.

"What's wrong?" Alistair asked. He was still holding his head, but at least he was sober.

Unable to hide her bashfulness, The Lady Warden blushed and quickly look away. "Nothing, its just… that vulture is really getting on my nerve. I wanted to shoot it down but that would only waste the bolt, so I let it go."

"It's just a vulture. Why you want its death?" Not fully awake, the ex-templar yawned while was asking.

"Well, among my people, the vulture is a jinx. Some believe it can sense the dead. If you see it anywhere, there will be death, now or later. I do not believe that but… I have a bad feeling about it."

"We find fighting and death everywhere we go, and yet we still live. Just a bird couldn't bring us down, I believe." He smiled sleepily.

Issara made a funny face at him. "Are you alright? Maybe you should rest for awhile, Bodahn might not mind if you wanted to take a nap on his cart."

"Nah… I'm just hung over. Give me a fight and I'll be good." He lowered his hand. The other Warden could see a dark spot on his cheek. "Truth be told, I'm still wondering. How did I get this bruise?"

The little one smiled sheepishly. Automatically she held her hands together behind her back, she really couldn't tell him the truth. "You don't remember anything?"

"As far as I can remember: you punched that poor templar and he passed out. Wynne told me something happened in the tower but I don't think she told me everything."

Issara turned back. She saw that the rest of her party was sitting in small clearing, having their lunch. The Grey Wardens had some privacy, at least for awhile. "The less you know, the better. At least you won't have nightmares about the disgusting things we found in that mess."

"Just another bad dream, I have the nightmares every night anyway… Come to think of it, you don't have many problems about it, yes?"

"Only in the night after we left Lothering, which night you told me about Grey Warden's dream. 'Part of being a Grey Warden is being able to hear the Darkspawn, we could dream of Archdemon and blah-blah-blah.' You are here for delivering unpleasant news and witty one-liners." Playfully, the Lady Warden said it like she didn't care. "After that, I meditated every night before going to sleep and I never had the nightmares again. Strong minds can throw it out, I think."

Alistair leaned himself against a nearby tree, eyes still locked on her beautiful face. "That sounds great. Could you teach me to do that?"

"I shall if we have the time. Meditation isn't hard, but you need to be very patient."

"Patience… That isn't my strong suit." He moaned like a child. "Do you have easier way?"

The Lady Warden just smiled. "You should try it before giving up, Alistair. It isn't worse than dreaming of darkspawn and archdemons, I'm sure."

"You're probably right. But…I still don't have the answer." He pointed at his cheek, "Wynne said she didn't know anything about it but she alluded that you might know something."

How could she tell him? Last night, she'd allowed him to cry on her chest. But he didn't just rest his face on her sensitive skin. Unconscious or not, the Warden had nuzzled his nose farther into the forbidden area. She had to protect her sovereignty by slapping him.

"Err—it's just bad luck, I guess." Her cheeks were completely red, the memory of his touch still haunted her. Last night she'd had some dream that was hard to throw out of her mind, and thinking about it only shamed her lady's attitude.

Alistair gazed at her thoughtfully. He might be wondering about the color on her face. "Well, if you say so. I just hope I didn't offend you."

"_Offend me…? What you've done was more than that, chantry-boy." _Issara thought furiously, but she kept it to herself. The last thing in the world she would do was tell him about how good she felt when he was touching her like that.

Thai's ladies were taught to hide their 'forbidden' feelings, especially about sex. These ethics were a bit behind the times, but old habit die hard. She still felt guilty to think about 'the birds and the bees', even though she had a 'naughty' side as everyone does.

"Let's…forget about it. Oh! I'm hungry, better have some lunch. See you later."

She tried to flee, but he wouldn't allow it. Alistair grabbed that small wrist before his little leader could runaway. However, Issara always was the faster of the two. She stopped any questions that might have come from his mouth by thrusting a metal thing in her hand to his face.

Stunned, the ex-templar drew back and grabbed the thing. He stared at it, confused, while The Lady Warden fled to the rest of the companions.

It was an amulet: a silver amulet with the emblem of Andraste's Flame that was riddled with cracks. Alistair recognized it instantly; this was his mother's amulet. But how could she…?

She was sitting in the ring of companions, and didn't look back; he knew he couldn't get any answers unless she willingly gave them. If he tried to force her, he wouldn't get anything but pain. Issara could protect herself well enough and Sten was totally in her control since she baked him cookies. Who would have thought that the woman, who loved to create the bombs, also knew how to bake sweets.

Kissing the amulet, the bastard prince was glad to have it back. However, he knew he would kiss those dimples later.

…

"Why are you folding a bandana around your neck?" Curious, Leliana asked the leader while they were again walking on the road.

Morrigan, Wynne and Alistair eyed her questioningly as well. The group was walking beside each other except Sten who walked in the rear. If anyone said anything, everyone else heard it.

"Well, it's just… I came from a tropical zone. My motherland was always hot and only got hotter, so I'm not familiar with the chilly climate of Ferelden. If I don't be careful, I might catch a cold. So, I have to keep myself warm. This bandana protects my neck from the cold wind."

"Perhaps you should wear something…warmer." The oldest mage offered.

Issara looked down and smiled. "The robe or dress is pretty but a bit untidy, especially if I have to kick, which I always do. It will be awkward to lift the rim of dress in between fighting."

Wynne murmured something. The others laughed until the leader raised her right hand as a signal.

"What's wrong?" Alistair asked. But he received no reply.

So quiet, they heard nothing even the songbirds. Issara grabbed her crossbow in standby and everyone beheld their guard in response.

A vulture cried while it was swooping passed their heads. Something beckoned the shaman's granddaughter to follow it, she ran after the shadow until the dirt road ended at a small hill.

Down the ledge, there was a body was lying on a small glade that was dense with grass and shrubs. From that distance she couldn't tell his condition but the vultures didn't eat him yet, which might mean that the man was still alive, no matter how long he had left.

Issara carefully climbed down a rough slope to the poor man. Although she wasn't a doctor, she knew he'd passed through very bad situation by the looks of several shades of bruises on him. However, the cause of his death must have been the large wound on his belly. Someone had stabbed and left him bleed to death.

She found his pulse, but it was faint. He needed a healer ASAP. The leader called Wynne with all the might she had. When the companion came, Issara asked the old mage to heal him but Wynne shook her head.

"We are too late. He won't survive this."

"Please, Wynne. At least, please slow it. I remember his uniform, this man is…was King Caillan's guard. I want to speak with him."

There was no need to say it twice, the mage understood and hurried to cast a healing spell. The poor man slowly woke up. "Y… your majesty, I'm sorry." He cried.

Issara turned to Alistair, whatever happen to this former loyal guard must have been involve with his half-brother. Anyhow, they didn't have much time. She had to get to the point. "You're king Caillan's guard, right? I remember your face, perhaps we met in Ostagar."

Her words brought him down to earth. The dying guard finally focused his eyes on her. "Ostagar… right, I think I remember you; one of Duncan's new recruits.

"Yes, I am. My friends and I survived Ostagar but our mentor and the king didn't." Sighing deeply, she still felt bad when thinking about it. "However, what happen to you? Why are you here?"

"I… I fled from Ostagar, just before the battle. And then was captured by Bann Loren's men. They tortured me for weeks…or months, I can't remember. I tried to escape but… they found me, did this and then left me for dead." Before the Warden could say anything, the dying guard grabbed her collar and said. "Listen… I know I have short time left. King Cailan gave me the key… to unlock his personal chest. He wanted me to pass it on to the Grey Wardens in the case he… died in the battle."

"_So, Caillan wasn't a fool after all. He knew the risk but still acted with bravado, only for morale of his followers. That man was the good and really brave, he deserves the name of hero."_ Issara thought. She really regretted thinking of him as a fool.

"What's so important about that chest?" Alistair asked seriously. A little out of his character, but his fellow Warden understood it.

"King Cailan keeps his father's sword and some important documents inside that chest. It is vital that the king's document do not fall to the wrong hands. As for Maric's sword, it is too powerful to be pawed at by those monsters…" The poor man began to cough up blood, his time was near and he knew it. "The key… I stashed it in the camp, behind the loose stone in the base of the statue… near the mage's tent… I…"

The hand on her collar loosened, and the poor guard fell to the ground, unable to move, his eyes still open.

The Lady Warden touched his neck, his pulse beat no more. She placed her hand on his opened eyes and prayed the chant, slowly closing his eyes.

"May your spirit go to better place, my comrade. I'll finish your quest, you have my word." Issara swore.

"You'll be taking me along, won't you?" The bastard prince asked. However, from the look in his eyes, she knew he didn't expect a refusal. "Call me sentimental, but I left behind some darkspawn that really deserve a sword through the middle."

"_No matter what he says, he was Maric's son after all."_ Issara thought. Now she knew this man would be a good king someday… a day without her. Lillian might be his Queen, if everything goes the right way. She hoped that the woman deserved him.

"The events at Ostagar still haunt my thoughts, Issara. If that's where we head, I would like to accompany you." The old mage offered.

Rabbit barked; he wanted to go with her too.

The leader just smiled. It was a good thing that the witch and qunari were waiting them on the ledge. If they were here, they might think differently. "Don't worry, I'm not that selfish. You all will go with me, but not today. We have another urgent quest to finish. Well, anyone have a shovel?"

* * *

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta.


	17. Bad day

Bad day

* * *

"You shouldn't bury his launch." Morrigan said.

Issara cocked her eyebrow. "Pardon me?"

The witch pointed at branch of nearby tree. There's a vulture was hiding behind the bushes of green leafs. Even though they left a grave of poor guard for an hour and half, a sneaky bird still followed them.

"Well, they say the vulture's meat is stinky but tasty like a turkey. Who want to try some?" Lady Warden grabbed her crossbow, but that poor poultry hurried fly away before she did anything. "Shi1 (tut)… that janitor is smarter than it look."

"You're mean." Alistair mocked.

Narrowed her eyes, Issara nudged that chest with crossbow's stock. "Call me sentimental, but I couldn't leave that man to be scavenger's meal. The idea of sent him back to the mother's earth sound better than let the vulture rip his flesh, eat the eyes or pull his internal organs out."

The ex-templar looked at a half-eaten drumstick in his hand. "Great, and now I lost my appetite."

Rabbit barked happily and snatched it away. Although Alistair tried to grab it back, he was too late. The hound's drool soaked all over the drumstick, the poor Warden had to give it to the victorious Mabari.

Everyone include Sten laughed, they seemed to enjoy watching his misfortune. However, Rabbit's mistress always merciful.

"I apologize for my minion." And for that, she gave him a pouch of cookies; her famous nut cookies. "If you don't eat it soon, you should beware of Sten." She whispered.

True enough, the qunari glazed at small pouch seriously.

"Perhaps you're right." Alistair opened the pouch. He was going to take a piece of baking crunchy into his mouth while a stranger ran to them.

"Help, they're attack the wagon, you have to help us!" The woman cried. "I'll lead you to them."

Issara laughed and slapped her fellow Grey Warden's shoulder. "Today is your bad day."

However, her expression suddenly turned to serious. Alistair was confusing while everyone grabbed their weapon in ready.

Not far from that point, a frighten woman leaded the Grey Warden's party to narrow road that compress on two opposite side with high ledge. Lady Warden looked around with frowning eyes, and then pointed to those ledges. Everyone except Alistair nodded. The mages gripped their staff tight while the bard readied arrow and bow.

"What..?" Confused, the ex-templar asked.

"Behold your guard." His leader whispered. "This is an ambush."

"What..?" He asked louder. But suddenly stopped while saw that woman walked to an elf. Behind him were the men and women, all armored and armed.

"Grey Wardens dies here." That elf declared. He and his followers unsheathed their weapons.

Issara grabbed her Katana, but a lonely tree that stood just beyond the road was falling down. She has to jump forward to dodge it, which made her stood alone in the circle of assassins. The other shouted from another side but they couldn't come in time.

"Well, what's a great hospitality? I'm so sorry this have to end quickly." As always, she never showed her fear. Issara was smiling while pulled her bandana to cover the lower part of her face before thrown a silver sphere to the ground.

Smashed with solid rock, the sphere suddenly broke and released the chemicals inside to the world. It changed to white smoke that irritates to respiratory system. However, that didn't bother the assassins so much because their throat was slit by Lady Grey Warden's dagger. Her tactic wasn't honestly as the warrior does but she doesn't mind. Well, didn't they say everything is fair in love and war?

Anyway, the white smoke didn't last long. Issara jumped across the log to join her companion and avoided being surrounded by the enemies. Too bad, that's the chance of the archers on the cliff. One arrow hit at side of her head, which cause Lady Warden to fell to the earth.

"Issara..!" Alistair shouted. He was occupying by an assassin, but he hurried cut that one down before ran to his fellow Grey Warden. She was shaking her head, one hand on her temple while was propping herself on her elbow.

"Are you all right?" Forgot everything, the ex-templar gathered that small frame into his arms, called the healer in panic.

"A…Ali, it's alright. I'm fine. A little dizzy, but I'll be alright." Little one whispered.

"No, I don't believe you. I saw you were shot at your head. If only you wear helmet…"

Issara smiled and lifted a log of her hair up to show him her temple. "Look, it's just a bruise. As long as I still consciousness, my skin is durable; nothing can cut through it. I fell only because the force of arrow."

"But… Are you kidding? How that is possible?" Still disbelieve, he flipped that smiley face around like he was searching for the wound.

"My grandpa taught me well. I'll tell you if we don't have the assassin around to kill us. Let's talk later, ok?" She winked playfully before grabbed her crossbow. Instantly shot at a stealthy assassin who almost stabbed Alistair in the back.

He groaned and went back to the fighting. The ex-templar didn't worry about his back because he knew Issara would watch for it. The Grey Wardens was turning their back to each other, moving in harmony like the bloody dance. She shot the far distant enemies while he bashed anyone who dared to come near them. When his shield protected them from the arrow and bolt, she slid from behind and kicked the foe that came from another direction. Without reason, they both laughed in unison, amidst blood pool of their enemies.

Once, he missed one stealth assassin. Lady Warden corrected his mistake with her throwing dagger. It thrust to the assassin's throat before he fell to the ground, instantly dead.

"You owe me again." Issara chuckled. Her cheeks flushed with adrenalin.

Alistair didn't reply. He launched to beautiful Warden with the shield in his arm. It shielded her from a bolt that shot by an archer before that one was burned by Morrigan's fire.

"I don't think so." He whispered.

Looking up, his handsome face was just above her forehead. She tried to smile coyly but didn't succeed. The ragged breath didn't give her enough oxygen. "Well, no one get the point this time. But our journey still young, you might owe me again in the future."

"Perhaps… you don't know that." He smiled.

"Perhaps you should look at something else… far from my breast." The crossbow's stock nudged at his broad chest. She knew he have marvelous view from his height to her low-neck jacket.

Alistair lifted his hands in surrender. "All right, today isn't my good day."

Shot him with her glare, Issara pointed her finger at his large smile in annoying. However, she didn't serious about that. When Leliana called her, Lady Warden left her fellow Grey Warden with slyly grin on her face.

After the last assassin die, the bard and the hound surveyed the corpses for information and anything useful. Not only that, they also found the survivor, so they called the leader.

However, the extraordinary leader didn't surprise when saw the die hard assassin. She willingly spared his life because she could recognize that tattoo. He was an elf who sat in Alistair's table yesterday. If she was right, this elf was the one who poison the ex-templar for information. And she wanted to know why he done that.

Except some bruises and scratch, the elf didn't get any wounded. But if she was right, this one passed out because she kicked his ribs cage. Her metal combat boots might did break those bones or other organs inside it. Sometime she really couldn't control Lillian's body, which made her hit too hard or too soft.

Issara woke that elf up for interrogation, but still hold her guard though. If he tries anything funny, she won't hesitate to feed him with one or two bullets.

A blond elf moaned before opened his eyes. He didn't look surprise that he woke up surrounded by the group of angry warriors. Especially the beautiful one who was sitting on her knee, hand placed on a metal thing that was clinging with outer side of her right thigh, ready to use it if she had to.

"True be told, I think I will never wake up alive, or not wake up at all." He said with strange accent, which remain Issara about Italian.

However, all her respond were the arched eyebrows. Green eyes of Lillian were staring at the assassin emotionlessly, which chilled down his entire spine.

"But I'm still here, alive and everything. I guess you want to interrogation me, no?" An elf tried to negotiate. He still remembered what Alistair said about this Warden: she prefers no kill. Thus he might talk himself out of her blades.

"Who sent you?" Straight to the point, when in heartless mode, Issara have no mood to play.

"Oh, business person, aren't you? I really love the woman who knows what she wants. I really do." Those green eyes narrowed. The assassin knew that look, he hurried cooperate. "A large, taciturn man in the capital… I think his name was Loghain."

Couldn't say she surprise. Most of powerful men try to get their power by do everything no matter how dirty it was. That betrayer putted the bounty on the Grey Wardens. But seemed he started to run out of his patient, so he decided to get faster way to their heads.

However, this was too easy. Why this elf said it without any hesitation? A girl from cruel world found this was so suspicious. "How could I know you say the truth?"

The assassin smiled. "I have no evidence. That Arl contacted with the Crow passed the agent, I just received the order."

"Arl..? But Loghain is Teyrn."

"I mean his dog, his name is Howe if I…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. A hand in Cestus gripped his neck tight like the owner was willing to break it. Her green eyes seemed to change color with loathe.

"Did you say Arl Howe is Loghain's man?" Lady Grey Warden asked, but growl must was the right word. Her sweet voice became harsh, even Sten shocked about it. Who would have thought, the bright and shine person could turn to a beast just within a blink of the eyes.

Alistair knew too well about how important that name was. Despite doesn't bond by blood, Issara held the grudge over the Coudsland's murderer like she was one of the lost family. No surprise if her hate will rage like the pyre when it was blazed by the name of that dirty dog. She might break the assassin's neck if the ex-templar didn't stop her.

"Issara, this one doesn't Howe." He whispered into her ear cause her to release an elf who almost suffocated.

Back to her own self, Lady Warden blinked rapidly to conceal her tear. Realized she just let the hate overwhelm her, she tried to calm that dangerous emotion down. Then, she let the senior Grey Warden continue the interrogation.

Leaned her forehead with the rough stone, Issara stood alone under the ledge until she felt someone… or something moved pass her.

"Please, spare him…"

It's a ghost, she knew. But how could she hear it speak? Two day ago she couldn't hear what the dead mages tried to tell her, but today…

"Right, it must be Lillian's power." She grunted.

However, she knew it hard to refuse the ghost's request. Only the strong ghost could contact with living one, and they would be more than dangerous if they angry. So, she went back to the companion just in time before they decide the assassin's fate.

"His name is Zevran, one from the Crow: a group of elite assassins from Antiva. They're very powerful and renowned for always getting the job done… Their clients have to pay the high price, that Loghain must really want you two dead." Leliana told her.

"What a relief." Issara sighed while everyone looked at her like they thought she lost her mind. "It will hurt my feeling if he sends the jerks after us. Loghain putted a lot money for hire the elite, that mean he think we're dangerous threat. We can't reach him yet but at least he couldn't sleep well."

The companion chuckled. Strange perspective of their leader was always hard to fathom.

"Anyhow, if they contact pass the agent, it mean Zavran doesn't have to meet Loghain or his men. You just send news and the Crow will inform it to the client. Am I right?"

Zavran whistled. "How could you know that?"

She learned about this system from some movies, but she won't tell him. "I'm the one who make the question here."

"All right, I'm at your service." He said playfully.

Issara could catch some hesitate in his tone; this man had something in his mind. "True be told, I don't think you can tell anything I'm not already know or care to listen. You might tell me about Loghian's location, but he surely guarded with his men. It isn't easy to assassination him anyway. And if I right, you don't royal to your client enough to die for him because if you do, you won't tell me his name that easily."

Zevran hummed softly. This woman was smarter and reasonable than she looks, perhaps he could reason with her. "Then unless you are quite stuck on slitting my throat, or something equally gruesome, perhaps you would be interested in hearing a proposal?"

"Make it short. I don't have all day for your speech."

"Well, here's the thing. I failed to kill you, so my life is forfeit. That's how it works. If you don't kill me, the Crows will. Thing is, I like living and you obviously are the sort to give the Crows pause. So let me serve you, instead."

Red brows arched in curiousness. "And what stop you from finish you job later?"

"I tried to kill you second time, and never success. Although I success in the third, they might just kill me on principle for failing. To be completely honest, I was never given much of a choice regarding joining the Crows. They bought me on the slave market when I was a child. I think I paid my worth back to them, plus tenfold. The only way out, however, is to sign up with someone they can't touch." The elf tried to negotiate.

"Oh, what happened in the inn yesterday is your plan, isn't it? But if I didn't show up, what you would do with Alistair?" Her eyes were glowing with rage. The idea of they might hurt her templar boiled her blood.

Morrigan grunted. She didn't like that sound.

"Could you blame me? I'm the assassin, and you two were weak when separated. I had to take my chance." Zevran said almost innocently.

The Grey Wardens looked in each other's eyes. Intend or not, those words gave them something to think.

A few minute passed, Issara sighed and turned away from those beautiful eyes. "You're right, but I still curious. Shall you enlighten me why I need your assistant?"

"I'm skill assassin, of course." He paused to look at Lady Warden's expression. She smirked slyly. "Furthermore, I still can just sit and look pretty. Or if you like, I can warm your bed."

"No!" Issara growled. However, in another side of her mind, she wondered what she would say if the man who offer this service was Alistair.

Zevran chuckled. He knew how the stupid Warden felt toward pretty Warden. Although she didn't show it, he believed she felt the same way with that lucky man.

Looked around, no one give any comment so she made the decision. "Ok, I accept your offer."

"What?" Alistair blurted out. "You're taking the assassin with us now? Does that really seem like a good idea?"

Issara gave him the look; _shut up._

However, Leliana approved of this plan. "Welcome, Zevran," she said warmly. "Have an Antivan Crow with us sounds like a good plan."

Zevran's eyes brightened as he looked at lovely redhead. "Oh? You are another companion-to-be, then? I wasn't aware such loveliness existed amongst adventurers, surely."

"Or maybe not," The bard said with knotted eyebrows.

However, the vulture swooped down to the log. Issara smiled at it and said.

"You had what you came for."

It shouted. And a few minute later, other vultures came to the field. Those birds began their lunch after the Grey Wardens gone.

* * *

1 Issara swore in her language. In the parentheses is the meaning of word in English.


	18. The thing I hate about you

Sorry for late update, you know how live is busy.

* * *

The things I hate about you

…

The rain droplets kept falling on her head. It covered the transparent plastic of her eyeglasses, slower her running speed but it didn't stop her. Nothing could stop her, not until she reached her destination.

But she fell, and was crushed by a car. The small figure of a girl rolled on the road like a lifeless doll, her mind was playing many flashbacks. She thought she would die.

The car owner tried to pick her up, to bring her to hospital. But she opened her eyes and began to run.

All the time, she cried. "Ma…"

…

Drifting off of the dream realm, Issara stared at the canvas above her blankly. Outside, the cold water was springing from the sky. There was a hole in her tent somewhere, so one of the cold droplets dropped to her face, just under her left eye. It almost looked like a single tear.

In an old song, it said: rain is the sky's tear, which was why people felt sad on rainy days. But for Issara, she had more reason to be gloomy.

She was lying like that even as Rabbit whined, tried to get her attention. He was really concerned about his mistress…both of them, actually. When she didn't respond, the faithful hound ran from her tent before coming back with a friend.

"Issara… are you all right?" A familiar voice asked. A rough hand was soothing her face tenderly. "Please, say something…"

Down to earth, she regained consciousness slowly. Hazel brown eyes blinked rapidly while she tried to catch her breath. "I… I was just lost in my thoughts, no need to worry."

He knew she never showed her weakness, but this was too much. "You were lying, eyes opened like a dead man. It's not normal, Issara. Tell me what really happen."

Resting herself on his chest, she sighed. "I just… I hate the rain. My mother died on a day like this."

He waited patiently; letting her speak her mind.

"I was at the school, waiting for the rain to stop before going home… But I felt… something was not right, so I ran home. In the rain, I got into an accident. But I still ran…and, I saw her; she was lying in the rain. I called for ambulance, grandpa, papa… everyone I could think of."

"She… had a terrible heart disease, the doctor suggested that she not have any children… but I was too stubborn. Even though they used precaution, I still exist."

Chuckling softly, the blond haired Alistair kissed her forehead gently. "That sounds like you." However, he wondered what would happen if her parents had succeeded in birth control.

She smiled against his broad chest but unconsciously cried. "Everyone suggested her to have a… miscarriage, to save her life but she denied them. Grandma told me when I old enough that my ma insisted on keeping me. She said; this child will grow up to be a special person, to do something very important. Although it will risk her life, she won't kill me."

"And she was right. You are here to save everyone from the Blight. You're a special person, Issara." His soothing words touched her heart, she felt weak, but it was a good kind of weakness.

"Perhaps… I'm not sure about that. As for my birth… it wasn't that good. Ma almost died giving birth to me. I thought it was a miracle that we both survived, but if the Demon who sent me here told me the truth… My father sold me to Demon to save her life, which didn't happen again when she had another child."

"Normally, I was the one who did the chores because my ma was weak by her pregnancy. But there was rain that day, she might have tried to pick the clothing I left basking around… and, she might have fallen… unconscious and… When the medic carried her to the hospital, he said she would be alright and she would be back home… with my sister or brother. He lied, but I never got angry. Who would tell a frighten girl, who was looking as her mother was carried to hospital, that she would never see her lovely smile again?"

Speechless, the blond just held her tighter.

"I love her so much. Every time I thought about her, I would try to think about the good things we shared. But the rain reminds me of her death, my failure and… my pa's distance. He was in another region of country when this happen, like every time we wanted him. Don't get me wrong. I love him too but… he just wasn't like any normal parent."

"I…" He whispered. "I never knew my parents. My mother died when I too young to remember her, and my father… we never met. Lillian tried to force me to read the book about him but I never obeyed her."

Looking up to his face, Issara suddenly felt guilt. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought this up."

"No-no… it isn't a bad thing, really. I love to listen to your stories and… It feels better when I talk it out and someone listens. People do not often listen to what I have to say." Lillian didn't pay any attention to his story. She was the one who made conversation and would cut him off if he dared to challenge her rule. The people who listen to him were Duncan and his little freak.

Slender hands touched his cheeks. Issara looked at him hesitantly before she kissed it. "Thank you… for listening."

"Anything for a kiss," He replied playfully. "Anyhow, we're in private and everything. Could you tell me about the amulet you gave me?"

She licked her lips nervously. That picture made his stomach twist with dirty thoughts. "I… got it from the Redcliffe castle… in-the Arl's study."

Thankfully, Alistair didn't seem to notice her lie. "…In The Arl's study? Then he must have... found the amulet after I threw it at the wall. He repaired and kept it? I don't understand. Why would he do that?"

"Perhaps… you mean more to him than you think."

Those words hit his heart. "I... guess you could be right. We never really talked that much, and then the way I left... I'll need to talk to him about this. If he recovers from his... when he recovers, that is. I wish I'd had this a long time ago."

"Yep, you should do that. He isn't your father, but at least he raised you. So, you owe him that much." She was going to leave his embrace but Alistair kissed her cheeks.

"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Your mother was right; you're a special person."

There was no sunshine outside, but her world was bright. Issara couldn't stop smiling. "It's alright. Well, sorry that I didn't give it to you sooner…"

"It's not a big deal, dear lady. I know how bashful you are."

"No I'm not!" Trying to save some dignity, she smacked his chest but that made him laugh louder. The sound she'd love to hear every day for the rest of her life.

But she couldn't, this wasn't her life. One day she would go home and he would make his family with someone. She knew all too well that she shouldn't fall for this ridiculously charming templar. Love only brought heartbreak.

"I better get up. Sten will chide me again if I oversleep."

"Wait a minute. I have something for you too." Alistair putted his hand inside his loose shirt, unconsciously showing his muscular body.

Issara couldn't take her eyes off of his bare chest. Just because she was a virgin it didn't mean that she had the purest heart. Besides, it's hard to resist beautiful six-pack like his.

He hid his grin. Her reaction gave him some confidence. In fact, he didn't have nerves enough to do this because he knew it was not the right thing but he couldn't keep it in anymore. His chest full was so of feeling, it might explode if he didn't let it out.

"Here, do you know what this is?" In his big hand was a red, soft and beautiful half-budded rose. Its velvet petals looked radiant even in dim light.

Wide brown eyes blinked rapidly at the rose. She tried to think about something eloquent, but, alas, the irritant attitudes always get the best of her. "Your new weapon of choice,"

"Yes, that's right." The ex-templar said with the cheeky grin, he carefully held the red flower in the fighting motion to an invisible foe. "Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements. Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!"

Unable to resist, Issara laughed loudly, making her stomach ache. Alistair looked at her face with soft eyes; it was good to see her bright smile again.

Swept the tears of mirth out of her face, the Lady Warden said. "Nice sentiment could be a great weapon. But where did you get it?"

"I just… I found it in Lothering. I remember thinking, 'How could something so beautiful exist in a place with so much despair and ugliness?' I probably should have left it alone, but I couldn't. The darkspawn would come and their taint would just destroy it. So, I've had it ever since."

"Lothering… it has been a long time. How could you keep it fresh?" She couldn't think of anything articulate enough, so she said about anything she could think of. Well, at least she didn't ask him about the weather.

"Potent lyrium can keep it fresh for very long time. I learned it from a sister in the Chantry that I grew up in." He too, didn't know what to say.

The silence just made them felt awkward. Issara broke it carefully. "And… what do you suppose you'll do with it?"

"I thought that I might give it to you, actually. In a lot of ways, I think the same thing when I look at you." Alistair stated. He ran his fingers through his hair awkwardly. "I guess it's a bit silly, isn't it? I just thought... here I am doing all this complaining, and you haven't exactly been having a good time of it yourself. You've had none of the good experience of being a Grey Warden since your Joining, not a word of thanks or congratulations. It's all been death and fighting and tragedy."

"I thought maybe I would say something." He continued with a red face, his eyes on everything but the woman before him. "Tell you what a rare and wonderful thing you are to find amidst all this...darkness."

The Lady Warden was shocked. She really didn't know what to say. Her hand slowly reached to the red rose while the tears shed from her eyes. Alistair started to panic.

"What… did I do anything wrong…?"

Sobbing and shaking, Issara shouted. "I hate you!"

Even Rabbit jumped in shock.

"What…?" Alistair asked confusing.

"Get out!" Issara shouted and throw her pillow to him. "Go to wherever you want. Just get out of my sight."

True be told, he didn't want to go anywhere. But when Issara began to search for her pistol, he had to move quickly. Anything could happen when she was angry or embarrassed.

The ex-templar and hound left the tent. Neither of them dared to challenge the Lady Grey Warden's command. However, even the cold rain couldn't calm his raging heart down.

…

Nothing lasts forever; an hour passed and rain stopped. The party readied to travel again. Everything seemed normal but the Grey Wardens. They looked displeased. Every time their eyes met, Lady Warden would look away while ex-templar would made hurt-puppy eyes.

These gestures never got out of the companion's sight. However, no one dared to question a frowning Issara. Even Morrigan tried to keep her mouth shut, at least till the gloomy Warden gave her a black book.

"This is… mother's Grimoire?" The witch exclaimed surprising. "Where did you find it?"

"In the First Enchanter's room, to be specific, it was in the old chest. I found it when I explored the room for some… clues. To be honest, I wanted to give you sooner but many things happen and I almost forgot it."

"But how could you know I wanted it? I never told you." Delighted, Morrigan asked with wide eyes. She looked like a little girl who got a new toy.

"Well, it was attached with a note: for Morrigan, with love from Flemeth." Issara said with deadpan face.

They were looking at each other until the elder woman laughed.

"Of course not, I saw with my gift that it belonged to Flemeth. But we couldn't run to her hut or send it back to her by FedEx. So I think you should have it."

Who could mad at that smile? Issara looked too delighted and lovely than she could bear. The witch growled and looked away. "What do you want in payment then?"

"Payment…? Oh, don't be ridiculous. It's a gift. Well, technically it's not mine, but you still should keep it anyway. I want nothing in return." Issara refused playfully, she almost spoke in a sing-song voice.

"But…" Morrigan wanted to say something but changed her mind. "Thank you. I always wanted to learn her secrets. 'Tis a great opportunity."

Her eyebrows arched in curiosity but she just shrugged. "It's my pleasure to help. But if you find anything interesting, please inform me."

"I knew what you want. If I found anything, you will be the first to know. You have my word."

"Sounds promising," Smiling, Issara folded her arms around the witch's neck in friendly hug. "Let's go. We have a templar to banter with. Perhaps we shouldn't stop until he dies in embarrassment."

Morrigan fell silent for awhile, and then laughed. Alas, she'd already caught the silly smile disease.

Alistair and Leliana looked at them in awe. Neither had ever seen the witch of the wilds laugh… a genuine laugh, not smirk or mockingly chuckle like she always did. Their leader just did an amazing thing.

"If there's anything about Issara that I hate most, it must be her attitude." The ex-templar grunted.

"Why did you say that?"

"Issara is too friendly. She could be friends with anything even animals, ghosts, and _that_ ass-assin." The tall Warden growled and pointed to an elf who was trying to flirt with the two raven haired women.

Leliana grinned widely. "You're jealous, aren't you?"

"What…? No, I'm not." The tips of his ears turned red and redder. "It's just… brotherly concern. I don't mean I want to keep her for myself or anything."

Damn his big-mouth. Alistair frosted from head to toe while the redhead grinned slyly.

"All right, I believe you. But just so you know, you better tell her your concern instead of keep it with yourself. Issara might be intelligent in many ways, but she doesn't know how much we are concerned about her."

After every fight, Issara would take care of everyone before herself. If they lacked health poultices or bandages, she would wait until they got some without complaining. These habits surely didn't bode well for her or Lillian's health.

"Why don't you tell her yourself?"

"I did, but she just smiled and told me don't to worry." The bard sighed. "Sometimes I hate that stubbornness."

The leader announced their course. The two friends stopped their conversation and followed the party quietly. Beside them, Zavren was walking in an unordinary silent fashion. Issara and Morrigan had just made him speechless for the first time in his life. When they worked together, no one could defeat those smart-mouths.

Alistair thought about what Leliana said. He rather agreed with the bard, his exotic Warden was stubborn like a mule. Issara tried to be a big girl and never showed her weakness to anyone. However, she was just a person and she needed someone to protect her sometimes.

Mentally swearing, the ex-templar eventually knew what he wanted to be. No matter how she felt about him, he would be her knight.

If there was anything he might hate about this woman, is must be the fact that he couldn't stop loving her.

…

Thank to 'Carve ur heart Out' for Beta. And thank everyone for reading. :)


	19. Amid the falling snow

Amid the falling snow

* * *

Sitting atop a maze of abandoned mining tunnels, Soldier's peak beholds forgotten history of the Ferelden's Grey Wardens in long glory day. Sadly, the treasonous rebellion against King Arland in the long time ago destroyed it and causes the Wardens to banish from Ferelden. One of all who lost in that time was Levi Dryden's great-great grandmother: Commander Sophia Dryden. What she'd done ruin her family, but they still looking forward to redeem. The merchant believed the proof that could help him clear Dryden's name was lying here but he couldn't do it alone. Duncan promised to help but the battle in Ostagar took him first. Then, Levi had to find another helper.

Two days ago, he actually bumped to Grey Warden's party while he was running from the highwayman. Lillian saved his hide that day, so they could introduce themselves. And when he knew who this lady and her knight were, he told them about his relationship with Duncan and the promise that old Warden made. Even though she didn't eager to help, she couldn't abandon the lost mentor's promise. That was why they arrived to this fortress at last.

Anyway, Lady Grey Warden didn't think they had been able to walk in and reclaim the keep. There're the problems in the air. They saw it since they passed the arch gate into the courtyard of the ancient fortress.

Beneath several layers of snow and ice, there're many corpses lying. Those became mummy by the cold and time, but still had the trace of violent. It's not hard to suppose what happened around here in the past.

Alistair looked at the keep and sighed. "Soldier's peak… it seems to use to have better day… better centuries, more like."

"They use to be respected and powerful, but now they accept even person like you." Morrigan snapped.

"Hey!" The ex-templar protested.

Wynne sighed. "Stop, you two acts like little children."

"They're look like newlywed." Zavren added. Obviously, he was waiting for the moment that he could make the witch angry.

It's work. The rivals stared at him like they wanted to eat him alive.

"W… Warden, I think you should do something before…" Levi turned to the leader who seemed saner than the rest of party. But she didn't stand beside him anymore. "Where's she?"

Rabbit barked. Call for anyone's attention while he was lying beside his mistress who was sitting on the road. Issara must fell because the cold but no one except the hound noticed that.

She never suffered the chilly temperature like this because her motherland is in tropical zone. So, she couldn't bear this cold. Her cloak and leather jacket didn't help much against the falling snow. When Alistair picked her up, her lips were green and her fingers almost freeze. Wynne cast healing spell on her, but the recovery process was too slow.

"We should move her inside. The keep must full of wreckages because it's long abandon, but is warmer than the outside." The senior Grey Warden suggested. "Sten, carry her. Wynne, please keep your eyes on her. Rabbit, you must guard her with your life. I, Zevran, Leliana and Morrigan will go inside to clear the way. When the keep is safe, I'll open the gate for you."

Everyone stared at him in surprise. Alistair never showed this ability before and no one expected him to be the leader. However, it seemed he could do anything to save his fellow Grey Warden.

Still shaking in Sten's arms, but at least she was conscious. Issara tried to speak but her throat was too sore. Her voice hoarse and didn't louder than whisper. "Be… careful."

Even in grave danger, she still concern about the other. Alistair wanted to kiss and hold her as tight as he able. However, he knew he had no right to do that. The Grey Warden just held her hand and promised. "I'll be back shortly. You must stay strong, understood?"

She smiled softly; the same smile he saw in their first meeting. That gave him confident and strength. No matter might happen he will protect this smile with his life.

Let that small hand gently, the ex-templar grabbed his weapon and commanded. "Let's go. We don't have much time."

…

Issara woke up on the dry bedroll. The room was rather dark but warm with fire in the large fireplace. She saw familiar silhouette of her companions around. They were sleeping on their bedroll, only the blond knight and the hound were sitting together near the fireplace.

None of them heard her footstep because she didn't ware her boots, so they're still talking about her even their subject was standing behind them.

"I don't understand. What did I done to deserve it?" Rabbit whined bored. He didn't listen what Alistair was saying. "Weren't the girls love flower? I thought that will comfort her but… she said she hate me. What the…"

"Freak she is..." Issara added and kissed his cheek.

The ex-templar gasped. His eyes were locking at her smiling face while she sat on her calves beside him. The hound almost instantly placed his head on her lap. "What is this for?"

"Hero deserves reward." She gave him brighter smile. "You did well today."

He grinned boyishly. "Just a cheek..?"

"Men…" Issara rolled her eyes. "Always wants more… OK, I might give you another one. But first, tell me what's happen when I slept."

"There're Demons and undead around, but we already cleared it. The first floor should be safe, at least for awhile."

"First floor… How far you went inside the keep?"

Tips of his ears turned red. "I…"

"Let me guess. You never make it to other floor." She knew that look. "It's alright. At least I have a warm place to rest. I must die out there if you didn't do what you done." Then, she kissed his cheek again.

"Just cheek..?" He moaned.

Her eyes lingered near his thin lips. She knew what he asked for. "You didn't complete the keep, remember? Show your manliness next time and I'll give you _another_ reward."

"But..?" Sounded hesitate, Alistair wanted to touch her cheeks but he didn't dare.

"What? Don't tell me you want something I can't give."

"No, I mean…" He really did upset. "You said you hate me, right? But now you… I don't understand."

Still petted Rabbit's head, Issara fell silent for awhile before smiled dryly. "I… I freak out. I didn't mean to say that but… Well, I just did upset, really upset. I never hate you, believe me."

They're sitting in the awkward silent till the lady decided to take it out of her chest.

"My father… he has the mistress. When I found out, I felt like he betrayed me, betrayed my mother. So, I didn't trust any man except my grandpas until… I met you." She touched his chest carefully. "You are only man I trust, Alistair, but I still... need time to adjust myself. Please forgive me for my stupidity."

Could he refuse those eyes? "Apologize accept, but I demand satisfaction."

Issara giggled, actually giggle. "You always get your way, right?"

"It's a part of my manly charm, dear lady." He leaned closer to ruby lips, slowly claimed it with his. This time she didn't resist.

Gentle and sweet, they savored each other in chaste kiss. Both have no idea about intimate relationship, just enjoyed accompany each other. Too bad, it had to end sooner than they expected.

Issara pushed herself from him. She looked around the room while Rabbit jumped to his feet and began to bark hostilely, which woke everyone up.

"Can anyone shut that mangy down?" Zevran murmured, tried to cover his head with pillow and continue sleeping.

Morrigan shoved him with her tip toe. "Get up, you fool. We have the company."

She was right. There's something in the air, it besieged them quickly. Alistair grabbed his sword and shield just in time before a rage demon hurled to him. Most of them didn't take their armor off, just grab their weapon and they ready to fight.

But someone took Issara's cestus and boots off and has no weapon in her hands. Anyhow, she had her way to fight. Thai's swordplay used many type of weapons, even a stick could be dangerous weapon if you know how to use it. Lady Warden grabbed a long stick that lied near the fireplace. It's a poor weapon but at least it's good for clobbered armored demon.

Thai's fighting is almost like the dance; swift, pretty but deadly. Issara knocked a Revenant out before Sten finished it. A Devouring Corpse's sword almost cut her by half if she didn't shield it with a stick. Alas, that cut it to be two short bludgeons.

"Gnarr… Did you think I am Bruce Lee?" She growled to the undead.

Leliana didn't understand that gag, but she thrown Katana to the owner anyway. "Here, take it!"

Grabbed the sheath with left hand, Issara spun around and unsheathed the blade in the same time. Momentum of spinning was enough to send the sharp metal gone through the midriff of poor undead and literally cut it by half.

It might in her blood, Issara get along with swordplay since she practiced with wooden sword. Despite have no war to fight, warrior's blood couldn't be diluted. She wielded the blade with wit and gut, without fear or hesitation. In fact, she enjoyed cutting her enemies apart, piece by piece.

Last demon had been slain, lady Warden wielded Katana in circle to get rid of stinky blood on it. The sound of sheathing blade scratched through the thin Veil. They could be safe, for awhile.

"I afraid we can't go back to sleep or wait for the dawn." Like she never caught Hypothermia, the leader declared with firm voice. "Grab your things. We will finish this keep tonight. This place won't be safe until the Veil have been mended."

…

Black magic, merciless massacre, creepy testing and unleashed devil; those sounded like scary movie's plot.

Along the way to the bloody lab in the tower, Issara found the records and other evident those told her about bloody history of Soldier's peak. When brought thing and thing together, the mystery became clear. Too bad, the fact wasn't something pleasant, especially for Levi.

"I can't believe that my great-great grandmother allowed her mages to use blood magic." The merchant whined.

Lady Warden didn't listen. She was reading Avernus' journey. It belonged to a blood mage who once cooked the ritual that torn the Veil for summon Demon from the Fade. The book was old, but still contented disgusting record of sick research. That mage tested his human subjects like guinea pig; let them died in torment just to absorb the result. All the time she read it, she had to cover her mouth to prevent vomit.

Last page suggested the last result. Issara almost didn't have to looking for it, devil aura around the red bottle dark enough to gloom the bloody room. The journal promised secret power of Grey Warden to anyone who drinks whatever inside it.

Avernus' fruit of success grew from the death, it surely gives supernatural power. Should she accept it?

Hesitate, Issara took the bottle while was thinking about pro and con. Her dark side tried to convince her to submit the power, but her light side tried to shut that voice down. It maybe different if she was here with her own body, at least she didn't have to worry about Lillian. Who know, it might have side effect that could destroy the last Cousland's flesh.

"_Think about what you swore to the good Couslands." _Her conscious warned. _"You won't live in this body for long, but Lillian will. You can't spoil her for your desire."_

But she couldn't put it down. Devil bottle seemed to glue with her hand until Alistair took it off and smash it to the wall.

Didn't concern about whatever the other might think, the knight held her tight and kissed her forehead. "You're already awesome without it."

Laughed with relief, Issara really wanted to kiss him. "Thank you."

They exchanged their glare, was willing to close the gap between them but Wynne cleared her throat. "We still have the task in hand, I think."

Bashfully, the Grey Wardens blushed, suddenly get off each other.

"Ah… yes, you're right. That demon suggested us to destroy everything magic in the tower, but I don't see anything like that around here. Perhaps we should go to the next room." Issara replied with wide eyes, tired to look innocent as much as she could.

Soldier's peak didn't literal abandon. More than demons and undead, other host was Commander Sophia; Levi's great-great grandmother. Well, it's not actually her. Her dry corpse still talked, walked and anything because she was possessed by demon. It wanted to roam in mortal's world but was trapped inside the keep. So, it offered the assist to seal the Veil, in exchange with its freedom.

Truly, Issara knew enough to not make the deal with the demon _again_. But if the Veil didn't have been seal, the keep won't be safe. No matter how moody she was, she had to accept it.

Anyhow, she knew her doesn't _that_ honest. Anything could happen until it really ends, and she also had plan for that demon.

Carelessly, the ex-templar opened the door and stepped into another room. "I wonder what we have to destroy. A magic ward, ancient relic or…"

It's a dim-light room, but Issara could see booby-trap that was lying on the floor. To be specific, it's in front of Alistair, and he was going to step on it!

She opened her mouth to stop him but nothing came out. Luckily, Zevran grabbed Alistair's collar and pulled him out. "Watch where you are going, Warden."

Surprising, everyone knew the ex-templar didn't like the assassin, but seemed an elf didn't have any vengeance toward the human.

However, he winked to the leader playfully. "Why's that look? I just did it because I don't want to see you cry over him, my beautiful Warden."

"I'm not…" She tried to protest even her cheeks completely red.

"I knew, I knew." The assassin stopped talking and unarmed the trap. He might loves to play with fire, but this woman was too dangerous when she rage. Icy glare and firm grip that she gave him in their second meeting still chilled his spine every time he thought about it.

Except that time, his leader was lovely. Too bad, she had her eyes on Alistair only. Despite her deny, she always looked at that human with dreamy eyes.

The trigger clicked. "Well done." Zevran announced.

"Wait…" Issara grabbed a torch from the wall. "It's too dark. We should be careful." Something really bad was waiting inside, she knew it. The ghosts' scream echoed in the large room sounded like deathly symphony, many people died here and didn't because natural cause.

She forced herself to step in, tried hard to not scream and runaway. This darkness and voice remind her of her scary childhood; the day before her grandpa gave her magical protection. However, every step she took made she felt like she was alone in that room again.

Someone took her hand. She winced in shock and froze from head to foot.

"I'm here." Familiar voice soothed. The blond knight held her hand that gave her the warm in the heart.

How could he know? She never told him that she was Achluophobia. Perhaps she couldn't hide it like she thought she did, or perhaps he just…

Issara turned to Alistair. She saw those honey brown eyes were looking at her, told her without word: "I'm always here for you."

Held his hand tight in return, she felt stronger then ever.

Sten lit the torches inside the room, lighten it and revealed the cause of disgusting smell. Hangings on the stone wall were several cages those contained skeletons of humanoid. On the ground, there're two pits with spikes and dried corpses. If those didn't dreadful enough, there's another corpse was pining like a bug in Entomologist's collection at the opposite side of the room.

"What the hell this place is?" Alistair cursed. He unconsciously held his fellow Grey Warden protectively.

"Whoa!" Lady Warden untied herself from his grip. "You don't fear the corpse, do you?"

He replied innocently. "I'm just a little frighten."

"Then, you should remove your hands before I'm _furious_." She growled.

"Your desire is my command." Whispered huskily and stepped away before Issara blast out.

Cheeks crimson in embarrassment seemed like a big tomato, but she still had job to do. Lady Grey Warden ignored the annoying Templar and walked forward to a large table that was standing still at another side of the room.

On the chair, there's something that looked like another dried corpse was sitting still. Only one source of light was a torch nearby, which showed them a ton of papers spatter on the table.

However, when Issara stepped closer, that mummy moved. She gasped in shock as the dried body came to live.

"Oh, looked like I fall asleep again." A man... or something like that said and stretched his body.

Issara blinked. She knew he wasn't an undead or demon, but barely sure if he was human. From the look, this one seemed like mummy more than living creature.

The leader said nothing until the mystery man saw her. "Pardon me, but I didn't expect any visitor."

His robe have an emblem of Griffon; Grey Warden's symbol. However, that doesn't make him trustable. Issara sensed the wicked from him.

"Who are you?" She asked, still held her blade.

"Name is Avernus. I am a Grey Warden, and as you might already knew, I also a Mage." The old man answered.

"Avernus, but you... you're in the rebellion against King Arland. How could you live for so long?"

"The chantry is foolish to abandon blood magic. I found its secret that gave me more time to live and do more research. But if you don't mind, can I have your name?" The old Mage seemed eager to talk. He must didn't have someone to talk with for very long time.

From one of many books she ever read, it said people could lose their mind if they were alone for too long. Perhaps she should be more polite with him. "I'm Lillian, of the Grey Wardens. I and my friends came here for some answer."

Avernus glanced at the rest of the party; most of his interest was merchant Levi. "I remember this one. He used to wonders near the tunnel that lead to this keep. So I called him to here."

The merchant confused. "You called me?"

"I contacted you through the Fade and guide you here. Do you really believe you can find the way yourself?"

"Let's go to the point." Lady Warden interrupted. "You summoned Levi for some reason, perhaps you need some help."

"It is obvious, isn't it? You must already meet those undead and demons, especially dear commander Sophia. My magic cages it in this area. If I die, it will be free. So I need someone to take care of it, before my time come."

Truth be told, it's hard to believe if a mad Mage who sacrificed people for his research would want to undone his fault for greater good. Issara felt paranoid.

"Well, I won't let it go anywhere, you have my word. But before that, I have some question."

"Then ask, I will answer as best as I can."

"I knew from the proof around here that Commander Sophia allowed you to summon the demon from the fade and also allowed you to do research with people, was it true?"

He didn't look please. "We have no choice."

"It true, I take it." Could she blame him? It's the war, and people could do anything for survive in the bad time like that. This was a reason why she hated war. "Alright, another question,"

…

Things never easy, but Issara always found her way to solve every problem. Next evening, Soldier's peak came to peace again. The Veil had been repair, demon had been killed and Avernus was still living alone in the tower. The Grey Wardens and companions have a day to rest before back to the road again.

Alistair was finding for his fellow Grey Warden, but she was nowhere to be found. So he went to the last place in his mind: the tower.

He found the slender body was standing in silent of falling snow, black cloak on her was floating looked like she was going to fly away from the long bridge that connect between the keep and the tower. Issara said nothing, but he knew her silent wasn't the good thing.

"Issara, what's happen?"

She looked at him with painful expression. There's remnant of tear on her pink cheeks. "Nothing, I just revisit to asked Avernus about something and his answer was... not good."

"Issara, you knew you can tell me anything." The ex-Templar tried to compromise.

But she shook her head. "Let's go inside, I don't want to catch Hypothermia again."

Something's wrong, very wrong. Alistair wanted to know what in his unpredictable woman's mind, so he followed her to the commander's chamber that now was her room.

Issara seemed lost in her thought. She undressed herself to go to bed without notice his presence until he cleared his throat.

"Can we talk?" He turned away, tried to not look at her glory.

Bashfully, the lady folded herself with blanket. If the man in front of her not Alistair, he might got one or two bullets in his lags.

"Not when I ware only my smallclothes." She refused. "Give me a minute to change, please."

Still looked at the door, "Should I wait outside?"

Devilish smile appeared on her face. "Nope, you can stay. If you will be a good Warden and stay still when I naked."

He growled. This wicked woman always banter him because she knew he wouldn't accept her challenge. Too bad, she was right. Although he had many fantasies about her in his lonely tent, he had no nerve to make it real.

Closed his eyes, the ex-Templar tried to not imagine what happen behind him. He waited patiently until Issara called.

"It's alright. You can look now."

But she wasn't exactly dressed. Her shirt covered the upper part of hers, but beneath that was only a blanket. She just warped herself with sheet like her people did in the old time. However, it looked exotic in Alistair's mind.

Those brown eyes glared at him confusing while she was waiting for any respond. She was familiar with it, so she didn't realize how strange her dressing style was.

"As I recall, I think you have something to talk." Run out of patience, Issara asked him seriously.

Alistair downed to earth. "Oh..! Right, I want to talk about what you said. What did you ask Avernus and what was his answer?"

She didn't surprise to hear that question but she still didn't sure if she should tell him. Lady Warden opened her mouth to speak but changed her mind. It repeated for several time before she made the decision. "Alright, you're Grey Warden too, so you have the right to know it. Tell me: have you ever doubt about why the Grey Wardens are in need for end the Blight?"

"Sometime… Did you ask Avernus about it?"

"Yes, and he answered honestly. He told me when the archdemon dies; its essence would go to another darkspawn. In another word, the archdemon is immortal… unless it had been slain by the Grey Warden."

The ex-templar unconsciously dumped on the bed, totally upset. "It isn't good, is it?"

"If you were that Warden, the answer is yes. The archdemon would possessed the darkspawn easily because it just an empty shell, there're no soul. But if its essence went to the Grey Warden who chops its head, its soul would be destroyed… so the Grey Warden." She sat down beside him, covering her face with her hands in despondent.

"That mean… the Grey Warden who kill the archdemon will…die."

Reached for his hand, Issara still forced herself to smile. "Well, I have more news. It isn't good either. Do you still want to hear?"

Unconsciously, the senior Warden folded his arms around her possessively. "I don't, but I think you will say it anyway."

That little fist smacked him lightly. "Yes, I want to get it off my chest. I… think I found out about demon's game."

"What is it?"

"I can't tell how I knew it but… I rather sure I have to be the one who take the final blow." Her smile hid more than one secret. "Look at the bright side; we don't have to worry about the compromise between my mission and yours."

But he still doubted. "What will happen after that? You will die…"

"Not exactly, I just go back home. Well, I hope that won't hurt Lillian and she will comeback after I gone."

They fell to silent. The room was so quiet, almost could hear the sound of snow outside. Neither of them certain in that theory, but didn't dare to speak their mind. Just held each other and savored precious moment, they wished it could be last.

_Why the Maker was so cruel?_ Alistair wondered. He finally found a woman he care but she couldn't be his. Why she wasn't just ordinary person? He didn't care if she was a farm girl, servant of even a thief, if only they could spent the rest of their life time together…

Soft snore brought him back to reality. He looked down and found Issara was leaning with his shoulder, sleeping like a child. After all these madness, she must was so tire.

As gentle as he could manage, the knight laid her on soft bed and covered that slander form with fur. However, when he tried to leave, a little hand grabbed his tunic tightly. She murmured in her half sleep. "Stay… the bed is warmer when we share. And I do trust you won't try anything funny."

She didn't fear to have him in her bed, this wasn't the first time they shared it anyway. The first night they had left Flemeth's hut after survived Ostagar, they didn't have many necessary gears with them. The old woman donated them a bedroll and a blanket. In the cold night, they have no choice but share each other warm. However, Alistair proved himself trustable. He wasn't trying anything funny even she unconsciousness curled against his body like little cat in middle of the night.

Just like that night, Alistair obeyed her command with smile on his face. He lied down beside her and tried to keep his hands for himself. There's a line that they shouldn't cross, he would savor only what he deserve.

* * *

Last year, I had a trip to north Korea. This is the first time I go to other country. Too bad, Korea's weather in that time was too cold for my body. I almost got Hypothermia, then I swore I won't go to anywhere that cold again. For the rest of the trip...well, I could say Korea made me love my motherland more.


	20. That the way it is

I decide to twist the plot. Anyway, I think it already twist since the begining. Perhaps it isn't hurt if I will add more spices into this story.

**

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That The Way It Is**

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"Okay, this is warm. But it makes me feel like I am a bear." Issara told Leliana, half joke half serious. "Well, good thing that no PETA around here."

In repay for her service, Levi gave her a thickest and biggest fur he had. It's warm, indeed. But also made she looked like a little brown bear, especially while she walked in silly rhythm because she shook with chilly.

Luckily, there's no any fighting since they said goodbye to the merchant in the morning. Issara couldn't move freely in this heavy fur but if she didn't ware it the cold might kill her as well. Perhaps she should make small heater that could keep her warm in between the long walk.

Back to Highever, that place wasn't this cold in the time she lived there and she had no idea about outside world, so she never thought about making an overcoat or anything like that. And any time she thought about buying warmer cloth, she always had something more important to spend her gold with. She never expected to live luxuriously, thus she didn't worry about more suitable cloth until Hypothermia almost kill her.

She didn't careful enough, what ashamed…

"If every bear were so adorable like this, I think I want to adopt it one." The bard replied playfully and held the leader like she was a teddy bear.

Blushing hard, Issara shouted while Leliana sway her around. Lady Warden was trapped hopelessly in a brown fur, seemed like a big yam roll. "Stop, Lea! This is abusing."

The redhead giggled. She really like this Warden and enjoyed made her flush in embarrassment. "I never heard the bear speak. You're surely not one of them."

"Don't jump to conclusions, I'm one of kind, you know." Issara replied with a wide smile.

The sun almost touched the middle of sky. Their journal seemed quite peaceful for a half of day, so everyone loosed their guard. Even Sten ate his cookies while was walking in ease. Two women were talking and banter each other until Issara noticed something faraway on the road ahead.

The road wasn't on flatland, some boulders and died trees blocked the view and snow also dyed the land to white forest. If wasn't because she had telescope, she might couldn't see the fighting between an elf girl and several men.

Her fight was so impressive. Not everywoman especially the elf could handle five men with her daggers. However, a few water couldn't putting out a fire. If the Grey Warden didn't do anything soon, the brave elf might fall.

"There's a woman in trouble on the road ahead. We must help her." The leader commanded.

Leliana and Zevran tried to use their bow, but it's too far. Thus they had to run to fighting ring.

Somehow, Issara afraid they couldn't arrive there in time. Perhaps this was a good time for testing her war crossbow's ability. The inventor attached a small scope to her crossbow and then sat down on one knee for better accuracy. Computed the wind's speed carefully, and then shot.

The female elf fought with all of her abilities. Three bandits fallen by her blades but the rest still were surrounded. Her light leather armor couldn't protect her when those blades came from several directions. Bleeding wounds just made thing worse, some blood seeped into her eyes, disturbed her sight. She didn't sense a stealthy bandit that was trying to stab her from behind.

Fortunately, that dagger stopped and fell to soft snow before it could touch her pale skin. The elf completely shocked while was looking at a bolt that came from nowhere and now stuck in the bandit's socket.

The fighting stopped. Those men tried to flee but the Grey Warden's companion ran to them first. Wynne cast healing spell on the bleeding elf while the rest of party handled bandits.

Healed, but pretty elf still sat on the ground, watching her saviors saved the day. Human, elf, dog and… whatever, these strangers fought to protect a pitiful elf like her. This sounded… strange, because most of human never cared about the knife-ears.

A big hand appeared before her eyes cause her to realize her situation. She smiled to a knight in shining armor and gave him her hand even there's a dagger in another hand.

"Are you all right?" He asked politely while helped her to stand.

Full helmet covered his face, but she remembered that voice. "Alistair, it's you? Maker's blood, I thought you're dead."

Confused, the Grey Warden glared at her blankly until she removed her helmet. He could recognize this face anywhere. "Millar, I thought you… you're in the battlefield with Duncan and other Grey Wardens. How could you..?"

Issara who arrived just after the last bandit has been slain stared at both suspiciously. She had a bad feeling about this. "You'd know each other?"

"Of course, she is Millar; a Grey Warden likes us. Duncan recruited her just recently before he recruited you. Well, she wasn't in our camp when you were so you two might never met. Millar, this is Issa… Lillian, she is our sister as well." He introduced happily, almost too happily in Issara's thought.

Brown eyes glazed Millar's arms those were holding around Alistair's arm seriously. She tried to polite but couldn't conceal a hint of jealousy in her voice. "Oh, this is very pleasant news. The failing at Ostagar is terrible, I'm glad to see other survivors."

There's a knowing smile on elven Grey Warden's face. "Good to see you two are well too. I fled just after the king fell and tried to go to Denerim but I couldn't enter the city. Tyern Loghain blames The Grey Wardens for the king's death and also puts the bounty on us. These men were bounty hunters. I don't want to think about what they're intent to do with me if you didn't come."

As the feminist, those words calmed Issara down in sympathy. "I knew what you mean. However, we couldn't just run and let Ferelden fall. I and Alistair have the plan to gather the army to stop the Blight. In the time like this, every Grey Wardens are needed. You ought to join us."

Millar looked at junior Warden and smiled wider. This one was a good and brave person, she could feel hope for herself and Ferelden. "I appreciate your intention. I, myself lost my purpose since most of us died in Ostagar, but I'll follow you to stop the Blight. This is all I can do for Duncan and my people."

"It's my honor to have you with us. Your talent is very impressive. I hope I could learn something from you."

The beautiful elf looked at Issara crossbow with respect. "I'm not sure about that. You look capable enough, especially with that crossbow. I never seen anyone could shoot from that long distant even if they use longbow."

"Well, better tool is better chance. I could do it only because I have some awesome gadgets with me, but my most strength is my friends." The generous leader replied proudly. "Welcome to our family. Come, you need new cloth and Wynne will take care of your wound. After that, I'll introduce you to all of us."

…

Zevran seemed so happy with new companion. Even though Millar didn't interest to flirt with him, the assassin thought she just tried to play hard to get. The ex-crown so proud of himself, he wouldn't admit the truth that both Ladies Grey Wardens didn't interest in handsome elf like him.

Anyhow, he looked hurt while elven Warden and Alistair looked so… acquainted. That night, two Wardens sat near the fire and talked about many things. The ex-templar seemed to forget everything except a woman beside him until Issara retired to her own tent. He looked after exotic Warden with doe-eyes, didn't know he was observed by another Warden.

"Well, you two are… close, aren't you?" Millar asked with devilish grin.

"What..? Oh, Issa… Lillian and I are just friends. We gone through so much together, so we're… closest friends." Alistair tried to conceal his feeling. He knew he shouldn't love her in that way.

"Issa… I thought I heard that for several time. What the name you really call our bright leader?"

Exclude Zev, most of the companion knew Issara's story. And they agreed to keep it secret; only the exotic Warden was the one who decide to reveal it to anyone. Thus, he shouldn't tell Millar the true without permission.

"Issara is…Lillian's nickname. She prefer to call herself with that name, so I more familiar with it than another."

"Oh…" Elven Warden exclaimed. "I wonder what it means."

"It means freedom in… some language. She said it is men's name but I thought it suit her well."

"You seem to know a lot about her, Ali." Millar cheered.

_Ali… hah, they're sure close._ The assassin thought. _I wonder what our fearless leader will think about it._

He went to Issara's tent, but she didn't there. The exotic Warden was far from camp, sparring with cold wind. Her movement looked terrific, she must be very angry. No matter how good she looks in those leather and sweat, he wouldn't dare to interrupt her practice.

However, Zev still hid in the shadow, observed her fighting's form. She was slim woman, almost lack of strength but swift. He remembered the bar-fight at Spoil princess tavern. Lady Warden had no any weapon but only her body and gut, which could kill his best men. Those feats and gadgets she had seemed so exotic, he doubt if she was really ordinary former-noble.

Every time he talked about this to other companions, they would try to change the subject. All right, it's a wise decision that to not trust the assassin so fast but it made him felt awkward sometime.

Lady Lillian Cousland must die, and in the worst way he could manage; that was Arl Howe told him. That worm seemed to desperately hate this woman. Grey Warden or no, she really had effect on people.

Those fists in cestus stopped moving. Issara raised her palms together then closed her eyes to calm herself down. Still standing, she chanted in silent. The assassin overheard a few, but he rather sure that doesn't Ferelden's language.

Curiously kill the cat. He lingered too long, so she could sense suspicious creature and hailed with her throwing dagger.

Sharpen and heavy blade was thrust to hard wood of old tree that was sheltering him, miss his forehead just a few inches. Guess that because she thought he was human of something that taller than elf.

"If you want to end your life, I suggest you to run to the first group of darkspawn we might meet tomorrow." Issara said with deadpan while retrieved her knife from the tree.

From the dim light, sweat those were clinking on her now almost tan skin looked like golden gown. Lillian's appearance was so elegant, contrast with her manly manners. This paradox mixture made a most ridiculous awesome woman he ever had known.

"I can see you have so bright opinion, but no, I'm not looking for death anytime soon." Zev tried to eloquent. "And before you ask, I'm not trying to kill you as well."

Issara didn't say anything because she was thinking about tell him her story. The assassin doesn't a fool, he probably figure it out soon or later. It would be awkward if he think she didn't tell him because she doesn't trust him. Despite a few time, he proof himself useful and trustable enough in fighting, even saved Alistair's life. Perhaps he deserved the truth.

"I never thought you will try, at least this so soon." Issara dumped herself to the ground. "Well, let's find some place to sit down. I have something to speak with you, probably long story."

The assassin seemed amuse. "This should be good, unless you made me tell my embarrass story again."

Lady Warden chuckled. She never like the playboy, but at least Zev was funny enough to talk with… when he didn't try to flirt with her, anyhow. "Not exactly, your story is funny. But no, I'm not trying to make you embarrass. That will be a hard work."

"What a relief. Well, what do you want to ask?" The elf said and than sat down beside her.

"Um… In fact, I want to tell you something. But it's a bit complicated and long. Do you have time to listen?"

He just nodded.

"Alright, I will start from the beginning." She sighed. "As you might already notice, I'm not ordinary human. And I'm certainly not Lady Lillian Cousland."

…

There's an old proverb: If you hold too many secrets, your chest will burst. It a bit exaggerate, but everyone knew how uncomfortable they felt when wants to talk about something but couldn't. After told Zev about her true identity, Issara felt her chest lighter.

His respond was better that she expected, he even appreciated her for the trust and vowed to not spread her secret to anyone else. However, he seemed curious in her world. The elf loved that her homeland had no racist, which gave her open mind. He might never show it, but he still proud of his heritage. It would be worse if he have to work with someone who had bad attitude toward the elves.

Now, there's only one person to talk with. She ought to tell Millar as well, but not tonight. Just because that woman was a Grey Warden doesn't mean she could be trust.

Fate had its way, but her presence disturbed it. Only thing she could do to prevent worse trouble was trying to keep her story and knowledge as secret as she able.

However, she had to admit that she didn't trust Millar because she felt jealous. The way that elven Warden looked at Alistair made her stomach knot. If he responds with equal passion, Issara might lose her self-control. No matter how everyone compliment her, she knew she was just a person who full with emotion and selfish. Alistair couldn't be hers, but she couldn't see him be with another woman. Just thought about it could break her heart.

Fidgeting in her tent, she tried to sleep but her mind couldn't stop thinking about those real Grey Wardens. She couldn't medicate so she worked out alone in order to calm herself down. Now Lillian's body was so tired but Issara's consciousness still rousing. If she didn't do something, she wouldn't get any rest. The trip tomorrow must be the cruel ordeal.

Had no clock, but she rather sure it must passed midnight for an hour or so. The temperature outside must be so cold, probably good for cool hot head down.

Only in her simple cloth, Issara rushed from her tent for some air. Rabbit that was guarding her tent seemed to confuse but still followed her without any question.

Even in vulnerable state, she still knew that roaming in the dark wasn't a good idea. So the exotic Warden walked to the fire, keep herself warm and safe. Well, technically… she kept herself and Lillian saved.

True be told, she hated that she had to live in this flesh. Every time she looked into the mirror, she saw Lillian's face. Day after day, she felt like her identity slowly faded away. Perhaps this body was trying to banish Issara from its. And if that happen before she could kill archdemon, she might lose demon's game.

She might imagined it, but she knew damn sure that demon wasn't let her win so easily. Along the way to her goal, there's a ton of problems were waiting.

Sighed, she pressed both thumbs to small area between eyebrows, massage it carefully. She used Thai's massage to relieve the tension in her head. This technique is marvelous but could cause some pain if you did it wrong.

The cold touched her skin lightly. Issara shivered a little until a soft, thick and warm sheet was covered on hers.

No need to looked, she remembered that manly and quaint smell on the fur. She never had known how Alistair did that, but he seemed to know if she had bad feeling. Every time her mood gone worse, he would popped from somewhere and raised her up in any way he was able.

"Can't sleep, hah?" The ex-templar sat down near her.

"I… have many things in my mind." Exotic Warden replied and tightened the fur around her body, trying to hide herself from his glare. She didn't ware bra and her cotton tunic couldn't hide the twin mountain on her upper body. The innocent chantry-boy might nosebleed to death if he saw it.

"Do you want to share? I might not be able to give you any advice but I have plenty of time to listen."

She loved that idea, but the voice from another side of her mind told her another thing. "Do you? I thought you're busy talking with Millar."

Alistair couldn't stop grinning. "Did I just detect jealousy?"

_Damn, he saw right through me!_ "No, you didn't. I afraid your sense betrayed you again, ser knight."

Yes, that was his girl. She not admitted anything so easily. "I got it. I got it from you yet. You're the most complicated woman I ever had known, dear lady."

Issara pouted. All she wanted was peaceful rest, but he just made it harder. "Thank for your compliment, handsome. But I don't need such a prince charming to keep me company. You're free to go anywhere you desire."

"Handsome…?" He repeated. "And prince charming,"

"That is mockery. Don't so excite." She snapped. Her cheeks were lightly pink because of anger.

His patience had the limit. Alistair began to moody and also intent to bother his little freak. Instead of leaving, he leaned back and was propping himself with both hands. It seemed like he was going to settle down there. "I'm good here."

Fine, if he didn't go, she would.

Issara was going to leave, but her stupid templar didn't allow that. Faster than she ever had known him were able to, that big hand grabbed hers and pulled slander figure to his lap. Shivering and angrily, the lady writhed, trying to escape from him. However, she didn't shout or anything because she didn't want to wake the entire camp.

He never did anything like this. Even though he always wanted to have his little freak in his arms, he never wanted to do anything that against her wish. But this time was different. He wanted to show her his feeling, even if it might cause him a slap or more.

No influence of alcohol, Alistair let's his heart guided him this time. His thin lips captured the full ruby of hers in passionate kiss. Issara stiffed at first, but after a few second, she allowed herself to enjoy it. Her arms folded around his neck while he was crushed her body with his, possessive and fascinating.

When they separated to gasped for air. Their face flushed like just gone through the tough fighting.

"Issara," He whispered. "I knew I shouldn't have this feeling for you but… you're only woman I care, a great deal."

She was going to weep in both joy and pain. This man was everything she wanted for her entire life, but she couldn't have him. His kiss just cut her heart deeper than his smile did.

"I'm sorry, Alistair. But I don't think about you like that." She lied, for their sake. "Now let go of me."


	21. Bad romance

Thing is: because of some problem, so I have no Beta anymore. Now I have to release unedited version. If there's any grammar error or something else, please forgive me.

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**Bad romance**

**

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**

As someone who had price on her head, some disguise should be a wise choice. Instead of just walk into Denerim: Ferelden's capital city in her exotic leather armor, Issara wore a robe that borrowed from Wynne. However, she really didn't use to with high-cut dress, so she still wore tight leather breeches beneath it.

Leliana help her putted it on. All the mean time, the bard complained about their lack of ribbons and whatnot, so she couldn't adorn the leader's silky hair like Orlesian's noble. But true be told, Lady Warden started to think about ban those things in their party.

When she came out from Leliana's tent, Zevran whistled in high pitch, which made her automatic covered her low-neck collar with her hand.

"I think that mean you look stunning in this dress." The bard winked.

Issara's heart ached. They saw Lillian; beautiful Teyrn Cousland's daughter, not her. She rather sure they would say different if they see humble Issara who was working in smithy all day and night.

"Let's pack our things." Grievances gave her nothing, so the leader ignored it and continued her plan. "We will have some proper bed tonight. I don't know anything about this city, but I'm sure they have the inn with affordable price."

They packed their things and kept most of it on Bodahn's cart, took only necessary supply with them. Alistair helped Millar placed her tent in the cart, but almost drop it while his eyes met frowning Warden in blue robe.

Those raven eyebrows knotted in painfulness. Her eyes were traveling between brunet and blond hair Warden. They seemed close and… fit with each other. She tried to think that was a good thing. Alistair was a good man, and he deserved a good woman who could share the lifetime with him.

However, when she realized he was watching, Issara covered herself with dark cloak and walked away. He didn't follow, which made her sighed in relief.

"When we inside, you all can go anywhere or buy anything you want. All I ask is you must comeback." The leader announced without watching her companion. "I will wait in the nearest inn… Anyone know a good place?"

"I suggest Gnawed Noble Tavern." The bard offered. "It's a bit expensive, but more suitable for you than the Pearl."

"Why? I don't mind to rest in less luxury hotel if it could save our money."

The assassin chuckled. "Well, I agree with lovely bard. Someone like you shouldn't go to the place like that."

"What do you mean about 'someone like me'?" Still confused, Issara asked.

Millar looked amusing with that question. "The Pearl is brothel, Issara, the famous one. I heard about it since I was running in Alienage."

_How could Millar know her true name?_ The exotic Warden glazed at the ex-templar questioning. He coughed awkwardly, which only displeased her.

"Alright, I'll wait at Gnawed Noble Tavern after I finish discussing with Brother Genitivi. Now let's move." Furiously, she stormed into the city, didn't care if her companion wasn't follow.

…

The market district is a busy place. Like the big city in her world, people don't mind about the other's business. With her disguise, she might could blend with the crowd and keep unnoticed.

She had only her blades those were covered under the cloak. Issara and Rabbit roamed together passed many shops and people. The Ferelden's native seemed friendly with a little smiley woman. A sweet merchant gave her something looked like cotton-candy for free. In happiness moment, she forgot her situation and saluted him by raised her palms together in Thai's manner. That was cute but very strange.

Millar glared her leader curiously. However, when she tried to ask, she was interrupted by Leliana.

"Oh… spun sugar, I bought a confection of it here once. It got stuck in my hair. Made it hard to comb out but it was very tasty for a few days." The bard cooed.

Devilish grin appeared on exotic Warden's face. Ex-lay sister knew that look, so she began to step backward.

"No, don't do that. I don't want to cut my hair again."

"Nah, it's not hurt a bit." Issara smiled wider and stepped closer.

"Nooooooooooooooo!" Leliana shouted and ran.

…

Alistair was standing in front of Wade's Emporium, eyeing at nearby house. He was going to knock on that door but the image of Issara was chasing screaming Leliana around the market attracted him first.

Her smile never failed to make him smile back. Although she couldn't be his, he still loved to see it shine on her lovely face. Her words last night still stung his heart, but that couldn't change his feeling for her. He would be her knight until she could back to her home, no matter what the cost.

However, the bard ran to him and pleaded. "Help me."

The knight didn't even move, while Leliana used him as her shelter, which cause Issara ran to him. She couldn't break in time, so suddenly crushed to his armor.

"Oww… That's hurt." She whined and rubbed a red bump on her forehead.

Leliana giggled. And then ran again when the frowning Warden shot her with furious glare.

Those cheeks still red, but also redder when a hand under Gauntlet touched it softly. "Are you all right?"

"It had to be more than a crush to kills me." She tried to joke. Even she knew it wasn't true. Her crush on him might kill her someday.

Then, he forged a smile. "Perhaps I shouldn't worry at all. You're strongest woman I've ever known."

But their eyes said another word. Issara swallowed that feeling and pushed herself off him. "Yep, you're right and I think I shall find Brother Genitivi's house now. See you later."

"I'll go with you." Alistair insisted firmly.

"Nah, I just pay an old man a visit. What in the hell could happen to me?"

"Everywhere we go full of problem, remember? Beside, we're weak if we don't stay together. I won't let you go anywhere without me."

"But I… alright, as you wish my prince,"

The bastard prince groaned. "Don't call me that."

Issara smiled dryly. She knew he hate that true. "Well, tell me: Have Millar known your secret?"

"No, she hadn't."

"Are you going to tell her?" _Like you tell her mines…_

He seemed hesitate, but answered at last. "I don't have many choices, I think. Have another angry woman around doesn't sound like a good plan."

"Good," Lady Warden sighed. "However, she is Grey Warden. Perhaps we should bring her to Brother Genitivi too."

"You're right. I'll fetch her." And then, he disappeared into the crowd.

Issara sighed and leaned herself to nearby wall. She was eating spun sugar while a man in stain armor walked to her with hesitate look.

"Are you… a Grey Warden?"

She pretended to play with a confection of spun sugar in one hand, while another was fishing for a smoke bomb in her pocket. "That depends on… who you are."

"I'm Sergeant Kylon: an officer of the Denerim city guard." He hurried continue when those red eyebrows arched. "No need to be alarm, even if I believe in _official_ story about Ostagar, I'm not stupid enough to offend you."

Issara looked around. This man didn't bring his men with him; maybe he really meant no harm. "That sounds reassuring. But how could you know who I am?"

"They sent the explanation about you. Even it doesn't do you much justice."

Yeah, another compliment for Lillian, Issara felt nothing about it. "What's your business? The city guard doesn't just talk with Grey Warden for kill damn time, yes?"

"Actually, I just want to warn you. There're the bounty hunters looking for the Grey Wardens everywhere. I'm sure you would resist and cause some problem, so I suggest you to keep thing quiet and leave as soon as you are able."

"Oh… that sounds like threaten. Are you sure you don't want to arrest me?" Her smile changed to fiercely. She might have no intention to fight, but she never hesitated to do it if that's necessary.

The sergeant seemed awkward. "If I asked my men to apprehend you, they'd all run and cry big, sobby tears in their courtesan's bosoms and leave me all alone to be skewered."

"Hah… I thought the guard must tougher than that. Did you recruit spoiled children or anything?"

"Closely enough, they came from noble families. I really have no idea why Arl Howe keep sent them to being guards." Perhaps he wanted to get it off his chest, Kylon told her with obvious annoyance.

Spun sugar in her hand was crushed. Issara clenched her hand tight, totally lost her thought. "What? Arl Howe is here?"

"In the Arl of Denerim's estate, if he didn't go anywhere yet. For all I had known, he occupy that place just recently after the riot in Alienage and the fall at Ostagar." Still didn't see her change, the sergeant talked freely. "I heard the rumor that he was doing something terrible to his prisoners. But no one can do anything with that because he is Teyrn Loghain's right-hand."

Highever's burned, Ostagar's fell and those murderers… this couldn't be coincident. Surely Rendon Howe was a maggot, but he wasn't a fool. He should know that his treacherously would be punished, so he didn't betray Teyrn Bryce Cousland in the first place. But what changed his mind?

Regardless of his madness, Loghain still was a capable man. He surely had planned this scheme for some time. Considered from their relationship, Issara rather sure they cooperated with each other in order to get what they wanted.

Howe wanted to raise his status, while Loghain wanted to eliminate Teyrn Cousland because if that noble man still alive, surely he will march his army to hunt the betrayer down.

That sounded very make sense.

However, that wasn't important. They would get what they deserve anyway. And because Howe was nearest, he would get it sooner. Good thing that her paternal grandfather was an old marine who crazy enough to taught his granddaughter to kill the target with 'quick and quiet' tactic.

Issara smiled to herself. Murder is a sin, but she glad to go to hell if that give her a chance to bring Howe to justice. It's worthwhile to eradicate those scums for great cause.

"I appreciate your concern, sergeant. And I promise I will try my best to avoid any problem. Anyhow, can you tell me about the riot?"

…

"Do you know who you're talking with?" Big guy with a great sword asked. He seemed arrogant and eager to bring the fighting up. "We are the White Falcons: the mightiest mercenaries in Ferelden. And we…" Blah, blah and blah,

Issara sighed. _How could I bring myself into this?_

It began when they went to Brother Genitivi's house. Instead of simple meeting with the old man, they met a young man that claimed himself as Weylon; Brother's servant. He seemed friendly at first, but when Issara found out he was lying, he tried to attack them with blood magic. Luckily, the exotic Warden who was standing in front of him startled and involuntarily kicked his chin. Just one hit and he couldn't cast any spell forever.

There's no problem in searching the house. They found Brother Genitivi's research, which indicates the old man was headed for the Village of Haven in search for the Andraste's Ashes. But thing never be easy, they also found body of real Weylon. Issara thought it would be cruel if they left the poor man to rot like that, so she told the good sergeant about two bodies in that house. Kylon promised to take care of it, but the Grey Wardens had to do some job for him in return.

That job was to get rid of a group of mercenaries: the White Falcons that caused some trouble in the Pearl. Although the sergeant didn't mention what was the problem they made, she thought she started to realize it.

_If I let him talk, he might keep doing it till the world's end. Better shut him up._

Beyond anyone's thought, the exotic Warden unsheathed Katana. Next second, the sharp metal stopped on his cheekbone.

"You better go, for your sake." Her voice was cold as the ice. She twisted her waist and low the blade down, which shaved his bread like mowing the grass.

Just because you could carry a big sword doesn't make you warrior. Mercenary's captain instantly yielded. "All… all right, I'll get out of here. Violent isn't necessary."

A barking dog never bites. These men didn't worth her time, so she let them go. "Run, you better hope we will not meet again."

No need to be told twice, the gang ran as fast as they able. Just a few minute, the brothel back to peace again.

"Very impressive," A woman who was watching them deal with the White Falcons clapped her hands. "It's nice to see another woman who bows to no one. I'm Isabela: captain of the Siren's Call. She is my beautiful ship."

The fearless Warden smiled politely. "Nice to meet you, my name is Issara. I think I heard about you from somewhere. They call you: 'Queen of the Eastern Seas and the sharpest blade in Llomerryn', that so very impressive."

Isabela's light armor and blades looked exotic. The pirate seemed like someone who has traveled far and visited many places during her life. However, the way she looked at Issara made the lady Warden nervous.

"You're not bad yourself, Warden. I never saw anyone wield the blade like that."

Whoa, it seemed everyone knew her. How could it be possible? "You know who I am?" The exotic Warden asked confusing.

"I _met_ a lot of Grey Wardens in my journey. So I knew when I see one of your people. Let's say I know them enough to not believe the _official_ lie about Ostagar." Pirate queen seemed to know lot of things. "Anyway, I have some tips for improve your _fighting_." There's some hint in her husky voice when she looked down to Issara's shape.

Not exactly understand, but the exotic Warden still tried to be polite. "How generous of you, I always want to learn more about fighting. But what are the tips you will teach me?"

"Not so fast, sexy. We should to _getting to know_ each other better."

_Sexy… that didn't sound good._ Issara thought then pulled the edges of her cloak together.

"Can't I just dual with you?" you don't really know someone until you fight them.

However, Millar stepped forward. She smiled to the pirate with meaningful eyes. "Perhaps I can assist you with _this_ lesson."

Shocked, Issara stared at elven Warden like she was going to freak out. "Oh… I thought you... well, I don't mean to offend or anything. Just surprise,"

Pirate queen responded with cocky grin. "Ooh, and now you've piqued my interest. It would surely be rude of me to decline such a... _delicious_ offer."

"What about me?" The bard interfaced.

Two innocence Wardens were blushing hard, speechless.

"You can… ahem, joint us. My cabin and my bed on my ship are large enough for three of us." Without many thought, Isabela invited.

"It sound shameful, I like it." Leliana grinned and enfold Millar's arm.

"I'm going to jump into the ocean, right now. I hope it cold." Alistair murmured, which made Issara blushed harder.

Still didn't change her mind, the pirate tried to invite ex-lady. "We still have some… _space_. Are you sure you don't want to joint?"

"Thank you, but I pass." She refused and then hid behind the ex-templar.

"What about you, handsome?" Glazed him head to foot, Isabela admired his muscular frame even it hid beneath massive armor. "Your strong hands… I could use that for some… _assistant_."

Not a good shelter, Alistair was blushing harder and spluttered. "I-I don't… I mean… this is so wonderful but…"

"Too bad, this _rendezvous_ will be more interesting if you both joint. However, if you two want to learn something for your first time, you know where to find me." The pirate queen winked before leaded two smiling women to the front door.

Before left, the elven Warden gave them some advice. "It's must take some time. Perhaps you two should find something to do… for killing time."

The virgins blinked and exchanged their glare. None of them dared to say anything until the three gone.

"Um… she was right." Issara said carefully. Her cheeks still flushed. "We should fine something to do."

Alistair swallowed hard. "But I… Are you sure if you want to do it?"

Lady Warden blinked, speechless for awhile. But when she realized his meaning, she smacked his chest bashfully. "What the hell are you thinking? I just… thought we could read those books for killing time." She pointed the bookshelf nearby.

"Oh, the book… All right, it can't hurt." He examined those books carefully. Most of them were foreign, but one with a familiar symbol caught his eyes. The ex-templar involuntary grabbed it.

"What's so special about that?" Issara asked. She tried to read it but Alistair took it out of her reach. "Hey..!"

"Nothing's special," He refused, but still held it.

"I don't believe you. Give me that book if you have nothing to hide."

Damn his tall body, she couldn't reach for the book in his hand when he raised it high. Issara thought only about seize that suspicious book until realized that the ex-templar's nose almost touched hers. His intoxicating cocky grin was too close to her lips.

Someone cleared her throat. "That book's name is 'Art of passionate love'. But if you intend to experiment some guidance inside it, I suggest you to rent one of our rooms." Sanga; the proprietor of the Pearl said with knowing smile.

Bashfully, the Grey Wardens separated from each other. Issara was going to refuse that suggestion while someone gasped in surprise.

Zavren just walked through the door that connects the hall and more private rooms. He seemed surprise to meet the two, but the one who almost scream was an elf woman in his arm.

"Lillian, you bitch," She pointed the redhead fiercely. "I should have known someone like you wouldn't die that easily."

Totally confused, Issara couldn't say a word while that woman shouted at her ireful.

However, she glared the exotic Warden from head to foot with sneer. "Look at you, princess. What are you dressing? I guess you couldn't have your white gown when you walk into the brothel, hah."

"Iona, what are you doing?" the Pearl's proprietor exclaimed. "You shouldn't treat customer like that."

"Not this one, Sanga. She destroyed my life. If isn't because of her, I might still be Lady Landra's lady in waiting."

Lady Landra… Issara remembered that name. That old alcoholic lady was Teyrna Cousland's closest friend who died in the slaughter by Howe's men. In the day before Highever's lost, Dairren: her son told forge lady that his mother attempted to be matchmaker for himself and Lillian at the Teyrna Cousland's spring salon in some time ago. He didn't tell her the result but judge from his expression, it must didn't end well.

However, both didn't mention about Iona. And whatever that happened to this elf must be Lady Lillian Cousland's fault. Too bad, that unspoken truth could do nothing with this situation. Like it or not, Issara still had to take care of whatever her host have done.

"I… apologize." It's not help, she knew it. But she didn't know better word to say.

Iona's jaw hanged open. Obviously, she didn't expect to hear that word from her antagonist. Lady Lillian was an arrogant princess who never cares about anyone but herself. Someone like that wouldn't say soft word or apologize, but this Lillian… This must be trick or something.

"Who're you?" The elf woman growled. "You made my live doom, now you just waltz in this room and apologized. Do you really think I'll be please by those words of yours?"

Unable to replied, Issara just clenched her fists and looked down.

The rage burning inside, Iona couldn't control herself. Before anyone could react, she grabbed a bottle of wine from table nearby and hit the Lady Warden's head. A bottle shattered; glasses and red liquid bath over the redhead.

Zavren yanked Iona who now shocked with her own action out of his leader, while Alistair who failed to stop the attack tried to sweep pieces of glass away from Issara's stoic face.

"Why you didn't dodge?" He asked. "You could dodge darkspawn's blade, just an untrained woman couldn't harm you. But why you didn't…?"

She just smiled softly and touched his hand. "It's alright. That is hurt but it is the only way to stop her madness."

"You did it… on purpose?"

Familiar feeling passed through his gut, the ex-templar could sense when Issara used healing magic to drive the pain away from her head. At least Wynne taught her some useful magic.

"I want to talk to Iona." Lady Warden told the assassin who was gripping an elf woman to make sure she wouldn't cause more problems.

"Are you sure? She tried to kill you." Zavren paused when the redhead gave him amuse smile. It reminded him about his old job that brought him to this ridiculous party. If Issara held vengeance over everyone who tried to kill her, he might have been already dead.

Anyway, after released her rage, Iona calmed down. She had no attempt to do more problems especially when the Grey Warden touched her arm softly. Female's instinct told her this woman doesn't her old foe.

"Can we talk, in private?" Even though still soaked with red wine, Issara still smiled wide.

"Forty silvers… and she will be yours for three hours." Sanga offered with unreadable expression.

That reminded her about Iona's status. Why the lady in waiting became prostitute? And what's Lillian fault?

She had to know all of it.


	22. Not myself tonight

I play both Assassin's creed and Dragon Age, so sometime I put something from another game to this fiction. :)

* * *

**Not myself tonight**

* * *

Clink, clink, clink…

Small golden key was swirling around slander finger. Each motion created tinkle sound when it bumped with a notebook in another hand. Red cover was chained with magical lock, which unable to break or pick. Only way to unlock it was the right key that enchanted with same magic.

Issara was looking at the white flowers symbol those arranged as the heart shape on red cover, thinking if she should open it or not. Was this journal like the Pandora's Box? What if the secret inside was forbid? Should she read it?

Laid on the couch in hotel's room, she thought back to Iona. That poor elf told her about what Lillian had done in a few months before the accident. True be told, it wasn't bad as she thought but still horrible.

"My family served Bann Loren and his family for many years. Lady Landra was kind to me, same as her son. But Bann Loren… he didn't think of me as a servant." Ex lady-in-waiting said. She didn't look please with her story. "Lady Landra was a good woman, but she also was a drunken. It destroyed her charm, thus the Bann didn't interest in her anymore. After my husband died, he forced me to be his mistress. I hated it but… if I tell anyone, I'll lose my job. And he also gave me extra gold for my service, which enough to raise my daughter. So I had to endure it."

"I don't know how, but you knew it. In Teyrna Cousland's spring salon, you told that to Lady Landra. She didn't just sacked me, but ordered her men to… indignity me. I don't know how I survive that. All I know that I woke up in Highever castle. To be specific, it's the servant's room. One of your servants must save me and hid me there. But I knew that one would have big problem if anyone else found me. So I ran from that place before sunrise."

"Anyhow, I stole this journal from your room before I left." Iona showed a red journal to Lady Grey Warden. Its cover had violent scratch. It seemed like someone tried to destroy the seal. "At first, I thought about sale your secret to someone who wants to pay. But I couldn't even open it because magical lock. No one will pay for this scrap. I thought about throw it away but… I just couldn't. And I also keep it with me all the time like I was cursed."

She didn't know what to say. Issara just held that throbbing hand and looked around the room they're sitting. The dim-light room was decorated with expensive furniture but strange smell that diffused inside too strong, almost make her vomit. And as the Psychometrer, Issara sensed so many terrible things those happened inside this room.

"I knew I can't undo what I'd done." No need to ask why Iona end up here, she must did it for freed her family. "This is all I have, I hope it help." Then, Lillian's habitant gave the poor elf five hundred sovereign.

A beautiful elf shocked. She looked at the money and that soft smile in confusing. "This… this could pay for my daughter's treatment. And maybe I can pay for my debt… I don't have to work here anymore. But… but why you give me this?"

"Well, I knew it sound strange but…" How could she tell the true? "I'm not the same woman I use to be anymore, Iona. I can't remember what I'd done to you but that doesn't mean I have no responsibility on my past."

_I don't know you, Lillian. But if I meet you, I'll kick your ass for what you've done._ Issara thought.

"I… never thought I'll say this but… thank you." Iona said with tearful eyes. "And you ought to take this. It's yours anyway."

Took a journal, the woman from another world knew a key that she was found at Highever could unlock it. With this, she could learn Lillian's secret. But even with her gift, she wasn't able to feel any memories that should remain in the journal.

Willing or not, people would _relate_ with anything that close to them. And with that, they always left their memories, feeling or even part of spirits in those subjects. Lillian wrote this journal, thus she ought to relate with it. The memories should be strongly, probably faint but couldn't be blank like this.

This doesn't natural things.

After the quest done, they're back to the market. The party rented two rooms for females and males in Gnawed Noble Tavern. That night, most of them went to bed for good rest but Issara still dedicated her time reading the red journal. Too bad, it just wasted so much time. After a long time decision she still had no nerve to unlock it.

"Alright, let's make it quick."

Insert the magical key to its lock, she held her breath while screwed it open. Well, there's no more protection. Lillian must be so trust in the magical seal.

It's her habit to read the index first, so she started from the first page. Yeah, there's no index, but at least the content in that page was interesting. If only you could decrypt those ridiculous poems.

Lillian's diary reminded her of Nostradamus. A few pages she had read full of strange prosody poems, which probably encrypted. Perhaps this was the real reason about why the journal's writer didn't place more ward in it. No one would understand the secret inside unless these words were decrypted.

"Is this Lady's diary or Davinci code?" Issara complained. "If I meet that woman, I'll kick her twice."

Anyhow, she had no time for puzzle game. Tonight she has important business to attend. Lillian and her poems had to wait.

…

"I love you, Ali." Sweet voice vibrated closely with his earlobe. "I want to be yours. Please take me."

"But…" He tried to protest, but her warm arms enfolded around his neck like living cage. Despite his position, he completely was under her control.

Beneath him, slander and soft body was laying naked. Lovely bosom was grinding with his chest passionately, which his tunic couldn't protect him. No matter how he resist, some part of him didn't take note properly. When her charming hand stroke the intimate muscle beneath his trousers, it responded quickly with its own propose.

"This is wrong. I can't…" His voice lost in ragged breath. She kissed him and his thought scatter.

"Nothing is wrong between us." She guided his hand to one of her breasts. It involuntary massaged and pinched her erect nipple, which made her cried out in pleasure. "See, you're good about this."

"But I don't… I don't love you."

Like someone splashed her with cold water, she pushed him off her. "How dare you…"

Horrify, Alistair was lying still on the floor while beautiful woman turned to something terrible. Her face writhed with anger, almost made her look like an ogre.

"Curse you, Alistair. You dare to break my heart, so you must pay of it. I'll hurt you more several times than me. I swear."

That wasn't a girl he had known for all of his life. Before him was a wrath demon that more powerful than he ever realized. Her naked body went bigger, her hands transformed to large claws that smashed him to dust.

And then… he awoke.

Alistair found himself was sitting on the bed, perspiring and heaving. Beside him was Zevran who in deep sleep. Although they have to share the room, it still good to sleep in the real bed. Gnawed Noble Tavern have the good stuffs in affordable price, the ex-templar had good sleep until the nightmare came.

It wasn't exactly nightmare, it was a memory. He still remembered the night that he was in Highever, sleeping in the guest room. Young man thought he just followed his commander to investigate the series of strange events, but he was wrong.

Lillian sneaked into his room with nothing but her white frock. She robbed his first kiss and almost ravished him. True be told, he don't hate it but he really couldn't accept her offer. For him, love and lust were the same. He doesn't want to lay with any woman he didn't love, no matter how pretty she was.

The truth didn't end like the dream. Lillian didn't hurt him… physically. She cried and cried until she was unconscious, which made him felt terrible. After he brought her back to her bedchamber, he couldn't look her in the eyes again.

Those memories were bad, but also _awaked_ some part of him. He didn't think he would be able to sleep anymore, so he left the room. Perhaps the bar still open, he needed to drink.

His thought wondered to another woman in that body. She possessed that flesh but her taste was different. Kissing her made him hungry and hungrier for something he never experiment. Issara's exotic charm was really intoxicant. He couldn't get enough of her.

Involuntary, the ex-templar walked to another room that the women shared. He knew they probably slept in this late of night, but he still wanted to know if she was alright.

However, he stopped half way while a small figure in brown cloak was sneaking from his female companion's room. He hid behind a cabinet just in time before that one looked at his way. The hallway was too dark, he couldn't see that face but something told him that was Issara. When she jumped out the window, Alistair followed without any thought.

Swift, quiet and confident, slander figure was sneaking in the shadow of Denerim passed through the guards without being notice. Alistair himself was the one who got caught by a guard's captain. Luckily, Kylon had no interest in Grey Warden's business. So he let the ex-templar on his way.

However, that made him lost her. The Grey Warden had to use his ability to sense the taint blood, which leaded him to the road that head toward the Arl of Denerim's estate. The place didn't in good condition, there're many large holes on the wall, seemed like someone tried to destroy those stone wall. The debris that might use to be the part of the estate was heap up around in disarray. It seemed good day of this estate was no more since the old Arl Urien died in Ostagar.

However, this should be a busy place but he didn't see anyone. The front gate was quiet, there's no any sign of people. Only suspicious thing was the trails on the dirt that looked like someone dragged something from the guard post into the shadow of the estate.

Alistair followed that trail, and then found bodies in guard's uniform were hiding behind the debris. All of them were slit at the throat, no sign of resistance. It's very neat job.

His fellow Grey Warden must be around here somewhere, he sensed her presence but couldn't find her in the shadow. Her position was a secret until he heard unfamiliar voice from behind.

"Who are you? What are you doing here?"

From uniform, that man was Arl's guard. He was staring at Alistair threaten till he saw a body behind the debris. That big guy was going to yell while someone's hand covered his mouth, prevent him from making noise before slit his throat with dagger, silent him forever.

A dying guard fell to the pebble ground, thus the ex-templar could see his savior.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Same question, a woman beneath brown cloak asked fiercely.

"I'm going to ask you the same thing." Alistair hissed. He faced with his fellow Grey Warden who now dressed in her usual suit.

"Not now," Issara refused. "There're more of guards around. It's not safe to linger here."

She was going to walk away, but Alistair grabbed her wrist. "What the hell are you doing, Issara? Sneak into this place and kill the guard like professional assassin, this isn't like you."

Grinned sarcastically, she knew from the weight of his grip that he wouldn't let her go unless he got the answer. "The short answer is: that son of the bitch is here, and I come to give him what he deserves."

"You mean… Howe?"

"Yes, and I won't go anywhere until I got what I came for."

If she make her decision, she won't stop until succeed. No one could change her mind, he knew it. "All right, if that's what you want. I'll go with you."

"No." She looked irate. "This is my business. I say you go back to the inn and I don't want to hear any argument."

"I won't let you. It's too dangerous. What if you fail and they got you or… this not worth it if you lost your life, Issara."

This time she laughed… but it sounded creepy. "Don't you see those bodies? I sneak in here and kill a lot of them without alarm the rest. I might get Howe by now if I don't have to speak with you. Beside, you don't even arm or armor. What will you do if we have to fight?"

"All right, I knew I can't kill with bare hands like you. But I won't let you out of my sign, especially when you are going to…"

Their argument had to stop because of the alarm. It seemed someone knew what's going on.

"We have to go, now!" Issara commanded and dragged him with her.

In the shadow of city, they fled from the estate. When she thought that far enough, lady Warden stopped and leaned to nearest wall.

"Damn, that scum can live and do more harm to this world." She cursed.

As someone who lost important person by treachery, he understood her feeling completely. "I'm sorry."

"No harm done. You just tried to help." Still tried to smile, she knew she was a troublemaker this time. "I shouldn't let the irascibleness get the best of me."

"I knew. I must do the same if Loghain is there." The ex-templar held her tight. "I understand your feeling."

No more pretending, Issara rested herself to his chest. She felt so tired. Just a moment for her selfish, Issara pulled her knight closer and kissed him with all passion. The fate could be damn for all she cared.

He seemed surprise, but suddenly kissed back. Involuntary, Alistair lifted her against the wall, his hands caressed soft and warm body. Strange, even though it was same body he ever touched, Issara gave him different feeling from Lillian.

Isabela was right. This woman was so sexy. Her charm could drive him mad without any try. Day after day, his feeling for her was intensifying as their relationship grew stronger.

They're kissing with more and more passion. She had only a few experiences with only man, but she was a fast learner. Some article she read from Cosmopolitan also gave her bright idea for drove him mad. Just a few minute, Issara could feel his 'want' for her between her thighs.

Another side of her mind warned her to stop. She shouldn't give herself to a man that she couldn't be with.

She was raised by three elders, they taught her in the old way. They wanted her to be honorable, smart and strong person. More than that, her grandma taught her to had one heart for love only one man in her live. If she gave him her heart, she will belong to him until death takes her… or farther.

Luckily, they were interrupted by a voice. "You two should find elsewhere for this… activity." One of city guard told them.

The couple apologized to that guard and hurried walk away. Both of them said nothing, not even look each other in the eyes until back to hotel.

Before Issara go to sleep, she faced him to say goodnight. But his large hands gently pulled her to him, kissed her for the word he wasn't able to speak.

"I… goodnight," She murmured, and then went back to her room.

Alistair just smiled. But when the door closed, he went to the innkeeper to ask for a cold bath.


	23. I never been to me

This chapter is a bit drama. But Issara still didn't mind her tongue.

* * *

I never been to me

* * *

Nothing better than do the job of your passion,

Blacksmith is tough, hard and literally hot job. Not every girl would enrapture with it, Issara was a special one. She always paid intention in every parts of it, especially in minor detail. Sometime she was obsessed by her own work and forgot everything until the job done. Anyway, the complete works always brought her happiness.

Swung her new Katana, the blacksmith smiled at the beautiful result. This one created by better material; shaper, lighter and more durable. More than that, she also added graphic of a rose to its blade for her personal humor. It's reminded her about what she said when Alistair gave her a rose. He used that red rose as his weapon against her heart. Then this Katana was her iron rose: her new weapon of choice.

However, sound of snore brought her down to earth. Wade: the uniquely talented blacksmith (as he claimed) and also was the owner of Wade's emporium that in Denerim's market district was napping on the workbench not far from the anvil she used.

Just yesterday that they had met for the first time, but they could befriend so quickly because of the interest they share. Wade enraptured by her equipments, so she took the advantage on that. In exchange of some of her things and technique, she borrowed his shop and some fantastic materials.

Issara always work alone in her smithy, but Wade wanted to help her make Cestus and boots. Anyway, he exhausted and passed out since two or three hours ago.

"Maker's blood, it's so hot in here!" Familiar voice shouted. The blacksmith shuddered in shock but instantly back to normally.

"Alistair, don't you know how to knock the door?" She scolded.

The ex-templar tried to speak something, but he distracted by her look. Those honey-brown eyes locked on her white tank-top that now was soaking with her sweat.

"What the hell are you looking at?" With red cheeks, Issara draw her new Katana at his nose. As a woman from tropical zone, she doesn't mind to show some skin in the hot temperature to keep cold. But the way he glare at her made her felt… woman and… anything she shouldn't think about. She had to create the shield to protect her heart.

In a rush, Alistair raised his hands up in surrender. "I apologize. I just never…"

Had she ever angry on him? The answer was: no, and she knew it wouldn't change soon.

"It's alright." Issara putted her blade down and find her shirt. "How could you pass Herren? I think that man watching the door like a guard dog. He said Wade don't like any interruption while he work."

Unexpected, the shy templar stared to rage. He stepped closer while exotic lady involuntary stepped back to the wooden wall. "Probably, but he might pass out because of he kept his eyes on that door all day and night. Don't you know you're working in here for a full day? I so worried and thought you might… I don't trust to leave you alone with any man even just a few second, you know?"

His concern touched her heart fiercely, which made her felt guilty for did that. "I… I appreciate your concern. But you don't have to. Wade isn't… a man, not in a sense anyway."

"He… What?"

"You don't know?" Sounded shock but she giggled. "Well, Herren: that merchant is Wade's couple. And I'm sure they're lovely with each other. He won't interest in me."

Sputtered, his cheeks turned to adorable shade of pink. "Really..? I have no idea."

"You're so innocence." And also too cute to resist, she pinched his nose.

If only she know what he fantasized about in those lonely nights…

"Anyhow, you still abandon your duty for day. If you done with your work, I suggest we ought to… should to go back to our own quest." He tried to use authoritative voice. Too bad, it's not suit him.

"Not now, I still have some 'minor detail' to take care of. But while I work, you can stand around and fill me with anything I miss out there." Issara grabbed a file and began to trim the sharp edges in her red steel Cestus. She loved to spend her time to neat these little parts.

"Ah, there're many things…" He leaned himself to a door frame. "First, there's someone sent assassins after Leliana."

Almost dropped a file, "What? How that's happen? Are she alright?"

"No one get hurt, and we also interrogated that assassin for information. We'd known where the client is, but we won't do anything without your order."

Issara felt strange. "Why no one tell me this sooner? I told you could call me anytime."

"We aren't children, Issara. We can take care of ourselves. I knew you care for us so much, but you don't have to protect us like overprotective mother." Involuntary, his hand reached for her cheek. He cupped it gently while was looking through those hazelnut-brown eyes.

She was drawn in that lovely touch. It'd been awhile after their last kiss, she miss it already.

_Knock-knock- knock. Ice to self: What the fuck are you doing?_ Her common sense kicked in. _Behold yourself and save some dignity._ _Stop ogling at him, now!_

"Oh, I…" Avoided his glare, Issara was trying to put herself together. "You said this is the first news. Then, what's the second?"

"Nothing special, it's just some problem around here. Howe orders his men to ransack every place to find the assassin who invaded his estate and killed his guards. But I see they never thought that person will hiding in the blacksmith, thus they didn't come here."

"How could you know? Maybe they came, and then I killed them before butchered and burned their bodies in this stove. I'm a bit good in destroying, you know that." She teased.

"You're joking… right?" Some time he wasn't sure if Issara say the true. Although she was an honorable person, she could hide her true emotion so well.

Issara gave him her trademark grin. "I take that mean we shouldn't linger in this city for too long. Lillian's appearance and my deviant attires must attract people's attention. It just about time before that scum knows about our presence."

"You're right. Perhaps I should tell everyone to ready to leave the city."

"You shall, but not before you tell me what on your mind. I knew when you upset." The know-too-well Warden commanded. "And don't try to deflect my question with joke. I have a hammer and I don't fear to use it for _'knock'_ some sense into you."

"Perhaps I shall use my shield." Issara pointed him with that hammer. Her eyes said: _don't even think._ "All right, I want to look someone up."

It's hard to keep serious while her silly templar was moaning like a puppy. Lady Grey Warden had to bit her lip to prevent laughing. Anyway, Issara always was Issara. The perkiness always gets the best of her. "That one is not your ex-girlfriend, right?"

"My… What? No! Do you honestly think I would suggest we go see…together? No!" He exclaimed, a bit too loud.

"Shh… Don't be so touchy. You'll wake our poor blacksmith up." As best as she could, Issara raised her index finger to her mouth innocently.

She was teasing, as always. Despite his shyness, he really wanted to revenge her for made him blush by ravish those ruby lips until she couldn't find any word to tease him anymore. Unfortunately, she still handed that hammer.

Blushing hard, Alistair tried to down his voice. "Thing is… I have a sister. She is my half-sister, we have the same mother but I never knew about her. I don't think she knew about me, either. They kept my birthright a secret, after all. But after I became a Grey Warden I did some checking and…well, I found out she's still alive; In Denerim. To be specific, is in a house nearby."

"Are she the same woman I saw in your Fade? Her name is Goldanna, if I recall." Issara asked, seemed excite in equal. "That is wonderful news. What do you waiting for? Why don't you go to her already?"

His hand ran through his blond hair awkwardly. "I-I don't…"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk, our fearsome warrior had no nerve to meet his sister. What a shame?" Lady Warden banter her knight with cheeky grin. And before he had any chance to retort, she added. "Alright, I'll go with you. Let's me clean these mess, you go wait outside."

"Hey, but I didn't ask…"

Issara didn't listen, shoved him out of the room. "Just a few minute, don't go anywhere without me. Is that clear?"

She surely punishes him if he refuse, thus the ex-templar obeyed. "Right, I'll wait outside. Don't be long or someone might take me their home."

Still grinning, Issara pulled his collar playfully. "Be a good boy and you will get some sweet,"

"Really?" Hopefully, Alistair asked.

Corners of her lips twisted with mischief. "No."

…

Thing never be as he had plan.

Goldanna doesn't anything he ever expected. That bitch had nothing for him but heartbroken. She said her mother died in giving Alistair's birth and then people in Redcliffe castle had thrown her out with some money. Even though that hardly to be Alistair's fault, she still blamed him for all of those.

However, Issara thought something wasn't right. From the vision she saw in an amulet of Alistair's mother, the Psychometrer rather sure that elf looked alive and well while she placed an amulet on her son's chest before someone who looked like older version of Cailan took him from her. No more memory about her ever since but surely she didn't die for giving Alistair's birth as Goldanna said.

Confused and furious, Issara dragged her knight out of the small house before she lose her self-control. It had been awhile but she still remembered how satisfied Alistair was when he trapped in his Fade. The day that Grey Wardens and friends was lured by the Sloth Demon, Issara found a way to his dream, which full with people he called family. All he wish was a real family of his own, but that never been to him. She felt pity for a man, which made her angry on a wicked woman who broke his heart.

When they're outside the house, Alistair hissed in disappointment. He meant to say something but Issara buried herself to his chest. Heed his heartbeat, and then she began to cry for him.

Involuntary, the ex-templar held his sensitive woman tight. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

"What do you mean?" Still cried, she asked in confusing.

"I shouldn't bring you here. That shrew is… I can't believe that is the family I wonders for all my life."

"No need to apologize," Issara forced herself to smile. "It's not your fault. And…I believe that shrew isn't your sis."

It was his turn to gasp. "What…?"

"Well, I never told you but… I'm some kind of Psychometrer. It means I can see the memories those _remain_ in objects, animal or even human. Perhaps we can say: when Lillian could see the future, I could see the past. I know it does not sound useful, but who could choose their gift?" She sighed, afraid if Alistair would be mad as her never told him about this. "I saw through your mother's amulet. She didn't die in giving you birth. I don't know what happen to her after she gave you to another man but I'm rather sure that she…"

"Is that true? Why had you never told me?"

"It's because…" Took a deep breath, she touched his breastplate, just above his heart. "She doesn't want you to know and I respect her decision."

"Her decision… to left me," He didn't know what worse between his mother died or she left him to live alone. Arl Eamon raised him, but didn't in the pleasant way. That old man couldn't fulfill his craving for love as any child should be. "What kind of mother she is? She left me to grow up in the stable, slept on pile of straw and around by dogs. Had she ever love me?"

Issara felt like her heart would shatter. The tear flew more from her eyes while she soothed his cheeks. "Everyone have their own reason, Alistair. And love doesn't have to reciprocate. Some time, you had to let the one you love go. Even that would kill you."

"I don't understand." His tone was dry and quiet.

"She… your parent couldn't have you. I don't know the entire story but I believe they thought this is the best way for you to live…without their burden."

Almost understood, but something did not yet clear. "I…I don't know. That doesn't sound make sense."

"He didn't want you to involve with those king things. Alas, although he tried to keep you out of the mess, you might have to jump into it someday." Issara said thoughtfully.

"You know, you're bubbling again." Even though he familiar with her extraordinary attitudes, this kind of her habit still chilled his spine. If she was old and ugly, she could be Flemeth's best friend.

"Oops, sorry, just thought too fast," Surely he didn't know about karma. So he didn't understand what she said. Some explanation should be in order. "What I want to say is: They loved you, Alistair. But only love couldn't keep you together. Well, in my religion, we believe live is in under control of karma. And the karma is anything you had done include anything that happen because of that action. To put it lightly, it like when something fall to the water and cause the wave. However, you don't alone in this world. Even you not like, the other's karma still affect your life in one way or another."

"Anyhow, the past is the past and no one could undo it. The most important thing is present." She wasn't sure if those words would make any good, but at least it better than let Alistair carry on his self-loathing. "If you let yourself float in the stream of karma, you might draw in it one day. You have to look for yourself… I don't mean you have to be selfish. Just love yourself more and fight for what you want."

The ex-templar looked at her blankly, which made Issara felt nervous. "Do you…understand what I said?"

"I'm not sure." He shook his head. "I think I need some time to process your words."

The exotic Warden sighed. "Well, whatever… Perhaps we should go back to everybody. We still have more work to be done before leave this city."

…

"She's dead… She's dead because of me." Leliana cried.

Under the bard was a beautiful woman who just threatened to hunt Leliana forever. Now she was lying on the floor, totally dead. However, her influence still remained.

As the ex-sister confessed to the exotic leader, Marjolaine once was her mentor, lover and traitor. This woman created and destroyed Leliana for her own sake. To cover her treachery on Orlais, Marjolaine blamed her guilt over her former lover, which brought the poor bard to the hands of merciless Orlesian's guards. However, although Leliana could escape from them and that country, the past still hunt her.

"This isn't your fault, Lea." Issara tried to comfort her. "Although you ran from her, she still sent assassin after you. All that happen today is because she brought it up. You just did it in self-defend."

Sheathed her blades, the exotic Warden looked around the room they're standing. The wicked spy said she knew Leliana would come for her thus she prepared the hospitality for her ex-girlfriend with the qunari mercenaries and mages. It was obvious that she has cruel intention. Unfortunately, Issara and company never turn their friends down. So, instead of eliminated the threat, Marjolaine got what she deserve.

"But I…" Obviously upset, the bard took a short bow from Marjolaine's body with shaking hands.

Sometime, word wasn't necessary. Issara just patted on Leliana's shoulder. "Let's get out of here."

She turned around to leave, but stopped when Zevran and Sten unsheathed their blades in hurry. The cold from sharp metal was touching her neck.

Still calmed, the leader didn't turn back. "What are you doing, Lea?"

"I don't know." Those words came with sob. "Marjolaine's dead. I knew you freed me from her grip but…some part of me hate you for killed her… If you didn't insist, she might still…"

"Her karma brought her to her end, Lea. If she never hunted you, she wouldn't here and I wouldn't kill her." Slowly, Issara turned to an arrow that aimed to her neck. All the time, those eyes never blink. "And how could I let her go when I knew she will hunt you again?"

Didn't move any muscle, the Grey Warden stood still while two men in the room felt nervous. They don't want to fight with friend and also couldn't let any harm happen to their leader.

An arrow shook, Leliana had no force to hold it any longer. Then she released it…to the wall.

"I love her so much, Issara. No matter what she has done to me, it couldn't change my feeling. Perhaps I shouldn't leave the chantry. If I still there, she wouldn't…"

"What she has done was her doing." Held the bard's shoulders tight, Issara looked in her eyes and spoke slowly, firmly. "She chose it, so you did. Even if you regret for travel with me, don't forget about those lives you had saved. Your choice changed their life, and also yours."

The tear poured from her eyes, Leliana cried on Issara's shoulder that was holding her like a merciful sister. Both men sighed and then sheathed their weapon.

…

"I'm sorry, Issara."

She heard those words twice in one day, which she replied with smiles and same sentence.

"It's nothing."


	24. Wild child

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to present another twist.

* * *

Wild child

* * *

It had been almost two days since they left Denerim, did not yet reach Brecilian Forest. However, that doesn't mean they will be safe. Just before the sun rose in the middle of the sky, they found a group of bandits on the road. Luckily, the bandits were busy arguing with each other, not notice another party that was hiding on the ledge nearby.

"They do not notice us yet," Morrigan offered. "We should find the way to avoid them."

"No, we can't let the bandits go. They would attack the helpless people." Alistair disagreed.

They argued with each other from both side of Issara. The middle woman knew they had the point but this argument was so annoying.

"Alright, I get it. Could you two shut up for awhile and give me some time to think?" The leader said in command and plea voice; something that only she could do.

Making anyone speechless is Issara's specialty. Surely, this ability came with leadership. At least she could make them stop biting each other long enough to work together.

"You two have point. These bandits only waste our time, it will be easier if we just…"

One of the bandits dragged an elf woman who was bound around her hands and mouth to the one who looked like their leader. She fought then they hit her brutally till she fell to the ground. Even though the Grey Wardens couldn't hear what they're saying but from the look of the bandit's face, anyone could guess what will happen to that poor elf in a few minute later.

"If no one going to help her, I'll do it myself." Millar said and grabbed her daggers.

But that wasn't necessary. The first bolt already shot, straight at the bandit leader's eye. Issara's crossbow always could be trust.

"Well, I prefer not to fight. But that idiot really gets to my nerve." The fearless leader said heatedly. And she added more when those bandits aim their weapons to the party. "Now, ready your weapon. This is going to be a little…rough."

…

The girl doesn't ordinary elf, she was the Dalish.

When Issara unbound her, the wild elf jumped away and grabbed a dagger from bandit's corpse. She was scaring and tried to protect herself. "Don't come any closer, shem."

"Great, she really appreciates what we had done." Zevran said sarcastically.

Millar smacked his arm. "She just startling. Who had known what happen to her before?"

"You have point. But she better put her weapon down. Our fearless leader doesn't be so lovely with anyone who draw dagger to her neck."

However, Issara ignored them. She just smiled and offered her hand. "Have no fear, no one will harm you. We come to help, and you know it."

The poor elf looked around. Bandits those tried to abuse her all died by this party's blades. And the woman in strange suit had no cruel intention toward her. Maybe these people weren't evil. "I appreciate your help. But I still don't trust you."

"It's the wise decision. If I were you, I won't trust any human so easy after what that happen to you." Still smiled, Issara offered politely. "Oh, where is my manner? I'm Issara of the Grey Warden. You can call me Issara."

"Grey Warden… are you really one of them?" The wild elf's reaction totally changed. She seemed surprise but also grateful. "I'm looking for you. We need your help."

"We… Did you mean your clan?"

"No, I'm here in behave of my brother. He is sick and our Keeper said only the Grey Warden could heal him. So I left my clan for searching you."

Issara looked at her fellow Grey Wardens. "I never had known if we have such ability. Wait a minute… What is your brother sickness?"

"The Keeper said it was Blight disease; he was tainted by dark spawn's blood. He also said he is beyond hope but I don't believe him." Dark blue eyes were glowing with emotion. "I came so far before those bastards captured me. Please, help us."

Before the leader said anything, the ex-templar touched her arm gently, which she knew he meant to speak with her in private. "Not now, I see you get hurt and you might be hungry. Wynne will attend your wound and Lea will find you something to eat. We will speak again after you ready for a trip."

"But I ready now. My brother had no much time. We need to hurry." The girl protested.

"I understand how much you worry about your brother. But if your brother really tainted by dark spawn's blood, we need to prepare some… potion for him. It needs some time for that to be ready. You better make yourself at ease in the mean time."

Issara was a great liar if she wants. The Dalish believed all she said. "All right, I'll do what you said. But please hurry, I knew my brother's time is running short."

Exotic Warden just nodded. As soon as the healer and bard took the girl to the fire, she turned to face her fellow Grey Wardens.

"You shouldn't promise her that." Millar said.

"I don't know how to refuse her without breaking her heart, at least when I still don't know anything about the Blight disease." Issara tried to think if she had read it from somewhere, but no such luck.

"Well, do you remember the refugees' corpses we met at Lothering? Those I suggested to burn." Alistair asked. She nodded, so he continued. "The dark spawn didn't just kill people with their blades, but the taint in their blood could destroy the land and corrupt any living creature. We called it 'the Blight disease'."

"Wait a minute… I heard that from the trainer in Ostagar. He said only the Grey Warden could master the taint. Right, that is why the Dalish believe we could help her brother. But how could we do that?" Issara said quickly.

"Only way I had known is the joining." The elven Warden answered. "But we don't know how to cook it."

"Damn…" Exotic Warden cursed. "I mess thing up this time."

Millar touched her arm. "No, you just tried to comfort that girl. No one will blame you for trying to be nice."

"Wait until Morrigan know it," Angry to herself, Issara sighed deeply. "I shouldn't give that girl the fail hope. However, we can't just let her be. At least we ought to see her brother. If there's anything we can do …"

"I knew you have a good heart, Issara. But Arl Eamon is in grave danger. We have no time to waste. Plus, how could you know this isn't some kind of trick?" Alistair protested.

"She is Dalish, and for all I know the Dalish is the proud warriors, I see no reason why they need to ambush us. Anyhow, I can scan her just in case." Somehow, this discussion gave her some idea. "Well, come to think about it. We might need some solution to speed our work."

Other Grey Wardens exchanged their glare. Every time Issara say something like that, she always had unexpected idea. Some was work, but some not.

"We will split up. One team will go with that Dalish and find her clan. Another will go to Haven and find the ashes. When the quest finish, we will meet again at Redcliffe castle."

"That sound like a good plan, I admit." Millar said. "But that mean we have to set the team."

"You're an elf. The Dalish might feel easier on you than me. So you ought to go find them. I'll go to Haven." The leader declared. "About the team, I'll take Rabbit, Morrigan and Sten with me. You will go with the rest."

"Not a chance, you won't go anywhere without me." Firmly, the ex-templar insisted.

She knew what he trying to do, but this was important. "Don't be silly, Alistair. We had the quest to do and sooner we finish is better. And I don't want any man to protect me like a damsel in distress. Besides, I won't go alone."

He wanted to say something but didn't in front of the other. So, he pulled her arm to farther distant from Millar. "I know too well about how capable you are. To be honest, dear lady, I _am_ the one who have to go with you."

"Why?" This man was a strong and capable person. It sounded strange if he need her protection.

"Because… If there's anything happen to you… I don't think I'm strong enough to stand it."

He never answered so honestly like this before. Issara blinked in shock. Involuntary, her hand touched his cheek softly. "Ali…"

"I knew we can't… but please let me stay with you as long as we able. I won't ask anything more." The ex-templar whispered.

How could she resist it? "Alright, you can come with me. I'll tell Millar that we change the plan." Issara told him with obviously happiness smile.

…

Lynx; the Dalish promised to take the Grey Wardens to her clan if they would help her brother. So even unable to help, they still followed her to her camp to meet her sick brother. Too bad, they found only the abandon camp.

"The fire still lit and the bedroll still warm… But where is your brother?" Issara asked.

Lynx looked frighten. "I don't know. He was sleeping while I left him, it just an hour or so. By the Creature, what if the bandit took him."

"That would be better. For the trace I see I afraid your brother was took by dark spawn." Millar who was exploring the camp said. "Those bastards destroyed everything in its way. You can recognize its trace anywhere."

"Why? I thought it would kill everything it met." Tan skin almost changed its color. The Dalish really shocked by that news.

There's no time to waste, Issara used her power to scan the memories in the bedroll. She saw a male elf with dark skin and… everything went dark.

She woke up again in Alistair's arms. Everyone was looking at her concerning.

"He… becomes something I don't know about." That was her first sentence. "But it took him because he is one of it."

"He becomes the ghoul. We're too late." The elf Warden said.

"No, it's not true!" Lynx cried. "How could you know it? You don't even see him."

"It… is some kind of magic. I can see the memories those remains in objects. But what I saw in this bedroll was too much for me, so I pass out… not for long, I hope."

"Just a few minute," Alistair answered. "What else did you see?"

This was a first time Issara really realize about how important of her quest. She held his hands tight just to think about what she saw through the ghoul's mind. "The tunnel… is so dark and full of the horde. I saw the light from its torch… it flow like a river of lava. There're so many of them. And…I saw a black dragon. It's roaring and calling for me. It said; come, my children."

Her eyes went dark, her voice low and lifeless like when she spoke about Jowan's past in Redcliffe. Somehow, Alistair knew it doesn't good thing. He shook her shoulders and tried to call her back from the place that beyond his understanding.

"Issara, he didn't call for you! Don't follow him. Comeback to me, please,"

His voice pulled her back just in time. Sweating, she gasped for air like she just free from drowning. Her muscle felt like jelly.

"Issara, are you all right?" Many voice asked in concerning.

"I'm fine." The leader forced to smile. But in her mind, she knew it wasn't good thing. She couldn't control her own nor Lillian's power. This will be bad, very bad.

However, she still had to think about Lynx. "You should back to your clan. This place doesn't save."

"No, I don't believe you. I'll stay here until Tamlen comeback." The Dalish refused.

"Lynx, this isn't a game. This place is so dangerous and your mate won't…"

The creepy feeling ran through her vein. The Grey Wardens knew what that mean. As they unsheathed their weapon, so the companion did.

"Darkspawn," Millar cursed. "Always come in the right time,"

Lynx jumped when she heard that. Instead of fear, she grabbed her arrow and long bow. "They might know where Tamlen is."

"If only they could talk." Issara said then shot the first Genlock she saw.

Like the stream, the dark spawn hurled to the party with no fear. At last, they had to fight with short distant weapon. One by one, those ugly creatures died under 'the Iron Rose' more than the owner care to count. The exotic Warden thought she killed the last of them until she heard the roar.

"The Ogre… Prepare yourself,"

The trees shook, Issara felt the earth vibrate. But when the green curtain opened, they didn't meet a giant creature like they feared.

It's worse than that.

Just a few months she became the Grey Warden, Issara killed so many of monsters or even human. But this thing was… From colorless head to foot, it looked like the undead but something inside different from the other.

"Lynx…" It groaned with writhing mouth that hid beneath rotting flesh. "It's me."

Instantly, the exotic Warden stepped in between the young Dalish and the undead. "Be gone, ghoul. You aren't belonging to this world anymore."

However, it didn't seem to notice her, still walk… or float, to Lynx. "I'm back for you, my love. We'll belong together forever."

"Don't listen to him, Lynx." The shaman's granddaughter warned. "To be union with the demon is mean it will eat you alive. It doesn't know any concept of humanity."

"I don't care. I want to be with him." Lynx insisted and tried to run pass Issara who had no choice but used the knowledge she had learned from her grandpa.

Chanting the ancient spell on her throwing knife, the undead stepped back like the shadow fear the light. When she thrown the arch blade to it, the ghoul screamed painfully and then shattered to grey dust that diffused in the area. The exotic Warden couldn't see anything until the black shadow swooped down to her.

…

Issara jerked awake with the pain around her flank. Alas, only she had durable skin doesn't mean she was immortal. The brutally force still could kill her. As far as she could guess, some bones might broke and pierced internal organs. She was lucky to had Wynne.

Anyway, the pain she got wasn't a joke. Issara stopped trying to get up at least until the pain gone. Look around as far as she was able in that condition, she believed she was in her own tent. Wore only her leather breeches, her upper part of body and right arm were enfolded with bandage. This was one more time that she felt useless.

"Yah, they didn't call me 'the weakest warrior of Highever' for no reason." She mocked herself.

A shadow showed on the canvas. She heard someone said. "I heard something. Perhaps she is awake."

As fast as able, Issara covered her body with a blanket just in time before Alistair who had bandage enfolded around his head entered her tent. He looked innocence but she felt uneasy to face him in half-nude.

"Thank the Maker, you're awake." He exclaimed concerning. "How are you feeling?"

"Feel so good like I was kicked by an elephant." Couldn't help herself, She answered ironically.

"What is elephant?" The ex-templar asked innocently.

Issara made rude noise in her throat. "The elephant is the biggest terrestrial animal, also known as Thailand's national animal. They're adorable, polite and smart. But if necessary, they could kill even tiger. In the old time, our king would ride it to the war. What?"

Alistair couldn't stop laughing. "I see you're all right, physically. But I'm not sure about your mind."

"It's freak as usual." Pouting, she pinched his nose with good left hand, which cause thin blanket fell. "What happen to me this time? I barely remember anything."

"You were rammed by the Ogre. Fortunately, Wynne could save your arm." Tried to make joke, he didn't like to see his exotic woman looked dismay.

"Wow, what's a great news. It's better than live with one hand, right?"

This wasn't ordinary banter. Alistair knew when Issara tried to hide her true emotion beneath those ironic words. "What are you angry at?"

True be told, she didn't want to hide anything from him, but she couldn't change her original habit. Still moody, the sweet-less lady gripped her colorless right arm angrily. "Myself,"

"What do you mean?"

"I am a leader. I suppose to be strong. But look at me right now, I'm can't even lift my arm." Those words came with small sob. "I shouldn't be here."

"No, it's not true." Carefully gathered bandaged arm, Alistair kissed her fingers softly. "You're the strongest, smartest woman I ever had known. What that happened today was just… you know, things happen. It's just bad luck. I once was rammed by an Ogre, even in heavy armor, its horn almost rip me by half. You're so lucky compare to me."

Her lips arched to soft smile. "Well, you're right. And look at the bright side; now I have any excuse to get a long sleep."

This was one of many things he does love about her; always optimist. She had emotion as ordinary human, but those unpleasant feeling never stay for long. "Wynne want you to rest too. The world outside could be all right for a few day without you."

"I don't think I can go anywhere now. At least while my flank in pain and me shirtless."

Looking down, Alistair's cheeks turned to adorable shade of pink while he was trying to conceal her breasts with blanket. "Ah… you're bigger than I thought. No, I mean…right. You ought to rest. I'll tell you if Millar comeback."

It's embarrassed, but she really enjoyed making fun of his bashfulness. What could she say? She loved to tease people she likes. However, business always came first.

"What do you mean? What happen to Millar and the others?"

"Millar, Zevran, Morrigan and Sten are helping the Dalish. They go deep in the forest for hunting the Witherfang."

Issara blinked. "Surely I miss many things those happened out there."

"Oh sorry, I'm not good about telling the story." The ex-templar blushed harder. "Thing is: after you passed out, we killed the Ogre. Despite her grief, Lynx leaded us to her clan as she promised."

"Let's me guess; the Dalish have some problem which made them wasn't able to aid us. So Millar and the others have to help them first by hunt that Witherfang. Am I right?"

Alistair chuckled dryly. "You said like you saw it."

"Sometime I hate when I was right. Anyhow, fill me the detail please." Sighed, she laid to her bedroll, eyes closed but still listening.

"Where should I start? Um…right, Lynx leaded us to her clan. But Zathrian who is their Keeper refuses to help us because his people were ambushed by the werewolves."

"Werewolf… I see what's coming." Anyone who watched many movies like her must know at least one or two things about this monster. Just how similar between monsters from the myth and real. "It doesn't just kill people. If the victims survive the attack, they would become new generation of werewolves."

"Only if them were bit. Anyhow, Zathrian said he might be able to break the curse, but he needs Witherfang's heart for that." the ex-templar added more information.

Still, Issara's brain always works fast. She had more question. "What is Witherfang, actually? And if that Zathrian need it so much, why he doesn't do it himself?"

"As the story teller said; in long time ago, a spirit was summoned from the Fade and bound in the wolf's form, they calls it Witherfang. It's spread the curse into its victim, which turned them to werewolves. If you ask me, I think that sound like creepy bedtime story. No one but Zathrian believes it real or still exists until their caravan was ambushed by those werewolves."

She had to admit, even Alistair doesn't show much intelligent, he had great memories and learn fast in anything he interesting and also thoughtful. He doesn't stupid as he thought.

"Zathrian sent his hunters to the deep of the forest for it several days ago, but they not yet return." Wondered, the teller looked at her closed eyes. He began to worry if he was talking to a sleeping girl.

"I guess he don't want to spend more of his men so he sent Millar and group instead." Still closed her eyes, Issara said with heavy sigh.

Somehow, her wisdom scared him. "Could you read my mind?"

"Logic could solve every problem." Exotic Warden smiled sleepily. "But just like the Buddha said: don't believe only because you thought it's possible. I still needs information before make my decision. So, I take that all of our comrades are fine."

"I don't remember I told you that."

Issara smiled. He really acted like good Dr. John H. Watson. "You did mention Millar, Zev, Morrigan and Sten went to deep forest to hunt the spirit. They couldn't do that if they still wounded. With the same logic, I knew Wynne is fine too. Even though you didn't mention Rabbit, I knew from your look that he is fine. Because if anything bad happen to him you will be so sad or maybe cry. And I think I smell Lea's favorite vegetable soup that only she could cook it."

"Incredible, you made it sound so easy." Admired but also scared, Alistair did afraid if she could read him like an open book.

"It's just a child's play." She smiled knowingly. They said the smart woman is a woman who know when and where to pretend to be stupid, but her ego always get the best of her. "Assumption might be funny but also dangerous, because it could be bias. And if we have bias, we can't see the truth."

Her conversationalist blinked. Issara knew she started to babbling, so this was good time for her to stop talking.

"Then, as the great holy day to get hurt and able to do nothing, I think I ought to shut my mouth and get some beauty sleep. If you get enough of my shit today, you're welcome to go anywhere you wish." She said and tugged the blanket covered her face.

The former templar sighed. His fellow Grey Warden was oversensitive, thus her temper never steady. He had to admit sometime he wasn't able to understand her.

Somehow, he couldn't stop himself from thinking about another woman. Lillian was an enigma because she always kept herself from everyone, but Issara was on the contrary. She was able to be both open and isolate person, which depend on time and circumstance. Truly enigma and totally unpredictable, but he had known her heart was gold.

As quiet as he able, Alistair left the tent. But after awhile, a dark canvas was flapped open again.

A shadow thrown over saturated blanket. There's no any word from the visitor…or intruder, neither moving. That person stood still for a long while before slowly sat down.

Hand almost touch the thick blanket while the playfully voice spoke. "You know, it's just about time before we talk again."

"You…know?" the intruder asked. Small hand gripped a hilt of dagger tighter.

"Just lucky guess, in fact I wants to speak with you again if I can walk. Anyhow, I still wonder… You came for my advice, or my life?" Woman beneath blanket replied. "You aren't the first person who tried to kill me after I killed her lover."

"But I…" The Dalish dump herself to the ground, was holding her head in pain.

"You aren't making your mind yet, are you? I maybe not a psychiatrist, but I think I understand." Flapped the fabric off her face, Issara gave the poor elf sympathetic smile. "I'm sorry, but I saw your past when I scan that bedroll. Who would have thought that small thing used to belong to many people? So I involuntary scan too many memories. Today is certainly not my good day."

"You had confused about yourself. Half of your heart wants to go to outside world but part of you still fear. I knew how confuse you were when Tamlen asked you to marry him. You did love him, but that not enough to give up your dream. So, you refused him for so long until the taint took him away. With repentance, you tried to bring him back at any cost. Alas, I killed him… no, the rest of him and stole your chance to be with your love forever. And because human… sorry, people always protect themselves from repentance, thus they blamed the other to make themselves feel better. And I am the one you blame for everything. Am I wrong?"

Lynx almost cried. "You aren't only a shem, are you? How could you know so much?"

"With my gift, I had learned so many things from the other's past. I know more than other women in my age do. One of those things is: There's always the place for you in this world. No one could tell you where it is but yourself."

Warm tear fell down from green eyes. The elf held a dagger in both hands and offered it to the Warden who was trying to get up. "Take me with you. I'll go follow you to the outside."

Issara looked at the dagger and Lynx repeatedly. "Why do you want to follow me?"

"You're right, I blamed you for Tamlen's death but now I know how stupid I was. Still, I have a question that needs answer, which I'm not able to find it myself. But under your lead, I might found it someday."

Lady Warden sighed. More companions aren't just mean more power, but also mean more responsibility. She didn't sure if she were able to bear more burdens. "You must understand that I'm not dictatorial leader, thus I have to ask my companion about you willing to join us. Besides, I need to talk to your Keeper. It won't do any good if I just drag you out of this place without his permission."

The huntress seemed unpleasant, but she nodded. "I understand. I'll wait for your call."

After Lynx left her tent, Issara sighed and laid back which caused her whine in pain. At the moment, she couldn't stop herself from concerning about her quest. Things were going to bigger than one girl could handle, she needed Arl Eamon's aid more than she ever thought. More than that, she had to be stronger and take thing more seriously, no more daydreaming or ridiculous joke.

"_Serious… hah, I wonder if you able to be serious longer than three minute."_ Her common sense teased.

"I hate myself." Issara muttered.


	25. Who afraid of the big bad wolf

Well, just like they said: if you want the job done, you must do it yourself. Poor Issara, she had to work even still in bad condition.

* * *

**Who afraid of the big bad wolf?**

* * *

The large claw swooped down so fast like thunder. Lady Warden wasn't able to do such thing but guarded her head with right arm. Dragonbone arm-guard protected her arm from wounded but the force still caused so much pain. The wave of ache vibrated in her arm in maddening echo. Issara gnashed her teeth and did thrust another blade in her left hand into her foe's neck. She twisted it and then sharply yanked it off caused its head to fell.

Panting, her legs were shaking so hard while she dodged another attack. There's no many choice, she shot the big bad wolves with gun. Although it doesn't silver bullets, four of werewolves fallen when the gunpowder exploded in its head. Anyhow, the recoil caused her arms and flank hurter than them already did. The exotic Warden totally exhausted, almost fell to her knees. Alistair ran to help her but the Dalish was faster.

"Are you all right?" Lynx asked concerning while helped carrying the redhead.

"I'm fine…just a bit tired." Still, Issara forced herself to smile and concealed her painfulness. At any rate, the leader couldn't show weakness. The follower's morale depends on leader's strength.

"Let's me see." Wynne offered. They had known she was a spirit healer; the greatest healer. So they let her took care of stubborn leader.

Leaning with a large tree, Issara took off her vest and undershirt to let the old mage check her was still hurt flank. She gnashed her teeth when Wynne applied essence of health poultice on dark violet skin.

"Perhaps we ought to go back to the camp." The older woman said in worry. "You still aren't yet fully recovered."

"I won't lie to you." Younger woman answered with weak smile. "I really want to go back and rest for year. But Millar and her team go deeper in this forest for day and not yet return. I'm worry about all of them, more than that, thing will be worst if we can't break the curse before those elves transform."

Lynx glared at Lady Warden. She had never met any shem who concern about the other than herself, especially of the elves. The huntress denied the Keeper's order that forbidden the member of the clan from getting to the deep forest because she wanted to know more about this woman. But Issara was more than her expectation.

However, the old mage still tried to reason. "But you're hurting, dear. With the body like this, you can't go far."

"I swear I won't overdo myself and drink anything you give. But I really can't leave this forest until everyone safe. This place is…intensity with a lot of spirits. I'm not sure if Morrigan had known how to handle it." Stubborn Warden insisted.

The Dalish exclaimed in surprise. "You know it? I had never gone this far but I heard about the heart of forest. The story teller said there're many battles inside this forest, and people who lost their life still remain here."

"That means we're standing in haunted forest? Wow, what the great news." Alistair interjected.

"Congratulation," Issara mocked and automatically redone her shirt. However, before she could go anywhere, Wynne gave her a bottle of stinky potion.

"Drink it or I will straight you down and command Alistair to carry you back to camp."

You shouldn't argue with you grandma. Issara squeezed her nose and drank it in one sip, followed with a large gulp of water. "Yuck… Alright, can we go now?"

"You bruises won't better if you continue walk like this. I suggest you to rest for an hour or so." The spirit healer ordered.

The leader looked around. "I don't mean to challenge you, my dear grandma. But this spot doesn't a good place for rest. There're so many open spaces, the attack could come from any direction. We should find another spot if I really need rest."

"That won't be so hard." The wild elf said and pointed at strange symbol in the bark of the tree that Issara was leaning with. "This symbol told us there's one of us near this tree. Anerin's camp must be somewhere around here."

"Anerin…" Lady Warden repeated. "Aren't that your apprentice… the one you mentioned?"

No one was able to resist when lovely Warden asked them anything. The old mage told her a lot, and Anerin was the only regret of Wynne. Many years ago, she pressed upon this elf apprentice too much, which made him ran from the tower and eventually hunted down by the templar.

"Perhaps it is the elves' common name. This one can't be him." Wynne denied. She wanted to believe if her old apprentice still alive in somewhere, but it could be a false hope that hurt her more.

Lynx replied honestly. "I'd known only one Anerin. He is great healer but he prefers to live alone in the deep forest. Any clan could ask him for aid anytime."

"It doesn't hurt to find him. We need some aid anyway." Issara gave her teacher a big smile.

Who could resist that smile? The old mage smiled back and then sighed. "You're right, my dear apprentice. But you can't walk now… So, can you help me, Alistair?" In the last sentence, Wynne asked her favorite templar.

"Anything for my second favorite mage," He replied happily. "What do you want me to do?"

"Carry her until we found a good place for rest." The old mage commanded seriously, even though both Grey Warden gasped.

However, Issara was always reasonable. She saw no other option so she wouldn't argue. "Alright, then Lynx and Rabbit will in the frontline for looking for the path and watch out for anything hostile. Wynn, you will cover our hide in the backline. And for Ali, you won't able to move freely if you have to carry me. Perhaps it will more convenient if I ride you, piggy style."

To be honest, Alistair wasn't a pure heart chantry-boy as Morrigan bantered. When he heard she said she would ride him, he got some…improperly idea. "As you wish,"

Issara might notice something in his voice. She made funny face and stared him doubtfully but didn't say any word.

…

The potion that Wynne gave to Issara was sleeping potion, so she fell asleep on Alistair's back before the party found small campfire in East Brecilian Forest and still slept until the ex-templar woke her up.

"How long I slept?" Little leader asked sleepily. Her eyes were hardly open while she was yawning, looked like a girl more than woman.

Alistair thought it so cute. Her big brown eyes looked…yummy when they were around with honey shade skin. She just glared at him with them, and he lost all of self-control he had. Involuntary, his hand reached to her honey cheek. "Not been long,"

Didn't think much, she rubbed her cheek with his hand softly. Her lips parted slightly when she thought about how it felt when his putted his hands on her last time.

He couldn't stand it. Alistair gently gathered her into his embrace, paused for awhile to give her chance to deny. But she cradled his cheeks in her hands before pulled him closer. After that, he didn't need more encouragement.

Since last time in Denerim, they weren't able to be like this because of lack of privacy. However, Anerin loaned them his tent. So they were having private moment.

No more pain around her flank or arm, Issara let him explored her…Lillian's body as he please. She moaned softly when his kiss traced around her jaw, involuntary gripped his shoulders tightly when he took her earlobe into his mouth and nipped it gently. All the time, she never had known how hot she made him. Thankfully he was wearing massive armor, or they might go farther than simple kiss and cuddle.

"Maker's blood, you're so beautiful." He murmured.

Smiled shyly, she reached to the back of her neck to take off light-brown bandana, to give him better access. However, he grabbed that fabric and smelled her sweet scent that reminding.

"Can I have it?" Alistair asked. "We hardly have anytime to be together. This will remind me of you if we… you know."

How sweet he could be? "I love to give something to you but I can't give you anything that not mines."

"What does it mean?"

Softly, she showed him small alphabets on a corner of light-brown fabric. "This is…was Lady Eleanor's handkerchief. In the night that Highever had fallen, she used this as the bandage to dress my wound. At first, I thought she did it because she thinks I'm her daughter. But before we…part, she told me that she loved me even she has known I'm not Lillian. So, I keep it as my spirit mother's keep sake. You know, they said people haven't truly dead unless everyone forget them. As long as I still remember, Teyrn and Teyrna Cousland will still alive in my heart."

He had known what she believed about family. Blood doesn't the most important thing to be family, the relationship do. Although the Couslands weren't bound with her by blood, they still were her family.

Anyway, before he could say anything, she grinned slyly and said. "I happen to know what I shall give you but…I can't give it to you right now. You have to be patient."

"What is it? A golem doll or a knight figure perhaps," Trying to guess, but her mischievous grin told him that didn't even close. "Oh, come on. Tell me, I don't like to be left in the dark."

"Just for temporally, nah… Don't you like a surprise? I swear it will be worthwhile."

He looked dismay, but suddenly changed. "Could I get some…guarantee?"

"Well, we always could seal the deal with…the kiss." Naughty dazzled him with her tongue on his lower lips. She smiled when he groaned her name in ecstasy. However, her hands pushed on his breastplate, stopped him from grinded himself with hers. "Your armor crushed my skin and Wynne will furious if I got bruised again. So, we ought to stop, unless…you take your armor off."

Alistair groaned fiercely. He should have known she loved teasing him, especially because of she knew how bashful he was. "You're very wicked woman."

"Thank you for the compliment." Not so proud, but a woman from another world knew she certainly wasn't so innocent person. Part of her wanted to challenge him, unleash him from his self-control and meet the beast within. Who afraid of the big bad wolf anyway?

With deep growl inside his throat, the ex-chantry boy warned her. "Maker… Woman, you're driving me insane."

Issaa just smiled and then left the tent. Alistair followed her close like faithful dog but tried to conceal his emotion when they saw the old mage and the healer were sitting around the fire, having conversation. Not far, Lynx was eating roasted quail, while Rabbit took care of the leftover.

Wynne stopped talking with the elf when she noticed her patient. However, small smile still was on her face. "How are you feeling?"

Darker color eyebrows arched in curiousness. Her teacher seemed a lot younger and happier than normally. "Very much better, I'm not hurt anymore but… This must be out generous host: Anerin, yes?"

"Yes, he is." The older mage replied with small sob. "And he is the same Anerin I told you about."

"Oh… This is pleasant news. My name's Issara, I'm really glad to see you well, Anerin." Smiled wide, Issara shook the healer's hands hardly.

"Thank you, kind lady." The elf mage carefully removed his hands from hers. He seemed to don't familiar with so friendly human.

"No-no-no, no need to be formal," The Warden smiled. "We are Wynne's apprentices; back to my country, we are the brethrens. You can call me Issara."

That sounded strange for him, but also made him felt at ease. "I'm glad to see you as well, Issara. Wynne told me she is traveling with you. It's good to know that she with good person."

"Well, thank you for your kind word but I'm the one who appreciate her aid. I don't think I can go this far without her." As always, the exotic Warden replied politely. "I want to talk with you longer. You must have something about Wynne that we could assemble and giggle together for a week, but I need to find my comrades. Didn't you see any traveler around here? They went to this forest for a day."

Not different from the other, Anerin eventually caught silly smile disease. He smiled back like they were long term friends. "I knew something that could make our dear instructor blush. Too bad, we don't have a week for those. For your question, I met the elves, qunari and human yesterday. I told them to go back but the leader said she had important business in the heart of the forest."

"Which way they've gone?"

"South east," He showed her the way. "There's a narrow path that lead you to the old ruin. I never go inside but I used to see the werewolves came from that ancient place."

Something strange, Issara asked in curiousness. "They've never bother you?"

"I'm not sure why, but they never have."

The lady Grey Warden frowned. That answer wasn't good enough for her but she knew it's true. In the second she shook the man's hands, she scan his memories and knew everything in his life pass through a few day. She just asked him because she wanted to test his honesty. The carelessness is the way to the death. Even though Anerin were Wynne's pupil doesn't mean he will be good person.

Anyway, it doesn't matter. She still had friends to rescue, with his help or no. "Thank for your help and farewell, Anerin. I guess we have a long way to go."

"Something tells me that there're many dangerous things inside that place. But although I suggest you to go back, you surely won't, so be careful."

"Thank you." Issara replied and shook his hands.

Wynne gave Anerin one last hug before followed the Grey Wardens to long, narrow path. She smiled wider while her eyes met Lady Warden. "Thank you, Issara."

"For what? I don't remember what I did to deserve it." Younger mage bantered. She knew what her teacher wanted to appreciate for, but she really couldn't change her irksome habit.

Didn't understand or just didn't care, the older mage answered. "You brought me to him, even you didn't mean it. We talked and understand each other, I could die as happy old woman for have known my deed is done."

Issara had known about Wynne's condition. The old mage was already dead since the horrible event in the tower of magi but the spirit gave her another live. Nowadays, she lived with borrowed life, similar with the exotic woman who borrowed the life from the Teyrn's daughter. Anyway, when is the last time she could be so serious?

"Just remember this feeling when I accidently burn or freeze something with my magic…again." Novice mage smile sheepishly while was thinking about the accident in her training. More than one time, Lillian's power goes out off her control and destroyed everything it touched. Wynne was always cleared the mess and punished her with a pinch on her cheek or ear.

True be told, the grey hair mage never angry about the young one's mistake but the expression when Issara was pinched is priceless. Wynne loved to pinch those cheeks as much as her loved to made Alistair blush. Intend or not, these kids always made her feel alive, no matter how briefly it could be.

So, she pinched that cheek lightly, which made the cheek's owner moaned like a child. "Oww, what did I done to deserve that?"

Wynne didn't answer. She just smiled and increased her walking speed to meet Lynx and Rabbit who were walking in the front line, left the confused Grey Wardens behind.

…

The narrow path led them to darker part of the wilds. Just an hour or so, the party found the ancient ruin was hiding in the green shadow of ancient forest. From the look, they thought they would able to walk to the destination that seemed to don't farther than a mile. But no matter how they tried, it's still beyond their reach.

"This isn't good." Issara groaned. "My grandpa used to tell me about something like this. There's something blocking our path."

"So, what shall we do now?" Lynx asked. She was panting because of long walk.

"Well, just like what my people said: if wits can't bring you success, you ought to use force." The exotic Warden held her throwing knife in between her palms, and then closed her eyes. Her lips moved in silent chant while something in the air was moving in chaos. The mage and templar knew she was using magic, but it's strange kind from what they ever have known.

Alistair was still remembered. Back to the tower of magi, once he was trapped in the Fade, Issara used that knife cut through the wall to invade his dream realm. She surely knew how to handle these kinds of problem.

At last, Issara slashed the knife in the air in front of her. Suddenly, they heard piercing scream like someone was in horrible pain came from nowhere. Nothing changed for the eyes could see, but they felt the air was lighter.

"Tsk-tsk-tsk, you should practice more before try to mess with me." She grinned while was looking at het knife that now covered in crimson liquid.

"What-what is that?" Lynx exclaimed. "I saw you slashed the air. Where is that blood came from?"

Younger mage looked confuse. "It's complicated, especially for ordinary people. Well, just say I had been destroyed our obstacle already. Now we can…"

"Issara..!" Someone shouted.

When they turned to that direction, the party found what they came for. Millar, Sten, Zav and Morrigan were standing not far from them. The lost party seemed surprised and exhausted, all of them was glad to see the rescues.

"My dear Warden, I really glad to see you again." With insincere smile, the assassin leapt to the beautiful leader with wide hug. Alas, the jealous templar dragged her out of his way. So, instead of hug Issara, Zav bumped to furious Lynx and was slapped.

"Ow, that must be hurt." Alistair mocked. Issara rolled her eyes and nudge his ab.

Anyway, Issara gave Millar and Morrigan a hug, even the last woman tried to deny it. "Are you all alright?"

"Just tired and hungry, we don't rest or eat anything since this morning." The elven Warden answered. "I don't know what exactly happened. We just tried to walk to that ruin but we lost in strange fog. Suddenly, it's gone and we found you. I'm totally confusing."

"Well, my grandpa used to tell me about the ghost that uses black magic blind people and trap them in its domain. When the victim fell asleep, it will suck the essence of live from that person to dead. I always thought he just wanted to make me fear, but it looks like he spoke the true." Wiping bloody liquid off her knife with a leaf, Issara admired small runes in the sharp blade. "The good thing is: he also taught me how to defeat these fiends. And this enchanted knife could be useful more than I expected."

"You killed it, yes?" Millar asked. She was city elf, thus she doesn't familiar with the wild. In fact, she fears it.

"I'm not sure, but at least we can go to the ruin. However, I think you ought to go back to the camp and let me take care of the quest."

"No, I won't let you do my job." The elf refused. "We agreed that I'll take care of the Dalish and you go to Haven. I am Grey Warden too, Issara. I have to make it done."

The leader sighed. She knew how stubborn women could be, thus she had no attention to offend her friend. "Alright, you won. We will go inside together. But you must eat something first…all of you." Last sentence, she ordered everyone in party of four, include Sten.

The qunari and witch grunted but followed her command. Even though they tried to look tough, they still have soft side and the need some rest.

Wynne might be the oldest member of the party, but Issara is only one that they respect most. She wasn't just leading them, but also took care of them like they're her family. Day after day, her attitudes broke their walls. Even the witch of the wilds knew that they would follow her to the ocean of darkspawns if she asks them to.

…

"Will you angry if I tell you something?" Issara asked her instructor when the group of zombies ran to them. The ancient ruin was full with those walking dead.

"It does depend on: what is that about?" Wynne throw the magic rock to the nearest undead.

"Um… I just… I had learned a thing or two from Morrigan." Shooting the Devouring corpses, but metal bolt doesn't effect on the dry flesh as much as she wanted. Perhaps she needed another solution. "I'm sorry I don't tell you sooner."

"If that could help us from this situation, do it now!" Millar who was handling two enraged corpses shouted. She was still too tired to fight with lot of enemies.

"I never use it in fight but… everything has the first time." The exotic Warden placed her crossbow and then closed her eyes. A second later, she transformed to a strange beast that looked like very big cat.

Golden fur looked so bright in the torch light, contrasted with beautiful raven stripes those line up on muscular but nimble body. Issara pounced on the enemies with powerful force that almost broke them. However, claws and fangs were her most fearful weapons. Every time she beat those dried corpses with those huge talons, some part of them was cut piece by piece.

Alistair shocked. He stood still; looking the golden beast gripped the zombie at its neck and thrashed it with the stone wall until totally crushed to pile of debris. No matter what this beast was, it's so strong and…charismatic.

Almost doesn't different from her normally movement, Lady Grey Warden in animal form moved in swift and smooth motion. Still full of confident, she turned back to original form in front of everyone.

"It's not bad, is it?" Issara asked, not specific to anyone.

"You make me proud." Morrigan replied, which made newbie shape-shifter smiled wider.

Another mage made rude noise in her throat. "It seems you could do better with this school of magic."

The grey hair mage pouted, Issara hurried apologize. "I'm sorry, Wynne. I just wanted to learn as much as I able. And…I didn't tell you because I afraid if you will angry."

Sad eyes, lovely voice and regretful gesture were her most powerful trick to soften people's heart. At last, Wynne sighed in surrender. "All right, but if you wants to learn anything…beyond the circle's knowledge again, you must inform me first."

"By girl scout's honor," Issara gave her teacher unofficial salute.

These playful attitudes could make her smile, but sometime it also made her want to stop breathing. The old mage sighed again and pinched that soft cheek.

Issara shouted, a bit overreact but her funny expression made everyone laughed. As Thai people, she loved to see her friends in the good mood. At any rate, gloomy mind unable to think about bright idea as cheerful mind does.

However, there's someone curious.

"I knew about shape-shifter and know many kinds of animals. But I have no idea about the beast you able to become. What is that, exactly?" The huntress asked.

"Um… I don't know if Ferelden have this species of wild creature. The predator I turned to is tiger, well, what is that name? Oh, right, it called royal tiger…" Issara paused. She just remembered about Lillian's prophecy. And when she looked at Alistair, she knew he was thinking about it too.

_One day, a royal beast will come. Good or bad, happy or tragedy, the destiny of yours, Ferelden and a whole world would depend on it. Whatever the result might be, you would become someone you never wanted to be in the end._

"_Lillian knew about me."_ Issara wondered to herself. _"Why I do have bad feeling about it? Perhaps I should pay more attention on her encode journal."_

Things never had been easy for her. Issara didn't have even the time to think, her thought was completely distract by the roar. In another room, the pack of werewolves was standing in front of them but didn't attack. The exotic Warden grabbed her crossbow but was stopped by another female Warden.

"That's Swiftrunner." Millar grunted to a brown werewolf who leaded the pack. "When I enter the forest, he warned me to turn back. If he doesn't try to attack us, he might have something to talk."

Dark eyebrows arched in curiousness, but downed her weapon anyway. "Then, what do you want?"

The werewolf snarled. It looked hostile but tried to control its temper. "I have to admit. I never have thought you will able to come this far. But you gave us too much pain in our neck, so the lady wants to talk to you."

"Be careful, this could be the trap." Alistair warned.

Issara thought about it. Follow them in peace or fight, both ways could lead her to the lady but the result must be different. Anyway, although she prefers the peaceful solution, she should prepare in case this meeting is a trap.

"Alright, I'll go with you. I prefer not to fight, everybody down your weapon." She sheathed her weapon, and then winked.

The party didn't know that signal but they saw Issara left her pistol's pocket open, in ready to use it. Even Lynx understood that hint, which mean: you must be wary.

* * *

There're many ghost stories those about the wilds. The one that refer in this chapter is wild ghost (yes, this name.). This thing was any creature that died in the wild, probably used to be wild animal or human. Mostly was found in the woman's form. In the story, it will use magic to make its victim sleep and drink their blood. Anyway, some story said it was mystic human's race that hidden in the deep forest and would come to outside world just once per year for hunt human's head. I don't think either or both of them were true. But it's still give me some creep everytime I thought about it.


	26. A dream is a wish your heart makes

A dream is a wish your heart makes.

* * *

Eased her back with a pile of wooden crates, Issara was sitting on the rim of celebration area, watching the Dalish celebrated their survivorship.

Sound strange, they just buried their old Keeper just before the sunset, but now, under the moonshine they were dancing, laughing and singing. The wild elf's philosophy seemed complicated, but the exotic Warden understood it completely. Her people too, have known about the truth of live, so they always know how to find something to enjoy even in the hard time. Birth, old, sick and death: all the truths those unable to escape. Why don't enjoy your day while you still able?

Dead people's business would pass on the next generation. Issara raised a mug of wine in her hand to the tree that planted above Zathrian's grave. "For the future," She cheered.

Wild wine was potent, but still weaker than her grandfather's illegal booze1 that she familiar with. As always, Issara still fully sobered though most of her companions already retired for the night. Both mage left to their tent since two hour ago, Sten and Rabbit fell asleep beside each other in the rim of celebration's ring while Miller and Leliana wasn't anywhere in sight, Zev and Lynx seemed to be enjoy dancing with the Dalish…

"Don't you want to dance?"

Issara looked up, and saw Lanaya: Zathrian's first who now was a new Keeper. Her eyes were swelling from crying but her voice steady. Then the exotic Grey Warden smiled. "I afraid I have no enough energy for move more muscle tonight. Besides, my wounds are still recovering."

The keeper glared at the Warden. That woman was wearing over-size tunic and simple breeches which covered most of her skin, but Lanaya could see some dark bruises on Warden's neck and limbs. "You fought so hard for us."

"Oh, this…" Still smiled careless, Issara pointed at her bruises playfully. "Most of it happened because of my poor capability, so this is my fault and I deserve it. No need to concern."

_This shem is so strange, but good._ _Although the Blight is terrified, I'm glad we have her as the leader._ Lanaya thought.

"Lynx told me she will leave the clan with you." The Keeper asked. "Is that true?"

"It's her decision. But I'll take care of her like my own sister, you have my word." She was able to be serious if she need to. The Keeper looked at her in surprise.

"You're capable leader. I'm not doubt that Lynx will be save under your leadership. But even among all of us, that girl is a rebel. I afraid she might give you problem."

"Once in a life time, we all were trouble maker I think. She said she have the question she need to find answer. I don't know what it is but I believe she had every right in the world to find it, so I won't let her down." With softer smile, Issara took another sip.

"I hope she appreciate her chance. Travel with you must be interesting journey. I might follow you myself if I don't have to take care of my clan." The Keeper said sincerely.

"We both have duty. You have to stay here to gather your people for the last fight. I hope we will fight along each other's side when the time comes."

Lanaya smiled and clink her mug against Issara's. "You bet,"

They sat on the leaves ground. Exchange their stories and philosophy, both women felt a bit surprise when they're realized how easy to talk with someone from another race. Friendship is beyond the boundary, they understood it completely.

However, all parties must come to an end. Someone took a wooden mug from Issara's hand and lifted her up. "Enough for the day, the patient need to rest."

No matter how alcohol-tolerant she was, the alcohol still was the winner in the end. The exotic lady lost her precaution and enfolded her arms around the party-spoiler, giggled. "Well, is this our lovely templar? Came to capture a dangerous mage, don't you?"

There's no armor between them. Alistair could feel her soft body was pressing against his chest, through his thin tunic. He groaned while she rested her face in between the crook of his neck. Maker help him, this woman will be the death of him someday. "You're drunk."

"Then, take me to your tent, my Stallion." Issara whispered huskily. She hinted the last word with lightly fondled down to the lace of his trousers.

It took all of his templar's discipline to resist her teasing. He knew she did it because she was drunk. Tomorrow morning she would forget everything and become the old prudent Warden.

"That's enough. I'll take you to somewhere save before you do something you will regret later."

…

Back on the green rug, face up to dark canvas of staring sky. Issara was admiring the staring night from atop of small hill. For a long while, she just enjoyed the mother earth's art and symphony of silent. This was her favorite dream of all time.

"Can I have a word?"

A little panic, the exotic Warden jumped to her feet. "Zathrian…"

The old elf smiled eyes softer than she ever saw. "You look better than the last time we met."

"Your wild sylvan almost got me. I'm just lucky to have my comrades." Issara replied with soft smile. "Well, perhaps we ought to sit down. I'm sure you have a lot to say."

"Thank you." Zathrian said and sat down near the Warden. At that, he glared at her until the young woman felt nervous.

"What's wrong on my face?" With wide eyes, Issara asked him nervously.

The old elf smiled. "I just thought; you're so different from the first time I saw you."

"Well, that is…understandable. Your…ability is changed since…you die." this is gonna be uncomfortable. She thought before added. "I knew it sound lame and help nothing but…I'm really sorry about it."

But he smiled in understanding. "No need to apologize, you'd done the good thing for all of us. Actually, you have saved me from the vengeance that chained me with those werewolves. Even I lost my life, my spirit is in peace. I feel better than once I still lived with so much hate."

"Live only one day with happiness is better than hundred years of sorrowful life; I heard it from somewhere." Still didn't sure what to do, Issara played with her bandana nervously while thinking about afternoon.

The Grey Warden and co followed the beasts into the ruin hall. There, more werewolves were standing around, growling hostile. Issara feared she might lead everyone to the ambush, but thing suddenly changed when a green skin woman appeared. She placed her hand on Swiftrunner's shoulder which calmed him down, and then the rest of the pack slowly turned silence.

Just a look, but even Alistair dared to say this woman wasn't human. More than her unordinary skin shade and the vines those clinked itself on hers, the lady looked a bit horrific because her eyes had no the white portion.

After a few conversations, the exotic Warden had learned another side of the story from Lady of the forest.

"A long time ago, the peasants who were living near Brecilian Forest captured two Dalishs. They killed the boy and raped the girl, left her to dead. Her clan found her and saved her life. But when she learned she was…with child, she killed herself."

Issara really wanted to vomit.

"The poor elves were Zathrian's children. To revenge on his lost, he summoned spirit from the Fade and bound it to the white wolf form. Witherfang killed the peasants and turned the survivors to the werewolves. Not for long, there's no human's village near the forest anymore. But Zathrian's vendetta never ended, the curse still exist even people whom commit the crime all die or suffer in the form of the beasts."

Swiftrunner looked down in shame. He bowed to the lady in sincerely appreciation. "I lived as the beast until I found you, milady."

After awhile, the exotic Warden asked with all seriousness. "But why you attacked the Dalish, to revenge?"

"No, all we need is to lift the curse. Every time Zathrian and his clan came near this area, we sent him word, bagged him to undone this torture but he never responded. We will wait no longer, thus we attacked his clan to force him to lift the curse. But it seems he thought about another option." The lady of the forest said emotionlessly. "He sent you and your friends to hunt Witherfang. Anyway, I have another offer for you."

"What is the offer you have?" even though Issara wasn't able to scan the spirit, somehow she felt uncomfortable about this option.

"Bring Zathrian here, this place is where the curse started, he have to end it here."

"Sorry, do you really think he would come? No offend or anything, but not everyone will crazy enough to walk to werewolf's den like me." Issara always speak like a nut but those words always reasonable.

"If he doesn't come, I will use my power send Witherfang to faraway place. You will never found him and the Dalish won't get the cure."

It seemed this lady underestimate her. "I beg your pardon. If you really want my help, at least you should be honest with me. Although I'm not a genius, I'm not an idiot either. I knew you're Witherfang, don't lie to me."

Those words had greater effect on them more than anyone realized. The entire room fell to silent, even the lady.

"Before I promise anything, I need to ask only one question. Can you enlighten me, Swiftrunner?" Issara asked seriously.

Brown beast glazed at her in surprise. "What do you want to know?"

Frowning, the exotic Warden said slowly. No mockery, no provoke, her decision depend on his answer. "Have you regret in what you done to that girl?"

She didn't have to use her blade, only her words hurt him badly than he ever suffer. Swiftrunner replied with tremble voice. "No single day I slept without that nightmare, even now."

The Buddhist believes in redemption and forgiveness. If anyone regretted in their sin, they weren't the truly bad people. Issara wouldn't turn them down. "Alright, I'll do as you ask. Just don't make me regret for help you."

She lost her chain of thought when another unexpected guest appeared.

"Greeting, mortal." Former lady of the forest saluted. She was lady no longer but still kept her human-like form. Anyhow, she looked at the elf and stepped back. "Did I interrupt anything?"

"Absolutely not," The Warden tried to smile. "But… could anyone tell me why you two came to my dream tonight?"

They looked disturb. "I'm sorry for trouble you, Warden."

She was her own self, Issara just smiled. "It's nothing. Since I was young, dead people invaded my dream so often than I able to count. I really get use to with it, no problem at all."

With different culture, they didn't get her gag. However, the spirits relaxed.

"I just want to say thank." Zathrian said first. "You had freed me and also saved my clan. For that, you have my appreciation forever."

Embarrassed, the Warden blushed so hard. "Don't mention it. I just did what I should. Besides, the one who ended the curse even that cost your life was you. I did nothing."

Come to think about it. She thought she almost mess thing up.

After the meeting with the lady, Issara found the Keeper in the ruin. Somehow, he followed her party to that place. Although he didn't give her any reason, the exotic Warden rather sure he didn't trust her, so he wanted to do the job himself.

They argued, but she could convince him to go meet the spirit at last. The old elf continued grumble all the way to werewolf's den. And because Zathrian never hid his malice toward the lady of the forest and her furry friends, Issara knew the negotiation was impossible without her push.

"I understand your grief, Zathrian. But it's a long time ago, everyone suffers for too long. Whatever you'd done couldn't bring them back. You should let it go."

"How could you understand my grief?" The Keeper shouted, more insane. "How could you know how it felt when I held the lifeless bodies of my children in my arms? They're so young and suffered so much before death took them. These beasts got what they deserve, I won't let them free."

Migraine nearly got Issara again. She sighed deeply in dismay. "Alright, I admit I never known the felling of losing my child because I never have one but that doesn't mean I never lost anyone who special to me. The sorrow is only thing that everyone has in equal. Elves, human or Dwarves, they're all the friends whom sharing their grief in the circle of karma. I… damn, I'm babbling again."

Even though everyone was looking at her confusing, no one was able to get mad on that blushing face. The exotic Warden tried to regain her confident to speak more sanity.

"However, the stone you cast will back to you someday. Don't you see what happen to your clan right now? Do you really want to let them suffer too?"

Zathrian growled. He loved his clan like his own children and never wants to let them suffer, but the vendetta was still gripping in his heart.

He needed more push, so Issara had to find some words. "Lanaya; your pupil told me that you're mercy on her like her father. I believe your children surely love you in that way too. But the hate changed you to monster. Do you think your children will be happy if they know what happen to you because of their lost? I, myself is a girl of my father. I'd known how much I love him and know how I feel if he was burn in the hate because of me. It feels so bad, really bad."

That's all. The Keeper lost the grip when her words stroked at his heart. In his opinion, this human was so lovely which remind him of his long gone daughter. When he heard her speak like that, it felt like those words came from another girl.

"I…" He faced the lady. "What about you, spirit? You and I are bound with the curse. If I end it, we both will die. Don't you fear it?"

"You gave me life but I'm not actually living. I have the form but have no emotion. What good about living if I can't love? I don't want to live like this anymore, Zathrian." The lady aka Witherfang replied.

Issara always thought much. Those words gave her another thing to think about so she kept quiet, waiting for them to make decision.

The silence covered the stone hall. There's not much sound but the echo of wooden staff bumped to stone floor, which followed by the bright light. The exotic Grey Warden didn't sure what was happening till she heard.

"_Ma serannas__, Grey Warden."_

With her special sight, Issara saw the elves; a girl and a boy. They're smiling while holding Zathrian's hands. _"We have waiting him to be free for so long. You have our gratitude forever, kind lady. In return, we will tell you the secret."_

"_Be careful," _The spirit knew about the thing that calls 'heaven's secret' but they unable to tell the mortal because it would be against the rule. So, they have to say it in riddle. _"The white wicked witch wants to break you, and she won't stop until she got what she wants. Don't let her succeed, or Ferelden and your man will doom."_

"Who is she?" Issara wondered. But on second thought, that one could be Flemeth. The old shape-shifter had the white hair and she was wicked.

"_We can't tell you. Anyhow, we'll pray for you from another world." _And then, the family disappeared.

When the light faded, Issara opened her outer eyes to was found naked people. Because the curse had ended, so the werewolves turned back to their original form…without any cloth. Involuntary, the exotic Warden covered her face with both hands. Her cheeks were burning while she hid behind Alistair's tall body.

"We…are free." The tall man with extraordinary eyes color said. From the scar on his face, they assumed he was Swiftrunner. "Thank to you, Warden. We won't forget this."

"It's alright." Issara replied from behind the ex-templar. Still in hiding, she waved her hand cheerfully. "But what do you going to do?"

"After find some cloth..? I think I'm going to get out of this forest and find the human's colony. If I am able, I may join your armies to fight against the Blight. It might not good enough, but it will be only thing I can do to redeem myself."

Smiled wider, the cheerful Grey Warden blessed him. "I hope you be well, Swiftrunner. See you again when the duty call."

She couldn't see, but Alistair told her later that the ex-beast bowed in front of them and then said. "You saved us. I'll do anything in my power to serve you."

"More people will take that vow for you…" Lady in green interjected. Her words brought Issara back to present.

The exotic Warden blinked. "I beg your pardon?"

"You're important person, more than you ever realize. That is why I came here tonight. I will teach you to tame Lillian's power, and may strengthen it."

From those she had learned, thus Issara was sure she better make thing clear before accept anything that offered by the immortal. "Wait a minute… This isn't blood magic or something like that, right?"

"Of course not," those black eyes were sparking in dim light. "I'll teach you the Spirit Warrior's technique. With this knowledge, you will able to use the power of the Fade to improve your combat ability."

The elf spirit sighed. "I can't help you in the battle that will come. Perhaps I ought to repay you in another way. What if I teach you to be Arcane Warrior? This technique has been lost for very long time; I had learned it from the ancient elf spirit inside the ancient ruin."

Always wants to stronger, Issara saluted them in appreciation. "Thank you. I owe you both a lot."

But the spirits held her hands. "No, we both owe you more. The people we left behind need your strength. They're relied on you. Please don't fail them."

Came to think about it, Issara realized she had no choice. She couldn't control her fate since she accepted the demon's offer. Only thing she could do is jump into this mess and fight her way out, at any cost.

"Fuck the archdemon and his minions. I'll do my best to save this world. Please toughen me in any way you're able."

…

In the morning, Issara opened her eyes and found herself was lying in someone's tent, with snoring templar behind her. Alistair's large frame was clinging with hers in spoon position. His arms were so warm in the cold morning. So tempting, she wanted to rest here for eternity.

Smiled and rested her face to a hard pillow, but suddenly jerked when realized that she shouldn't suppose to be here. What happened last night? How could she end up in Alistair's tent? And what was the hell that poking her butt? Wow, that…impressive, chantry-boy.

With many 'source of information', Issara wasn't exactly innocent virgin. She'd known about men's tension in the morning. It's just natural of healthy men. So, she didn't panic, just tried to untie herself off him before he awake.

Her train of thought totally lost while naughty hands found its way to slipped beneath her over-size tunic. Even though she wore the tank-top underneath that prevent him from trespass further, brush of his rough hands still made her flushed with some strange feeling she never known. Thing was going to be worse with his hot breath poured on her earlobe and sensitive spot on her neck.

"Issara… By the Maker, you feel so good." Husky shaking voice vibrant just a few millimeter from her earlobe. No need to use her gift, she knew completely about what was he dreaming.

"A…Ali," Issara called him breathlessly. If he didn't stop now, she might do something they both would regret later.

It took some time before the ex-templar fully awaked. This fantasy seemed real and really pleasant. He still thought the woman in his arms was a dream until he found some part of him 'woke up' and shamelessly pressing against her firm butt. Despite the fabrics between them, Issara seemed to know full well about what was happening. She blushed like mad as her breath ragged.

"Issara… I'm sorry. I just… Maker helps me." And then, Alistair ran off the tent.

Alone in his tent, the exotic woman thought about back to her own tent. Alas, the first thing she met outside was knowingly grin of Zevran and incredible wide hanging jaws of Lynx.

"Before any of you make smart comment; this isn't what you think." The leader defended.

"Of course, dear Warden," The ex-crow chuckled. "Our innocent templar just ran off that tent shirtless and you followed him with disheveled cloth and flush from head to toe. I think you both just finish…sparring, perhaps."

Issara moaned in dismay. "Ouch… Whatever, I'm going to back to my tent and stay in there until the Blight come…or the breakfast ready."

"Now I knew how that Warden fall for you." The Dalish added. "You aren't just beautiful and smart, but also rich of humors. How could any man resist such abilities?"

_Garr… this couple is driving me mad._ Issara roared like a tiger and ran to her tent.

* * *

1 In Thailand, the booze producer needs the license for making their goods, but people in some regent still make it beyond the authorities' knowledge. Most of these products are potent which may too strong and toxic. Well, they said the good booze will able to use light the fire, but I never taste any of it.


	27. Leave Out All The Rest

Leave Out All the Rest

* * *

Since the night of lost battle, Ostagar had changed forever.

Despite the chilly weather, the ruin once full of life and peace. But now it was lifeless and full of despair. The snow couldn't hide the trace of destruction, massacre and lost. Just first step on the white ground, Issara could sense the echo of desperate ghosts from the air. It cut deep in her heart and made her cried.

"Issara, are you all right?" Millar asked. The elf Warden did seem to handle the grief better than the leader, but she hadn't able to hear those voices anyway.

"I'm fine. I just… so many people die here, their emotions still remain, I can sense all of it. And…it's hurting me inside, like a thorn on my heart." She tried to suppress the tear, but it wasn't stop. Perhaps she shouldn't stay here for too long. "Let's go. We have to find the documents and… anything."

Just a few step, the exotic Warden felt nauseate. She knew this feeling.

"Darkspawn..!" Three Grey Wardens shouted in unison.

"Sten, you and Alistair take care of heavy armor monsters." The leader commanded. "Morrigan, use your Entropy spells on them. Lynx and Lea use your bows take down the archers and Emissaries. Millar, Zev and I will take down the rest. Wynne, you stay in back line and support us. Rabbit, guard her."

In the fight, Issara's word is commandment. Although the oldest mage felt the change from her pupil, she didn't say anything. However, she didn't need to wait for long. Issara never hide her talent in battle so she showed her extraordinary abilities in no time.

From the entrance, the Grey Wardens and company march to the roofless hall that once was the war-council and use for the joining ritual. The Emissary was waiting for them. It was cast the freeze spell on Issara like it knew which Warden was the most dangerous foe.

To everyone's surprise, the spell didn't work. Instead of was froze, the exotic Warden hurled to the tainted mage with incredible speed. And because she wore overcoat instead of cloak like the other, she could move freely. Her thin, light and agile blades cut through the space between those metal pieces of its armor, slaughter the tainted creature alive.

Too bad, that move consumed her mana rapidly. She had to use her combat skill to fight other enemies. In close-encounter range, Issara rely on her Muay-Thai skill. The clumsy heavy darkspawns had no chance against agile warrior. No matter how kind she was in other circumstances, she had no mercy in the battlefield. In fact, it's look like she enjoys breaking their bones.

The stealth Genlock tried to stab her from the back, but the assassin killed it first. The companion did their job and everything done just fine.

Anyway, when they ransacked the corpses, Alistair was found something in the pile of darkspawn's remains. "This is…Cailan's."

Everything that touched by darkspawn would be destroyed. Even the golden greaves was ruined, dragon emblem still was shining. Issara remembered it belong to the lost king.

No need to use her gift, the exotic Warden knew how her knight felt. She touched his throbbing arm in sympathy. "If his greaves are here, the rest must be somewhere nearby, so as his body. We ought to find all of them."

The bastard prince just nodded. His eyes were so gloomy, which hurt her heart so badly. In fact, she realized about their relationship. It's more than the need between man and woman, closer than friendship. They're bound in some mysterious way. Both of them were able to know if each other had the bad feeling and had the ability to lift it up. However, she was too afraid to say she was in love with this man.

Issara was omniscient person. She had known many things, but when it comes to affair, she knows nothing.

…

The second part of royal armor was found in Hurlock General's corpse after it has been slain. But that doesn't make any of them feel better.

Not far from the place that once was mage's camp, Issara was found a golden key under the pile of rocks. With her gift, she saw Eric was burying it with his bare hands. He was crying in fear before ran away from the battlefield. So bad, he just fled from one death to another. Her people have proverb: the coward die alone. It doesn't wrong at all.

The king's tent was no more, but the damaged chest still remained. Covered in dust and scratch, the seal was still in order, royal documents inside was saved and readable.

"If I was Loghain, I'll want to revive Cailan to kill him myself." Issara handed the documents to Alistair after read it.

"This is… from Empress Celene of Orlais. She and Cailan have connection. From this letter, she will send the Grey Wardens from Orlais to help us fight the Blight…"

"Not anymore," With anger, Millar kicked the dead darkspawn that was lying nearby. "Thank to Loghain."

Anyway, there're more things inside the chest. Issara sensed something intent from the long sword that enfolded with high quality silk. When she touched it, she was found it content part of spirit. The old owner was still related with it even his physical body was no more.

This piece doesn't strong enough to form its figure. However, the remained emotions were clear. Issara unfolded the fabric and turned to her knight. On one knee, she handed him the sword.

"This once belonged to King Maric Theirin. You're only one who had the right to carry and use it."

Shocked, the bastard prince exclaimed in dismay. "Issara, I thought you will keep your word!"

"This is more than you able to deny!" She raised her voice. "It's in your blood, your fate. Accept in who you are and use it to destine your future. You don't have to be king, Alistair. Just be a man who fights for yourself and the one you love. I ask for no more."

She never asked him for anything, he knew it full well. But this one… he didn't sure if he deserves to wield Maric's sword. That man never had been father to him. How could he receive anything of that man? However, when he looked into Issara's eyes, he knew something. He wanted to be better man, to be someone who good enough to make the woman he love proud in him.

Hazelnut brown eyes twinkled with hope when he took the royal blade. Alistair might don't know it, but this sword had more meaning. Something beyond words, but he would understand it in someday. Among the coldness and lifeless of god forsaken place, the sunlight shined so bright. Before Issara was the man who would become the great king, she knew it, and she knew Lillian knew it too.

Too bad, she would never see that day.

"Can we move now?" Morrigan ruined the moment.

As always, Alistair was displeased. The leader rolled her eyes and stopped them from make another argument.

"Let's move. We ought to finish our business before nightfall. Ostagar isn't safe for camping."

"What else we have to do?" Sten asked. He disagreed about this quest since the beginning and now he thought Issara just waste the time for nothing.

"We still have to find the king's armor and his body. And…if that could be possible, we want to find the bodies of our comrades. I want to…give them proper funeral." She smiled though her voice cracked.

The qunari never forgot what she told him a long time ago. So he nodded in understanding.

"They must still in the battlefield." The exotic Warden leaded her companion through the arch to the long stone bridge that was still in shape even some part was destroyed in between the battle. "I'd known the way. It's just beyond this bridge and… Oh my,"

It's more than two months since Issara's first step in Ostagar, but she still remembered how she felt when she was admiring this ruin fortress. The vista of Korcari Wilds from this bridge was breathtaking and a statue in the middle of the bridge also grand. She felt dismay when she saw it was destroyed by darkspawn's catapult just before she reached the tower in that horrible night.

Now, on the place that once the statue was, there're the wooden pikes with rotten body. The cold preserved most of the flesh thus they were able to recognize that body once was. Everyone saw only the remains of human male, but the Psychometrer could see more. She saw his broken spirit was crying for help with scariest sound she ever heard.

"This is…Cailan." Wynne purred. "They display him as their trophy."

With crack voice, Millar said. "Let's cut him down."

None of them was able to speak. Sten and Alistair tried to move the pike with Lynx and Zevran's help. Issara was going to assist them while familiar feeling crept beneath her skin.

The corpses those laid in disarray of the bridge slowly rose up. The party hurried drawn their weapons. Among little chaos, Issara saw a necromancer was casting the spell so she shot it with her crossbow.

One of rotten zombies was in her way, cause the bolt to change its way. The missile missed the Emissary's head just a few centimeters. It stopped casting the spell and ran away, left the living dead it was raised to fight with the Grey Wardens.

"Sud," Issara cursed in her mother's language. That darkspawn really got to her nerve. If she didn't have to fight the undead, she will follow to kill it. "Take down the archer and emissaries first." The leader commanded.

There're more darkspawns from both way of the bridge. So the Grey Wardens divided into two groups, facing each side of enemies. Anyone that survived the rogue's arrow or the witch's spell long enough to face the party in close range would be cut down by swords and daggers.

Knew her blades barely did any harm to the zombies, Issara turned to tiger, destroyed the walking corpses with powerful force of royal beast. Not for long, all of enemies died or was thrown off the bridge. After the dust of fighting gone, they have found another piece of Cailan's armors from one of Hurlock General. The breastplate was still in shape, its bright material reminded her of the old owner.

He wasn't bad person, just too ignorant. In the cruel world, the person like this always was the puppet or destroyed. He was killed in the young age, but Issara wouldn't let his sacrifice waste.

The necromancer showed its face from behind the sacks of sand, and cast the curse on the exotic Warden. But she just swept it away with iron rose in her hand. The Katana was glowing with extraordinary power.

Knew that it was going to be doom, the darkspawn sprinted to the tower of Ishal. Issara followed, but suddenly stopped just before reach the metal door.

On the dirt path, the ghost of Duncan was waiting for her.

"_Be careful, this is a trap." _The lost Warden warned then disappeared.

"Thank you." She replied. His warning brought her wits back from the mist of rage.

The exotic was calmed herself down while waiting for her companion. When they came, she explained her plan.

Metal door was kicked open and the fireball launched to the entrance in the same second. Issara rolled pass under the trajectory, stopped herself by braced one foot on the wall. In her hands was combat crossbow that fired its bolt as fast as the owner's feet steady on the stone.

The missile thrust into necromancer's shoulder, just a few centimeters from its neck. Even though it got terrible wound, frightened monster still able to ran for its life which made Issara angrier.

The Genlock, Hurlock Grunts and Ogre stood in their way. But all they could do was slow the Grey Wardens down. Issara froze the Ogre with ice spell. The huge monster couldn't move while the exotic Warden ran to the wall nearby before jumped to it with iron rose in her hands. Gravity helped the fire enchanted blade cut through frozen flesh, almost split the Ogre by half.

Gracefully, Issara rose from the kneel position. Her rose was glowing blue even after she sheathed it.

However, the leader found the old mage's eyes. And then she raised her hand, stopped Wynne from add any smart comment. "Whoa, hold your horses Ms. Wynne! I can explain everything."

"Then you shall speak quickly. Where in the Maker's name you had learned to do that?" Grey haired mage demanded angrily.

"But I already told you since two days ago." Sly pupil retorted.

That certainly not anything she expected to hear. "What? When did you tell me? I can't remember."

"Well, you told me to tell you if I want to learn anything beyond the circle's knowledge. So, when the lady of the forest and Zathrian came to my dream and offered to teach me to use another kind of magic, I went to your dream to ask for your permission. Don't tell me you forget that."

"I thought it was a dream." There's the realization in her face. "You fooled me again…you little…" Wynne pinched those pink cheeks as punishment. "You must explain it to me, every detail."

"Not now," Issara refused. Just because she respect the old mage, doesn't mean she will let Wynne boss her around. "We have quest to finish."

No one argue, so they continued their chasing game until they was found a large hole on the floor.

"I remember," Issara purred while dropped a firework ball into the dark hole. It landed on the stone floor that was deep down away from their level. "That night, I saw this hole and wondered: who made it and where it leads? Well, we're going to found it but I don't feel good at all."

"Are you sure you going to…? I don't see any way to go down." Alistair asked.

"I have rope. We just have to bind it with something… Do any of you know how to rappelling?"

There's only the silence in the air.

"That's mean 'no', I take it. Well, I never rappel down the natural cliff anyway. Let's hope I can make it to the bottom."

Issara bound the long rope with a cart that full with many sacks of grain. It didn't move when she dragged it to make sure it was able to handle her weight. However, she didn't think this thing able to endure Sten's weight.

"Alright, I think we have to divide. I, Alistair, Millar, Lynx and Morrigan will climb down and find another entrance. The rest stay here, but you should prepare for anything. If we need help, I'll call you."

…

It was a bit inconvenient, but they managed to land safety at last. After countered with giant spiders and darkspawns, the group was found anther entrance of tunnel. The long path leaded to Battlefield, just like Issara assumed.

"Now we know how they overrun the tower." She told Alistair.

He fell silent for awhile. "You remember what I said that night?"

In tragic night, when the soldier told them that tower of Ishal was overrun by darkspawn, Alistair asked them about how that happen but got no answer. Now, he got it.

"Yep, I also remember you owe me Remigold dance." Grinning devilishly, "I will find you a pretty dress."

"Oh Maker… I stick with wicked woman." The ex-templar purred and snapped her earlobe.

Issara jumped. Her cheeks were redder than when Wynne pinched it. Anyway, Morrigan ruined the moment, again.

"Do not we suppose to looking for that necromancer? 'Tis him, I think."

She was right. Amidst the white abandon battlefield, the short taint mage was casting something. This time Issara didn't give it any chance to run. She shot it with pistol and stepped closer to shot again at its head.

"That taught me to not make you mad." Again, the annoying templar banter his freak playfully.

The exotic Warden turned back to smack him, but stopped in her track. Her eyes went wide as if they were going to flee from their place.

"What?" Her companion asked in unison.

"The… Ogre," That's all she could speak.

They followed her index finger. Suddenly, they have the same gesture while saw a dead Ogre was standing up. There're two blades were sticking on its chest but didn't give any problem to the monster.

"I hate this part." Issara cursed.

After that was chaos. The ice spell doesn't work on the undead and the gunfire didn't seem useful against lifeless creature. The ogre was still moving even Issara shot its head and limbs. The ex-templar and rogues tried to attack it from the close range. Too bad, three of them were rammed to else direction.

The dead Ogre turned to two mages.

"Morrigan, use **Crushing Prison**," The leader commanded.

"But it won't…" The witch protested but suddenly understood.

Morrigan released her spell almost in the same time Issara released stonefist spell. The combination spell shattered the monster's limbs but it was not surrender. Even in pathetic condition, the taint creature tried to stand up. So, the exotic Warden released it from this misery by cut its head off. It wriggled for awhile before stopped forever.

"We work well together." Issara shook the witch's hand.

"I cannot agree more." Morrigan shook back.

The other companions didn't get serious wound, some healing magic could help them recover in no time. Then they ransacked the battlefield to find the lost Grey Warden's bodies. Too bad, all corpses in snow were eaten to the bone. Some of them were totally burned or broken, hardly to recognize. At last, the Grey Wardens set makeshift pyre to burn the lost comrades together.

Anyway, Issara had found Duncan's sword and dagger in undead Ogre's remains. She gave sword to Alistair and dagger to Millar. Both of them received the gift thankfully.

"I always want to have something of him. Thank you, Issara." The ex-templar said heartily. They're among the audiences but Alistair didn't care. He held and gave her a kiss that could melt the snow.

Morrigan grunted in disgust while the other tried to pretend they didn't see anything. However, the two had to depart before they lost little self-control they had.

"Well, I did nothing." Like a school girl, she felt her hands stay in the wrong place. The exotic Warden waved them idly. "Um, let's go back to our friends. We had left for an hour or so now, they might concern and try to come to look after us. I'm not sure if the rope could handle Sten's weight. Thing must be bad if he try to rappel down the hole."

The companion imagined then chuckled. Image of stoic qunari falling down the hole was priceless. Anyway, if the rope was torn by any cause, it wouldn't be funny. So, they went back to the rest of company.

…

No matter how the movies tried to make you believe, but the truth is human's body doesn't burn to ashes so easily. Hour and hour had passed, the sun went to behind the horizon but Cailan's body still was in burning process. The party had no choice but set the camp in the ruin city.

Safety first is Issara's motto. So she set the watch carefully to make sure they would pass the night in one piece. Everyone agreed with her, especially Zevran who seemed eager to share the shift with Lynx.

After set up the watch, Issara saw Morrigan fidget, almost didn't like normally self. Then the leader went to the witch's personal tent. There, the exotic Warden was found the witch reading Flemeth's grimoire with knitted brows. She seemed disturb and a bit dismay.

"Hey," Issara asked in concern. "What's wrong, Morrigan?"

She jumped. This wasn't normal. Prideful Morrigan had never jumpy like a doe.

Anyhow, Issara knew her friend wasn't spilt it out. "Look, you know you could tell me anything. If you have any problem…"

"Why have you poked your nose into everyone's business?" The witch cut her off. "I understand if you wanted to come back here for documents and other item. But why we have to give that dead king proper funeral which made us stuck in this place for day? Could we just cut him down and leave him for the wolves?"

"Well, feeding the wolves must be good karma." The Warden sighed. "I'd known the country that did the funeral by give the dead bodies to the vultures, but that not my point. Alright, I knew you don't like it when I… did something you don't like. But you have to understand me. I didn't do that just because he was a king. I did it because of his bravery; he risked his life and lost it for many people. He deserves the last honor we able to grant."

Still, Morrigan wasn't satisfied by that answer. "It is not just this one. You always risk your life to save people. Why did you have to do that?"

_Alright, I see what's coming._ Issara thought. She took a deep breath then dumped herself to legs-cross position. "Before we go, you must understand something. I, myself, am not the heroin or saint. Everything I've done, I had my own reason. To be honest, some reason is a bit…selfish."

"Selfish… Someone like you..? I wonder if you understand the concept of selfishness."

"I afraid we look this world from different perspective." Still smiled broadly, the exotic Warden answered. "I help people because I felt bad every time I saw them suffer. You can say I help them for my pleasure. That must be some kind of selfish, right?"

The witch stared at her like someone staring at the insane person. "I cannot believe it. You are crazier than I ever thought." Anyway, she sighed in surrender. "If this world had more selfish people like you, I might like it more."

"If you want to have someone smile to you, you have to smile first. If you want love, you have to give love. My father taught me that."

Morrigan avoided that smile. "I do not want love. 'Twill weakens me."

"The coin had two sides. You think love is foolish, but still there's another side of love. And I believe you will agree with me someday."

"All you said was nonsense. You waste too much of your time with that fool." If Issara didn't imagine it, she thought her friend was going to break. Morrigan spoke with unusual voice and expression. "Love is weakness. Only power is important. 'Twas I learned from Flemeth."

"One quote from Kalama sutra1:Don't believe only because your teacher told you." The exotic Warden warned.

Issara cast the sermon, but the witch didn't believe it. "If you are done talking, I want to take some rest before my shift." She drove the leader off her tent.

"I'm sorry. But I'm not done with you yet." The battle mage refused. "Since I'm here, I want you to tell me what in your mind."

Took by surprise, younger woman lost her guard. "I…did you scan me?"

"Your gesture is obvious. Even Sandal could say you're disturbing." That was overstatement. Issara wondered if that boy ever spoke the full sentence or any word longer than 'enchantment'.

"Disturbing… yes, you can use that word but it is more than that. I am angry, furious and… I need your help."

No matter what was her problem, it must be vital. Morrigan never asked for help from anyone. "What's happen?"

"Do you remember this grimoire?"

Black journal was float to the Warden. "This is Flemeth's grimoire."

"Yes, I studied it. Do you want to know what I had found?"

Issara made a face. "If you must,"

Lost all of her self-control, the witch burst out. "I now know how Flemeth prolongs her life so unnaturally."

"Let me guess, she is a vampire." Without any thought, the exotic Warden said playfully.

"Oh, if only 'twere so..." Morrigan's voice trailed off. "Whatever sparks of the demon in her keeps her from dying, but her body still grows old. When her body no longer useful, she will have a daughter. Flemeth raised them, trained them and possessed their bodies. And I am going to be her next host!"

Shocked, Issara lost her ability to make joke for awhile. "Are you sure?"

"'Tis what I had learned from the grimoire. You are welcome to read it yourself if you want."

It sounded like a huge problem. Migraine started to threaten her brain again. "Well, in case you're right: what are you intend to do now?"

"I will not sit about like some empty sack waiting to be filled." _Yeah, here come the problems_. Issara felt her right brow twitched. "Flemeth must die, and I need your help to do it."

"But…what if it's just misunderstanding? Don't get me wrong. I always want to help but… she is your mother. Maybe you ought to try to reason with her first." True be told, Issara never like that nutty old bat. But killing her because of uncertain reason was sound ridiculous.

"She may old, but Flemeth is not lovely nanny. She will not hesitate to take my body if I go to her. And I cannot be there when she die either. 'Tis why I need your help."

Something told her this quest wouldn't be easy. "Well, you're my friend. I can't abandon you. Anyway, I need to prepare myself for that. You'd known your mother isn't ordinary old woman, right?"

Morrigan's face was flooded with smile of relief. "You have my thanks."

"Hey, I'm your friend. You know you could rely on me." Issara patted that petite shoulder firmly.

Those touches made the witch twitched. The Warden felt it but didn't say anything. She would wait until Morrigan wanted to talk it out. Even though thing would be easier if she just used her gift on the apostate, she wouldn't do such thing to her friends. Delved into your friend's secret without their permission would only destroy the friendship.

* * *

1 This Sutra the Buddha addressed concerns of people of Kalama (the small town in ancient India) who are told to accept teachings without proof. To put it easily, it's the suggestion about believing or in another word: critical thinking. Please don't confuse between this Kalama sutra and Kama sutra.


	28. Crazy little thing called love

The day I wrote this chapter, Thailand had a big festival called: Loi Krathong. We'll float the Krathong (small floating thing that usually make to look alike lotus) into the river. Anyway, there're also the fireworks in this festival. I could see those glowing flowers from my window. Its voice and burst gave me some idea.

* * *

**Crazy little thing called love.**

* * *

Too much talking never did any good. She should know that. If she just attack Flemeth since they've met, thing won't be like this. She was so stupid to try to reason with the shape-shifter.

Exhausted, hurt and totally powerless, Issara looked around in dismay. Alistair, Wynne, Sten and Lynx were lying around her in disarrange. They're wounded, probably dead… no, they're still alive. Even though she might die this day, they must alive.

_Get up, you idiot._ Issara commanded herself. _You're their hope, just get up and kill that witch!_

Her legs slowly obeyed as she tried to support herself with iron rose. This blade was created from fantastic material and enchanted with mystical magic of the spirit, which customized for only her to use. It would respond to her will as if it's part of her. The blade was glowing bright blue then faded when it fell down from the owner's hands.

Unable to see, but she still felt the grip around her neck. The invisible hand griped her tight enough to disarm, but didn't suffocate her. It lifted her high to face with ghostly figure that was smiling with satisfactoriness.

"I will thank that girl next time I meet her." Flemeth... or something that once was called by that name said as she admired the Exotic Warden. "She sent you to me. Oh, you are more powerful than the first time we met. More suitable…"

"Suitable for what?" No more resistant, Issara let her hands and legs fell down. Her voice was rough and quiet.

That figure stepped closer. The Warden could see a witch in different appearance. Before her wasn't an old apostate with humble attire and poor looking. With her good eye, Issara saw a white haired woman in black robe, a lot younger and more powerful. Flemeth just banter the ignorant Wardens when she turned to black dragon. Now she showed her true self to in front of Exotic Warden's eyes. Surely, this creature had some purpose for this exhibition.

However, it's not look like the witch concern about her prisoner. She ignored Issara's question and kept talking to herself. "When she came to me, told me about you. I thought it was stupid plan. But now I can see I was wrong. You are useful, but in which way? Perhaps I shall take your body and let your friends stop the Blight, or shall I…"

"Go fuck yourself," Issara growled as she shot the witch with pistol.

The bullet exploded. Its force cause Flemeth to stumbled backward. Sadly, even with a large burning wound on her face, the old woman still alive.

"Ah, I see why that girl needs your help. You are not smarter or more powerful than her, but you never give up. So stubborn and annoying," Sneered wider, the wicked witch increased the pressure around the Warden's neck until she couldn't breathe freely, her hand lost the energy to hold the pistol. "Anyway, you make me curious. Why have you try so hard to save the other? If you did not make the deal with that Demon and let your sister die, you will live peacefully in your motherland and probably got the man you love back. Why try to save the woman who stole him from you? I do not understand."

"You… don't know what love is, right?" Suffocated but still tried to keep conscious, Issara calmed her breath down.

"So, you did it because insanity?"

Unable to stop herself, the exotic Warden laughed out loud, which made Flemeth frowned. "I love this gag. Whatever, you're probably right. Loves have no reason, unpredictable and unfathomed. But you know, love is one of the reasons why this world… my world keep spinning. Mother won't feed or protect her children with her life if she doesn't love them. The country won't be in peace if their people hate each other. And… whoa, I'm bubbling again."

"You look so cheerful for someone who is going to die." This girl was amazed her more and more.

"What do you expected me to do, kneel before you and beg for your mercy? Nah, I'm not that pathetic, and we all know you have no mercy after all."

It had been a long time since someone made her laugh. Flemeth was found herself like this creature, though she had known what was behind that charm. "You are really something, girl. It almost makes me feel bad for intend to kill you."

As always, her perkiness controlled her mouth. Issara retorted. "What a relief… Anyway, just in case if you still care to listen: I love my sis. She is only reason for me to live after I lost most of my family."

"Not anymore, I think." The old witch sneered knowingly. Icy glare swooped to the ex-templar who was trying to move even he got mortally wounds.

"Leave him alone." Issara growled. "This is about you and me."

"See, you lost your intelligent because of that fool. Love weakens you, pitiful."

Instead of angry, the exotic Warden chuckled. "Morrigan told me that just yesterday. You two are really alike."

Somehow, those words gave Flemeth bad mood. "Talking with you is fun, I have to admit. Too bad, I have so many businesses to attend to, thus I have no time for your speech. Let's make it quick, shall we?"

No more word play, Issara bought her time for regain mana enough to turn to a dormouse. In a flash, the rodent slipped off the magical hand. When legs touched the ground, she turned to human and ran as fast as she able with painful body.

"Four, three…"

Confused, the witch stood still until a grenade did its job. Gunpowder and his friends did complete the detonation process from inside black robe within five seconds after its owner pulled the safety pin then thrust it to that place. The blast had damaged most of Flemeth's body. So bad, the woman of many years still didn't die.

Lying on the ground with half burning flesh, the witch chocked when Issara came and pointed her head with pistol. "Why… why have you never given up?"

"If I give up, I'll lose. But if I keep trying, I'll have chance to win." Then, she pulled the trigger until the gun run out of bullet.

Exhausted, Issara fell beside her latest mark. She wanted to sleep and never wake up, but another side of her mind didn't let her. With all energy she had, the exotic Warden crawled to Wynne and healed her.

The spirit healer awoke in no time. She almost shock to see half-conscious Warden. "Issara… you got badly hurt!"

But the young woman refused her help. "No, save the other first."

Unable to speak, Wynne did as she asked while the leader felt the darkness was slowly engulf her all.

…

The full moon was shining on the deep-violet sky. When the glowing line soared high then bloomed to golden flowers, the night just was brighter with joy and happiness. People in the Loi Krathong Festival exclaimed in impress of amazing show.

On the deck of the building nearby, two people were watching. A woman was taking the fireworks photo, while a man drank beer nervously.

"Do you have boyfriend, Issara?"

She turned to him in surprise. "Excuse me?"

"I… you're good-looking girl. So I wonder…"

"Me..?" Issara pointed at herself. "Well, I'm married with my work."

The man moaned. "Oh, come on, I'm serious."

Emptied beer cans were reflecting the flash from artificial flowers. The dim light couldn't reveal his expression, but the inventor knew this was going to be problem. This man was her closer friend though he acted strangely recently. He never drank so must booze like this before. There's must be something behind his unusual habit.

"We learned in the same class since we still in university. You've known me for seven years, you smartass. Have you ever seen me with any man or woman?" No longer had mood to take more photos, Issara packed her digital camera in rucksack. Something told her to leave this place as soon as she able.

With clumsy hands, the man tried to catch her wrist. "I'm sorry, Issara. I just want to make sure if you're…"

"Call me when you sober. I don't want to talk with a drunken man." It's so easy to get off him. However, she was completely stiff when he confessed.

"I love you, Issara. I love you for so long. Have you ever felt the same way about me?"

For an hour or so, there's no other sound but the blasting fireworks. None of them dared to say anything.

Till she shook her head, "You're drunk."

"Maybe I'm drunk but what I said is true. I love you. Do you hear me?"

No answer, Issara began to freak out. She grabbed her things and ran to the dark, no matter how he called her.

…

"Issara, wake up. Please, Maker…" Endearing voice begged her.

Slowly, so slowly, her heavy eyelids opened to show her the beautiful face of Alistair. With utterly relief, he peppered the kiss on her face again and again even they're surrounded by the companions.

"Shush… don't cry, I'm not dead yet." She whispered with small smile. "You can't get rid of me that easily."

"You made me scare." The knight cried and held her tighter. This woman was his reason to fight. He had no idea about what will happen if he lost her.

Around them, their companions sighed in relief. Even Sten felt concern of his leader. This one was so petite but she always did incredible things.

Anyway, Wynne still remembered their business. "We should go back to the camp. I can heal her better when we're there."

"Before that, I need to find something…" Issara tried to stand up but Alistair stopped her.

"No-no-no, you won't move any muscle until you're fully recovery."

"Besides, I'm already ransacked the hut for you." Lynx handed her a black book. "I'd found this book and something look like a rag."

"Let's me guess. It's Morrigan's robe."

"You didn't scan me, did you?" The Dalish asked with fake innocent smile.

It's still damn hurt to move, but she couldn't stop laughing. "Ok, I take that no one like my sorceress. I can't blame any of you for that but at least please don't make it too obvious. Morrigan isn't so bad."

"Not everyone with share you ultimate optimism, dear one." After saw her seemed better, Alistair felt too happy to mind his tongue.

Issara blinked. "Say it again,"

Bashfully, he pretended to wasn't hear her request. He turned his back to hide his pink cheeks. "Let's go back to the camp. Come, ride my back, milady. Your stallion is under your command."

Pouting, the exotic Warden followed his suggestion willingly only because she had no stamina or mana to fight. Anyway, when she on his back with her arms around his neck, she whispered into his ear seductively. "Next time I ride you, I prefer another position. And most of all, you ought to… get rid of your cloth first."

_This is the bluff!_ He told himself. Sadly, his virgin member couldn't resist her irresistible charm. His trousers were tightening into uneasy status while Issara nipped his earlobe sultry.

Maker helped him! This woman was going to be the death of him soon.

…

If she didn't imagine it, she thought she saw Morrigan cried.

The witch was waiting for them when the party arrived. She exclaimed something then ran to Issara who was on Alistair's back before they stepped on the camp's area. In half-conscious condition, the Exotic Warden barely able to make any conversation, so she just smiled.

Instead of friendly greeting, Morrigan hissed which made Issara gasped in surprise. "Why are you smiling? Don't you know how badly injured you are?"

"My bad, I think." The Psychometrer bantered. She knew too well that the sorceress was concerning but her pride stopped her from showing true emotion. Besides, Morrigan was still unsure about opening her heart to the other. Seem so strong but fragile inside, she feared to love because she didn't want to face the pain of losing the one she loved.

She understood it too well…

"Hey, I knew how wicked you're, but Issara just almost die for save your neck. Shouldn't you just say her thank or at least down you voice?"

That's him: her knight in shining armor. Well, it's not exactly true because his second-hands armor already lost its glory day, but the truth that he was her knight would never change.

It's almost look like Morrigan wanted to turn Alistair to a toad. She pouted in rage upon a man she preferred to call 'fool'. Anything could happen if he didn't carry the lovely Grey Warden on his rear. "Do you dare…?"

"Oh, please…" The leader moaned wearying. "I was crushed, burned, suffocated and other things. Don't I deserve a day of peace?"

As best as she remembered, the prideful sorceress had never able to disobey the Exotic Warden. So she just followed that request. "'Tis only because Issara say so."

The templar opened his mouth, but Issara hurried cover it with her hands. "Thank. Oh, Flemeth's Real Grimoire is in my pack. If you want…"

Morrigan rolled her eyes. "Take care of yourself first! We will talk again when you are sane."

Issara still chuckled when her horse brought her to her tent. Although he was laid her down gently, she knew he was angry. Willing to calm him down, she placed her hand on his. "Morrigan is just like that. If you keep minding her attitude, your head might explode because too much angry someday."

"I… it's not Morrigan. I just… heard what Flemeth asked you. About your sister and…" Hesitated, Alistair didn't sure if he had any right to know.

The wound already healed, but still unforgettable. She couldn't look in his eyes. "I'm sorry for never told you. Past is past, think about it just wasting my time so I trying to forget it."

"I understand. Sorry for asking, I have no right…"

He never finished the sentence because Issara pulled him close for kiss. "I don't lie when I say you're the first man I ever had trust… if we don't count my grandpas and dad. That man… he was my friend for very long time. He might try to tame me, but I never trust him. So I refused when he wanted to…"

"That son of the…" If that man was here in that moment, Alistair might kill him.

"No, it's not like that." Knew he care, she smiled as she fondled his cheeks with her hands. "You got my first kiss, you know? He never even touched my hands. Well, in my culture, woman had to behave herself. I never let him did anything… funny, and he knew what will happen if he try."

"Behave… no offend my dear, but you don't look… you always arousing… I mean; exciting me."

Blood rushing to her cheeks, "It's your fault. You're only one to blamed because of your queerly charm. I would never do that to any man if I'm not… Let's go back to our subject."

"No, I like this subject. What is you're going to say?" the ex-templar wouldn't let her get away again. Strong arms bound that soft and warm body to his, intended to keep her like this as long as possible. "That I'm so sexy, irresistible or…"

"Idiot…" She snapped. "You're an endearing idiot."

"Ouch, you hurt my manliness." He nipped her ear playfully. Glad to see her flush bashfully. His little freak was so endearing, her ex-friend might be stupid to leave her.

Alistair didn't know he was thinking too loud until Issara said. "He didn't… in fact, we never had been… we're good friends until he confessed his feeling. But you knew me, I just freak out like when you gave me a rose. In the next morning, I was found him on my sister's bed. Then, everything had ended before it starts."

He lost his voice somewhere between the curse. "That son of the bitch..!"

"He said he was drunk. Whatever, it isn't important anymore. Despite some problem, they do love each other and was going to marry…"

"But it never happens."

Talking about it like crushing down the old scar, it wasn't bled but still hurt. She batted her lids rapidly to prevent the tear. "My father died just recently. So, the wedding had been delay. But the accident had changed everything… just like you already know."

"Forget me for saying but… I'd known you, Issara. You're rarely to do anything only because of your sentiment. There's another reason that made you trying so hard to save you sister, right?"

Damn straight, his words hit the bottom of her heart. The stubborn tear finally was found its way to seep out her eyes. Throbbing in his arms, all of her wall was torn apart. She knew she was bound to him, there's no point to deny it. If only he wouldn't hate her after learn her truth. "I almost kill her… in the car, we have the argument. It's just a moment of furious and… I lost my mind. Next thing I knew was she was crushed with the trailer car. I've done terrible thing, are you going to hate me?"

"Not in my life," Alistair promised with kiss.

By those words, the scar didn't hurt anymore. Issara returned the kiss, felt like he was banishing the pain away. When she able to speak again, she gave him the last piece of her mind. "I love you, Ali. I love you as much as a woman will able to love a man. But I can't… you know what I mean. So, you don't have to love me back. Just… stay with me, as long as we're able. And when I gone… please don't forget me."

For all of his life, he never had been wanted. Now, only woman he ever had loved just declared her love for him. Alistair was ready to give her everything even his life. "I love you too, Issara. And it will be like that, no matter what happen."

"Call me Ice." She smiled with tear of happiness. "It's my nickname. But no one but my mother calls me with this name. I really don't know why."

"Perhaps it's because you don't look cold. Why your mother called you with that name?"

"It was…well, the trick, sort of. My mother though I'll stop being the hot-head if everyone calls me Ice. It's ridiculous, I knew." In ease, Issara rested her body on her knight's. Thrown all caution to the wind for just one time as Alistair kept adore her with polite kiss.

"I'm glad it's not work." So softly, he whispered. "You're energetic, liveliness. I love all of that."

Just simple words, but touched her heart so deeply. She kissed him thoughtfully and yet so sweet. Never before felt so feminine, being loved like now and here.

In the old poem, the poet say woman and man were like oil and fire. The closeness would ignite the hottest bonfire that burned every thought, reason and logic to ashes. The lovers was lost in sweet passionate cuddle, totally forgot the world outside.

Thank the goodness that they're in full armor. Issara's logic was back when she felt cold metal of Alistair gantlets touched her breasts through her undershirt. "A…Ali, stop, we shouldn't…"

His eyes were dark with desire. It took some time for him to regain his self-control. However, his expression looked terrible, almost made she felt guilty for stop him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't think…"

Forced herself to smile, Issara tried to sooth him. "As did I. You aren't only one who… wants it. But I can't give you anything that isn't mine. Lillian is… I mean this body, is a virgin. I can't…"

Never mind his tongue, Alistair asked her before he could think. "How could you know that?" The last time he met that woman, she didn't look like the virgin.

That answer attached with red cheeks. "In several months within this body, I had plenty of time for some…um… exploration."

"Don't tell me you did…" imagination of Issara touching herself only made thing worse. In this rate, his cock was going to drill through his armor.

"I… I just wanted to make sure that you and her never… Garr! Just forget that, alright?" Her head was so hot like it's going to explode. She never felt embarrass like this before.

So bad, the cheeky knight love to banter her mercilessly. "Does that mean you don't like the idea of me being with another woman, especially Lillian?"

No point to protest, so she just nodded.

As if it was her queue, Wynne opened the canvas just before Alistair kissed Issara again. The lovers had to separate, both of them avoided the old mage's eyes because of embarrassment and guilty.

"Gentleman," Wynne cleared her throat. "I have to check on our Lady. Could you go outside?"

"Anything for my second favorite mage," Unpleasant, but he knew the patient needed rest. Most of all, he wasn't trust himself to keep his hands off her if they're alone. Regardless his feeling, the ex-templar did as the old mage requested.

"It's alright." Issara chuckled at his expression. "Wynne won't eat me. You can leave us alone."

"Ha, don't trust her so easily. This mage is the bad person. Don't you remember how cruel she banter me yesterday?"

Sighed, the Exotic Warden hit him with pillow. "Get out!"

The laughing knight left eventually. Too bad, Issara had to face another suspicious look of Wynne. The old mage was grinning ear to ear like the Cheshire Cat.

"Why's that look? There's something on my face?"

Still grinning, Wynne placed her hand on Issara's shoulder to apply the healing magic. "You're quite taken with each other, aren't you?"

"Oh," The younger woman exclaimed. This question was taken her by surprise. "We're… yes, you could say that."

"I apologize, my dear. But I overheard your recently conversations. Don't panic, I'm not going to berate you. Many years ago, I once was a maiden with dream of true love. I understand what were you two feeling. You shouldn't…"

"I knew, Wynne." Issara cut her off. The healing couldn't make her feel better.

"No, I don't mean that." Smiled softly, the mage tried to sooth her apprentice. This young woman was a good person, but her temper always too sensitive. "In fact, I fear for you both because this is can't be possible. If you lost to the temptation and…be together, thing will goes worse."

"If I seal the deal, it will be harder for me to finish the quest and gone. I knew it fucking well. That's why I refused him, cruelly, I might add." Issara sighed in dismay. She still didn't sure if she had done the right thing.

With her well-manner, the Exotic Warden was hardly to curse in front of the elder. If she expletive, it was mean she was utterly upset. So Wynne pulled her apprentice for a hug. "You had done the right thing, Issara. None of you could change whatever had happen, but at least you can stop yourself from go farther. It would be better for you though."

"I hope so." She tried to calm down. "I never want to hurt Alistair, both physical and mental. If keeping him safe mean I had to subdue my desire, so be it."

Anyway, she didn't sure about it. Love is crazy thing. Was her mind strong enough to keep their distance?


	29. Staying alive

First, I'm grateful for reviews, favorite and alert. You guy really made my day. /me dance

Second, I want to explain something. /me back to serious mode

The Buddhists believes in Karma. To explain it in easy way; the concept of Karma is about action and consequence. Anything you have done will come back to you and people around you, one way or another. So, I thought some face from the past have to show up in order of harden our exotic Warden.

Issara's good Karma doesn't just reward her, but also changed the story's line. This story becomes something different from the original game more than I expected. However, I'll try to keep the ending as the same. I mean: I wroth the ending in my head which absolutely not the same ending in the game. And I'll try to not change it… too much.

* * *

Stayin' alive

* * *

Even with Issara's decrease-distance spell, the Grey Warden's party had to walk for almost five days to found the nearest human's village that name Honnleath. At first, the leader had no interest to associate with any human's society unless it's necessary. But when she used telescope spied the village and saw a gallows, she changed her mind.

"Alistair, Wynne, Lea and Rabbit, come with me. We are going to take some walk." Issara commanded. "For the rest, stay here and wait for my signal… well, I mean; go to that village if you see anything suspicious."

"Why go to that village if you know you will found the problem?" Sten asked. "And why we don't go together?"

The exotic Warden scratched her head. "Hum, how can I explain this? I'm suspecting if there's something bad happened there. I want to go to investigate but also don't want to attract any attention, so I want you to stay here until I know it save for you to show up. Don't get me wrong, for me, you all are my friends. Sadly, not every human in Thedas think like that. We ought to be careful."

Lynx seemed to appreciate her decision. "I agree. Meeting shem isn't my favorite activity."

"Wait a minute. Why am I supposed to be here? I am human too." Morrigan protested.

Issara glazed at the witch's ragged cloth. "Should I explain it?"

Groaned, the wild witch surrendered. "All right, I got it."

"Well, consider it done. Anyway, before we go, could I have a word with you Zev?" With too sweet smile, Issara asked the assassin nicely.

He was leering at the Dalish, so it took some time before he realized what the leader said. "Oh, this ought to be good. Go ahead, dear Warden."

But she pointed her hand to another direction. "In private, please,"

Something within her voice gave him a creep. However, Zevran followed her lead to the **Feddic**'s cart. There, Issara asked the merchant nicely for borrowed their cart for awhile. When they started the conversation behind the cart, the exotic Warden's expression turned to deadly serious.

"How is your feeling toward Lynx?"

Shocked, the assassin had no idea that sharpest-tongue woman he ever had known would be so blunt. He stunned for awhile before tried to deflect that question. "My, my… You don't jealous, do you?"

Issara narrowed her eyes.

Last time she made a face like that, she broke the bandit's neck. If he didn't want to share the same fate, he should cooperate quickly. "She is beautiful and, you know, wilds and quite dangerous. I always love challenge."

The Warden sighed. She never wanted to do this to her friend, but he gave her no choice. "I can take your sincere answer by force, you know?"

"How? Are you going to ravish me or something?"

This man reminded her of a young man who once tried to flirt with her. He stopped trying that and left her alone after she broke his jaws which made him stayed in the hospital for almost two months. "Don't you remember what I did with Lynx's bedroll when we investigated her camp? I could scan the memory from the object, animal or even people. In another words, I could read your mind."

"I… oh," Now he was serious. "I thought it's just a trick."

"Sorry for disappoint you, but that certainly not a trick. So, can you give me real answer now?"

The guy was so stubborn like a mule. He stepped away from her, breaking every contact. "I have nothing to tell you, dear Warden."

"Alright," She sighed. Suddenly, she punched the assassin. It's a real punch, which broke his nose completely. When Zevran stared at her in surprise, she pointed his face and pronounced firmly. "Listen, I promised to Lanaya that I'll look after Lynx like she is my sis, which means she is under my protection now. If you flirt with her because you sincerely like her, I have no problem with that. _But_… if you ever break her heart, I'll cut your precious body's part and feed it to wild animal or anything that could bear it. Is that clear?"

"Wow, did you punch every men who tried to flirt with your sis? I wonder how she could found her fiancé."

"You're the second person I punched because of this reason. At any rate, the third might come around soon." She gave him her hand. "Let me see you nose."

The elf really didn't know how to react. The exotic Warden just punched him a minute ago, but now she offered him her help.

"They said siblings are like the limbs same as friends are. I never wanted to mad at you if that doesn't involve with someone I like as my sis. And just like I said, I have no any problem if you be honest with Lynx. Well, as long as you are a good guy, you still be my friend. Do you mind?"

Finally, Zevran chuckled. "You're ridiculous awesome woman, dear Warden, and I glad to follow you. However, I promise to not lure our beautiful Dalish to my tent if she doesn't want to."

"That is a wise decision. Now, let me heal you."

…

Like the villagers never aware about the Blight in the south, they were still continuing did everyday chores in peacefully village, unnoticed about the armed and armored visitors.

However, the Grey Wardens knew that was the illusion. When they explored the place by walking on the street, they meet a group of men whom wore banner of Teyrn Loghain were walking in the village like it were theirs.

To avoid attention, Issara pulled her companions hid behind a large stone statue that stood alone in village's center.

"We all know these men never do any good, thus must be something wrong around here. I want to investigate but if any of you disagree, you're free to speak you mind." The leader announced.

The three exchanged their glare, before Wynne talked for them. "We agree. I hate to leave this village under control of Loghain's men. Obviously, those poor people fear of them but can't do anything."

"Alright, now we have to gather information from…" Someone grabbed her shoulder. Issara spun around and cast her elbow. It stopped just a few centimeters from that person's ear.

"It's me! I'm Swiftrunner." That man cried frightened.

Remembered the scar on his face, Issara downed her elbow. "What are you doing here?"

Now in peasant's cloth, the ex-breast looked similar with ordinary human. "I found this village just two days ago. A kind villager gave me cloth and job in his farmhouse. However, I saw you walking into this village, so I came to ask if you need any help."

Anything you did will repay you someday. The Grey Warden was glad to found the unexpected help in unexpected place. "Could you tell me about those men? I wonder what they're doing here. They're…our opposite."

"I heard they're patrolling in this area to find 'the enemies of Ferelden'. They captured a man who came to this village yesterday because he is some Teyrn's man or something."

There's only two Teyrn in Ferelden. Surely they wouldn't capture Loghain's men, so this man must be…

"Where is that man?" Issara grabbed Swiftrunner's collar in excite.

"They will hang them at noon. He must be somewhere near the gallows."

The exotic Warden scanned the area. "How many of them are in this village? I saw twelve."

"Their commander always stays in the tavern with two guards." Swiftrunner reported. "All of them well arms and armors. If you want to beat them, you must be careful."

She was thinking when Alistair asked. "What do you intend to do?"

"That man must be Teyrn Cousland's man. Maybe he knew about Fergus. I can't let him die." Issara declared.

"But there're fifty of them. We must call for all of our company if we will help him."

Her brown eyes brighten. "Eureka! I knew what we shall do. First, we need some attraction, which also call our friends to here. Well, could I ask you a favor, Swiftrunner?"

He seemed confuse but answered firmly. "I owe you my life. You could ask me anything."

"Good," The Asian woman smiled ruthlessly. "Let's start with Zhuge Liang's1 favorite strategy. This is going to be _hot_."

…

Mercilessly, the prisoner was pushed to the gallows even he was wounded. The villagers glared at him in sympathy but no one dare to challenge the chancellor's men. They were standing and gossiping about what were going to happen in a few minutes later.

The leader of Loghain's men walked to the gallows. He was going to speak something while dark smoke spouted from one of the abandon house.

"Fire, fire!" someone shouted.

That's all. The village went to chaos. People ran for bucket of water or just to save their possessions. The captain soldiers stood still confusing until a bolt thrust into his eye. His men hurried draw their weapon even still didn't know where was that bolt came from. Two of full armed men fell under sharpen bolt before they found the crossbow woman on the roof of nearby house.

"I'm here, you assholes." Issara taunted.

An archer tried to shoot her, but Leliana stabbed him from the back. Other archers took down by an old mage's freezing spell and Mabari's fangs. One tried to attack Wynne but stopped and fell to his knee because of an arrow at his neck.

"How could you fight without me, my dear mage?" Zevran appeared from behind the brush, followed by the rest of the company.

"You all came so quickly." The bard exclaimed.

"We waited behind that brushes for awhile." Lynx replied. "The swarm witch concerned about our leader's safety, so we decide to move closer to this village."

Morrigan hissed. "No, I am not. I just said Issara will run to the trouble for save someone's head again. And now we see I was right."

"Oh…" Even Sten exclaimed in disbelieve, which made the sorceress rolled her eyes.

"Hey, have you all finished talking? I'm going to need some help here!" Their leader shouted from the roof. However, she winked.

Fell for simple trick, the soldiers climbed to the roof, intended to kill the smart-mouth who probably alone. So bad, the first man who arrived was bashed by Heavy Shield. Alistair hid on the roof, ready for surprise attack.

"Thank you, my knight." Issara kissed his cheek. "Are you sure you can handle them alone?"

"I'm more capable than you know, my sweet-less leader. Besides, the other will come to me, you can go now." He grinned and kissed back.

She faked a frown. "You're going to be punished because your mouth later, then."

Laughed, the ex-templar hurled to the soldiers who climbed to their post. Beneath them, the rest of party was fighting with grounded men.

There's an executioner stood near the prisoner. He was hesitating if he ought to run or fight. However, he began to run for his live while the exotic Warden jumped from the roof and transformed to golden beast. Issara in king of the tropical forest's form roared out loud, all soldiers were frightened and ran away.

When they're all saved, Issara turned back to human. She cut the ropes that were bounding the prisoner's limbs and healed him with her magic.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, not yet full recovery but alive. "Water… please,"

"Take this, but don't hurry." The exotic Warden gave him her flask of water, which him drank it thirsty like had starved it for years.

When he had enough, the poor man poured the water on his head to sweep the grime away. "Thank you so much, milady… Lady Lillian! I never had thought I will see your face again."

"Basil, I remember you went to Ostagar with Fergus!"

"Yes, milady, and I was with him until I came here to buy some medical supply. Most of our unit survives from the dark spawn's attack in Korcari Wilds but badly wounded. When Loghain's men took me, those bastards tortured me for their hiding but I said nothing."

Tear flowed from her eyes, "Thank you… thank you." She repeated it again and again.

Her companion walked to them. Alistair opened his mouth to ask if there's something wrong, but Issara hurled to his chest happily. "Fergus is alive!"

"That is the good news. But where is he now?"

They glazed at the die-hard man who now could stand on his own feet.

"I'll lead you to him. Milord must be glad to see his sister again. But…how can you be here and who are these people?"

Something lodged in Issara's throat, she couldn't say anything. Alistair helped her by commanded the Cousland's soldier. "She will explain it to your lord. Lead us to him."

The soldier familiar with receive the command. He followed the ex-templar's order without more word.

…

Just a few hours, they're back to the wilds. Issara saw unnatural marks on the tree bark which must be the direction sign. Not far from the last one, she sensed something was moving behind the brushes. Basil seemed to know that too. He whistled some strange song and then the hiding man appeared to their eyes.

"Basil, I thought you were dead!" The scout exclaimed, and exclaimed louder when saw another visitor. "By the Maker, it's you, Lady Lillian! How this is possible?"

Real Lillian never speaks or even looks their face, but Issara used to practice with them for a long while. No doubt, with her attitudes, she could become friend with them easily. However, she had no time for speak with them.

"Good to see you again, Claude. But I want to see my brother. Is he alright?"

"Your lordship is all right. He is in the cave up ahead, taking care of our wounded men." Claude replied.

Issara fought back her tear. "I'll go to him. Oh, these people are my friends. Wynne is the great healer, and we also bring some medical supply. Your comrades will recover in no time."

"I remember this man. He is the templar who…oops!" Basil plugged his mouth.

"Our cave is that way, milady. I'll greet your friends. Don't worry." The middle age man said.

The forge lady arched her eyebrows. She was suspecting they're hiding something. Alas, this wasn't the right time. Then she walked to the cave they showed her without more question.

In the cave, the campfire gave enough light to reveal the faces inside. Issara very happy to met the Teyrn Cousland's son but hesitated to go to him. Who know how him would react if he know what happened to his family. He might blame her for unable to save them or he might…

Fergus took his eyes out of his men and found familiar figure was standing near the entrance. Too happy to confuse, the Cousland held his sister tight. "Maker's blood, I really glad to see you again!"

Felt like was suffocated, Issara couldn't breathe. "I am too, really glad to see you alive and well."

Her look reminded him something. "How can you be here? You're supposed to stay in Highever. Don't tell me father sent you to find me. I'll on my way to home as soon as my men able to travel."

That's all. The dam in her eyes broke. Issara couldn't stop crying. "I'm so sorry Fergus, I'm sorry." And then, she told him everything.

As stoic as he able, new Teyrn Cousland wiped the tear off his adopt sister's face tenderly. "That isn't your fault. Exactly, I should thank you for carrying our honor. I really mean that when I said I'm glad to have you as my sister."

"But…"

Fergus smiled and showed her his sword. "Do you remember this? It saved my life when I and my men were ambushed by dark spawn. If you didn't sharpen and enchanted it, I must be already dead. Because of your care, we aren't all lost. I can't thank you enough."

That was reassuring. Issara felt better. "You're too kind. I'm sorry for kept my secret from you."

He petted her head. "I might do the same if I were you. A lonely girl was forced to leave her live and suddenly found herself among the strangers. It's not bad idea to keep her true identity from them. Your choice is understandable."

Thai people believed head is most important part of body, so they don't like when someone touches it. Anyway, that rule doesn't apply on family's member or anyone they trust. Issara smiled with tearful eyes in her brethren's embrace.

However, she remembered her duty. "Before I left Highever, Lady Eleanor told me to carry your family's treasure. Alistair… my friend is keeping it for me. I'll get it back."

"No need," Fergus stopped her. "You can keep it. Father must be proud if the Cousland's sword and shield could help the Grey Wardens in saving the world from the Blight."

"I appreciate that but…I can't take it. These things belong to the Couslands, but I am…"

"You weren't born as the Couslands. But I can say for all of us that we love you. Don't think about us as anything but family." The noble man replied.

Smile wider, Issara paid respect to him by raised her hands together as Thai's manner. "Thank you, Fergus. No matter what happen, you will always be my brother."

Fergus patted her back. None of them said anything until Lady Grey Warden asked.

"What are you going to do now? At this rate, you can't just go to Highever and take it back from Howe."

"Our duty must come first. I want to help you fight the Blight."

That wasn't good idea. "I don't want the army until the battle come. Perhaps you and your men have to find somewhere to prepare yourself… yes, I think I know a good place. There's a fortress in the north. You could stay there and wait for my message."

"What if I go to Redcliffe? Bann Teagan is my old friend, I can stay with him."

"No," Issara refused firmly. "I caught two Loghain's agents when I was there. With his power and money, that Asshole could send more of them to that village and every regions of Ferelden. I don't want him to know about your safety. Soldier's peak used to abandon, people forget it for so long. This fortress will be great place for hiding."

"Now-now, you speak like a true commander. Father must be proud." Fergus smiled happily. "But I wonder; why do we have to keep me secret?"

"It's just my assumption. But I'm rather sure that Loghain have something to do with the Highhever's massacre. Despite his madness, he isn't an idiot. He must know Teyrn Cousland was a loyalist. If he still alive, he would take the betrayer of the throne down. Besides, the Couslands could be the next in line to the throne. That is why Howe killed everyone even… I'm sorry."

Talking about the past hurt his heart. The Teyrn tried to put himself together. "So, if he knows me still alive, he might try to kill me."

"Yes," Issara nodded. "You are the last Cousland. You have to be saved."

He opened his mouth to argue, but the grime in her eyes stopped him. This woman before him wasn't Lillian and no one know his sister's true fate. He couldn't hope either of them will survive this chaos. The Cousland's line depended on him.

"Fine, I understand. I'll go to soldier's peak as soon as I able. Just don't forget to send the message when you need me. I want to be there with you when we cut Howe's throat."

"No matter how much I love you, dear brother, I can't promise you that. Howe had only one neck and I want to cut it myself. The blood from his head will be the offering to everyone who lost at Highever that night." Issara smiled ruthlessly.

"I can just sit and enjoy the show. I do trust you will give him what he deserves."

"You bet." They shook their hands in promising.

…

That night, the Grey Wardens and company had to stay with Highever's men because Wynne wanted to make sure they all be fine. Issara used this time to ease herself among people she familiar with. No one noticed she poured Dalish's wine into Claude's mug while they're talking about the month they separate.

Alistair wanted to join their conversation, but Fergus called him first.

"Can I have a word?" The big brother asked.

Dejavu..?He knew that look. Once in many years ago, Fergus confronted him for his sister's honor. Although he was only a fourteen aged boy, he tried to stop the stable-boy from following Lillian around. In that time, Alistair was nine and still too innocence to understand the concept of courting, so the argument never go anywhere. At last, Lillian just batted her eyelash and dragged her pet away.

"Um, anything you wish, your lordship."

Fergus growled. "Don't call me that, your majesty."

The younger man groaned in return. Fergus used to mock him with that title several times before, but this time he looked so serious.

"What do you want?" The bastard prince asked annoying.

"Come with me." The older man commanded. "I want to talk with you in private."

There's no choice, Alistair followed his old friend out of the camp area. The Teyrn told his man who was watching the perimeter to go somewhere else. So they had privacy far from any nosy ears.

"Well, can we talk now?" Younger man asked, even he knew what was coming.

Fergus crossed his arms above his chest. He was really serious. "Before we go, I must tell you I knew the way you looked at Issara. And that really bother me."

Alistair didn't surprise that his friend knew the truth of his little freak. Issara told him the Cousland knew about her true identity. However, he didn't understand what Fergus was going to say. "What are you talking about?"

"Don't get coy, brother. I, myself once a man who fall in love with woman, I'd known your feeling toward my brethren. I can't blame you or her for fall for each other. She is charming creature and you are good lad, after all. But I can't help worrying about Lillian. Issara told me she would go back to her world when the Blight had ended. Lillian might comeback after she gone…"

He knew exactly what was going to happen, but that truth still bite every time he thought about it. "I knew I couldn't be with her. But how could I suppose to stop myself from loving a kind, smart and beautiful woman like her? I tried that, more than once, but never success."

His sincerely answer stunned Fergus. The Cousland was speechless for awhile.

"I… well, I understand. Anyhow, I still worry about… you know, Issara is in Lillian's body. If you sleep with her…"

Alistair's cheeks turned completely red. "What the… that isn't going to happen!"

"How could you be so sure? You just said you love her and we both know what will happen if man and woman love each other… You don't lack on that part of yours, yes?"

He never had thought it would be possible, but he felt like all of his blood rushed to his head. The ex-templar shouted heatedly. "There's nothing wrong about my body. I can't believe you just asked me that, dirty dog!"

Unofficial Teyrn Cousland grinned devilishly. "We're talking about my sister's virginity. Don't you think I have every reason in the world to worry?"

It's unpleasant, but understandable. No matter how cruel Lillian was, Fergus was her brother and only remain family. He had the right to protect her.

"Point taken," Alistair agreed. "But you don't have to. Issara and I know our line, we won't do that. I you don't trust me, trust her."

The older man sighed in surrender. "Perhaps I shouldn't say anything in the first place. No matter how I concern, I can do nothing. Just keep this in mind: if you take Issara, you take Lillian too. And if that happen, you have to marry her or I'll hunt you down, king or no."

Several emotions ran through the bastard prince's mind. He knew that fact already but it kept slip from his mind every time he saw Issara's smile. Once, Wynne banter him that he was enraptured by exotic Warden. He tried to defend himself, but it's obviously that she was right.

* * *

1 Zhuge Liang was Chancellor of Shu Han during the Three Kingdoms period of Chinese history. He is often recognized as the greatest and most accomplished strategist of his era.


	30. Quiet Nights and Quiet Stars

**Alarm, alarm… Adult content ahead!**

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* * *

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Quiet Nights and Quiet Stars

* * *

Long walk was desperately tormented. Anyway, hot bath after that was absolutely awesome.

Issara rested herself on a boulder, let the hot spring take the sore from muscle. The farther they traveled, the weather was colder. If they reach the Haven that lay beyond the Frostback Mountain, they must found themselves surrounded by snow and ice. She might have to skip the bath for very long time. They're so lucky to found this place before start hiking to the mystery village.

Lost in thought, she replayed the scene of her and Highever's men say goodbye. It's just three days ago but she felt like a year. She marked Soldier's peak in Fergus' map and wrote a letter to Levi for explain the situation. She did everything in her power for him, so anything else was in his hands now. It's time for her and company to continue her quest.

Somehow, there's something changed after that night. Issara managed to interrogate the good old Claude. In his drunken state, the soldier told her about one night in Highever. The story wasn't clear and sound nonsense. Even though it would be easier if she just scan him, she didn't do it because she didn't want to invade his privacy. So she hadn't got all of information.

She thought about asking Alistair because he was one of the characters in that soap opera. Alas, her knight seemed utterly distress since the first time she saw him in the morning after poor feast night. If she didn't imagine it, his condition was worse and worse every time they contacted in any way.

The unnatural earthquake brought her back to reality. Just a few second, a glowing stone golem walked to her in annoying emotion. "Is it going to sit like that until sunset?"

Shale: the golem was her newest companion. After Fergus left, the Grey Wardens and company went to Honnleath again for refill the stuffs they used heal the wounded soldiers. Too bad, they found the village was overrun by darkspawns. Then they have to help the survivors by kill every taint creatures they met. One of the villagers thank her for saved him and his daughter with a control rod and phrase to active the stone golem, the same one she thought it was a statue.

All she'd known about golem were the myths. This thing could be either useful friend or dangerous hostile. Anyway, Issara thought it's worthwhile to risk.

The exotic Warden was active it. The big rock came to life and began to talk. They found out later that the control rod had broken and the golem was able to have free will. However, the glowing rocker had no idea about what it was going to do from this point, thus it intend to follow the exotic Warden for the time being.

Even unable to move, Shale was conscious and kept watching the village for so long. It heard Issara planed the strategy for rescue the prisoner, which made it interest in this creature.

To her surprise, Issara found it was amusing to have the conversation with this thing. Shale had amazing sense of humor and colorful sarcasm in its words. If the golem had gender, Issara curtain this one was a female, a hot-head and poultry-hater female, to say the last.

"I'm coming. Give me a minute to dress, please." Issara replied. She draped her body with a sheet of fabric just like Thai people did when they had to bath in non-private, so she didn't feel embarrass in front of the golem.

Shale murmured something and then turned back to camp. The exotic Warden shook her head. Her rocky friend was so animated.

Unfortunately, when she was looking in pile of her replacement cloths for a towel to dry herself, she found none. "Oh my, I must forget it in my tent." At first, she thought about get dress without drying, but the chilly wind changed her mind. "If I don't dry up before get dress, I might freeze to death before make it to my warm blanket."

Rabbit that was guarding her whine in agreement.

And it gave her an idea. "Good boy, can you go fetch my towel? If you help me, I'll reward you with a biggest Mabari's crunch I have."

The hound barked in excitement and ran off. Then, Issara let herself enjoy hot spring a bit longer. Anyway, Rabbit didn't waste much time, he came back with light-blue towel in two minute or so.

"Good job, my favorite boy." But in the second thought, "This isn't my towel."

No need to wait for the answer. She heard a yell that followed by a large frame of human. A towel almost fell to the water when she could take a clear vista of that…err…man.

Alistair was standing before her, shocking. He was frosting from head to toe while look at a woman in hot spring. Issara had a dark-pink fabric enfold around, but it too thin. Soaked sheet just clinging to her honey skin, showed every curves and left some for imagine.

Anyway, she didn't concern about his stare. All of blood in her body rushed to her face while she was leering at his well-build figure. The chantry-boy had nothing on at all. She could see his muscle throbbing in every breath he took. Her eyes helplessly traveled from his face to muscular chest, and followed the light-golden hair trail that leading down to...

"My dear father and sweet mother..!" Issara cried and instantly turned around. "Cover yourself, please!"

"But you have my towel." Alistair protested.

Damn it! Stupid Rabbit stole his towel instead of go to her tent and take hers. Issara hurried throw it back to its owner.

"I'm sorry." The man apologized. "I was bathing when Rabbit took my towel… so I followed without thinking."

Couldn't he just take it back and go? It's hard enough to trying not to think about his large…member was saluting to her. She really didn't want to talk to him right here and now. "Apologize accept. Now, please go."

"But why Rabbit stole my towel? Did you command him to?"

He might get some horrible wrong idea if she doesn't tell him the true. Issara hurried explain. "I forget my towel so I told Rabbit to fetch me one. Obviously, he didn't understand my command clearly."

"Well, perhaps I ought to fetch you towel instead."

That's her knight in shining armor. "Very generous of you, thank."

…

That's absolutely embarrassed. Alistair wished the earth will crack for him to jump down and hide himself forever. If there's anything that worse than he was standing stark naked in front of her, it must be his manhood got erect because of her glory. Issara must think of him as a terrible man. He's doom.

Anyway, before he retired of the night, Issara came to his tent. Still flush, she mustered all of her courage to talk to him but it's harder than she thought. Even after she entered his shelter, she still couldn't look in his eyes.

"I…want to apologize." She said it eventually. Anyway, her eyes were on anywhere but him.

His brows arched in curiousness. "Apologize, for what?"

"It is…about the evening. Well, rabbit was the one to create the mess but I'm his master and I commanded him to… so I must have responsibility."

In the dim light, Issara blushed almost crimson. When she glared at him with her wide eyes, Alistair totally lost his thought. His unconscious hand fondled her cheek before stopped at her chin and slowly pulled her to him. They kissed passionately and more intent. Two bodies collided together with passion that happened so fast. When they gasped for air and regained some consciousness, Issara was found herself sitting on his lap shamelessly. Strange, she didn't feel nervous as she expected.

"I think…" She whispered under her ragged breath. "That's mean you do forgive me."

"I can't remember if I've ever mad at you." Alistair answered heartily. He sought for her lips again but slander hand stopped him first.

"Can I…ask you something?"

"Your desire is my command." He purred.

Every time he said that, Issara felt 'tickled' inside, so she pinched his nose in banter. "Well, I knew you and Lillian never… but I still curious. Have you ever…"

Alistair blushed deep red but there's mischievous look in his eyes. "Ever… Have I ever what? Have a good pair of shoes?"

_Here we go, he is joking again._ The lady thought heatedly. "You know what I mean!"

"I'm not sure I do." He knows exactly what she meant but he couldn't resist some amusement. "Have I ever seen a basilisk? Ate jellied ham? Have I ever licked a lamppost in the winter?"

Issara blinked. "Now you're making fun of me."

"Make fun of you, dear lady? Perish the thought." The ex-templar grinned triumphant. "Well, tell me: have _you_ ever licked a lamppost in the winter?"

"Um, I knew what will happen if someone lick something too cold. But, to be honest, my motherland is so hot for the entire year. Even if we had lamppost, it would never be cold. I, for one never interest in licking a hot lamppost." She answered innocently.

Great, she didn't understand his metaphor. Her innocence made him speechless.

"But… if you mean… have I ever be with any man? Perhaps I ought to remind you that you _stole_ my first kiss." That sentence came with a firmly smack.

He should know it! This woman was so good in bluffing. "Woman, could you stop teasing me for once?"

"But I love when you're blushing." She retorted with bright smile. "Now, tell me your answer."

"I was raised in the monastery and trained to be the templar before I was recruited…"

As always, she was able to assume the rest of the story. "So, your first and only opportunity for get rid of your virginity is with Lillian at Highever. Why didn't you accept her offer? She is a beautiful woman."

Held her tighter, Alistair confessed. "Because I want to save it for the woman I love."

Somehow, Issara smiled slyly and kissed him. She giggled softly after that. "Am I that desirable?"

"What?" The ex-templar exclaimed, but suddenly stopped when he realized that his treacherous member got hard again. His little freak doesn't an idiot, so she surely knew what was beneath her butt right now.

However, she smiled in understanding. "I understand… well, my people weren't exactly shy people. Sometime they talks about… let say I'd known that if the man haven't…release his tension for too long, he will…err… lost his mind." She paused to swallow hard. "Perhaps… I should help you…"

Maker helped him! "Am I dreaming? We aren't talking about _that_, right?"

"I'm serious, Ali. I can't give you…my heart, but at least I can give you some pleasure. Let me help you." And then, she kissed him. Stopped his any protest completely with her lips and tongue.

Alistair couldn't resist. In fact, he didn't even sure if he wanted to resist her bold move. When Issara pushed him onto his back, he had no intended to deny. How could he do that while he couldn't even breathe?

If she doesn't do it now, she will lose her nerve to finish. So, the exotic Warden unbuttoned his shirt as fast as she could. Straddling him, she drank the sight of his marvelous chest before kissed it hungrily. In the same while, her hands unlaced his trousers, unleashed his erection.

"Ice… Oh, Maker…" Alistair felt helpless. His member was throbbing in her hand, shamelessly responded to her delicious ministrations.

"Relax," She soothed. "I won't bite."

The ex-chantry boy laughed breathlessly. "But you know? You're looking at me like you are going to eat me or something."

"Maybe…" Still was looking through his eyes, Issara downed her mouth to kiss the tip of harden flesh.

He hissed sharply. His hip bucked high, respond to hands those were massaging him thoughtfully. There's hesitation and a bit of fear in her expression, which faded away when he moaned her name in purely bliss. With more confident, she licked his thick 'lamppost' from the base to peak before took it to her mouth.

"Maker," That's all he choked. All the fantasies he ever had in those cold nights hadn't prepared him for this. Looking through her eyes, he moaned louder as she began moving along his range.

Kept watching his response, she changed the rhythm and speed that depend on his expression. Her hands helped her massage his balls and the part that her throat couldn't reach. In one moment, she remembered dirty joke that she heard from her married friends which about extracting men's snake. She couldn't help but chuckled and that cause the vibration, which made her man moan louder. Amazed in new discovery, she did it again.

Either his inexperience or her superb service, Alistair couldn't last long. He tried to warn her but it's too late. His hot fluid spouted out before Issara could withdraw, so she swallowed it all.

"It's not bad as I thought." She murmured.

Still breathing ragged, the ex-templar dragged her to him roughly. "I can't believe you just did _that_! Where on earth you had learned to do it?"

"I had many of 'sources of information'." The exotic Woman said with giggle. "This is the first time I ever tried, and look like you love it."

"Love it..? I almost die because of absolute pleasure, you little minx." He kissed her again, with all passion.

Her giggle stuck in her throat. She looked down and saw Alistair's large hands were holding her breasts. Through her cotton tunic, hot fingers of him fondled her tenderly.

Issara arched her eyebrows, and he whispered. "Let me return the favor."

But she shook her head. "No need, only your pleasure is enough. I just wanted to help you, and I think this is my time to leave."

"But you will…"

"Believe me. I can handle _that_ better than you. Goodnight, my stallion." Then, she kissed him one last time.

His eyes almost shut, but still pleaded. "Please, at least sleep here tonight."

"Alright, you won this time." Issara replied with small giggle. "But I have to warn you. If I wake up with your snake pressing to me again, I'll extract your venom…till the last drop."

Held her tighter until her face rested on his chest, Alistair answered sleepily. "What can I say? Your desire is my command."

…

"It looks strange lately." Shale said when it met Alistair in the next morning. "Perhaps it's because of the red Warden's treatment last night."

"WHAT?" Blushing hard, the ex-templar exclaimed bashfully.

"I have no need to sleep. Last night I saw the red Warden duck into its tent and I heard she said something about helping it. The treatment must be good, I assume."

Issara who was cooking the breakfast couldn't suppress her chuckle. Even though her face was reddening like a big hot tomato, she smiled slyly. "I did good job in healing. Wynne must be proud."

Alistair couldn't believe his ears. "Maker preserves me! You're impossible, woman."

The exotic Warden laughed harder, almost rolled on the ground.

The golem stared at them in curiousness. "I wonder: Why the red Warden called whining Warden Stallion?"

This time, the lovers were totally speechless. Alistair returned to polish his armor while Issara back to the pot. Neither of them dared to say anything until the blushing stop.


	31. Sanctuary

Blame my habit, but I really couldn't help myself from modify story. Anyway, this is Alternate Universe, right?

* * *

Sanctuary

* * *

"_Fuck-fuck-fuck"_ Issara cursed angrily. _"Why everywhere I go had to full of madness?"_

Name is Haven, sounds save and peaceful. But the true is; there's nothing friendly in this village. The Grey Wardens could sense cruel intention in the cold air since they stepped in the village. The villager didn't show their true attitude yet until Issara had found the body of Redcliffe's knight in backroom of the village's shop. From that point, the true beneath the cold mask was exposed. Everyone even the kids attacked them like some kind of scary movie.

To the village's chantry, they had found more and more lunatic cultists. Those people fought with anything they had, some used only bare hands and without combat skill. However, all of them intended to kill Issara and her companions at all cost. So she could do nothing but kill them in self-defend.

Looking at their blood in her stain hands, she felt guilty somehow.

Whatever, after a terrible massacre, they have found what they're looking for. Brother Genitivi was caged in secret room of the chantry, wounded but alive. The good old man gave them information about the temple that was hidden in the mountain, which he believed the sacred ashes had kept inside.

Despite her protest, the scholar insisted to guide her to the temple. Along the way to their destination, he proved himself was useless in fighting. Issara was able to breathe easier when he decide to stay at the entrance of the ruin sanctuary.

Certainly, the temple was lost the glory day at least for century, but even the frozen blizzard couldn't destroy the trace of faith. People whom built this place must be faithful in their Andraste. No one would work so hard to build the grand sanctuary in the terrible weather for money, no matter how high the wage paid. And because of it, the Psychometrer could see the ghost of the past in every stones. The long lost memories were overlapped with each other like someone projected many movies on one screen.

Followed the long corridor, fought through bloody path of ancient sanctuary, and killed many of dragon cultists until she was lost the count. Issara groaned in disappoint when they was found the tunnel that lead to the icy cave. No matter how beauty it was, she still hated the cold place.

Especially the cold cavern that full with the lunatic cultists, Drakes and Dragonlings, six comrades have so many jobs to do. The leader felt bad for didn't bring all of them together.

"Perhaps we ought to rest for awhile." Issara offered. She saw Millar, Lynx, Wynne and Alistair exhausted, even Rabbit was barely bark.

"That sound good," The old mage sat down on a rock nearby. "I already run out of mana. Do you have more lyrium?"

Issara ransacked her pack and gave Wynne three of potent lyriums. "These all I have. Most of our supply was used to heal Highever's men. I want to refill the stock, but neither Honnleath nor Haven has any for us."

"I got some from those blood mages." Lynx gave the leader five vials of lyrium potion.

"Oh, thank you." Issara kept only two vials. For the rest, she handed to her instructor. "Wynne is our healer, she need this potion more than me."

Drank one instantly, the spirit healer feel better. Then she casted the spell on the companion to helped them restore stamina and health.

"Very well," Millar smiled. "We can go farther now. I prefer to finish this quest before our fearless leader was freeze to death."

"Nah, I'm good." Issara refused. "Morrigan did enchant my overcoat. It will keep me warm."

"Speaking of which… she must able to set some fire if she was here." The city elf said.

But the ex-templar moaned. "I prefer this way. Morrigan used her spell without caring about me. I was burned by friendly fire so often."

"Sometime we couldn't control where our power goes. Magic is just like the bomb, it unable to choose its target." Issara protected her sorceress. "I burned you sometime too. Why hadn't you ever mad at me?"

Alistair blushed and whispered. "How could I be mad at the woman I love?"

"Bha, (crazy)" With red cheeks, the Exotic Warden chided him in her mother's language.

Two elves made funny face. This couple could be so sweet anywhere and anytime.

Wynne cleared her throat. "Perhaps we ought to go father. The cold isn't good for my old bone, so I prefer to leave this place as soon as we able."

"Agreed," Issara replied, still holding her knight's hand.

…

At the deepest part of icy cave that connected with the ruined temple, the party was met Kolgrim or father Kolgrim, as he introduces himself. Of course, just one Reaver couldn't make Issara scare. The bigger problem was he wasn't alone. There're twenty-two men with him, six bows were aiming at them while four blood mages ready their magic. If the Grey Wardens just fight without any plan, they will get mortally damage surely.

Thought about another solution, Issara think about using her .357 Magnum but it had content only six bullets, thus she couldn't shoot all of them fast enough. Grenade wasn't the option either, because the exploration might ruin the cavern. It's not funny if the ceiling falls down.

Anyway, although the cult leader didn't look saner than his followers, he seemed so eager to make conversation.

"Old Andraste had destroyed by Tavinter imperial, but now she was reborn to new glory. She will lead us to new era, if only the last chain between her and her old self will be destroyed."

The Exotic Warden arched her brows. "Well, if you don't mind. Perhaps you ought to straight to the point."

"Straight to the business, I like that. All right, I want you to destroy the ashes. If you do as I offer, you will got the mighty reward that beyond your imagination." The man said.

"I don't think that is a good idea." Alistair whispered.

"Neither am I." Issara replied. "I believe in reincarnation, but this sound totally bullshit."

Kolgrim didn't hear their conversation, but he knew the Grey Wardens wouldn't cooperate. So he decided to use more persuade. "Perhaps this man will able to help you decide."

"What?" She lost her voice somewhere in her throat when she saw the cultist dragged an old man to their view.

It was Brother Genitivi. The scholar's head was wounded but still conscious. From his expression, he surely knew how bad the situation goes. "I apologize, Warden. But they got me before I can run."

"What say you, the intruder? If you want to help him, you must do what I ask." The cult's leader asked.

Angry, Issara cursed someone's parent and ancestor in her mother's language. She really wished to be wicked enough to let this annoying priest die. Anyway, with more tricks in her sleeve, she wasn't giving up so easily. "Alright, tell me what you want me to do."

"It's so easy. You just had to pour the blood of new Andraste into the ashes." Kolgrim showed her a small vial of red liquid. "The old Andraste's reminds will be destroyed and the new prophet will be free. You will grunt the title and ability of her champion."

"If that so easy like it sound, why don't you do it yourself?"

"The ashes are protected by the Guardian. No one ever pass him to the ashes. This will be your chance to redeem yourself." Still, the man said careless.

Kolgrim must be an idiot if he really thought he could make her accept his offer. Issara already had the plan for repay the deed. "Alright, give me that vial. But you must let Genitivi go."

"How could I trust you to do the job if I let him go?"

He wasn't totally idiot, but he wasn't match with the tricky woman. "You and your glory Andraste don't afraid of us, do you? This man is just an old scholar. He can do nothing but slow us down." Yeah, just like the dead philosopher said: if you want to convince the mad man, you must play mad.

"Hum, what you said is true. The sacred prophet is holy creature. She could kill all of you anytime." The Reaver commanded his men to release the old man.

Genitivi walked to the party in grieve. He avoided Issara's eyes as she didn't look at him. Anyway, she whispered to him when they're close enough. "Go to Sten, tell him what's happened."

Without looking back, the scholar ran as fast as his painful legs could carry him.

"Very well, shall we continue our business?" The Exotic Warden asked, attracted every attention off the old man.

…

"Oh, we're here at last." Issara sighed. Her hands were on large metal door of another ancient sanctuary. Kolgrim told her Andraste's ashes was keeping inside this temple. As far as he knew, anyone who wants to see it must pass the Guardian whom protected this place.

Before she opened the door, she looked back to Kolgrim and his men whom were waiting at the far side of mountaintop. She didn't concern much about them, but the high dragon on the cliff was very disturbing her.

To his credit, the mad Reaver helped the party pass that fearsome monster in one piece. No matter how he connected with the beast, this situation wouldn't be good for the Grey Wardens. Perhaps she ought to plan new solution. Trying to kill the dragon isn't harder than try to find the way to survive from this situation.

"Let's go, then." Alistair helped her open the door.

"Yes." She replied. The cultist or dragon wasn't her urgent business, but what behind this door did.

Outside of the temple was ruined by terrible weather and age, so Issara thought the inside must wasn't different. She was right, but just the half of it. The temple was abandoned but still in shape. There're lighting torches inside, the temperature also was incredible warm. This place didn't seem like abandon at all.

This time she was right. In front of the next door, they're met a man in old fashion armor. He almost looked like normal human, except his lifeless eyes.

"I bid you welcome, pilgrims." The man said as he bowed. The Exotic Warden felt he was trying to avoid her glaze.

Anyway, Thai people thought it would be rude if they don't reply the formal greeting, so Issara saluted him back. "Thank you. I assume you are the Guardian."

To everyone's surprise, the Guardian jumped backward like he fear something, which made Issara felt awkward.

"I apologize." He said as he regained his own mind. "I am not use to… please do not do that again."

"But I just bowed… Whatever, I'm here for the sacred ashes." She had no intention to waste more breath, so she cut it short.

His lips twisted to small smile. "I waited for this day for so long… However, you shall prove yourself worthy."

"You waited for me?"

His darken eyes glowed softer, contented with some emotion that made her felt more uneasy. "If you can pass the test, which mean you are the one I waiting for, you will get the truth of yourself that you had never known, milady."

Nothing comes without price. It's not look like she had many choices anyway. "Alright, I'll face your test. But what kind of test you're talking about?"

"It is not my place to decide your worthiness, the Gauntlet will. If you are found worthy you will see the urn and be allowed to take a small pinch of the ashes… or anything."

Issara sensed that something important was going to happen, something she have known but couldn't remember. "Anyhow, could I ask you something… about the high dragon?"

"I will answer as best of my ability."

Somehow she knew the answer, but still wanted to know for sure. "It isn't Andraste, is it?"

"That beast isn't Andraste. The prophet doesn't with us anymore."

Millar who was standing behind the leader sighed. "What a relief. I really don't want to fight with Andraste."

"Can't say I care, I only want to finish our quest and back to our camp." Lynx growled. "Shall we go now?"

Issara nodded and began to walk, but the Guardian stood in their way.

"Before you go, there is something I wish to ask." He talked to Millar. "There is much suffering in your past, of yours and others. By the time you reached Shianni she was broken and brutalized. You were too late. Tell me pilgrim: did you think you fail her?"

The elven Warden stopped half way. "How could you know that?"

"Wait a minute." Millar told her story to Issara, so the Exotic Warden knew what he asking. She stepped forward to protect her follower. "Millar did everything in her power to help her cousin and friends. Even though she couldn't save all of them, it's not her fault at all. Besides, talking about the past doesn't give us any good."

"It's all right, Issara. I'm not…" The city elf refused the help but another female Warden stopped her.

"No, there's nothing right. Although we ought to learn from the past, doesn't mean we have to stick with it." The Exotic Warden said with all seriousness. Her hands were touching the elf's face softly. "No matter how hard you tried, sometime thing just goes out of your hand. But the most important thing is: you did try, you didn't abandon them. Even the result wasn't good as you expected, you have nothing to regret."

Warm liquid seeped from Millar's eyes. Those kind words touched her heart so deep, more than anyone ever able to make her feel. The wall in her heart just broke under Issara's kindness. "Thank you, Issara. I had been waiting for forgiveness for so long."

"You must forgive yourself. I can do nothing."

But her soft words and hug lifted Millar's spirit high. The elf Warden held her friend firmly as she repeated the same word over and over. "Thank you…"

Alistair smiled. His little freak was so kind whenever she want to. Who would believe that she was able to be fierce warrior in the fighting or sultry woman on his bedroll?

The Guardian tried to question the rest of party, but every inquiry was deflected with Issara's smart words. Strange thing was; he inquired everyone but never protested or questioned the Exotic Warden. In fact, he always kept his head down like a boy in awe.

Probably got enough of fierce justification, the Guardian let the party passed eventually. Somehow, his gesture disturbed her. Issara might try to figure it out if she didn't have to solve the quest.

Just a few steps to next room, she lost her chain of thought altogether. The earth beneath her feet shook violently, caused her to fell to her knees. It's end in three minute or so. There's nothing damage and she didn't get hurt. The leader turned back to check on her followers, but was found none of them: all of her friends vanished.

She ran to the door, but no matter how she pushed it with force, it wasn't budge. Her voice echoed in the heavy air, which made her heart beating rapidly in fear. Panic, Issara began crying and beating the metal door like a little girl. "Ali, Wynne, Millar, Lynx, Rabbit… Where're you?"

"Now-now, who would have thought that the brave Warden will cry like a girl if she lost her lover? Tsk-tsk-tsk, what's ashamed."

Despite the tear, Issara suddenly turned back as her hands reached for her blades those were always clinking with her belt. Again, they vanished. She has nothing but her armor. Anyway, she stopped thinking altogether while she saw the newcomer. That face was the one she hadn't seen for awhile: Her face…

_Doppelganger…!_ She warned herself. _This must be the test that Guardian talked about._

"Your dark side must be the proper words, perhaps." Another Issara suggested with chilly smile.

"And if this is the movie, we're going to fight each other." If this thing was another side of her, she must know what kind of person Issara was. So, there's no point to waste more breath. Without any weapons or even her cestus, she just enfolded her right hand with her bandana. "Let's get over this. I get enough of this shit for the day."

The doppelganger laughed. "This is why I love myself so much. However, I must warn you something. No matter this situation looks like, you and I am the same person. If I get hurt or die, so do you… Well, unless you're strong enough, of course."

"Should I care? If we fight, both of us must get hurt anyway. And if you're really my dark side, you ought to have known that I do not fear of the death."

"Very well, now it's our time to 'enjoy' ourselves." The offer came with wolfish grin.

Issara sighed. She'd known herself too well. "I can't see any point for us to fight. But maybe I can find some in between the fighting, so bring it on."

…

_What in the name of the Maker this thing is?_

Alistair panted. His eyes locked on another man whom looked like himself and also had equal fighting skills with him. They're fighting for an hour or so but still couldn't best each other. Even though the ex-templar knew his opponent was almost exhausted, he didn't sure if he had enough stamina to make a next move.

The doppelganger roared as he was hurling to Alistair. The Grey Warden guarded the attack with his shield so long sword did him no harm. Still, he could feel the attack effect was vibrating in his arm.

"You want her, don't you?" Mystery warrior spoke for the first time.

"What?" Alistair didn't know what the thing tried to say, but something made him think about Issara.

Face to face, the wolfish grin made his stomach stir in uneasy state. "Dear sweet Ice, so beautiful, generous and talented, you want to have her so badly. Just her mouth isn't enough, yes?"

"What the…" Angry, the Grey Warden bashed his shield to his opponent. "Who're you? How could you know that?"

Another man just laughed. "You want to sink yourself inside her, make her yours. She is your courage, your heart and everything. Too bad, she is also your weakness."

"That is… none of your business." He never had thought he will say that word. For the first time in his life that he realize how bad for him to leave his life under the other's opinion. Issara told him to look for himself but he rarely think about it.

"No, _that_ is my business. You still don't realize, do you? I am you: Another you who are braver, stronger and more confident. I'm everything you want to be. Surrender to me and I'll make your dream come true."

"What… what's the dream you're talking about?"

That man didn't answer, but Alistair could see it in his mind. He saw himself was ravishing Issara. She cried and tried to fight but didn't succeed. While was hovering above her, he thrust into her sweet core violently no matter how she begged him to stop.

_No, this can't be. I never had dream to hurt her._ He denied the vision.

"That is you, truly you. Just admit it." The doppelganger said as if it could read his mind. "You want to do that since you laid your eyes on her for the first time."

"No, I would never did that to her and I won't let you." With rage, Alistair hurled to his opponent. Sword to sword, they fought each other like the beasts. His mind was blinded with anger, almost gone berserk. The sentimental caused him the great force.

The doppelganger fell. It's laying on the floor as the knight aim his sword to its neck. "You can't kill me. We're the same person. If I die, you'll die." The doppelganger growled.

"I don't care. If I must die to protect her, so be it." Then, he thrust Maric's sword to its throat.

Suddenly, blood was bleeding for his own throat. Alistair fell on his knees, trying to stop the bleeding with both hands as the world slowly faded away.

_No, I can't die here._ He thought. _Not until I'd known she is all right._

Blood is warming, but the warm he felt came from different source. He could feel lovely touch on his cheeks and softly lips on his. Although unable to see, he knew Issara was kissing him. Alistair would never forget her taste or her sweet voice when she called his name.

"Ali, wake up."

Shuddered, the knight opened his eyes to see endearing smile. He couldn't stop himself from reaching to her face, to make sure she was real. "Ice… I'm not dreaming, am I?"

"None of us are dreaming. Your fight with your dark side was mentally but real. I'm so glad to see you'd regained your consciousness."

"But I…" Grabbed his throat involuntary, he wasn't found any wound or blood. However, he slowly realized the fighting was only mentally. There's nothing happen to his physical even though the pain was unbearable.

Alistair looked around. He was in the same room he was before he was unconscious. Beside him were Issara and Rabbit. Both of them were looking at him in ease. Not so far, Wynne, Millar and Lynx were lying unconsciously next to each other. Perhaps the leader was laid them in more comfortable position.

"I'm worrying." The Exotic Warden sighed, knew what he was thinking. "I'm not sure how long I passed out. When I woke up, I saw all of you were lying around the room, only Rabbit still conscious. I… I feared if you're dead."

She didn't know she was crying until he kissed her wet cheek. "It's all right, don't be afraid. I would never leave you alone. And I would never hurt you."

Somehow, he made her concern. Issara fondled his face in soothing manner. "What's wrong, Ali? You look… disturb."

His Ice was so sweet, which made him feel bad for think about hurting her. "When I passing out, I met…"

"I knew what you're saying. In the test, I met my dark side too. Well, it wasn't the real fight. I'd learned to live with another me since the long time ago, so she didn't give me many problems."

"Live with it…how?"

Most of the time, Alistair wasn't interest in her complicated philosophy. Issara could see he had changed. "Nobody perfect, Ali. Everyone have good and bad side, and some of those weren't easy to change. You must accept in what you're."

"But… What if another me want to do the bad thing?" Confused, the knight almost whined.

She knew he would tell her about what he was worrying in time, so she didn't ask about it. With kind smile she just held him tight, placed his face on her bosoms. "Human are one of all animal. Only thing that secede us from the animal is morality. The bestiality follows their instinct, but human can restrain it and choose to do the right thing. I believe you can do it, for yourself and all of us."

They were covered in blood, dirt and whatnot, but Issara's odor still sweet. Alistair took a deep breath as he tried to restrain his desire. Ice deserved high respect. "I love you, Ice."

"And I you," She kissed on the crown of his head. "But no matter how much I love you, I have to take care of our comrades. I think I should check their condition again, you can stay here."

"I'll help. Though I'd known a little about healing, I can do whatever you tell me to." Didn't wait for her response, the ex-templar was standing on his own feet.

As always, Issara just smiled in understanding. "You can check on Wynne, I'll check on Millar and Lynx."

A wolfish grin appeared on corner of his mouth. "You don't want me to touch the other women?"

Her cheeks were burned with mix emotions. "Well, perhaps it's too late but… I must warn you, my dear knight. Thai ladies were renowned because of their loyalty for their husbands. Since you're stuck with me, you must get ready for my jealousy because I want the same amount of loyalty from you."

"How much of loyalty you ladies have? How could I know what you want from me?"

Issara rested her forehead on his chest. Her hand placed above his heart. "A long time ago, there's a woman who followed her husband to the war and died in protecting him. For you, I can do the same. But I don't expect you to die for me. On the contrary, I want you to live… though after I gone."

"I can die for you, Ice. But I'm not sure if I will able to live without you. I…"

Millar slowly sat up. Her curse interrupted his speech. The Exotic Warden giggled as she left him to take care of her friend. Anyway, her smile faded when she thought about a last secret she kept from him. Alistair wouldn't happy if he knows that she had planned to die for save his live.

…

The rest of the party was recovered in no time. None of them talked much about their test and Issara never ask, so they kept those for themselves even they knew they was going to tell her someday.

Other parts of the test were puzzle and puzzle, which made the leader felt a bit annoy. Especially in the last room, when the spirits of Andraste's important people looking at her with unreadable meaning. She felt awkward and sad in the same time.

Anyway, all those unpleasant emotions had gone when the last door opened. In the marble hall, marble stair way was leading to a statue of Andraste and a large urn. The sunlight from Stained glass windows bathed the white statue with amazing colors. Issara's brain was blanked, walked to the urn without any thinking as if she was hypnotized.

The companion tried to follow, but the fire suddenly erupted from the floor, blocking their way. Only thing they could do is watching their leader walking to the urn.

In front of the marble urn, Issara cried as she touched the grey dust. Now, she understood why the Guardian waited for her.

"It had been very long time since you left us…" The Guardian appeared. He kneeled before her with great respect.

"I…" Issara sighed. She got so many knowledge from the ashes, but still unable to understand all of them. "I'm not her. I'm… her avatar. When she had killed, her spirit had been broken. Several pieces fell to many worlds in different time and space those reborn to be many women. I…and Lillian are part of the band."

_That why I'm able to stay in this body. We used to be the same person._

"There is reason for your presence. Once, you had changed the world. Although I do not know the future, I knew you will do it again." He said then slowly disappeared. However, his words still echoed in her mind.

A hand placed on her shoulder, Issara looked up and saw Alistair. The flame disappeared after the Guardian gone, so the party could follow her. "Are you all right?"

With small smile, she nodded. "I'm alright. Both of us do."


	32. We're a miracle

We're miracle

* * *

They said: life and death are different side of the same coin. One minute you're enjoying your good luck but another minute you might lose all you had. Life was always ridiculous like that.

"You must be prepared for anything." Issara remembered what her grandpa taught her. Alas, it's easier to say.

When the Grey Wardens and companion left the sanctuary, Kolgrim and his men was waiting for them at the entrance. By some mystic way, he had known Issara didn't destroy the ashes. The mad man called her the liar but she refused.

"I never say I'll destroy the ashes. I just said: give me the vial."

Issara was so good in driving people mad. No wonder why Kolgrim raged as he lost his mind… if he has some. The lunatic cultists attacked the Grey Warden's party but they got surprise attack. Sten leaded the rest of party to rescue the Wardens. The reinforcement flanked the cultist just like the Exotic Warden planned. Not for long, most of dragon cult has been wiped out, Kolgrim was the last man who still standing.

When the fighting started, the cult leader fled. The Grey Wardens thought that was simple cowardice so they didn't pay attention at the mad man until they heard the sound of the horn.

"What the…" Lynx exclaimed.

On the cliff nearby, Kolgrim was laughing insanely. "You all will be dead. The glory Andraste will kill all of you."

The high dragon responded to that voice. It flew from nowhere then hovered above the mountaintop. Issara cursed in her mother's language.

"Ship-hay-leaw (We're doom.)"

Alas, the wind from dragon flapping blew the mad Reaver from the point he stood. He fell from the cliff, but the rocks beneath weren't the good supporter. In pity, Issara turned her face away from his crushed body.

From that point, everything just went to chaos. Ten comrades fought for their life under horrible situation. The leader had no other choice to defeat the beast, thus she thrown a grenade into dragon's mouth. Its neck exploded but still moved like other kind of serpent. Then, Issara fed it with another booming sphere.

However, the result was something she worried. The mountain was the sensitive place, loud voice and vibration could cause the Avalanche. The Exotic Warden didn't know what happen after the ton of snow fell down upon her.

Until she opened her eyes again,

"Well, it looks like the hell still doesn't want me." She talked to herself.

The first thing she saw was the rocks and more rock. It collided to each other and became the roof to covered Issara from only-god-knew-how-much of snow upon her. As far as she knew, she might fell to the chasm and separated from her companions. Anyway, with her ultimate optimism, this situation wasn't so bad. If she could survive from the avalanche, the other can do it too. The top priority for her right now must be saving her life then find her friends.

After she healed herself, Issara crawled through small hole. The sky outside was gloomy but she felt this was a most beautiful day in her life. Above her head in very far distance, the ruin bridge that was spanning between the ruin temple and Andraste's resting place still in its shape. That meant she fell down so deep. Her survival was absolute miracle.

Not far, she was found unconscious Rabbit. Luckily, his wounded didn't beyond her healing ability. The hound recovered in no time after his mistress healed him with magic and bandage. Then they began their rescue together.

Dog had better nose than human. Rabbit was found something interesting under a big rock. Issara burned it before froze it with her magic. Hot and cold temperature cracked the rock, so she could destroy is and saved a person beneath.

It must be the fate. She almost cried when she saw the man's face. Alistair was lying unconsciously in front of her, wounded but still alive.

"Ali, do you hear me?" With extreme carefulness, the Exotic Warden checked every inches of his body. His left arm was broke and there're several cut but there's nothing she couldn't handle. The worse was his low temperature. He might get hypothermia if he doesn't warm up soon.

There's a small cave not far from that spot. Issara made a makeshift litter to carry him to the place. Luckily, most of Thai people in her age had learned how to survive in the wilds from scout course, so she could manage to set temporally camp with meager resource.

When Alistair regained his consciousness, he saw someone was taking his armor off. His instinct commanded him to protect himself. He grabbed that body and rolled over, maneuvered the stranger to be laid beneath him.

"It's me, Ali!" The scream stopped him. "I'm Ice. Do you remember?"

"I never forget you." He purred in relief as he resting himself on hers. "I also recall horrible avalanche. Are we still alive?"

"Not for long if you still lay upon me like this. You're so heavy."

"Oh, sorry," The knight tried to get up, but his broken arm didn't allow that. Instead of sitting, he fell over.

Issara hurried help him to sit up. "Don't move so fast, you're wounded."

Her concern made him smile. Although they're in bad situation, she made everything better. "I'm lucky man for have you at my side."

"Save it until we leave this place." She smiled back. "Now, let's me help you."

"Can't you just use you magic?" The chantry-boy refused when she tried to undress him.

"Oh, come on. You don't have anything I'd never seen. No need to be shy. Besides, metal armor is cooling you down. In the place like this, losing the heat could kill you."

The memory of sweet nights made him blush. In the last week, she 'helped' him for three times. But he still felt embarrassed to naked in front of her. "The old habit dies hard." He murmured.

Knew too well about how prudish he was, so Issara didn't waste more time for argument. She freed Alistair from his armor and tunic before helped him dress the wounds. However, there's another problem.

"I have to bandage your arm but I already used the last one on Rabbit."

The hound barked.

"No, it can't be reuse." She refused.

Rabbit moaned, but didn't protest. He lay down and looked at the ex-templar concerning.

"I think I have a bandage in my pack." Alistair offered.

But Issara frowned. "Where it is? I didn't see your pack when I'd found you."

"Damn, I must lose it in between the avalanche. Most of my possessions are in there."

They had no much choice, Issara decided to use the last method. With completely red cheeks, she asked her lover in doubtful voice. "Um… can't you close your eyes for awhile?"

"Why?"

Those cheeks grew redder, "Just do it!"

All of their arguments always ended with her triumph, thus he better save his breath. Alistair did as she commanded. Anyway, the curiousness always got the best of him. When he heard strange sound, he peeked. And then, he suddenly regretted for do that.

Issara turned her back to him, so she didn't see his demeanor. Shirtless, she was untying a long bandage that enfolded around her chest. When they completely freed, cold wind made her nipples erect. The Exotic Warden let uninhibited sound fled from her mouth, which aroused another Warden more.

_Close your eyes, now!_ Alistair commanded himself. Alas, he failed. His eyes were exploring along her beautiful curves, smooth skin and…

The entire of her back had covered with graphic of running tiger and something looked like some kind of alphabets. Those lines were almost hidden in her honey skin, he might never notice it if he didn't stay near enough.

Issara turned back then caught him in middle of the act. She quickly grabbed the shirt and held it in front of her. "Alistair..!"

Like the boy who was chided because of his plank, he spluttered but still lingering his eyes on her twin mountain. "I-I apologize. I'm just curious…"

"Ok, now you knew what I have done. Can you close your eyes again? I have to redress." She asked in between a growl. Her cheeks were so red in angry and embarrassment.

Blushing, the ex-templar was calmed himself down as he closed his eyes. Alas, the image of her in half nude was clearer when he did that. Not for long, he could feel the warm of her body near his broken arm.

"You can look now." Her voice was a bit shaking and she didn't look at his face. No doubt, she felt ashamed for show herself in front of man.

However, the thought of her had no anything underneath her leather armor didn't reduce the pain between his groin. Alistair tried to distract himself from dirty desire by making some conversation. "I thought every woman wore something that looks like a strap. Morrigan must be the excepted but…"

"When I left Highever, I had only my equipments and the cloth I wore. In Ostagar, Wynne gave me some cloth but she had no unused smallclothes to share, so I have to… you knew it." It's not enjoyable object, she told him only because she trusts him.

"We're in Denerim before…"

After finished dressing his arm, Issara tried to use her healing magic but had no enough mana. So she applied health poultice on his wounds instead. Anyway, she tried to not pay too much attention on his firm muscle. "This and that happen, so I had neither time nor money for shopping."

One of her problems was him. Although she didn't mention it, the ex-templar still felt guilty. "I'm really sorry. All the time, you tried to do the right thing but I always gave you problems endlessly."

As always, she smiled. "It's nothing. Everybody can do wrong sometime. No matter how hard you've tried, anything beyond your predicable could happen. We're together; that is the most important thing for me. Besides, I prefer to fold my chest with sheet. I was able to move easier when I don't have… perhaps we ought to drop this subject."

"Agreed," He hurried said. "Um… can I ask you about… your back?"

That surprised her. "My back… does it mean you able to see my tattoo?"

"Tattoo..? But it doesn't look similar with Zevran's of Lynx's. Their tattoos were obvious, but yours looks like the faint marks. It's almost camouflaged among your skin."

"Well, in my youth, I was always harassed by spirit or demon. My grandpa tattooed ancient spell on me as the magical protection. But a girl with large tattoo doesn't the ordinary thing in my culture, so he used invisible ink. We call this technique: oil tattoo."

"What does your tattoo's meaning?"

Obviously, she preferred this subject. Issara spoke freely. "I never seen all of it but my grandpa told me it's running tiger, five rows and Buddha's virtue. The running tiger is for the brave, charismatic and virtue, five rows for protect me from any physical danger and Buddha's virtue is for protects me from the fiend. Each tattoo had contented the alphabets that were shorted from very long mantra, so it needs space. Well, you see. That is why my tattoo had to cover my entire back."

"I heard tattooing cause horrible pain. How could you endure it?" The ex-templar glared at her in awe.

"I was five when my grandpa tattooed the first alphabet on my back." Sighed, the memory didn't give her any pleasant. "It was damn hurt, but it's better than living with fear for my entire live. My childhood was destroyed by the fiends, which caused me Achluophobia (fear of the dark). You have no idea how terrible I felt when they frightened me for the first time. I was alone in my room; the light was turn off and… People around me almost think I was insane."

His left arm was injured, so Alistair held her with his better arm. He really wished he could banish those devil things from her life. "I'm sorry for brought this up."

"It's alright. I want to talk it out of my chest anyway."

Issara pushed herself off him only to help him put his tunic on. When she regained enough mana, she healed his wounds. Anyway, he still needed some rest, so she laid him back to the bedroll but he insisted to pull her down with him.

"It's warmer this way." Alistair explained before she asked.

Chuckle, Issara rested her face on his chest. Her finger played above his heart. "Do you remember that I promised to give you something as my keepsake?"

"How could I forget? Actually, I began to wonder if you forget it."

"I just give it to you but… too bad, it's not came out in the way I'd planned." For his surprise, she giggled like a school girl which was something she never had done.

The ex-templar glared at her curiously. "What? I can't remember."

Still blushing, the Exotic woman touched his bandaged arm softly. "This is it." He arched his brows, so she explained more. "In the old time, Thai people don't wear shirt, trousers or dress. We wrapped ourselves with sheet of fabrics. The sheet that wrapped women's bosoms was called 'sabai'. And sometime it was the perfect souvenir for the woman to give to her lover. I had no any sabai with me, but this bandage must be good enough."

"I can imagine it. But how could you people dress with only the sheet of fabric?"

It's hard to explain with words, so she took her stationeries from her rucksack to draw. Rough sketch showed him the exotic fashion of man and women. The women covered herself with two sheets, one on her bosoms and another on her lower body. However, female always had several styles in dressing. With two sheets, they were able to dress in many styles, some looked sweet but some looked agile. For the man, he had only a sheet for covered his modesty, the fabric wrapped around his midsection like exotic kind of trousers.

"He is shirtless, and he walked in the street like that?" Alistair shifted uncomforting.

"I believe I told you countless time that my motherland is in tropical climate for most of year. Even in my time, sometime the man took his shirt off and walked around with only in his pants, it does depend on circumstance though."

He nodded then changed the topic. "This is old fashion, so you people don't dress like this anymore?"

"Of course, we wore our nation's costume only in special occasion. Nowadays, we were wearing shirt, pants or dress. There're so many style for dressing. Lea must love to hear about it."

"Too bad," Alistair grinned playfully. "I wondered how you look like in this attire." He pointed at one of women in rough drawing. She wrapped her lower body with sheet as a dress, but her upper part was covering with nothing but a scarf that hanging from her shoulders.

"Pervert..!" Issara exclaimed bashfully.

Her red cheeks just so adorable, he couldn't help himself but peck both of them. "Thank you for the gift. I'll keep it with me forever."

"Um, perhaps I shall give you another. This one is…dirty."

Alistair stared at her meaningfully, and wolfish grin on his face also made her heart skipped a beat. "Only if you would allow me to take it off from yours..."

Issara blinked. Her knight seemed to have changed, must because side effect of the Gauntlet. However, she wasn't sure if it will be good or not. She needed more time to judge his new character. "I can't promise anything yet. We have to save our comrades and get out of here first. The sooner you recover, the sooner we'll able to continue the rescue, so just rest. I and Rabbit will take the watch."

But he still gripped on her. "You need rest too. Your mana doesn't regenerate as fast as other mages, and no better way to regain it but take some sleep."

"Someone have to keep watch and wake you up, Ali." No matter how appreciate she was in his arms, her duty always came first. "We also have to rescue our friends, so we can't rest for too long. And you'd known I can't die happily until I see all of them safe."

"All right, I get it. Just don't go anywhere without me." He said as he tried to get some sleep. Although she didn't mention it, he knew she pause her rescue because he was hurt. Just like she said, the sooner he recovered, the sooner he was useful for her.

Somehow, Issara kissed him. "Sweet dream, love,"

"I like the sound of that." Alistair replied then kissed her back.

…

Before the sunset, they had found all of their lost friends. Part of it was because they're searching for each other. However, they decided it would be the best to leave this mountain immediately. No one wanted to camp here, despite their exhaustion.

That night at the camp, Issara felt they need to celebrate their survivorship and everyone even Shale agreed. After the supper, Leliana encouraged the Exotic Warden to sing something.

Bashfully, Issara looked at everyone that was around the fire. "I don't think that is the good idea…"

"Come on, your voice is amazing. And you must know the song that beyond my knowledge, I want to hear something new." The bard cheered.

Alistair squeezed her hand. "I still remember the last time you sang. It's a wonderful song. Could you sing it again?"

Somehow, his smile reminded her of another song, which might be able to describe her feeling when she had found him alive. "I have another song in my mind. But… if it doesn't sound good, you can tell me to stop anytime."

Everyone accepted, and then she started to sing. All the time, her eyes never leave her lover's face.

_Here we are, safe at last  
We can breathe a sigh, seems the storm has passed  
Through it all, no one knew,  
That all the tears in heaven, would bring me back to you  
No one I know, imagined we would make it  
But it only matters that we both believe_

_You and me, we're a miracle; meant to be  
And nothing can change it  
Mountains move and oceans part  
When they are standing in our way  
You and me, we're a miracle  
Angels stand watching over  
And heaven shines upon us, everyday_

_Every time, I felt near defeat  
You were there for me  
By my side completely  
You give me strength  
you set me free  
Its just because of you  
I'm all that I can be  
When I'm with you, the world is ours to reach for  
Together there is nothing we can't do_

_The chance was so unlikely  
That we would ever win  
Two stars among the heavens  
Destiny brought you to me_

_You and me, We're a miracle  
You and me, We're a miracle  
Miracle_1

Millar whistled on the love birds. She knew… everyone there knew how much Alistair and Issara loved each other. And they knew that song was for him only. Anyway, Wynne stared at the Exotic Warden in displease which made Issara felt uncomfortable.

"I… think I should retire for the night." Issara said. "You all can continue or… whatever. See you tomorrow." With last squeeze on the ex-templar's hand, she left the fire.

Although she knew how bashful Alistair was, she still had hope if he might follow her to her tent. So she slowed her pace down as her ears listening to her comrades were joking to each other. The old mage chided Zevran for his risqué comment about her bosoms as Millar, Lynx and Leliana giggling. Shale and Rabbit were looking at the party curiously. Morrigan was in her own tent that always far away from the other. And Sten… just be Sten.

Look back, Issara smiled to that image. Yes, it's must be miracle that they still alive. Despite maddening problems they have face and would face, she'd known she won't alone.

She didn't realize how long she stood there until playful voice touched her cheek. Her knight held her tight and lifted her to his level. "Are you spying on your companions?"

"Nope, I just have been thinking about something." As always, she answered playfully.

"I hope you thought about me."

"What are you going to do if I'm not?" With wicked grin, Issara tangled her arms around his neck, willingly crushed her upper body to his.

He didn't in armor so the ex-templar was able to feel her… charm. He growled in his chest as he kissed her possessively. "I love you, Ice."

"I knew, and I love you too." And she had to admit, she wanted him so bad. The thought of she almost lose him today hurt her desperately, she wanted to be with him when they still have chance.

Suddenly, his expression changed. He looked nervous, sweating. "I… damn, it sound better in my head. I don't know how to ask you this… I tried to think but… every time I around you, I can't think straight. My head is probably going to explode."

"That is… so sweet." His bashful was always endearing for her. In fact, she might never fall for him if he is a lecherous idiot. Instead of jump to her, he waited patiently, slowly invaded her heart and occupied all of it single-handed before her was able to realize.

"When I'm with you, all the death and horror just disappear. You made everything right, I feel the world could be better if you still beside me. No one has ever made me feel like this before. I…" More nervous, he gulped as his eyes were locking at hers. "I want to spend the night with you, here, in camp."

Thrilling, Issara couldn't take her eyes off him. "Are you sure?"

"I wanted to wait for perfect time, perfect place but… What that happened today taught me. In between these madness, tragedies and death, either of us can die at anytime. Who knew? Perhaps our time is shorter than we had ever expected. I don't want to go through life never knowing what it was like to be with the one I love."

"But…" It's hard to breathe. Issara felt like something stamped on her chest. "This body… isn't mine. I can't use her for my pleasure. What if her comeback and…"

"What if that day never come? We… I'll deal with her if that happen. If I could have the night with you, I don't care if I have to marry Lillian afterward."

This must be the most selfish thing she had ever done. She use Lillian's body for her own sake and also seal Alistair's heart with her even she had known they wasn't meant to be. Wynne must want to flog her for this. Strange, she didn't care as much as she thought.

"If you insist…" She smiled and held his hand. "Let's go to my tent."

* * *

1 From the song "We're a miracle" by Christina Aguilera,


	33. Down to earth

This chapter is supposed to be romance, but I really couldn't help myself. They must want to kill me for this.

/me grinning devilishly

* * *

**Down to earth**

* * *

Neither of them knew where it started or end. Their limbs tangled together as their tongues fought in dominate. Their lips were collided together, rough with hunger of physical needs and more. Alistair was hovering above his lover, heaved with lust and love for her. Although he wanted to gentle, her charm was too much for his self-control. He combed his fingers among her soft hair roughly in order to pull her closer. Another hand was skimming along her curves. Fondle her erect nipple through cotton tunic, which made her moaned into his mouth.

Issara growled desperately in desire to touch more of his flesh. She tugged his tunic roughly, demanding. Still pinned her on the bedroll, he moved to his knees and took his tunic off. The dim light inside small tent illuminated his tan skin, highlighted marvelous lines of manly muscle which took her breath away.

A bit embarrassed, but the sight of her ogling at him breathlessly made him grinned. "Like what you see?"

Two can play this game. She returned the favor by took her tunic over her head, she was going to take undershirt off while the canvas flapped open.

"Issara, get up. We're under attack!" Millar stood in front of the entrance. Her jaws hanged open as she saw the lovers together.

Duty always came first. The Exotic Warden hurried redress and grabbed her weapons, despite her embarrassment. For the ex-templar, he ran to his tent for his sword and shield. There's no enough time to don armor, a darkspawn with large axe hurled to him before he could grabbed his shield.

The Genlock stopped in its way, and then fell with a bolt on its neck. Issara always got his back.

Still shirtless but that didn't important. He fought side by side with his lover as a couple who trust each other with heart. And… well, unfortunately for the taint creatures, they're desperate raging. The sneaky rogue Genlock that tried to stab her back also raised her frustration levels were going sky-high. Even the perky archdemon had no chance against her in this state.

No doubt, just a small group of taint creatures couldn't stand against the die-hard Grey Wardens and company. The raid ended when the last darkspawn has been slain. Most of the party wounded but there's nothing beyond Wynne's healing ability.

However, Issara couldn't help but chuckled while everyone was grumbling. Instead of fear, her friends seemed to annoy with the midnight assault. No one show sign of fear or want to leave. No matter what would happen, they will follow her as the comrades and family until the end.

"Hey, look what I'd found…" Lynx showed a pair of fine leather gloves to the leader. But her voice trailed off as she saw tear on Issara's cheeks. "Are you all right, lethallan?"

"I… oh," She didn't realize that she was crying or what cause it. Anyway, she didn't want to make her surrogate little sister concern. "I'm ok. It's just because sweat seeped into my eyes. Perhaps I ought to clean myself."

The wild elf doesn't that naïve, she knew something went wrong. "Perhaps you ought to tell Wynne. Your face is… pale. Are you sure you all right? Those Genlocks used poison daggers, only a scratch could..."

Gently, the Exotic Warden cut her off. "I'm fine, Lynx. But if it will make you happy, I'll ask Wynne to check my condition. Don't be worry."

Younger woman pouted, which made Issara smile softly in appreciate of her concern. How good it might be if her real sister has ever cared for her like this?

"What about you? Don't you are going to show me something?"

Changing the topic changed the ranger's mood. She showed a pair of gloves eagerly, almost like when Rabbit presented anything it had found to its mistress. "I'd found it in darkspawn's corpse. I hate to think about how it ended up with this creature, but this is a really good pair of Dalish gloves."

"Dalish gloves…? Perhaps you ought to keep it."

Lynx shook her head. "I have better pair. Besides, they're too big for my hands."

"Hum… Why don't you give it to Zev? He told me he is half-Dalish and his mother used to have a pair of Dalish gloves. That assassin never admit, but I think he miss her. This will be good gift for him." Issara suggested.

Somehow, the elf felt uneasy. In between their journey, she had found Zevran was attractive but it's too soon to make new relationship with anyone. Even the death took Tamlen from her, the bound between them still remain. "I don't want to. He made me feel… uncomfortable."

Issara's smile faded. She became overprotective sister just in a blink of the eyes. "Have he ever tried anything funny on you? Just tell me and I'll feed him to the darkspawn."

"No, he hadn't. But I knew what he wants. Every man wants to go inside women's cunt."

Damn straight, the Exotic Warden blushed fiercely at the elf's choice of word. At first, she was going to protest but she couldn't deny the truth that even shy Alistair wanted to have sex. Although he used sweet words, the meaning still be the same.

"It's probably true, but as long as they hadn't tried anything unappreciated, I had no reason to kill them."

Lynx smiled knowingly. "You're lucky. He is a good man and also handsome. Sometime, he reminds me of Tamlen. But I hope you both will have better fate than us."

Everybody wants to have a good life. Issara really wished those words will be true but she had to accept the truth. "I…"

Anyway, the wild elf didn't listen. Her eyes glared over the Exotic Warden's shoulder to someone. "I better go."

Something told her that was Alistair. So Issara turned to him with lovely smile, but her knight didn't in the mood. He looked at her with so serious expression. "We need to talk."

_Nothing good ever starts with that phrase_. She thought bitterly. "What it is?"

"This raid, it must be as Duncan once told me. We can sense them, they can sense us. Our journey would be more dangerous, we must do something."

"We need to be more careful." That's all she could think when her frustration levels were going to launch.

"We're already careful but it isn't enough…"

"What else I should do?" Furious, she cut him off. "I'm not Lillian. I can't see the future and I don't know what I should do. If you have better plan in mind, please tell me. Don't be such a loser who complain everything but do nothing. I need your help as well."

That wasn't anything he expected. The ex-templar was dumbfounded as he saw Issara cried.

_Maker… I am such an idiot._

She wanted to shout, hit him or anything. Damn her sense of loyalty, she couldn't do that especially in front of everyone because it will make him look bad. There's no any good wife would dishonor her husband like that.

_He isn't your husband._ Her common sense warned.

_It doesn't matter. Although we hadn't married nor have sex, my heart already belongs to him._ She protested.

Anyway, when he didn't answer and she had no mood to make more argument, she just left to her tent. Rabbit went with her, which meant Alistair had to sleep alone tonight.

…

She couldn't sleep, not while the exciting of what they almost done still lingering on her skin. Thrashing around in the tent for an hour or so, Issara abandoned her wish to sleep eventually.

However, it was too early to leave warm tent. Then she summoned some will o' wisp for some light. The decryption of Lillian's journal has been delayed for a bit too long, better do it when she had chance.

She has already decrypted half of the journal. All she has learned from those pages sound like another version of Issara's journey. It was the rough description of Millar's journey as the leader of her extraordinary band. Most of them were totally different from her experience, especially in the first chapter.

In Lillian story, Duncan never goes to Highever in the night of despair. She saw herself has been raped and caged as Howe's pet after the death of her parent. But she managed to save her last dignity by kill him when she has chance. So sad, she also killed herself because she couldn't stand the feeling of being touch by a man she hated most.

Anyhow, Lillian's story sounded unfinished. Lady Cousland wrote about her 'solution' as she tried to change her fate in the last line of her story. Unfortunately, this thing wasn't novel. Each text was composed inconsequently. So, Issara had to decrypt every page in the journal. This wasn't easy task while she still had many businesses to attend.

The latest page was finally decrypted in ten minute. Somehow, the Exotic Warden had to reread it over and over. She couldn't believe it. In this page, Lillian described her solution that might able to change her fate. She contacted Flemeth through the Fade and…

"Fuck you, Lillian." Issara swore. She was utterly mad.

Rabbit whined in curiousness. His round black eyes calmed his mistress down a bit.

"I'm sorry, Boy. But your former mistress is a bitch. She killed so many people for saving her ass. Well, it isn't the bad thing if she wanted to survive but… there's must be some better way for her and all of those poor people." the Exotic Warden felt nauseate, just thinking about it made her ill. "Back to Highever, every time I mentioned about that 'accident', no one ever gave me the detail. Now I knew why."

In the official story, people only knew that there's a murder in the castle. Next morning the servant found the Teyrn's daughter was coma on her bed. No one ever suspect if the both events had connection even the unconscious woman has found covering in her own blood.

A paper was burned in Issara's flame. For the Couslands' sake, she wouldn't let anyone know that Lady Lillian cooked the blood magic ritual by sacrificed seven of nobles who came to Highever for Teyrna's salon. Her bloody avatar poisoned those people almost randomly. Seven woman died after drank special wine. Their soul gave Lillian power to do something horrible. Unfortunately, instead of became the abomination, something went wrong which cause her consciousness to has been disappeared. Lillian's body was out of kilter till Issara showed up.

_No one ever knew the true color of that bitch._

However, the content in that chapter didn't tell her about what was the ritual for and the Exotic Warden had no enough information to presume anything. Only thing she could do was trying to decrypt more of journal.

Five more pages have been decrypted before sunrise but she found nothing important. Those pages contented nonsense poems and inconsequent article of Lillian's dramatic self-loathing.

_What a waste of time._

Outside, someone was starting another day. Issara packed her things and join them. She still had more tasks to attend, the journal always able to wait.

…

"We have to divide here, see you again at Redcliffe." Issara spoke to Millar.

To speed up their works, the Elven Warden would bring the ashes to Redcliffe while The Exotic Warden went to Orzammar for Dwarven army. The group had to split up. Alistair, Wynne, Lynx and Shale followed Issara as the rest joint Millar's trip.

"Perhaps you ought to bring Morrigan and Sten with you. Orzammar wouldn't be an easy task, thus you need more musclemen than me." Millar offered. Same as every Grey Wardens were, she had known about Dwarven kingdom and Deep Roads. Their business might never involve with that god-forsaken tunnel but anything could happen among the Blight. She really concerned about her hot-head friend.

"I don't think so." Issara refused. "The Blight is threatening the south, so anything could happen to you on the road. Besides, you're carrying the sacred ashes. Some people might want to take it from you. We both are in equal risk. But I do trust that you will finish the quest."

She glazed at the old man behind her friend. Brother Genitivi found his way to them just in time before they take leave in the morning and annoyed them immediately. The first thing he asked when he saw Issara's face was about the ashes, almost ignore the problem he caused last time. Alistair had to stop her from giving the old scholar some manner lesson.

Anyway, he didn't worth for her thought, so Issara ignored him. "Be well, my friend. I hope you have a safe trip."

The group left eventually. Brother Genitivi followed them like a hopeless dog. But Bodahn and Sandal still followed the Exotic Warden's group.

"I thought you would follow Millar. Her way to Redcliffe must safer than mine." Issara asked the good merchant.

The dwarf grinned so wide. "You're going to visit Orzammar, right? I can't go back to that city but the thought of go near it still make me feel comforting."

"You can't go back… Why?"

Smile faded from his face. Bodahn always felt uneasy when they talk about his past. "If any dwarfs left the underground, they would be abandoned by the stone. Orzammar wouldn't welcome them anymore."

"That is awful! I'm sorry, Bodahn." She could understand that. Issara was forced to leave her homeland as well.

"You're too kind, dear lady. But it's not so bad, the mountain still welcome us. There're many surface dwarves on the Frostback Mountains and other place. And I still have the connection within the city. We weren't exactly lost from our kinfolks. They never loathe our gold, anyhow."

Issara smiled. The cutest thing about these short people is how naïve they were. They never pretend to be something they didn't be. If they're greedy or honest, you'll know it. This kind of people is easier to cope than unreliable human.

By the way, she had met only a few of dwarves in her journey. The underground city must have more surprise waiting for her.

Satisfied by the answer, the Exotic Warden went back to her group. She was in leader's position as usual though something changed. The person who walked beside her wasn't Alistair. Now, the ex-templar was walking in the rear with Shale. They're talking about something that displeased the golem.

He had no need to cover the rear while Shale in their group and he knew it. If she was right, he just avoiding her. Perhaps some time alone last night helped him regain his sense and now he no longer needed her in that way.

That thought hurt her so badly, but it better than knew it after the deed is done. She doesn't care if they might break up afterward, as long as he still are her company. Her love wasn't tennis: it doesn't have to be reciprocated.

She sighed and speeded up her pace. They still had a day on the road to Orzammar.

…

Just like Millar worried, Orzammar wasn't the easy task. On the way to atop of Frostback Mountains they found a group of bounty hunters those surely sent by Loghain. With some strange ire, Issara turned to tiger and killed most of them as her companions took care of the rest of hunter group.

Not for long after that, they also found the man who claimed himself as 'king Loghain's emissary' and his bodyguards. They're arguing with the Orzammar's gatekeeper who didn't let them enter the city.

The gatekeeper didn't allow anyone pass the gate because some 'political' problem, but the treaties changed his mind. He allowed the Grey Wardens and companions to stone kingdom. Alas, the emissary didn't know how to shut his mouth. He claimed the Grey Wardens were the treachery against Ferelden and poor king Cailan. More than that, he still kept refer his boss as King Loghain, which only made Issara angrier. Before anyone knew it, small foot in combat boot stroked at the emissary's chin straightaway. In one fluid movement, she retrieved her foot and kicked the armored bodyguard that stood beside the emissary. The fighter rolled undignified down the stone ladders as the Exotic cut the mage bodyguard's throat with combat knife.

No need to command, Lynx killed another bodyguard while Alistair took down the still dizzy fighter. The gatekeeper clapped his hands in impression.

"I don't care about human's politic, but thank for get rid of that idiot. He bothered me for week."

"Glad to help. But why don't you let him pass?"

"He said his king had the message to our king. But we have… terrible political problem right now. If isn't because of the treaties, I won't allow you to the city either. Anyway, I don't think you will got the army you require," The short guy answered seriously.

Alas, those words didn't clear anything. Issara just hope she could gather more information in Orzammar.

"I only want to stop the Blight. Your politics will be good for nothing if we all die." She said then walked through the gate.

…

Just like Mr. Holmes said: tavern is a good place for gather some 'inside' information because alcohol is always good in decrease people's vigilance. After a dozen of ale she treated them, Issara got enough 'unofficial' history of Orzammar from a drunken lord and other guests of Tapster's Tavern.

True be told, she didn't want to intrude the dwarven's business but they left her no choice. Orzammar's army will do nothing against the Blight unless their king orders them. The problem is: the good old king just died recently, and two candidates were busying wrack their kingdom for the throne.

"So," Lynx asked from another side of dinner table. "Are we going to help the assembly choose their king?"

"I afraid we are. The Blight is greater than human and elves could handle, we need every help we can get." Issara played with fork in empty plate. The din in Tapster's Tavern was the best meal she ate since she left Highever.

"But what side we will support?" Wynne wondered.

"Prince Bhelen Aeducan sound like a stronger candidate. He had the good vision that Orzammar need change. His second told me about his policy. Bhelen want to change the caste system, but it won't be easy. So he needs power to control everything. I understand why he killed his brother and blamed it on his sister. But I can't stand the thought of we support a man who did assassinate his own father. In my religion, patricide was one of five worst sin. We can't trust anyone who did that." Issara analyzed.

"Does that mean we will support lord Harrowmont?" Alistair questioned.

"People said he is a good man, but that doesn't mean he could be a good king… Ali, do you know what make a good king?"

His honey-brown eyes grew wider in curious. Why did she ask him this? "I don't know… the power, maybe."

"You're right, but not exactly right." Issara rested her back to a chair, thinking about what she had learned from real life. "The good king needs two things. One is power, another is goodness. The leader who has the power but lack of goodness would be nothing but tyrant. On the contrary, no one could rule without power. Harrowmont have the goodness but lack of power, he can't be a good king either. Besides, his Lieutenant told me that he doesn't have much thought about being king. He just follow king Endrin's last request that he will never let Bhelen take the throne."

"But we need to take side." Wynne warned.

"I knew. That is why I have seriously headache. Blame my meddlesomeness, but I can't just take any side and leave these people to suffer from my choice."

"You're such a good woman, Issara." The ranger said it without any innuendo, but it sounded like one.

Groan, the Exotic Warden almost knocked her forehead with the table. "I think I need some meditation, or at least some sleep. Perhaps I will able to find some answer tomorrow if my mind is calmer. Goodnight to you all." And then she left the dinner table.

They already rented the rooms for night. The most of party has a room except Shale who unable to pass the tavern's door. All she had to do was walk to the upstairs and take some rest. Anyway, someone scooped her staggering body up.

There's only human male in this city right now, so Issara knew who her captor was without look his face. She pouted annoying to a man.

"Ali…" She asked, not sure what he wanted.

"Shush, you're tired. I'll take you to the room." The ex-templar carried her carefully as if she made of glass. By the way, Issara arched her brows curiously as he walked to his room.

"I really need rest, Ali. We walked all day without any rest since this morning, and also had to run around this city because of fucking politics. I don't know what will kill me first between my head and my feet."

His cheeks turned to her favorite shade of pink. "I don't mean to… I just thought you need some… ministration."

"And what you have in mind?"

She didn't have to ask. When Alistair carried her into his room, she smelled lovely aroma of rose. The bed looked promising with soft mattress and pillows. The ex-templar putted her down on the floor. He hesitated and looked at her face as asking for approval. When she nodded, then he began to take her weapons and garments off.

His hands slowly unbuttoned her sleeveless shirt. More buttons he freed, more red color on her cheeks. Issara shuddered a little when cotton fabric fell from her upper body, left only strip of bandage around her chest. However, her belt was exotic for him. It took some time before he could take it off. Alistair involuntary cheered in his little victory, which made his lover chuckle.

But he stopped before the leather trousers slide off its position. With some reason, he knew she didn't ready for next step of their relationship. Instead, he covered her with a towel then carried her to another part of room. Behind the wooden screen, a stone bathtub and warm water was waiting.

"You better take a bath. I'll… wait out there. Just call me when you finish, all right?" The shy Warden offered without looking at her.

"Ok," She replied with shy smile. "But… can I have something to wear after the bath?"

"Oh… I forgot to take your things from the room you share with Wynne and Lynx. But don't worry, I'll fetch it." Alistair answered eagerly and left the room almost too fast.

Issara couldn't help but chuckle. Anyway, her chain of thought was interrupted by crying muscles. She stripped before relieved herself in warm bath. The water was smell good, soothing and relaxing.

About ten minute later, the Exotic Warden finished bathing but her lover still didn't return. So she has to wear one of Alistair's shirts as temporally nightgown. She waited for him until the slumber took her to oblivion of sleep.

…

Alistair liked Wynne, a lot. She was like the mother he'd never known. Too bad, she also was insufferable sometime. The old mage gave him a very long and cruel lecture about relationship between him and Issara. Although those words sounded reasonable, he disagreed… well, most of it anyway.

There's no future for them, he knew it. At the end of this mess, Issara wouldn't be with him, one way or another. Life was hard. He wanted to take his time with woman he love when they still had the chance.

Anyhow, he didn't ignore Wynne or Fergus. What they spoke gave him some idea. Half of him did eager to do that but half of his mind still unsure. Perhaps he had to talk with his lover first.

The ex-templar went back to his room with Issara's rucksack. He didn't surprise to see she was already sleeping. His little freak looked so peaceful when she slept, he really didn't want to interrupt so he did carefully climb to bed. Gathered slander form to his arms then slowly followed her to the Fade.


	34. Bound to you

Happy new year, everyone. I wish you all have a good year.

Finally, adult content ahead, don't read if you don't like.

* * *

**Bound to you**

* * *

_Sweet love, sweet love_

_Trapped in your love_

_I've opened up, unsure I can trust_

_My heart and I were buried in dust_

_Free me, free us_

_You're all I need when I'm holding you tight_

_If you walk away I will suffer tonight_

_I found a man I can trust_

_And boy, I believe in us_

_I am terrified to love for the first time_

_Can you see that I'm bound in chains?_

_I've finally found my way_

_I am bound to you_

_(Bound to you; Christina Aguilera.)_

…

At last, morality won. Issara decided to help Harrowmont.

After had earned the lord's trust by fought in fighting arena that called 'the Proving', the Grey Warden has to deal with the Carta: an illegal organization of thief and whatnot. It wasn't the easy task. Jarvia and her minions weren't shoddy thugs. Issara ran out of mana, stamina and patience after the deed has done. Then she groaned impatiently when dwarven lord has another task for them.

Bhelen rushed the Assembly's vote for choosing the king. They have no enough time for lobby the nobles, so they needed another option. Harrowmont wanted the vote of Paragon: the elite of the dwarven culture. The only Paragon who (probably) still alive was Branka. Unfortunately, she took her entire House to the Deep Roads since two years ago and still didn't comeback. No one heard her news ever since.

The Deep Roads are an extensive network of underground roads that once belonged to the dwarven kingdom. But after they fell to the darkspawn during the First Blight, the entrances all sealed. Along the network of passages were abandoned thaigs, ancient knowledge and taint creatures. People with the right mind stay away from them. There're only two kinds of people those willingly walk into the endless pit for death. One was the Legion of The Dead: clan of dwarves, who fought the darkspawn till death for their redemption and Grey Wardens those fought for honorable death before the taint corrupted them.

Neither Issara nor Alistair heard the calling, so they had no interest in entering the Deep Roads. She might refuse Harrmont if she had any choice.

However, she has to accept it. The Exotic Warden bargained with the dwarven lord that he would help repair the party's gears and fill them the necessary stuffs. Harromont accepted her request easily but still needed a day for fulfill it. So, the Grey Wardens and co has some time to spend.

The ladies (include Shale) went to merchant quarter for did some shopping but only man in the group absented. He didn't come back until Issara decided to search for him.

She found him again in front of jewelry shop. Alistair was looking at something faraway, lost in his thought. He didn't notice even the Exotic Warden waved her hands near his face. Then she stood in her tip-toe to nip his ear.

It's work. The ex-templar exclaimed in shock, completely lose his guard. "Ice, where did you come from?"

"I came from far-faraway land in searching of my knight. Did you see any handsome, brave and strong man with shining armor around here?" She bantered.

In other circumstance, he would banter her back. But he was serious about something which got rid of his humor completely.

"Ice, I just helped Brother Burkel open the Chantry in Orzammar."

Issara blinked. "Who is Brother Burkel?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. He is a dwarf, and also a priest. He wanted to open the Chantry in Orzammar but the Shaperate didn't allow it. So I gave him a hand by persuaded that old man. Now the dwarven have they own Chantry."

"Well, that is good thing but why you look… disturb?"

His cheeks were glowing neon red. However, he got over it then sat down on one knee in front of the Exotic Warden. "Issara, I want to ask you something. Please give me honest answer."

_This is going to be ridiculous._ She thought, but still replied. "I swear to the triple great things of my religion that I'll always be true to you. Now get up. People are looking."

But he didn't follow her request. Still was kneeling, he took a small box from his pack and presented to her. Inside the red box was a simple golden ring. "Issara, I knew this doesn't sound romantic but… I want you to be my wife. Will you marry me?"

Lynx who was standing behind the Exotic Warden cried out and clapped her hands, while Wynne frowned. For Shale… the golem just cocked its head.

Issara was looking at him in shock. Her jaws were hanging open, speechless. She couldn't say anything until Alistair requested. "Say something, love. Kneeling in this armor is a bit… uncomfortable."

She knew he mean it and couldn't stop chuckled. But instead of cheerful smile, she frowned. "Are you sure about this, Ali? You knew I… we can't share our life together."

"I knew it. But I told you, I don't know how long the time we have left, but I want to be with you… with body and soul, in any way we're able when we still have the chance…"

With quivering voice, she smiled. "I do."

Alistair cheered loudly. He totally forgot everything but his betrothed. With one fluid movement, he scooped a slander body into his arms, kissing her with all passion. When they has to stop for breathe, he still stared at her dreamily. "Brother Burkel could arrange the wedding for us. And I want to marry you today."

"Today..!" Issara exclaimed nervously. "But I don't have anything to wear. I can't just marry you in this armor. It's dirty with blood and whatnot. Damn, I'm looking like a crap."

"I don't think those merchants will have human-size dress for sell." The elf interjected. "If you want one, I afraid you have to delay the wedding."

She was going to marry with the man she loved, so she wanted to be pretty or at least looked feminine. However, on the second thought, they were going to enter the Deep Roads tomorrow. What if they couldn't come back?

"I… at least I ought to clean myself. Just give me ten minute and I'll be ready."

"Yes, we can do that." the groom-to-be smiled so bright. "I think I'll do some clean up too. Let's go to the inn."

Hand in hand, the lovers went to the tavern for preparing themselves. The flower of love unable to bloom forever, but they would cherish all they could spend.

Wynne still frowned, but loaned the Exotic Warden her robe. Lynx helped Issara set her short hair as best as she able.

She walked into the brand-new Chantry. Inside, Alistair was waiting in front of the altar. He looked charmer than usual in Grey Warden commander's massive armor. Brilliant smile was dancing on his face as he saw his bride. This was a meager wedding indeed, but everything perfect because of a man who was going to be her husband. He was the man she did trust with all her heart and soul.

"Issara, I-I never had thought if I'm good enough for anyone, till I found you." Alistair said his own vow. "You had changed me. You fill my lonely life with your smile, your hope and your love. In the darkness, you are the light that gave me strength to fight for greatest good. Although we're unable to live happily ever after, I'll cherish every moment of us together. My heart will belong to you, no matter what… Can't say I'll be the best husband ever, but I'll always be by your side… as long as we are able."

That was enough, she never had asked for anything more. Tear of happiness shed as she spoke.

"In ordinary circumstance, we will never meet or even know about each other existence, but fate brought us together. The love you give me is the greatest gift of all, a miracle, no matter how brief it might be. I swear to you, Alistair Theirin. From this moment on, through weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow, for better, for worse, I will love you with every beat of my heart."

So beautiful and sweet, the newlywed kissed to seal the promise. In the first Chantry of the Dwarven kingdom, two souls bound together with love.

Lynx cried as she held Shale in lovely bear hug. The wild elf has been met this woman just within a week, but she loved Issara as her sister. She was so glad to see them happy.

The golem observed Lynx's action curiously before turned to Wynne. "Doesn't the old mage happy for their union?"

Still frowning, Wynne said angrily. "I happy for them, but…" She sighed. "Perhaps I ought to stop thinking for them. By all mean, they're hardly the children, exactly not my children."

The newlywed walked to them, still holding hands. Their smiles faded quickly when they saw the old mage's expression.

"What's wrong, Wynne?" Issara asked sheepishly. Her eyes were wide and innocent.

_No, I won't fall for that charm again._ Wynne tried to stand her ground. These kids had to know how disapprove she was. "None of your concern,"

The Grey Warden exchanged their glare. They knew what was in the grey haired mage's mind. Lady Warden smiled and took those old hands in hers. "In my tradition, the parent of newlywed would give their children the blessing and guidance for their wedlock. But Alistair's and my parent all long gone. Could you honor us by be our relative elder and give us the blessing?"

All temper gone, the spirit healer defeated again. Wynne blessed her favorite Grey Wardens with shivery voice. "You both already knew this wedlock couldn't be last. I hope you will cherish every moment you share. Savor your time with love and caring. Well, perhaps I don't have to tell you that. Just... don't forget your duty."

Issara held her instructor as thank, and Wynne kissed the crown of her head. The old mage really loved these two.

Next from the mage, Lynx held her surrogate sister and brother-in-law. "Congratulation, I hope you will be happy. There're so many tragedies during this Blight, but your love remind me of hope. Even among the darkness, something good still exist. This is something the bard will love to hear."

"Thank you, Lynx. This means so much to me." When Issara looked through the wild elf's eyes, she saw her little sister. Oh, how she miss that girl.

Shale squirmed uneasily. The golem didn't make any smart comment but the Exotic Warden knew exactly what's it had in mind. So she turned to confusing golem.

"Thank to you too, Shale. You always helped us, the great deal. Thank you very much."

If she didn't imagine it, she thought the animated rock was blushing. "Don't mention it. I knew how useful I am."

Issara didn't want to push Shale, thus she just smiled and nodded. The golem and the ex-templar have some banter before they left the Chantry.

Somehow, lord Harrowmont knew their good news and then set up the feast for them in his house. The generous lord also gave them a room for wedding night. Still holding hands, the newlywed didn't leave each other's side until the bride thought it was the time for retired of the night.

But she insisted her groom to stay in the feast for a little while longer. She needed some time for 'prepare' herself for him. Anyway, the promise she whispered into his ear before left made it hard for Alistair to stay focus at anything but his lovely bride.

An hour has passed, felt like eternity for him. Alistair said goodnight to everyone and left dinner room as fast as he able without running.

His bride opened the bedchamber's door for him. Sheepish smile made his stomach growled in another kind of appetite. The sight of her flawless body that donned only his shirt didn't help anything.

"I'm a lucky man." He purred.

Issara pouted. "What's that suppose to mean?"

Alistair scooped her into his arms then kissed her passionately. "You're so beautiful. I still can't believe you're mine."

To his surprise, her eyes were twinkling with mischief as she tugged his collar to opposite direction of the bed. "Not so fast, Romeo, you must take a bath first."

Grinning, the groom pretended arguing as he nipping her earlobe. "Can't it wait?"

"Ali," She exclaimed, but there's hint of smile on her face. "You're stinking of ale. Take the bath or sleep outside, this is final!"

"We just married this afternoon and you became fussy wife already?"

_Alert! She is narrowing her eyes. She is going to be pissed, and I'll be doom!_

"Where's the tub?" Alistair asked with his acumen.

Satisfied smile crept to her full lips. Issara's temper went back to normal and Alistair was saved. "Just behind that screen, the water still warm and I prepare everything for you."

It wasn't so bad, though. Because he knew she would reward him nicely afterward.

Within world's record, he hurried bathed and went back to his wife. The bathrobe she prepared for him couldn't conceal the excitement around his groin. From the bed she was sitting, Issara giggled as she saw a bulge underneath.

However, when the ex-templar crawled to the bed, they both paused, not so sure what to do next. None of them had the idea of married night. Well, they couldn't just jump to each other and fuck, right?

A moment of awkward silent passed, Issara made the first move. She tried to calm her heart as she spoke. "I-I have to… tell you something… before we… start."

_She's sputtering! She… the most confident female he'd ever met was sputtering like a frightening girl! This must be terrified for her._

"You can tell me anything. Nothing can change my love for you, Ice." To confirm his word, he kissed her forehead which made her giggled.

"No-no-no, Mr. Goody to boot, it isn't anything bad. I just…"

Slowly, she raised her palms together then placed them on his chest, just above his heart. Although Alistair didn't know the meaning behind that gesture, the instinct told him to embrace her within his arms and never let go.

"I knew it might sound… prudish." Her giggle rang like the bell. "But I just want to tell you. I… submit myself to you. My heart, my love and everything I have, now belonged to you. I am at your mercy, my love."

Man is man. Even the shy man like Alistair loved to conquer. He loved the idea of make her his and only his. The idea came to life as he began to kiss her, peppering and nibbling trailed down from the crown of her head to sensitive flesh beneath her jaws.

She moaned, tried to unbutton her shirt but the large hands stopped her. "No, this is my present."

Her chuckle sounded dry and husky as he slowly unwrap his prize. Somehow, she still worried if her nakedness doesn't attractive as she believe. Her skin shade almost looked like honey-cream and there's no freckle. Small areas on the peak of her twin lotuses were dark, not pink like Leliana's or Morrigan's (she did peek at them in between the bath…well, not exactly. It doesn't like they ever hid it anyway). She also had several scars here and there, left alone very large tattoo on her back. What if he doesn't like it?

An unintelligible sound fell from Issara's lips as the shirt sliding off her, exposed the creamy skin to his hungry eyes. She couldn't help but looked at him, anticipated his reaction.

"Maker's breath, you're… so beautiful." Alistair purred dreamily. He used to read a forbidden book that calls 'the art of passionate love', but even the vivid illustrates couldn't compare with a goddess in front of him.

Her breasts were large, full and round. Down, her belly was flat, a bit muscular but still looked feminine. Her hip was firm and wide but still suit two flawless long legs. She blushed and tried to cover herself as his eyes were roaming downward.

Alistair's hands reached out and grabbed her arms, "Don't, I want to look at you. I-I dreamed about this for so long."

Issara almost ask him how she look like if compare with Lillian, but that wasn't make any good, so she just shut her mouth and smiled.

His hands reached her bosoms, but stopped in half way. "May I?"

This was why she loved him. "It's yours, remember?"

No need for more encouragement, he fondled creamy lotus as if they make of glass before kneaded the darker area. Issara inhaled sharply as he did so. This kind of touching was new for her. No one ever touched her like this. Despite his inexperience, Alistair did well in loosen her stress.

From her expression, he thought she like it. Felt braver, he downed to those and licked, which made his bride squeaked loudly. Her hands grabbed on bedcover as if it was only thing that prevent her from floating away. Still looking and her, Alistair took one of pert nipples into his mouth, sucked and nibbled as one hand was massaging another flushing bosom, while his free hand crushing her hip to his.

"A… Ali," She moaned. "Take this robe off."

Grinning, he replied playfully. "At your service,"

As soon as the robe fell, Issara pushed him to the mattress. She kissed him hungrily, skimming herself to his as her mouth roaming down his gorgeous body. Knowing what's going to happen, the ex-templar exclaimed loudly before she reached his exciting member.

"Don't… Ice! I won't be last if…"

But she didn't stop. "From the books I read, it'll be better if you… finish before the real… action. It said you'll have more time to… play."

Alistair didn't exactly believe it, but what could he do when she held his manhood as her hostage. Issara was a fast learner in _everything_, she'd learned what he like and gained more and more experience in pleasure him from those hot nights. He thought he was going to die, hips jerking slightly involuntarily as she sucked him deep in her throat. He moaned hopelessly, hands tugged on her hair to control her pace. Faster and faster, her head bobbed along his shaft roughly, wanted to receive all what he had to offer. She knew he was going to blast out in any minute.

"Give it to me, love. I want to taste you."

He couldn't hold on any longer. His love fluid spat out in between gasps and moans as he reached his peak and erupted in climax. Issara kept him in her throat, swallowed his pleasure gleefully as he panted, slowly recover from the high.

Still panting, the ex-templar looked at his bride with dazzling eyes. Triumphal grin that he loved so much was playing on her full lips as she crawled back up along his body like a tiger she able to shift.

"Don't blame me if I spent and we have to skip the night." Alistair banter. He knew he would recovery, but didn't sure how long he want for it.

"Hum…" She murmured in fake mock offend. "Are you going to tell me that the fearsome templar who killed a horde of darkspawn single-handed couldn't handle his wife in bed? I have to say I'm disappointed, ser."

This woman was an evil, he should know it. She was the challenge he love to win through. There's must be the way to wipe that smile off, to make her writhe, curse and beg beneath him. Well, she said he will have more time to play, so he would play her as she wish.

Grey Warden's stamina wasn't just legendary. Alistair came back to life and flipped over, brought his fellow Grey Warden to the mattress. She couldn't make much sound while he muted her mouth with his. Tongue ravished deep in her mouth, forced the sharp moan from fiercely woman beneath him. He didn't exactly gentle, but she seemed to enjoy it. In fact, he knew she would kick him off the bed if she doesn't like his assault. Although she said she was his, a fiercely woman like her would never endure the abuse and she doesn't need a blade to kill him.

Her fighting style made her a human weapon. It's so incredible that the same body still able to be sweet and gentle when she in the mood. She would able to be either the lady or the witch. And he loved all of it.

"Oh no, you don't." He teased then nibbled her lobe. "I have all night to _play_ you."

Issara grinned devilishly. "Before or after I take a nap?"

"You never surrender, do you?"

"Tame me, my prince. I swear it will worth your while." She pulled him to her seductively.

But he didn't obey. Instead, he attacked the sensitive flesh around her chest. Peppering and nibbling on creamy lotuses, but avoided erect peaks. She tried to hint him to where she need him by arched her back, offered him her breasts. Her hands gripped on his shoulders as she moaned his name.

Who was him to refuse her offering? Alistair feasted on her breasts, licking and sucking on her pert nipples as his legs parted her thighs. She didn't seem to notice it till his mouth kissing down, through her belly and pass her navel. He paused just a second to kiss a small red birthmark nearby, his kiss trailed down to her fold that now was wetting in desire for him. Sweet scent of her nectar was enough to wake his limp member up. He wanted her so much, almost hurt. But the male's ego got the best of him. He wouldn't give her what she want unless she beg for it.

Shifted pass her forbidden flower, he grinned in very satisfied as she hissed sharply.

"No… Ali, not there," Issara begged. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment as she tried to close her thighs. "It's… ashamed."

"You're beautiful." Alistair kissed on wetting flesh, assured her how he love it.

She took inhale sharply then fell back to mattress. Crying and writhing under his mercy, but still didn't say the word he waiting for. Her voice reached to the ceiling, her hands gripped on a pillow, she couldn't control her hip as he sucked her swelling nub, took all the control from her.

"Ali… please," Issara cried.

"Please what?" He asked slyly. "Do you want me to stop… this?" Gently, he slipped one finger inside her throbbing flower, pumping rhythmically.

"No… I," Her voice left her completely. She couldn't say a word while his mouth worked with his finger. Sometime, she touched herself for release her stress, but it couldn't compare with this.

"Say it, Ice. Tell me what you want."

"I want you inside me." Still ashamed to say it, she answered with the voice that didn't louder than whisper.

"But I'm already _in_." He teased, pumping his finger slowly.

How could a virgin so cruelly? If she didn't know him, she must think he lied to her. Issara got over her ego and begged him under her ragged breath. "Fuck me, Ali! Fuck me with your cock, please."

"As you ask so nicely," Grinning, Alistair lifted himself back up her body, taking her mouth into a kiss as he position himself where he wanted her.

However, he still remembered that she was a virgin. So he slowly pushed forward, kept looking at her expression.

"Oh, fucks… don't hold it. I'm not made of glass, ser knight." She hissed.

"But I don't want to hurt you."

Ok, she loved this part of him but this wasn't the time. She ran out of patience. "Fuck me or I'll ravish you."

He couldn't help but chuckle. "All right, I'll do it. Ready..?"

She nodded then he pushed, all of him buried inside her in one fluid movement. Issara inhaled sharply but didn't cry. This body might sore tomorrow but she would endure it.

Something inside commanded him to move and take what he wanted, but Alistair restrained it with his templar's discipline. They kissed deeply to share their desire, released the tension between them. The man didn't dare to move until she whispered.

"I love you."

He moved, then, slowly at first but more and more powerful eventually. All the time, she wrapped around him with her arms and thighs, passionate biting his shoulder when he raised her high and higher. She couldn't think of anything but the man above her and what he was doing to her.

"Ice… looks at me." Alistair demanded under his ragged breath.

Her heart was beating so loud, thus she needed some time to realize his words. When she looked through his eyes, she saw lust and love. Something stirred inside and exploded her.

In between gasp and pant, the Exotic Warden slowly retreated from the heaven. But her husband still couldn't get enough. He paused just to let her relax and then moved again, slower this time, savored every bit of his sexy wife. Issara screamed involuntarily as Alistair made her another orgasm. Lucky for him, her nails were short and neat so it didn't claw his rear to blood.

Spent, her hands lost their grip as she felt his love seed squirted inside her cunt. She glazed at her husband who was hovering above her, moaning in pure bliss. His face seemed relax more than aftermath of her _therapy_ in his tent. Well, it must because they performed together.

"I love you." He kept repeated those words over and over. Although it might was afterglow talking, she didn't care.

He didn't just slide off and took his sleep, but kept kissing, caressing her in his arms until they both calmed down. However, they blushed at the sight of the remnant of passionate night. There's some blood and other fluid on the mattress. Surely, love making is a massy business, by all mean.

"I-I need to clean up." Issara covered herself with a sheet and tried to stand up. Alas, her legs still unsteady.

Gently, Alistair scooped his wife with his arms, carried her to the tub. "Let me help."

"But…"

His soft smile just made her blushed redder. "Don't tell me you still bashful after _that_. You don't have anything I never see, love."

She pouted and smacked his chest furiously. How dare he to use that line against her?

The not-so-innocent templar laughed, removed the sheet off his wife's flushing body. She still didn't familiar with men's touch but didn't object. Anyhow, just simple touch aroused her again. Her lovely brown eyes were glaring at him in anticipation as his golden brown eyes were roaming all over her curves and hills hungrily.

"We should… clean you, before... I change my mind."

Issara chuckled. She wanted _it_ as he did, but this body disagreed. Besides, they needed decent rest before enter the Deep Roads tomorrow. "And call the servant for replace the bed sheet."

Despite his performance, Alistair still was her shy boy. He blushed beat red as her comment. "You're right, my wife. But that must be after the bath."

…

I had to admit, this is a bit embarrass to write. Well, don't tell my mom I wrote it. Well, anyway. Perhaps I should explain something. Thai poets prefered to describe female's anatomy with beautiful words, mostly with flowers name; example is: lotus (for the breast), heaven's flower, magical petals and etc. I never read romantic english poem, so I don't know if there's similair mataphor in those. But well, you know, all poets have soft spot on beautiful thing.


	35. We are one

Honestly, I didn't intend to write this chapter, but I happened to need some fluff before I'm going to torture Issara in next chapter. So, here we are. I hope you enjoy this.

Oops, I almost forgot. **Caution:** There's smutty ahead.

* * *

**We are one**

* * *

Something woke Alistair up in middle of the night, or sometime before they had to begin the trip to Deep Roads. It was easy to lose sense of time when you're in underground. Anyhow, he would never forget what happened before he fell asleep. Still sleepy, the ex-templar sought for his lovely wife who was supposed to lie beside him but she didn't there.

Panic, the man looked around the bedchamber until he found familiar figure was sitting near the stone fireplace. Golden light bathed her skin, almost made Issara glowing as she was staring into the flame.

Somehow, he knew she had something in mind, thus he went to her as quiet as possible to entangle his arms around that slander waist and kissed her temple.

"Hey, is everything all right?"

She smiled and rested herself on his chest, but still looked into the fire. "There's nothing to worry about, love. I just… I dreamed."

"A nightmare..? I wonder if there's anything could scare you." His banter was rewarded with a smack.

Her smile looked brighter, but turned to frowning quickly. "In my dream… I met Lillian."

Alistair didn't hate that woman, but her name made his stomach stirred in uneasy feeling. Although she used to be his friend, now she was nothing more than a ghost that haunted him and his wife. "It's just a dream, love."

"I don't know. She seemed real to me. Well, it's not a nightmare. I just saw Lillian was looking at me… her glaze was… creepy." Her body shook in fear. She'd known how evil lady Cousland could be. "She was more powerful than me and I'm unable to read her mind. I fear for you, Ali. What if she done something to you when I… I don't trust that woman."

He worried about it, but he also knew he must be strong for them both. So he hid his concern as best as he able. "I'm not that helpless, you know? And I'm also having skills of templar. Lillian would have very hard time if she tries to use her magic on me."

It's work. Issara smiled again. "Damn my ego. I should know my man is a tough guy."

This bright smile was one of billion things he loved about her. Alistair intended to keep it on her face with the best of his ability. "Yeah, I'm a _big_ boy. You cried it all night."

Issara rolled her eyes, but her cheeks flushed. "Ali…"

He didn't reply, still kissing her skin which made her moan in pleasure. Slowly undid her oversize shirt, he adored every inches that revealed to his eyes with mouth and tongue. Sex couldn't solve their problem, but his wife needed it in order to get her peaceful sleep. Anyway, he gave her chance to stop him if she didn't want it. He knew he didn't gentle in the first and second time. She might sore after their… exciting love makings.

She didn't seem to mind, though. His wife was an energetic woman. She could handle everything he offered, and also loved to return the favor. When he carried her back to the bed, she pulled him with her before flipped over, straddling him.

"You must be tired, my husband." She whispered seductively. "Let's me… serve you, this time."

Had he ever disagreed when she say something like that? "As you wish, milady,"

"Good, now behave and relax." Smirking, she pressed her thumbs on his muscular body, massaged the spot she knew would effect on his energy.

Alistair hurt a little, but it's gone after she released her press. After a few minutes, another feeling replaced the soreness and then his blood rushed to important area. His member was full erect, swelling beneath his wife wetting rose as she rubbed herself with him.

_This is heaven_. He tried to grab her hip but she slapped his hands. "No-no-no, ser knight, you stay still and let me serve you, remember?"

"Please, Ice, I need you."

"So eager…" Her giggle sounded wicked. "Am I that desirable?"

"Maker's breathe..! Woman, you have no idea!"

She grabbed him in her hand, guided his eager member into her entrance but didn't let it pass. "Do you remember what I told you earlier, about I'm riding you?" slowly, she easing her onto him. They gasped in pleasure of the union. "I think I prefer this position than riding your back." Took all control with her hip, Issara rode him in slow and steady rhythm. Her hip moved in sultry dance as her hands intertwined with his to leveraging herself.

Twin lotuses were bouncing in erotic rhythm, and Alistair couldn't stand its seduction. Despite her protest, he sat up to take her ruby nipple into his mouth, drinking her creamy skin as if it was the magical food. Made her flushed and moan desperately. Their kiss was so hot and lustful, more and more passionate in every thrust and pull. Before she would able to stop him, they rolled over. He took control again.

"Were you going to kill me?" The ex-templar asked under his ragged breath as he sped up the pace. "Going so slow like that…"

"You knew you like it." She replied with sharp inhale.

"Possibly, but I prefer you _serve_ under me."

It's amazing that she was able to laugh when her breath was rapid and shallow. "Perhaps I should restraint you next time."

"Sounds promising, I can't wait for that."

Even though her hips rose to meet every assault, Alistair didn't get enough. She squeaked in surprise as he placed her thighs upon his shoulder to deepen the powerful thrusts. The sounds of mingled moans and hot slapping flesh filled the room as their coupling reached its peak throwing them both violently into blissful climax.

Still twined together, they gasped for air. Alistair gently low her thighs down before laid back to the bed, also pulled her with him until the soft body rested on his chest.

Their breath calmed down, he heard lovely giggle from a woman beside him. "What's that about?" he asked.

"Hum, I just thinking about your dream. I mean… the dream you have when you're trapped in the Fade. It's a bit embarrassing to walk into your personal dream like that, but I have no choice."

"I remember that. You walked into my wedding and ruined it, which made me angry desperately." His playful voice turned to serious. "Then, you cried, begged me to trust in you. That was the first time I see you really cry… that is my fault and I still feel guilty."

"Don't be. I ought to be the one who apologize."

Her face was hiding in the shadow, but he could feel the warmth. She was blushing. "Why..?"

"I… um, ruining your dream was a bit entertaining, you know? I was…jealous. Even I knew that woman was a demon, though."

"Does it mean you had the feeling for me ever since..?" Alistair could imagine his wife was rolling her eyes.

"Oh, please Ali. I really don't want to mention it. Honestly, I really have no idea about how I'd fallen for you. I never had thought if I would fall for any man, especially someone like you. Did you trick me with love magic?"

"What's if because I'm handsome, sweet and intelligent man? I knew I'm quite a prize, woman."

Her laughing sounded like a ringing bell. It's his second favorite sound, less than when she screamed his name in climax. "Your self-adoring is worse than Zev. Oh, now shut up and rest. I need my beauty sleep."

But he didn't let the topic down. "Do you know who was a woman I married in the Fade?"

"Don't know, don't care... It has no good to talk about something that passed."

Yes, his wife was lovely. He was lucky to have her. "I want you to know. The woman in my dream is you and you only. When we had married, I feel like the dream come true. I love you, Ice, more than all of cheeses in Thedas."

"Cheeses… you compared me with food? Oh man, you're really voracious."

"It's because you're yummy." He kissed her again. Her taste was still lingering in his mouth. Issara felt like she was going to faint.

"You know…" She whispered breathlessly after the kiss stopped. "At this rate, we'll never leave this room in the morning. And my legs won't be able to work for a week."

"Sorry, love. All right, I'll behave. We should be careful with your flawless legs, shouldn't we?" he groped her legs, slowly moved up to tight buttocks, which made his wife squeaked and smacked his chest. "All right, I give up. Let's go back to sleep. The Deep Roads won't be easy on us. We need decent rest."

Issara didn't argue, she rested on her husband's chest and quickly went to the Fade.

…

Sometime, life is unpredictable. Things happened and your plan has changed, just in the blink of the eyes.

Issara never had thought she would get new companion just before she walked into the Deep Roads. Oghren: a crude dwarven warrior who fond of all things alcoholic and also was Branka's husband, offered to accompany the Grey Wardens in the quest for searching the lost Paragon. He claimed that he was only one who knew where his wife was went and what she looked after.

Although Issara had no much faith on the alcoholic dwarf, he had proved himself useful enough. His skills as the Berserker were impressive, and his knowledge about the Deep roads was also helped them save the time. There're many tunnels in the Deep Roads, some ruined or destroyed. No one had complete map of this place and the compass wasn't work here. Even without darkspawn or deep stalker's attack, the labyrinth still was the problem. With Oghren's guidance, the party arrived to Ortan Thaig in one piece eventually.

Passed through the debris and ruins, they found the large open area with the two bridges. There, a crippled dwarf was ransacking the darkspawn's corpse. However, he yelled and ran when he saw the Grey Wardens and co.

"That boy must lost his mind." the berserker said,

"I sense the taint in him. But he isn't the darkspawn, and surely not the Grey Warden." The leader frowned. She knew this wasn't going to end well.

There's no easier way to answer her question than ask the boy. So they followed his track to a cave. All the mean time, Oghren looked around and grinned like he found a treasure.

"I can see Branka's trace in these stones. She and her entire house used to stay here, at least for awhile. I bet we can find more lead in this cave."

"Well, excuse me." Couldn't stop her curious, Issara carefully asked. "You seem to know a lot about your wife. I assume you two were close, but why she left to the Deep Roads without you?"

"I don't know. Perhaps she does love me and don't want to see me suffering if anything go wrong."

_This must be boy's thing, I guess._ Issara thought.

Anyway, the crippled boy stole her attention. The poor creature was hiding behind large debris in fear. His good eye was bright in the dim light, full of something innocent even most of his body was corrupted by the taint.

Pity, the lady Warden tried to talk with him sweetly. "Hello, young man."

Kindness lady must be the last thing he expected to meet. The tainted dwarf stared at her like seeing the ghost. "H… hello… Who are you? You don't come to steal Ruck's glitter stones, right?"

"My name is Issara. And no, I don't want to steal anything from you. Anyhow, I suppose your name is Ruck." Same as when she wanted to make the dog feel less threaten, the Exotic Warden kneeled to the boy's eye level.

Smile always made thing better. Ruck came out from his shelter with bashful smile on his twist lips. "Beautiful lady… Eyes shine like glitter stone. What can Ruck serve you?"

"I just want to ask the question. Have you live here alone, Ruck?"

"Ruck stay here…but wasn't all the time. When the ugly things came, Ruck hid in the dark. They never found Ruck."

"But what are you doing here? This place is dangerous."

His expression changed. Even Issara couldn't recognize that was the face of angry or sorrow. "Ruck came here with the other, but they left Ruck… so, Ruck had to hide from the ugly things. The giant spiders don't eat Ruck because they have the grey ugly things to eat. But something had changed lately. The grey things had gone and spiders hungry. They destroyed the cave and took everything with them, Ruck saw everything but they never found Ruck."

"That is! The corrupted spider must take Branka's things with them. We must find their lair." Oghren exclaimed.

"I hate to admit, but I suppose you're right." Issara's face lost its color. She hate spider, left alone the giant and corrupted ones. At her first met with the corrupted spider in the forest, she was shocked and involuntary burned them to ash before jumped to Alistair's arms like a bloody school girl.

Whatever, she has more questions. "I knew you're good in hiding, Ruck. But that doesn't explain how you could survive without food, unless you… oh my…"

She hated to think about it, but there's only one possible answer. Ruck had to eat anything he could find. Without skill and weapon, he couldn't hunt anything for food. Only thing he could have was spider's leftover: the darkspawn!

Those taint meats tainted him as well. Sooner or later, this poor man would become the ghoul. If she leaves him like this, he will face something worse than death…

She has to…put him to sleep.

"Last question; you said the ugly things had gone. Do you know where're they goes?"

"In the deep tunnel… they follow his calling. His sweet voice calls them to The Dead Trenches. Ruck want to go, but can't. They will found Ruck if Ruck try."

The Grey Wardens tensed. They knew what it means.

"The archdemon…" Alistair let the breath he didn't realize he was holding.

The tainted god was far from her thought this time. Issara reached for her knife as she called Ruck. "Come closer, Ruck. I have something for you."

The poor boy walked to her. His eyes wondered. "The beautiful lady is going to give Ruck a present!"

She forced herself to smile, even her tear was forcing to flow from her eyes. This was the hardest choice she had ever made. "Close your eyes, Ruck. I swear, thing will be better."

He followed her command innocently. Then the Exotic Warden held and sang him lullaby. Her voice was cracked and became the cry as she thrust the knife into Ruck's chest. He shuddered a little before stopped moving in her arms. It's the quick and painless death.

Everyone, especially Alistair looked at her like she became the monster. However, most of them understood her decision. They knew what would happen to the poor boy if she didn't kill him. Issara's action was cruel, but she did it in mercy.

Only one who didn't understand was…her husband. She could tell it by look into his eyes.

"Oghren… you're dwarf. You must know the proper funeral for your people. Could you…give it to him?" She avoided Alistair's glaze and asked the newest companion.

"We buried them in the stone. To make it, I need sometime and some hands. Can you help me, pike-twirler?" The berserker asked the ex-templar. So Alistair stopped glaring at his wife, which gave her great relief.

_I think he knows me, but it's clear that he don't. Why don't I realize it before? _Issara gnashed her teeth.

Wynne and Lynx must know her thought. They tried to sooth her as best of their ability. It's good to knew that someone still understand, but she still hurt inside.

…

That night, they set the camp in Ruck's cave. The companion talked as less as they able. Even Shale seemed quiet and lost in thought. They had walked just for two days from the entrance, but they met many things along the way, which changed their perspective of live.

And Issara thought she had to make peace with her husband. She loved him and didn't want to ruin their married life because some misunderstood. He might understand or not, but she was willing to try.

However, after the companion (exclude Shale) went to sleep. The newlywed found them met in middle way between their bedrolls. They looked into each other eyes until they said in unison.

"We need to talk."

A relief laugh escaped from her mouth, Alistair followed suit. Despite what she had done, he still did love her.

"Alright, you talk first." Issara said.

"No, lady first," Alistair protested.

She folded her arms across her chest. "Are you intending to make me mad?"

"Making you mad…? Perish the thought, dear lady. I just don't want to mess thing up again. Anyhow, if you insist, I'll talk first."

His voice sounded playful. Perhaps she still had chance to reason with him. "I'm listening."

He glared at the golem that was standing near the fire. Shale murmured something before turned its back. "I… I want to know. Why did you kill Ruck?"

_So blunt, why didn't he pierce me with his sword? It won't hurter than use his words._ Issara thought as she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "I have to, Ali. He was tainted. We both know what will happen if he still alive. He was a good boy. I hate to see him suffer."

"That's not what I ask, Ice. I know we can't leave him like that. What I want to know is: why did you do it yourself? Why didn't you ask me?"

That certainly not anything she expected. Issara was speechless for awhile. "Pardon…?"

"You're the kindest woman I ever had known. It must be hard for you to kill him, even in merciful killing. I don't want to see you suffer, neither mental nor physical."

_Silly Ice, you worried he'd never known you. But you are the one who didn't know him._ She berated herself. "I'm sorry."

"What's that for?"

"I thought you don't understand why I'd done it and…you must think I am monster for kill the innocence. How stupid I am?" Issara smiled in relief. "I didn't ask you because I don't think you can do it… I mean, you're good man. I can't ask you to do such a monstrous thing… I love you so much. I can't…"

That's why he loved her so much. She was lovely and caring. Day after days, he'd wondered if he could live without her. "I guess we both care for each other." Alistair kissed his wife dearly. Cherished and adored her as his goddess. "But remember that I'm your husband and you're my wife. We're one. Happiness or sorrow, better or worse, I want to share everything with you. Don't ever hesitate to ask me for anything."

Word seemed to unnecessary, Issara just kept kissing him. Deeper and deeper, lust and desire ignited inside them. Before she knew it, he pressed her to the cave's wall, her legs wrapped around his waist.

With less consciousness she possessed, Issara stopped him. "No, not here, not now,"

A voice from one of the companion's bedroll interjected. "Don't mind me, you two can go on."

Alistair groaned. "That dirty dwarf…"

But his wife couldn't help but chuckled. Oghren's word was like the cold water that cooled them down. It's a bit unpleasant but good for them all. "We can't do it, Ali, by any reason."

"You're right, love. This isn't good place or time. Despite the danger around, I still don't like the idea of having the audient."

"You have my deeply appreciate. No matter how much I love you, I would never do _that_ in front of my grandma and sis." She thought her voice wasn't louder than whisper, but she was wrong.

"Thank you very much. That kind of show doesn't well for a woman in my age." Wynne said.

Issara buried her face in her hands, totally embarrass. As Alistair's ears were redden like it was burning.

Like it wasn't worse enough, Lynx gave a vote of thanks. "Your happiness makes me happy. But I afraid I won't get any rest if you two keep rutting like the rabbits all night."

"And don't forget about me. The flesh creature's intercourse nauseated me." Shale jointed the banter.

The spouse didn't know how to respond. They just blushed and blushed more crimson.

"Honestly, I'm really glad we don't bring Morrigan or Zevran along." Alistair remarked. "Thing could be worse if they were here."

"I can't agree more," Issara said as she hid herself beneath the blanket.


	36. I will survive

When I was writing this chapter, my vermiform-appendix suddenly decided that was a good time to leave me. After some brutally argument, the doctor has to do us part forever. It was literally hurt to separate with something you born with, but life must go on. I had to take a long vacation to mend my broken heart (and painful belly) in my mom's house, which had no internet. Well, I still have my laptop with me, but I just couldn't write anything while I'm not alone. So, I had to wait until my vacation had ended and I had peaceful time alone in my apartment.

And that was the reason of the long update. I apologize for the delay of this and next chapter. I hope you will forgive me for this.

* * *

**I will survive**

* * *

Hot as hell, she felt like if she was an egg in hot pot. The air felt thick and heavy, which made it hard to breathe. In the darkness around, she saw the endless rivers of lava... no, some of them weren't lava. It was the torches. From the ledge she stood, the hordes of darkspawn were marching through the tunnels. Familiar feeling creeping in her vein, she felt sick.

Amidst the dark sky, something big was hovering above her head. Not for long, the black dragon swooped down then sat on the ledge nearby. In the hell of fire and destruction, Issara encountered the archdemon that leaded the hordes of taint creatures from the dark pit.

Somehow, her consciousness told her this was a dream, there's nothing to fear. They couldn't touch her, not now anyway.

"_I am waiting for you, my dear child." _Without word, the beast contacted directly to her mind. _"Come to me. Together, we will conquer the world."_

What is the name? Utah, Puma… Oh-la-la1, bah… fuck it. The old tevinter imperium worshiped it as the old god but she cared nothing about this beast. She wanted to kill it, not more or less. Since the experience with Flemeth, talking with anything she wants to kill is very bad idea.

"Go fuck yourself." Fearless Warden gave it middle finger. "You're beyond stupid if you ever thought I would follow you."

Shock, the old god bawled furiously. Blue flame from its fearsome mouth lit the dark cavern up. The earth was quaking as the rocks were falling from above.

"_How dare you to treat a god in such a manner? I am a god of beauty, you mortal were only dust under my feet."_

"Beauty…?" Issara arched her brows in mock offend. "Whoever gave that name to you must have been blind or had terrible taste."

If they'd met in the real world, the dragon must want to swallow her whole. Luckily, this was her dream, so Issara control everything. No matter how it tried, the archdemon couldn't step closer or even touch her. The blue flame spattered and faded away when it touched her skin.

Something wasn't right, not right at all. The black dragon retreated from the arrogant human unwillingly. _"What are you?"_

"Your worst nightmare," the Exotic Warden announced. "Listen you asshole, I don't care whatever they call you. For me, you're nothing but a fucking beast. The Grey Wardens killed four of your kind, you'll be the fifth. Just wait until my blade cut your head off."

Terrified, the black eyes grew wider in realization. _"You… you are not her! You are not supposed to be here! Your presence had changed the tide of destiny."_

"Tell me something I don't know." Issara grunted.

"_That does not matter. Even though the river had changed its way, the end still will be the same. I will kill you and the whole creature in the world. Only one mortal cannot stop the god."_

Strange, she had no fear. "I don't know what's in reptile brain of yours. What's good about conquer the world that had been destroyed? Would you happy when sitting in the throne that surround by nothing? Have you ever questioned yourself?"

No one ever ask these questions. In fact, no one ever dared to speak with the archdemon. The darkspawn wasn't talk. Mortals shook in fear when they encountered him in the Fade, even though they're the tainted people who supposed to kill it.

This mortal, was different…

Somehow, Issara felt the dragon was smirking. _"We will meet again. In the mean time, you shall beware of your arrogant and ignorance. Do not die before that day."_ And then, it did fly away, followed by the darkspawn horde.

Ignorance…? That word reminded her something… that happened before she fell asleep. It… it was terrible and… damns it!

This wasn't the time for sleep.

…

Brown eyes finally opened. They slowly moving around as the owner tried to figure about what has happened. Still didn't fully recover, Issara didn't dare to move any muscle. As much as she was able to see in the darkness, the scene in front of her was unfamiliar. Well, she knew she was in the Deep Roads that build within underground, so it wasn't surprise to see stone and more stone around. It's not easy to tell her spot in the complicated tunnel.

Or where her comrades were…

It sounded Dejavu, indeed. She was separated from the other once when they were in the quest for Andraste's ashes but this situation must be worse.

The Frostback Mountains was cold, but at least it didn't so dark like this. Darkness and strange voice around caused her Achluophobia to relapse. Lying on the unyielding stone, Issara couldn't move or stop crying like a helpless baby.

"_Ali, where're you?"_ She thought about her husband. His presence was the only thing that kept her sane in this dark tunnel. Without him by her side, she felt like she was going to die.

The only source of light in the area was the river of lava which wasn't so far away. Issara could see a ghostly visage was moving toward her. No, it's not a ghost. From the furry eight legs, she recognized this thing was the corrupted spider queen.

Then, she remembered what's happened. The party went to spider's lair to retrieve Branka's trace. Too bad, those eight legs monsters didn't cooperate. The Exotic Warden had known about spider's sensitive respiratory system, so she used the smoke bombs as weapon. Most of the entire lair died in the chemical smoke. They thought the fight was over but they were wrong.

It happened so fast. She barely remembered the detail. A few of it was the gigantic spider stung Lynx and tried to drag her away. Without any thought, Issara in tiger's form hurled to the queen and everything went dark.

In between the fight, they must fell to the chasm. There's no wound, but the Exotic Warden felt the pain in every square inch of flesh. Her enemy must wasn't in better condition because its walking so limped almost was dragged itself to her. Its red globes were glowing with anger.

The spider climbed on her body, aiming to bit her head. Disgusting fangs opened as its toxic dripped to stone ground. Issara's heart almost stopped beating in fear.

"_Do something!"_ Issara commanded herself. _"You can't die here. Move your ass, NOW!"_

She never had known what cause it. But in between the line of life and death, she kicked it off her. The queen rolled on the ground, crushed with sharp stone. Before it could recover, the Warden burned it with fireburst. Wynne taught her to control fire magic with her mind and imagination, so Issara imagined about the plasma flame. Her fire was blue and hotter than Morrigan's or Wynne's. Just a few minutes, the eight legs became nothing but ashes.

Exhausted, the Exotic Warden fell to her knees but laughing. A moment early she thought she was going to die, but she survived and her enemy dead. She felt like she had been reborn to another better life.

"It seems the lord of the death still don't want me." She laughed until her stomach ached. "Oua-wa (Alright), let's stays alive for a bit longer. I don't want to make Alistair widower anytime soon."

Thought about her husband gave her energy to move on. Issara summoned the will o' wisp to light the area as she checking her body and gears. Her grenade and smoking bomb was already run out, as some of pistol shells was broke. Anyway, even though most of her gears were in the good shape, her condition didn't well enough for more fight. She must be careful.

Some mineral within the stone must interfaced with her compass, which cause it out of order. The Exotic Warden was thinking about how which way to go when familiar feeling touched her inner sense. In the dim light, colorless visage of male dwarf was standing in front of her. That face and attire seemed familiar; she thought she saw this one before.

"_Follow me."_ the ghost said. It wasn't command, sounded like plea instead.

Although she didn't know if this ghost was friendly or not, she had no other choice but follow. They walked through narrow path that lay along the river of lava. Without looking back, the ghost moved slowly as if it afraid Issara won't able to catch up.

Not so far from Issara's landing port, she found a small glade near the lava's river. There, a big deep stalker was lying dead. The Exotic Warden found this kind of corpse everywhere in this road but this one was different. She didn't sure about its cause of dead but she could tell it's been skinned and its flesh has been cut with sharp object. This doesn't look like the beast or darkspawn's work.

Someone ate this beast just recently and must do it without cooking because there's no trace of any fire around. The Grey Warden turned back to her guide but the ghost already disappeared.

There's only one reason to explain it. This place must be the destination that her guide intended to lead her to. But what's his reason?

"Perhaps I should do some searching." And she did.

The Grey Warden found a body was hiding within the deepest part of an alcove of the stone glade. Although the body was sitting behind the rock, he still wore the worn heavy armor. The hands still carried axe and shield. This guy must pass something horrible before ended up here.

Perhaps the ghost wanted her to give his corpse the proper funeral. Issara tried to move the body but found out she was wrong.

That dwarf wasn't a male and certainly not dead. Her pulse was slow and shallow but steady, skin around her sockets was dark and her lips were dried. Despite the wounds and bruises, she still was in the good shape. Only problem that brought her down must be the lack of food and water.

It's good thing that Issara always had necessary stuff with her. After half of hour or so, the healer brought the mystic warrior back to life.

Still unconscious, the woman dwarf murmured. "Father… please, don't leave me."

Putted thing and thing together, the Exotic Warden assumed the ghost she saw was this woman's father. Even the death couldn't stop the love between father and daughter, thus he came back to human's world to save her.

That meant Issara shouldn't fail them.

However, before she could do anything, the dwarf suddenly roared then grabbed the Grey Warden's neck. Another woman tried to defend herself so they wrestled until the taller woman kicked the shorter one off her. The stranger was thrown to another side of the glade, bumped against the rock wall and then regained the consciousness.

Two women were sitting in opposite corners of the glade, looking at each other in suspicion. After a moment of seriously awkward, the dwarf spoke first.

"You… aren't the darkspawn?"

That was silly question, the human chuckled in amusement. "It's obvious, isn't it?"

"Yeah, sorry for asked stupid question," Her harsh voice faded as she coughed and held her throat in pain.

Issara hurried give her water. "Here, take this. But not so fast."

Another woman appreciated it, but still curious. "Human and also a healer… What's brought you here, in this fucking hole?"

"In my tradition; if you want to know anyone's name, you must introduced yourself first. But it's alright. My name is Issara, of the Grey Warden. You can call me Issara. I and my comrades came to this pit for do some business, but accident happened and I had been parted from them."

Dwarf is dwarf. The stranger didn't notice her sarcastic comment. "The ancestor must have cruel humor. I hate to admit but it looks like you came to die with me."

"What the optimism? Are you one of 'the Legion of The Dead' member?"

The dwarf eyed her damage armor and weapon. She lost in thought for awhile. "No, I'm not one of them. I'm… was a warrior in Aeducan's banner but…"

Something kicked in; Issara remembered the ghost's face. He was the dead king Endrin! That meant the woman in front of her was… "You're Lady Jewel Aeducan! But I thought you're…"

"Dead, right?" Jewel smirked sarcastically. "Yeah, I should be dead since they left me in here… I fought to survive by killed the creatures those tried to kill me, and ate anything those weren't tainted or poison. Even now, I still can't believe I still survive."

For her own good, she didn't ask about the detail. "Oh my, you have my all respect. I don't think I would survive if I stuck in this place alone for week without good weapon or food, but you can survive for almost three months. You're incredible!" Honestly, Issara praised.

Despite her condition, the princess felt proud in herself because of that praise. "You honor me too much, Grey Warden. But to be honest, I don't realize it had been three months since they banished me. Within this tunnel, it seems like eternity."

"I understand." The Exotic Warden was completely lost the sense of time since she had stepped in the Deep Roads. She didn't know how long she left her husband's side, and longer time had passed, her worry for him was more and more. "Anyhow, we can't stay here too long. I must find my husband and my friends."

"Your husband..?"

"Yes, we just had married a few days ago. Too bad, our duty had forced us to take honeymoon trip in this god-forsaken pit. Now I'm in my way to back to his side."

Jewel's expression seemed softer as she smiled sadly. She looked like she was lost in her mind. "I'm sorry to say that is impossible. Since I fell from the ledge almost a week ago, I couldn't find the way out. There's no any way to get out of here, unless you can fly.

"Do you mean…?" Issara looked around. She saw stone and more stone.

"We're surrounding with stone walls. I tried to climb but…" the princess showed her bruised leg.

The Warden swallowed hard. She might try to shift to a bird, but her last flying lesson didn't end well. "Are you sure? It must be some way to…"

"You aren't only one who wants to leave this place. I tried looking for the way out until I'm run out of supply. Well, we might wait for your husband's rescue but I don't think you have much food with you."

That wasn't the good idea. The ledge was so high, even the ropes they had might didn't long enough for do the rescue. Besides, she didn't know about her comrade's condition. If there's anything happen… Issara couldn't just wait for help. "These walls can't have the same height. We shall find the spot that easier to hike."

"Suit yourself, Grey Warden." The exile princess said, but sat still.

The Exotic Warden paused. She looked at another woman curiously. "Aren't you going to come?"

"I'm not like you, Warden. I have no place to go back, no one to care." Her voice sounded like crying. "My big brother was killed, but I had blamed for it… my father did nothing to save me, there's only man tried to stand for me but he had banished to the surface. I have nothing to fighting for."

Issara was Issara. She never believes in those words. "No, that is not true. You still and always have yourself, Jewel."

"But to what end? I'm tired of this. I just want to rest and never wake up again."

"Life isn't that easy, I'm afraid. It wasn't easy to born, and wasn't easy to break. No matter what happen, if we're still breath, you and I must keep going. And… to be honest, your father want you to stay strong."

"What do you know about my father?" The princess changed her tone.

Something stung her heart. The Exotic Warden tried to choose better words. "Well, I never met him… in a flesh because your father is dead… probably by poison. And Bhelen is…"

Surely, that news shocked her. Jewel cried out like a baby. "Father… oh no, this shouldn't happen. He is a good man. Bhelen must pay for this!"

"Wait a minute. Your brother is only a suspect, there's no strong evident against him."

"I knew it was his doing." There's fierce fire in her eyes. The princess had changed by the news. "Since we're young, he always did anything to get what he craved. He thought he hides it well but I knew him better. Damn it, I knew it all the time but I just didn't care. These things might never happen if only I would ever stop being such a selfish bitch and pay attention to my family."

As always, Issara never ask for the detail. "You still can do something for them. The quest that brought me here is to help Harrowmont get the throne. Bhelen still hadn't been king. It must be something you could do to made the thing right if we able to get out of here."

Suddenly, the dwarf paused. "How…? These walls are too high to hike with bare hands. I don't suppose you have the griffin with you."

"I don't, but I will never give up. Let's go find some easy spot for hike."

Jewel glazed at her new friend. How could she have hope in this circumstance?

Issara knew what she had in mind. The human just smiled then answered the unspoken question. "Among my people, we have so-called phrase: if the life hadn't end, we must move on. Thing could be better if we try hard enough. But if you thought the world is suck and couldn't think of any hope, there's the way to enlighten your mood."

"How..?"

With both forefingers, the Exotic Warden lifted the corners of her lips. "Smile," and then, she sang.

_There're many ways to have a good life_

_You must avoid the_ _obstruction on your trail_

_Brighten your heart, and you will be fine_

_Mirthful or tragic, is depend on your mind_

_Life was hard, the world must be gloom_

_But don't be afraid_

_Keep smiling and encourage your heart with song_

_Fight it with smile on your face and move along_

_Rich or poor, good or bad_

_There's still be hope somewhere_

_Even the horde of evil surround_

_Just smile and don't let them hold you down_

_Keep do good thing to make your heart virtue_

_Do the right thing, and you will be good_

_Happiness, sorrow, all depend on your mind_

_Brighten your spirit with smile and keep going on_2

Involuntary, Jewel smiled. Somehow, she felt everything was going to be better. Issara's smile enlightens the dark pit like the sun she had never seen since she was young.

Thing would never be easy… But they would be fine.

…

It was almost two hours or so after they started walking. The soreness captured Jewel again but she was too stubborn to receive any help that Issara offered. She carried herself with her worn sword as she followed the Grey Warden to deeper tunnel.

The exile princess didn't know how her new friend could found the way to go. Issara just stopped to look through a tube and leaded her to the path she never seen. They have to climb and duck for a bit but they found a slope that could bring them off this chasm. Alas, it was on another side of lava's river.

"Come on. It's not that bad." Sweeping, but still wearing a big smile. The Exotic Warden pointed at big rocks in the middle of the fucking hot river. "We could use those as our bridge."

"Easy for you to say," The dwarf sighed. "With you long legs, you can walk faster. It's just a short distance for you."

"We might try looking for another way, but that wouldn't be easy."

Looked at her heavy armor, Jewel didn't sure if she can do it. In between their short trip, Issara always had to help her from falling or tumble. But what if she falls from those rocks to the lava…

However, her chain of thought has been cut by the Warden's chuckle. "What's that about?"

"Nothing… I just thought about the movie… the story I heard. A group of men, Hobbits, Elf and Dwarf ran to the broken bridge. The horde of enemy was after them and there's no anther way out. The Elf could jump to another side but the Hobbits couldn't. So the human thrown them cross the chasm. However, the Dwarf resisted to was thrown like some kind of sack."

"I won't do otherwise. What's happen after that?"

"What must be done will be done. The human saved him by thrown him cross the chasm… well, he keep complained about it for a long while but he still gladded to survive."3

The dwarf stared at her suspecting. "Don't tell me you're thinking about throwing me cross this lava."

The distance between two sides of hot stream hadn't longer than five meters, still too far than Issara would able to jump or even throw fussy dwarf across. "No, I'm not that strong. Besides, I have better option."

Jewel exclaimed impolitely as her friend shifted to an alien feline. Without word, the golden creature repeating looked at the exile princess and her own back. She took that hint and climbed to big rear. A long time ago, her father brought her and brothers to the surface. A human merchant let her rose his mule, but it was totally different from this. Involuntary, she gripped the beast's neck tighter.

Issara roared, just to give her friend the signal and then jumped to the rocks. The rocks were more fragile than she thought. It's cracked as her big paws stamped on it. However, the shape-shifter didn't pause to look. She just flew to opposite side with all her might.

They fell to the ground and rolled for a little bit before Issara turned back to human form and grabbed Jewel's collar, which stopped the dwarf from falling to the melting stone.

Panting, both women were lying on the small beach and laughed in relief. The death almost got them but they're stronger to die. Well, their dead would come, but not today. After this day, the exile princess swore to herself that she would never be disheartened again.

* * *

To be honest, after I read many Dragon age fanfictions, I thought I must be the optimist writer. No offend or anything but I started to wonder if my story just too bright for the reader's taste. Well, I thought I need some preview to guide my writing. Please tell me what you think.

* * *

1 The name of the archdemon is really hard to remember for Issara because it's sounded unfamiliar in her language. However, if there's any archdemon name Oh-la-la, he must be the hippy dragon who try to conquer the world with funky band of darkspawn… What the hell I am thinking about!

2 Rough translate from Thai version lyric of the song 'Smiles', which compose by beloved His Majesty King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand. Well, this song have English version, but I prefer the Thai lyric. So I tried to translate it with my poor talent. Truly, it was damn hard to change those delicate words to another language, so I didn't translate every word. If there's anything sounds wrong, blame it on me.

3 This story is one scene from movie 'The Lord of the ring: fellowship of the ring'. It had been a long while since I watched this movie, thus I'm not so sure about the detail. However, I really like Gimli and his attitude.


	37. That's what love can do

At first, this chapter was supposed to be humorous. But I changed my mind and rewrote it.

* * *

**That's What Love Can Do**

* * *

_First day, they come and catch everyone._

Coldly voice touched her ears. Issara gripped on her crossbow tighter as her nerve tensed. Something in the voice and word gave her horrible feeling.

_Second day, they beat us and eat some for meat._

Jewel cursed. Her hands were shaking. This was the first time that the fear captured her heart so deeply - The fear of something worse than death,

_Third day, the men are gnawed on again._

No need for word, the buddy looked into each other's eyes and nodded. The dwarf lady kicked the stone door open, revealed the long passage that full of rotting flesh. Stinky smell kicked their nostril, almost made them vomit.

_Fourth day, we wait and fear for our fate._

There're dwarf's size footprints on bloody path. Someone just walked through this way, probably a few minute ago. Judged from the trace, Issara rather sure that one was Hespith; ex-commander of Branka's troop and lover who followed the mad paragon into the Deep Roads two years ago.

_Fifth day, they return and it's another girl's turn._

They just met the poor woman in half of hour or so. Hespith wasn't in the good condition. She was corrupted by the taint, and slowly turned to something 'worse than death'. She told them about the fate of her friends. The slaughter, violate and betrayal, all happened because of Branka.

_Sixth day, her screams we hear in our dreams._

Those unfocused eyes full of mixed emotions. Corrupted dwarf changed her tone as she spoke about Branka. There's love and hate within the voice. Issara assumed they love each other so much, but it had changed because Branka gave her legionnaires to the darkspawn, left them to died or corrupted. However, the Exotic Warden tired of guessing, so she did scan Hespith. It's the worst decision of her.

_Seventh day, she grew as in her mouth they spew._

It's dark, painful and damn stink. She sensed the darkspawns. They're so close… no, there're around her. In the vision, she was looking through Hespith's eyes, felt what the dwarf passed through. Although she couldn't see all of them, those memories were too much for her brain to suffer, Issara was shocked by the effect which cause her to fell to her knees. Jewel was panicked so she couldn't stop Hespith from running.

_Eighth day, we hated as she is violated._

Follow the insane person to the unknown territory doesn't sound like smart thing to do, especially with the party of two but it felt like some kind of had to. After the Exotic Warden regained her consciousness, she obeyed her instinct and relied on her fate. They followed Hespith's trace. All the way, the darkspawn randomly appeared, they had to fight for their life and find the way in the same time. Anyway, it sounds strange that the unarm dwarf could walk pass the tainted creature without getting hurt. How it's possible?

_Ninth day, she grins and devours her kin._

Look at the bright side, (thank for Issara's extremely optimism) encounter with drakspawn is mean they could get new stuffs. Jewel got new armor and weapon when Issara got potion and more bolts. Thing seemed better so far even the Grey Warden still worried about her husband and company. Her brain couldn't receive clear memories from the poor woman, but her consciousness knew something. Deeper the dark pit she walked, the concern just grew more and more. At some point, she thought she needed a ton of nuke to wipe the dark thing in the end of this tunnel. She wanted to end it before its claw would able to touch Lynx.

_Now she does feast, as she's become the beast._

The trail had disappeared where the bloody path ended. Anyhow, there's only one way to move forward. Carefully, two women walked into narrow and long stone path. The darkness and stinking air made them felt uncomfortable. The silence also caused their heart to beat faster.

From the above, small stones fell. Issara looked at the ceiling but it's too far and too dark. She couldn't see anything.

"What's happen?" Jewel asked.

Because the Grey Warden paused, the dwarf was in the front. As she turned her back, something grabbed her lag and quickly dragged her to the cave ahead.

There's no time for panic, Issara chased after her buddy in full speed. As she was screaming, Jewel tried to free herself from something looked like the tentacle. She kicked and hit it until the thing eventually loosed her free. Just as she thought she could get some breath, she found out that she was wrong. No one give them blessing yet, and they just ran toward to the hell.

They're in the cave, face with something that certainly didn't look like anything they'd known. Issara thought it looked like Jabba the Hutt combined with the octopus and fat caterpillar. The combination was totally ugly and disgusting. Her experience of the abomination in the mage's tower couldn't compare with this.

_Broodmother…_

Hespith's voice came from somewhere, but the Grey Warden had no time or interest to find out. She was busying fight the stinky tentacles those were attacking her from everywhere. Although the Iron Rose could cut it easily, their situation wasn't going better because it never stop coming. The toxic spit of Broodmother just made thing worse. Issara rather sure they had to use another strategy.

"Get down!" The Grey Warden commanded.

Jewel obeyed. She crouched to the ground as the blue fire bursting in the hall. The smell of charred flesh was pervading in the area and the Boormother screamed in painfulness.

Issara used most of her mana to cast the spell. She felt so tired but thing didn't over yet. The familiar feeling crept beneath her skin as the raiding party of darkspawns appeared from the ground.

The Broodmother could call the darkspawn… She realized it, almost too late.

She didn't ready for melee fighting because of her tiredness, but the exiled princess saved her head this time. Jewel handled with several genlock rogues, gave her buddy time for drink Lyrium. Thankfully, the Broodmother still wounded from the fire so she didn't join the fray.

The shrill scream slashed her nerve, warned the Grey Warden about the stealthy Shriek that was sneaking behind her back. However, Issara had no chance to avoid its claw. It couldn't cut through her skin but still painful, cause her to fell over.

Never give up, even she had no chance to stand, she shot the nearest darkspawn with the gun instead. Well, in the time like this, she couldn't think of using the magic.

Anyway, a Hurlock that tried to chop her head has been thrown away. Issara noticed an arrow on its chest. Faster than she expected, Lynx and company just hurled from the narrow path and charged at the taint creatures. Two limp warriors glazed at their saviors with thankful eyes.

Wynne cast them regeneration spell, helped them to recover. Alistair, Oghren and Shale fought in the front line as Lynx supported them from the rear. However, the Exotic Warden noticed the Broodmother was moving, so she shot its head until the gun ran out of bullet.

Alas, the bullet was too strong, so it just went through the burned flesh without exploding. The disgusting creature didn't die and tried to call her 'children'. The ex-templar had to finish his wife's job by cut Broodmother's head off.

No more darkspawn, they could take deep breath in relief, at least for now.

Over the dead Broodmother, on the ledge that almost gloom with shadow, Hespith was glazing at them. "That's where they come from. That's why they hate us. That's why they need us. That's why they take us. That's why they feed us. But the true abomination is not that it occurred, but it was allowed. Branka, my love..."

Oghren recognized her. He was going to call the poor woman but she just said.

"The Stone has punished me, dream friend. I am dying of something worse than death… Betrayal…" and then, she disappeared into the darkness.

No one dared to say anything.

Still exhausted, but Issara smiled as her husband scooped her to his arms. Regardless the blood on their skin, they were kissing and holding each other in great relief.

"I thought I lost you." Alistair cried.

"And I you," Issara whispered. "But it's alright now."

However, she turned to the huntress and said firmly. "No matter what happen… Don't let them take you alive!"

Lynx didn't know how to react. She didn't know what Issara was meaning to say because she knows nothing about the Broodmother. Anyhow, it's must be important if the ultimate optimist said so serious like that.

"Ancestor's tits, this… this woman is…!" The berserker broke the silence with panic curse.

Everyone jumped, readied their weapon for another fight. "What?"

There's no more darkspawn or any monster. The redhead dwarf just was pointing at Jewel, terrifying. "She is Lady Aeducan! But I thought she was…"

"Dead… yeah, I know. You aren't the first person who said that." Lady dwarf replied.

Everyone looked at Issara, asking for the answer.

And she replied with wide smile. "We have many things to discuss, perhaps.

…

By all mean, the idea of 'wipe the darkspwan out' is understandable. But she still wondered if that worth to losing herself in the process.

In her hands, the golden crown was shining. Issara thought back about what that happened just a few hours ago.

After the encounter with the Broodmother, the company marched to The Anvil of the Void: the place that Branka mentioned in her journal. There, they found the lost paragon. Alas, she wasn't the same girl Oghren known anymore. Without any regret for what she had done to Hespith or her followers, the mad woman forced them to clear the traps those protected Caridin's anvil: the relic of Ancestor Caridin.

In the ancient time, before the dwarven had been defeated by the first Blight, Caridin was an inventor who found the way to create the golem. But after they lost their kingdom, the knowledge had been disappeared. To make the troop of golem, Branka wanted the anvil and its mystery. Her obsession with the Anvil of the Void has consumed her utterly. She could do anything for her purpose, even sacrifice her lover. She let the dark spawn corrupt one of her followers to the Broodmother because she wanted to use those 'children' to clear the traps. When the Grey Warden killed the Broodmother and there's no more tainted creature to work for her, Branka turned her sword to them instead.

There's no choice, Issara and company did what she demanded. Shale looked displease but still followed.

It wasn't easy task, but they could reach to the anvil eventually. However, the room wasn't abandoned. Caridin who was supposed to be dead many hundred years ago was still alive in the golem's form.

He told them his story and secret of the anvil. His invention didn't create the golem from the stone or metal, but it needed the soul of living creature. At first, he used only the volunteers, which Shale or Shayle from the House of Cadash was one of them. However, when there're no more the volunteers, the current king of Orzammar had people forcibly turned into golems. That was the beginning of the madness.

Regret for his fault, the blacksmith tried to destroy his invention. Too bad, his plan had been exposed before it began. He had been turned to the steel golem as the punishment.

The golem was unable to destroy the anvil. So he sealed the place to protect the anvil from falling to the wrong hand and waited for anyone who would help him finish the quest. When the Grey Wardens came, he begged her for the help.

Since Issara heard the anvil was able to enslave the soul to the stone and steel warrior, she knew what she must do. She wasn't a saint or the beast. Sometime she did something terrible on purpose but never thought about doing something that beyond her morality's limit. Anyhow, thing never be easy. Branka appeared and the argument began. No doubt, it became the fight at last.

The mad paragon wasn't alone. She had control rod and used it to control Caridin's comrades to fight against the party. Thing must be worse if the Grey Warden didn't bring Shale with her. Although she was the smallest golem in the battle, Shale was the fiercely woman. No one could stand in her way if she angry.

The fighting ended with the dead of female paragon. Oghren obvious displeased with it but he was more reasonable than Issara thought. He understood that the dead of Branka is what her doing and didn't take any grudge on the Exotic Warden.

After that, Caridin forged the golden crown for the new king. The paragon did trust her to give it to the right person as she knew the right thing to do with the anvil.

The magic anvil had been destroyed. Caridin jumped into the lava to end his immortality. The Grey Warden had only one task to complete before leave the Deep Roads.

Cadash Thaig wasn't far from the anvil. Despite the darkspawn, the party explored the place and eventually found the golem monument that engraved the name of dwarves who sacrificed their life to become the weapon against the Blight.

One of those was Shayle from the House of Cadash.

Issara didn't ask and Shale didn't say. But the Exotic Warden knew her friend had changed. When they set the camp for that night, the stone lady came to talk to her.

The conversation just went better than the Warden expected.

The reflection in the crown smiled to her. Issara looked up and found Jewel was standing in front of her. As much as she could tell, the exiled princess seemed nervous. And the Exotic Warden thought she knew why.

"Can we talk?" Jewel asked.

"Of course, have a seat." The Exotic Warden tilted her head, hint the princess to sit on the rock nearby.

Jewel did as she said, but still too nervous to form the word. They sat in silence awkward until Issara broke it.

"Worry about going back..?"

Jewel nodded. "I knew it sound ridiculous. Since they banished me to this fucking hole, I wanted nothing but go back to my home. But now, when I have opportunity, I'm going to freak out. I... Just as I said, no one is waiting for me. I don't know if I should go back."

"But you can't stay here either." No one would disagree with that, the dwarf nodded dumbly. "And… you know… someone want you to live."

"Who's that?" Disbelieve, Jewel asked.

"Well… I knew it sounds… strange, but I see dead people." Issara smiled dryly. "In the chasm, I met a ghost. He was an old dwarf. And he guided me to you because he wanted you to survive."

Jewel stared at her like she saw an insane person.

Face palm, Issara felt stupid. "I speak the true. You might don't believe it but I swear I saw your father. He looked like his portrait I saw in Orzammar. White hair, white beard and…" Damn, the ghost was colorless. She didn't know the true color of his appearance. How could she convince the woman to believe her story?

However, the princess saved her time. "I knew you're honest person, Issara. So, I believe your word."

"Well, if you say so." She didn't like the way Jewel thought, but it good enough. "Anyhow, I have a question for you too, if you don't mind."

Jewel didn't look talkative tonight, she just nodded.

Then the Exotic Warden continued. "Orzammar still need the ruler. Who is the one you think I shall choose for crown king?"

The deep blue eyes were staring at her in shock. "You want my opinion, why?"

"Because you're one of the candidates, the most potential one, I can tell." Issara said firmly. She looked so confident in her word.

"But… I'm the exile, you know? I can't just go back and take the throne. Harrowmont told me they erase me from Orzammar's history. People would never accept me back, left alone to be queen."

"If they could erase you, they could rewrite it." Still smiled, Issara always knew the way to people's heart. "You can do anything if you want, Jewel. The question is: are you going to claim your right?"

"But… How could I do that? I don't have the army or the noble to support me. What if they refuse my right?" The words flew from Jewel's mouth as she held her head in nervous.

Knowingly smile appeared on the corner of her mouth, "You're strong, honest and people love you. When I'm in Orzammar, I heard a lot of good thing about their princess. If you want, I'll help you claim the throne and I believe Harrowmont will help too."

"But I don't know how to rule. I was born as a second child, no one expect me to be the leader. Even my father, he just loved me as his doll. For my entire life, I'm on my own and did anything I please. But the ruler's job is to make people happy, which certainly not my specialty. I don't think I can handle that."

Issara smiled wider. "You know, I heard that line before. But that just prove you will make a good queen."

"I don't understand."

"Well, my people believe that we're born for do something. However, only special person could do special job. By all mean, not everyone could be king. Normal people thought to be king mean to have the power, luxurious life and ultimate happiness, but the special person could see that isn't true. You could see through those illusions, so you're special person. With your special vision, I believe you will be the good ruler and bring Orzammar to glory."

Those words sounded hard to understand for the dwarf, "I… Perhaps I need time to think."

"It will be more than two days before we reach the gate. You can take your time that long. I won't rush you."

The exile princess smiled and excused for the night. Issara looked after that rear until someone sat beside her.

"A silver for your thought, wife," Alistair said as he embraced her.

Inhaled deeply, she really missed his scent. "That should be my word, husband. How much you heard from our conversation?"

"Enough," He looked disturb. "Your word made me think…"

"About your birthright..?"

It looked like she was able to read his mind. The ex-templar didn't bother to refuse, just closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. "I don't want to be the king."

"You're special person, Ali. I believe you know why. If you're the king, you'll rule the kingdom with love and reason. You'll be the good king, I'm sure of that with all my heart."

Fondled her cheek in his hand, he knew he could do that only if this woman would stay by his side. Alas, that's impossible. "I just want to be a man who lives peacefully with his wife. To be king, and without you… I can't handle that."

"You will never be alone, Ali. Wynne will be by your side, and Arl Eamon will help you with politics. Just stay strong as the knight I'd known." Hazelnut brown eyes looked through his. Those full of love and faith that he might would never able to repay.

"How could you be so sure about it? I'm not even trust myself."

"Because you're the man I love. And I know love can do many things." She rested her face on his chest, listened to his heartbeat. "Don't worry about me, husband. As long as you have me in your heart, I would never leave your side. And I swear I'll be forever yours, no matter what happen."

How could he live without this woman? Would he strong enough? Alistair didn't know.

"I love you, Ice, with all of my heart and soul." He promised. "But I'm not sure about the king's thing. Perhaps we should let Fergus take the throne."

Full lips twisted in mischief. "Perhaps… But that's not important now. I'm tired and need some… massage. Would you kindly…?"

"As you wish, dear lady," Alistair scooped his wife in his arms and brought her to their tent.

However, Issara just left the tent with more sore in the morning.


	38. Father's footstep

I just bought an app from iTunes, and it so amazing to writing fiction from iPad. Autocorrect doesn't so bad as everyone complain, I could tell. From now on, I hope I will able to write faster.

* * *

**Father's footstep**

* * *

Thing never gone in the way she had planned, but she didn't bother about it anymore.

When the Grey Wardens arrived to the stone kingdom, Bhelen rushed the assembly to set the meeting and crown the king. Issara had no time to waste, she ran to the meeting as fast as she able, followed with her companions and the exile princess who was hiding her face beneath the helmet.

Of course, the prince tried to make the Exotic Warden look bad. He defamed her that she was Harrowmont's pet and other thing. However, Issara ignored him and announced her news. She showed them the crown as she declared her right to choose the king.

"I am the son of king Endrin!" Bhelen exclaimed. "I am the heir of the throne."

"Sorry for disappoint." She was going to enjoy this. "But you aren't the only heir the king had. There's another candidate who also have the right to be king. And she is right here."

The assembly hummed like the bumblebee. That wasn't anything they expected to hear.

Color on the prince's face gone. "What? No, it can't be possible. My sister had been exiled to the Deep Roads, she must be dead."

"Just like the Grey Warden said; sorry for disappoint you, brother." Jewel took her helmet off and stepped ahead.

Everyone shocked. Not only because they saw someone who ought to be dead, but still surprised by her confident. The spoiled princess was no more. Before them was a strong woman who knew how to stand for herself.

"But... You're criminal. Guard, get her!"

This was chamber of the Assembly, no one listen to Bhelen. The assembly steward name Bandelor was the one in charge and he didn't exactly fond of the prince.

"If the Grey Warden brings her here, so lady Jewel is in the Grey Warden's custody. No one can touch her." the old man hid his smirk very well. "You can continue, Warden. I want to know about Caridin and the crown he forged."

Smiled knowingly, Issara continued her speech. "When I met him, Caridin still lived in golem form. He forged this crown and did trust me to give it to the proper ruler of Orzammar."

"How could we know you're speaking the true? I know you did dirty jobs for Herrowmont." Bhelen still argued.

"If my word isn't enough, I still have more witnesses. Oghren; the man from warrior caste can confirm my story."

Still, the prince debated. "This man is just a drunken nug, I won't trust him."

"Well-well-well, what's so ironic?" The Exotic Warden used her annoying accent again. "You don't trust me; the Grey Warden, and also don't believe the word of the warrior. But you believed the soldiers who blame your sister on the crime without evident or even asking her for the true. I have to say that's odd."

Yeah, she knows how to make people speechless. Bhelen couldn't argue.

"Very well, let's back to our business. I'm here to give this crown to the rightful ruler. And I choose lady Jewel Aeducan to be queen of Orzammar."

Harrowmont seemed please. He bowed to new queen politely. "Glad to see you alive and well, lady... No, your majesty."

"Don't be, Harrowmont. You're my father's friend. You like uncle to me, no need to be formal." The new queen said. "I don't want to be ruler. I just want to do some good for my homeland. But when I become queen, I swear to the stone that I'll rein Orzammar as best as I'm able, for my people and for my kingdom."

Issara gave the crown to Banderlor who was going to crown it on Jewel's head.

So sad, Bhelen still didn't admit his lost. "No, I won't accept this! That crown is mines."

He and the nobles who supported him began the fighting. The guards tried to stop this madness but they're outnumbered. The Grey Wardens looked at each other and cocked their head before joined the fray.

Magic wasn't the good option for fighting dwarves, but shape-shifter was another thing. However, Issara just didn't want to use it. She and her company fought with the nobles as the new queen was fighting with her brother.

Sword crushed with axe. Jewel had never wanted this, but Bhelen gave her no choice.

"Why, brother?" She asked as their weapons smashed. "Why doing this? Is the power more important than your family?"

A war axe slammed straight to her forehead, the queen must be dead if she didn't fast enough to dodge. The outrage prince really wanted to kill her. "How dare you to ask me that? You never care about me. All the time, you got father's attention as Trian got applaud from the nobles. I never had anything. Should I care for you all?"

"I'm sorry, Bhelen. I wish I could be a better sister, but I hope this isn't too late for redemption. Stop fighting and help me rule Orzammar, Bhelen. You're smarter than me, I need your help."

The prince ,he glazed into his sister's eyes thoughtfully.

"How could I trust you? I'd known you for all my life, Jewel. I know you never kept your word. You are going to trick me again." Furious, Bhelen hurled to his sister with all might. "You must die, like Trian, like father. The stone curse you all!"

Jewel swallowed her tear. She had to be strong. "I'm really sorry, my brother."

And then, the sword just thrust into his heart. The dying prince stared at deep blue eyes in disbelieve.

"You... No, it can't be." That's his last word.

Jewel loosed her grip; let her sword and her dead brother fell to the ground. She kept looking to the ceiling, prevented the tear from flow out.

A soft hand was placed on her shoulder, she looked up and found sympathetic smile of Issara. The queen smiled back. "Even after what he had done to me, Trian and father, I still loved him. I never want this, Issara."

"Sometime, people surprise us, Jewel. You already gave him choice, but he refused. No one could blame you for his death."

She knew those words were true, but it still hard to admit. Jewel couldn't say anything, just nodded. The Exotic Warden sighed and then left her to her thought.

...

The coronation was short and a bit informal. Despite their protest, Jewel had thrown the Grey Wardens and companions a big party. However, the host disappeared in middle of the feast.

When Issara found her again, the queen was standing in front of King Endrin's statue. She touched the stone figure softly as if she thought it was her real father.

Somehow, Issara knew her friend's feeling. She thought about let Jewel alone, but a white figure that was standing beside the queen changed her mind.

"Shouldn't you in the feast?" the Exotic Warden asked kindly.

The dwarven queen gave her sad smile. "I just thought about my father. He used to sit on that throne... I bet he never thought if I would take it someday."

"You're his second child, and also a female. It's not strange if he think like that."

"Yes, I think so." Jewel's voice faded to deep inhale. "Just like Bhelen said; my father has been so kind to me. He never chided me, even when I fought and almost die in the proving. Father spoiled me, a lot."

"Mirror had two faces, Jewel. Love can create miracle, but also able to destroy the kingdom. Your father loved you so much. I'm sure he never has thought about spoiling you. Well, sometime good people did the bad thing just because they thought it was the best. I don't think any of you were blamed."

Issara always knew how to use her tongue. The queen felt better. "Stone bless me by sent you to be my friend, Issara. But... Could I ask you a favor?"

"As the queen demand, what do you want me to help?" The Exotic Warden smiled, always ready to help the friend in need.

The look in her face almost sheepish, Jewel not exactly sure though she ought to ask for the help. "I... You told me you could see dead people. Could you... Help me contact my father?"

"I'm sorry, my friend, but I couldn't do that. I just see them. I couldn't summon or make them visible to ordinary people's eyes." Still, Issara held her friend's hand and looked at the ghost nearby. "But he's here. You can tell him anything you want, and I'll pass you his reply."

The dwarf followed her glare. She couldn't see her father, but something told her he was there. "I... I love you so much, father. And I vow to follow your footstep in bring Orzammar to her glory. Despite what I have done, I would never let you or our people down again." With tear, she said it from her heart.

The dead king smiled and then nodded to the Grey Warden. "Thank you, Warden, for bring my daughter back to her feet. You didn't just help her to survive, but also brought her to life. Please, if you have mercy on this poor spirit, please tell her I love her too. In time, I'll go to the land of the death, but my love will always be with her."

"You don't have to ask me, your majesty. I'm sure Jewel knew the love you have for her. Your love would carry her through anything to the bright future." The Exotic Warden replied.

Jewel listened to those words carefully. She really wanted to hear her father's voice herself.

"You'll be fine, Jewel." Issara soothed her. "He is going back to the land of the death, but his love will always with you. Keep him in your heart and you will never lose him."

The queen broke into tear as she held her friend tight. "Thank you, Issara. I'll never forget this. When the fight with archdemon comes, my troop and I would fight for you. You have my word."

The Grey Warden just smiled and hugged back. "You owe me nothing, friend. Anyway, it will be my honor to fight beside the strongest woman I ever had met."

"Strongest... No, I'm not the strongest, you're." Shorter woman refused. "You bring me to life, physical and mentally. Without you to smile and encourage me, I must be already dead."

Those cheeks brighten with pink shade. "Thank you, but I'm not that good."

"You're the good human. Your husband is the luckiest human alive. However, this must the good time for you to go back to his side. I knew you both need warm bath and... Ahem, good sleep."

Issara blushed redder, but because different reason. "Yeah, you're right. We're going back to Redcliffe tomorrow, we need decent rest."

"Goodnight, my friend. See you again in the morning." They shook their hands for the last time before divided.

…

It's always hard to leave your friend. Issara took her time to say goodbye to the queen and her counselor for hour. Jewel also sent the messenger to Soldier's Peak for send news to Fergus. When the Grey Wardens call, human, dwarves and elves will march to the battle under her command.

It sounded epic, indeed. True be told, even in her ultimate optimism, Issara never had thought she would make it. Just a girl from another world but she did well so far. Perhaps she could relieve for a bit.

Just a bit,


	39. Would you be happier

Sorry for late update. I have so many things to do. Blame it on my boss and plants vs. Zombies.

* * *

**Would you be happier?**

* * *

The road to Redcliffe seemed to shorter than when they went to Orzammar. Anyway, time filed so fast when you're with the one you love, right? The newlywed wanted to stop the time when they could be together. More steps they took, their time running short and shorter.

In a few times they had, they shared every minute together. Every night, they made love and slept in each other arms, never left each other's side.

There's a few surprise encounters along the way, but there's nothing they couldn't handle. The Grey Wardens and co arrived to Redcliffe within three days. They're so glad to see the village and castle had already back to normal.

They walked to the castle. The first one who greeted them was Rabbit. Followed the hound was the bard who was crying in joy. She welcomed her friends with big bear hug and kiss on the cheeks (except Shale, of course), but paused when she saw the stranger dwarf who was ogling at her.

"This is Oghren." the Exotic Warden introduced. "He is a warrior from Orzammar. From now on, he will be our new companion."

After a short introduction, Leliana became friend with the berserker. She found he was funny guy, regardless his alcohol addict.

The rest of company was waiting for them inside the castle. When Morrigan met them, she sneered and bawled. "What took you so long? Do you ever realize how important your quests are?"

The witch always so harsh like this, but the Exotic Warden knew she just didn't want to let anyone see her soft side. Morrigan still didn't believe in love or friendship. It's so strange that sometime people were blinded because of what they knew.

Sten, Zevran and Millar came to them shortly. The assassin seemed so happy to see Lynx, so Issara pretended to be blind when the elves held their hands in great relief.

Anyway, the Exotic Warden took her cestus off and showed a gold ring in her left hand to her friends. They just looked at Alistair and Issara dumbly until the ex-templar showed them his ring. Leliana was the first one who screamed congratulation as Millar's face lost its color.

The girls hugged and danced in joy. They didn't hear the newcomer until that man cleared his throat.

"Sorry for interrupt, ladies. But the Arl require your presence in his study." The messenger was Bann Teagan. "Anyhow, I think the congratulation is in order. Congratulation, you're the lucky man, Alistair." He clapped the younger man's shoulder friendly.

"Thank you, Teagan." The ex-Templar held his wife tight. "But what about the Arl? I assume he regain his consciousness. Is he fully recovering?"

"Not exactly, his health is well enough to do many things but the healer suggested him to rest for a few days before take the trip to Denerim. But when you both comeback, I guess he might march to the city by tomorrow."

The Grey Wardens exchanged their glare. They knew their time was running short.

"I think we shouldn't let the Arl wait." Issara offered. Tried to not trembling, she tightened her grip on her husband's hand and smiled sadly.

"Yes, let's go." Alistair complied with shaking voice.

...

Arl Eamon was sitting behind his work table, waiting for them in his study. The old man looked healthier then the last time Issara saw him was lying unconscious in his bed. So to speak, he also looked more threaten as he glanced at the spouse's intertwining hands.

"This must be the Grey Warden who saved me and my boy. Glad to see you back, in good shape." He greeted, but his smile seemed insincere. "And good to see you as well, son. We have a lot of things to discuss before we leave to Denerim tomorrow."

_He didn't even ask my name?_ Issara frowned. Anyway, playing civil was necessary. She hid her emotion beneath diplomatic mask. "What kind of 'things' you mention, my lord?"

From Lillian's journal, this man was the Couslands' friend. He must have known a lot about white lady of Highever and might already presumed her behavior from their history. If the story about him that she heard was true, the Arl must tried to get rid of her as fast as he able.

"We we have to reunite Ferelden and gather the army for fight the wouldn't be possible if we not stop the civil war. Loghain must be stopped, and we need the new king. Alistair must take the throne."

Issara wasn't surprise. However, she still concerned about her husband. The Arl didn't even ask him what he think. Should she let this man control Alistair's fate? "I understand, but what if Alistair don't want to be king? Have you ever thought about his feeling? After everything we have done for you and your family, shouldn't you stop focusing on your damn politics and look at him as person?"

Eamon sighed, didn't upset by those angry words. Alistair thought he had the nerve of steel. "Alistair is the last of Theirin line. This is his duty."

"Duty... What's the hell?" The Exotic Warden began to blast out. Alistair had to grip her wrist to prevent her from suffocate the Arl. "He is human, not a puppet. He had emotion, need and anything you have. Shouldn't you ask him for his thought? Just a word to show your care, or at least try to understand him,"

Now, he seemed surprise. "Listen, Lillian. This is more than... Alright, I think we ought to talk, in private." The Arl nodded to his brother. "Help me take care of our guests, Teagan. I like to have a word with lady Cousland."

_So, he knew who I am... Lillian was._ Issara thought.

After the door closed, the old man glazed at her like someone looking at a snake. "I knew you, Lillian. I'm not surprise that you finally got Alistair around your finger, but I have to admit, I never had thought you would say anything like that. When was the last time you ever care for anyone but yourself?"

You don't know me, cocky. The Exotic Warden was just angry and angrier. She slapped the hard wood table with both hands and faced the old man, eyes to eyes. "There're many things had changed since the last time you met Lillian Cousland. I suppose you always have your eyes on every female noble, looking for the best for replace Anora if she couldn't produce the heir, even that might be Cailan's fault. By the same token, you must start looking for 'suitable' queen for Alistair already."

"You're smart lass, I admit." The Arl paused, stared at the gold band around her left ring finger. He recalled he saw another similar one on Alistair.

Issara's eyes followed his glare. She couldn't help but smirk when seeing Eamon's expression. "Yes, we're married. It's the proper wedding, approved by the chantry."

"As I said, I'm not surprise. But... Honestly, you made me curious. Why don't you agree to make Alistair king? I thought you always want to be queen."

"I'm not the same girl you knew, Arl Eamon. I care nothing about being queen." Her king and queen works so hard for her country. They had showed her that being important person mean the great responsibility, not luxury or happiness. Issara never looked forward for those things. "All I care is people I love. If Alistair really doesn't want to be king, I won't force him, and no one can."

The Arl totally lose his guard. He began to wonder if he was dreaming or something. The woman in front of him wasn't the arrogant Lillian he knew. What happened to her?

"But... We still need someone to take the throne, if we want to stop Loghain from taking it. That man would never help you defeat the Blight, believe me."

Damn right, Issara sighed in surrender. "Alright, you're right in this matter. But what's about Anora? She is the queen; regard the death of her husband."

"I knew she is the one who regent the throne in five years, but she isn't Theirin, plus; she is father's daughter. Perhaps you know what I mean."

Yes, she knew. If she was Anora, the first thing she would do after she was crowned is trying to prevent the rebel by executed Alistair. Even if she couldn't do that, he would never have peaceful life. So, give the throne to that woman wasn't the good option. Well, she might made Fergus king, but better not mention it until he show his face.

"You have point, I admit. Alright, I agreed with you, for now. Thing always can changed in the future."

"Glad to have your approval. However, that lead to another thing I want to discuss." He shifted uneasily in his chair. "I'd known about Grey Warden's thing. The most important one is about the taint in your blood. It's hard enough for one Grey Warden to have child. For two Grey Wardens... It's almost impossible. But if Alistair is the king, he will need the heir."

To his surprise, the Exotic Warden laughed. "You want me to step down because you believe I can't produce the heir of the throne, right? Ok, I understand. But you don't have to worry about that. I won't trouble you any longer after the end of the Blight. You're free to find the queen for him. Just don't do it when I still here and... That woman must be the good person. Don't ever choose any bubbleheads or harlot for him."

"What? Are you planing to do something after the Blight?"

"You don't have to know. Just remember that you have nothing to worry about me. We have to stop the Blight before it destroys Ferelden and the world, that's it." Issara cut him off. She didn't want to say more so she began to walk away.

But Eamon still had more to say. "I calls for landsmeet, the nobles would come to Denerim. We need their support. Like it or not, we have to play politics."

"Politics isn't my thing. Can you handle it?" In the country she came from, politics is something really complicated. The Exotic Warden really doesn't like to play in the game of power. She was simple person who need simple thing, by all mean.

"I'll do my part, but anything could happen. You ought to ready for it."

"You don't have to tell me that." She sighed. "By the way, can I go now?"

The Arl frowned. He must was confused by her reaction. "Just one thing... Keep your wedding secret, don't let anyone know Alistair already married with...you."

He crossed the line. Issara couldn't hold her temper any longer. She did thrust her combat knife on the table, in front of the Arl. "Fuck you and your politics. I won't take any command from you, and don't even dare to try."

She had only short time with her husband, but he dared to command her to hide it. Fuck him!

The old man had the nerve of steel. He didn't even raise his eyebrow. "I see you have changed."

"Don't forget it." The Exotic Warden retrieved her knife and then left. If her ears didn't fool her, she thought she heard Arl Eamon take a long exhale.

...

"What have you done to Eamon? He looked strange after you left his study." Alistair asked.

They're in the room that the host arranged for them. The naughty husband was trying to undress his wife but still had the question.

Issara just shrugged. "Well, he said something I didn't like, so I showed him how unappreciated I was."

"Really..?"

Smiled coyly, she tried to take his trousers off. "Didn't you promise to show me something you read from that book?"

"Don't get coy, Ice." He stopped her hands. "I really want to know."

Sighed, she finally complied. "I just...stabbed his table, in front of his face and in between his hands. But I swear I did it because he crossed the line."

"You did what? Maker's blood, I can't believe you did it!" Certainly, he upset. "He must think you threaten him."

"Let him think. I care none. He wanted us to hide our affair, but I'm not allow that. If you hide anything, it does mean you feel shame about it. But I never shame on our love, ever. By the way, if you want to do as he said..."

"I don't want to hide our affair." He kissed her deeply. "We already have so many things to take care, I don't want to worry about us."

"Agreed," Her word left her as Alistair already found her wetness and stroking it gently.

She felt her rear was crushed to the wall. He kept kissing her and her thought just gone with her breath. However, the ex-Templar stopped, which made her groan in furious.

"No, not so fast," He grinned wolfishly. "You need a bath, don't you?"

"Only a HOT one," Issara whispered breathlessly and grinded her hot rose to his eager sword.

"I should arrange that, don't I?"

"What are you waiting for? The bathtub is waiting there." Sultry, she strolled backward to the tub, lured the ex-Templar to follow.

She stepped into the wood tub and began wet herself, standing to show him everything. Alistair's eyes were burned with lust as he was glazing the line of water dribbling along her peaks and curves. Still looked at him, one of her delicate hands touched her red rose lightly. Her breath was shallower and heavier as she moaned his name.

He couldn't stand it anymore. The ex-templar joined her, totally naked. He took her hand off and replaced it with his. Kissed and nipped her sensitive spots as his hand worked inside her swallow flower. Issara tried to stroke his sword but she just lost her sense in the flame of blissfulness.

When she returned from the heaven, they're still in the tub. Alistair was sitting with her on his lap. Hungrily, she licked his broad chest, hinted him what she want. He didn't fail her, kept knead her tight butts rhythmic before slowly pulled her down to his hard rod. They cried in pure bliss of the contact under water.

Suddenly, someone knocked the door.

"Fuck..!" Issara groaned. "What's the hell?"

A servant carefully said from another side of the door. "The Arl arrange the celebration party tonight, and he require your presence, milady."

It's hard to find the right answer as Alistair still kept kissing and moving playfully beneath her lustful body. She had to bite her lip to prevent the moan. "I... Thank you. You can go now."

"Do you have the dress, milady? Lady Isolde is glad to lend you one."

Damn, can't she just go? "Tell the Arlessa I appreciate her offer. But I need some time to... Could you comeback in an hour later?"

"Of course, I'll be back later, milady." And then, she had gone.

"I guess we have a little time." Alistair grinned wolfishly. "Better hurry, hah,"

"Whatever you want..." She stopped thinking altogether as he slammed into her mercilessly. The warm water was frenzied by their frantic movement.


	40. Eternal night

I afraid I had writer block. I couldn't write anything for sometime so I spend my time painting some picture. You can follow this link if you want to see it: http : / mitimai .deviantart .com /art /Eternity -197009702 (just delete the space) however, it is mild nudity.

* * *

**Eternal night**

* * *

Lady Isolde didn't just lend her a pretty golden dress, but also helped her get dress and donned her hair. Issara finally realized that her hair was a lot longer since the last cutting. It's hard to take care of silky hair while she had to travel in the long roads, but Alistair loved to touch and smell it, so she had no intention to cut it again.

The gown wasn't fit with her body. So, Isolde commanded her servant to fetch her sewing kit.

Anyhow, as soon as they're alone, the Arlessa's face turned to serious. "Listen, I don't have much time to say, so please don't interrupt me. I knew Eamon had planned something to abolish you and Alistair's wedding but I don't know how. You have done so much for my boy and me; I can't let anything happen to you. But please, no matter what happen, please don't kill my husband."

That wasn't anything she expected to hear. However, if this information was true, she couldn't deny Isolde's request. "In the time like this, we ought to be ally instead of trying to stab each other in the back. Anyhow, I'll try to end this in peaceful way. You have my word."

The Arlessa tried to reply, but her servant came back. Isolde glanced at the elf girl uncomfortable as she pretended to fix the dress.

Perhaps the Arl commanded this girl to keep her eyes on his wife, prevent Isolde from trying to help Issara. In this case, he must really want to get rid of her. But why? It's because she threaten him or because he didn't believe her word. Well, probably because he simply hated Lillian. That woman caused her trouble again.

...

Alistair was leaning against the wall, waiting for his wife. When the door opened and Isolde led a woman in golden gown to him, his breath left him completely. He had never seen Issara wear make-up or dress like this before.

_Maker's blood, she was stunning!_

"Can't we skip dinner and back to our room?" He whispered huskily.

The Exotic Warden couldn't help but chuckle. "And make our host pissed? Nah, I don't think that's the good idea."

The Arlessa left them alone. At first, Issara thought about telling the Arl's plan to her husband. But on second thought, if she told him, he must try to protect her or even fight with Eamon. Alas, they still needed his support against Loghain and the Blight, and fighting with the ally before the battle end wasn't the smart thing. To make sure about the old man's intention, she liked to have more information.

But it turned out that Alistair had known her better. He knew when she had something in mind. "What's wrong, Ice? You're looks...uneasy."

"Me? Oh, nothing, I just... This dress is too fit. I feel like I'm in torture device. Besides, these high-heels are killing me." One good thing about being the honest person is people would believe your word even you're lying.

"Too bad, I love to see you in this kind of attire. But if it's bothering you, I better help you out of this dress as soon as we able." The ex-Templar banter then stopped wondering and then led his wife to dining hall.

Once they arrived, most of their comrades (exclude Shale and Rabbit) were there. As far as Issara could tell, they looked enjoy themselves already even there're the strangers in the party. Especially Millar who was drinking a lot of wine like she hadn't drank it for years.

Zevran and Lynx were sitting beside each other. They said; absence made the heart grow fonder. Their relationship must have been changed after those days. Well, the Exotic Warden wasn't the kind of girl who believes the power of love would able to turn the playboy to family man. She didn't sure if the assassin would able to be 'bound' with someone, but it wasn't her call to make, by all mean.

Leliana was popular than Issara ever had thought. She surrounded by people who listened and admired her song. The bard loved attention, she could play her song all night if anyone request.

Regardless her Mage ability, Wynne seemed to get along so well with Ser Perth; knight of Redcliffe. Issara overheard them were talking about wine and whatnot. But if she didn't imagine it, she thought they're flirting. It seemed the old Mage still had her charm as Zevran remarked.

Looked up to another Mage, Issara surprised to see Morrigan was chatting with Sten. Er... Actually, the witch was the one who did talking while the qunari was busy eating big pile of cake.

No doubt, Oghren was in the bliss with unlimited alcohol they serve. He called for another drink as fast as Millar did. It seemed they did dual. Issara began to worry for their liver. Perhaps she ought to ask Wynne for some potion that able to cure alcohol poisoning.

"Oh, cheeses, I love cheeses." Alistair cooed. He was sitting beside his wife as Bann Teagan was at her another side. The ex-Templar enjoyed in simple pleasure like a child, which Issara found it adorable.

Anyway, her eyes still wondered around the table. Arl Eamon and his wife was talking with some noble men those would accompany them to Denerim. As far as she had known, they're supporting the Arl and the bastard prince. But one of them ogled at her terribly, which made her want to break that long neck with her shin.

Nervous, Issara tried to calm herself with wine. But suddenly, she touched the goblet and short vision flashed into her mind. She saw an elf servant pouring something into her drink. Issara hurried put it down as if it was burning her hand.

Arl Eamon was playing dirty game that he thought perfect. Well, it could be true, but he messed with wrong woman.

Issara didn't want the problem, but she really couldn't let him get away with this.

"So, is there anything interesting while I was away?" The Exotic Warden asked Zevran who was sitting in opposite side of the table.

"There's nothing spacial, dear Warden. We ran across a few groups of darkspawn and bandit, but none of them could bother us." He replied normally. "I prefer hear your story. Lynx told me some about your wedding. Can you..."

The Arl cleared his throat, distracted the attention. Everyone looked at him, so Issara took this opportunity to change her goblet with Teagan's. The assassin and the bard noticed her action but the Exotic Warden just winked at them.

Long speech of Eamon was the announcement. The old man said about his schedule in the landsmeet and declared Alistair's right in the throne. However, in between those words, Millar's face turned dark violet. The elven Warden hurried walked out the hall. Worried, Issara followed her friend without any thinking.

She didn't know that a strange man she wondered about follow her trace quietly.

On the summer garden, Millar stopped walking to take a breath. Judge from her face, she must was trying to stop her tear. The Exotic Warden knew her friend was in very unpleasant mood. Then, she walked to sobbing Warden and placed her hand on that delicate shoulder.

"Millar, what's going on?" Issara asked worrying. "Are you alright? Should I call Wynne?"

The pale moon didn't give her chance to hide her expression. Even she tried her best, Millar smiled bitterly. "No, I'm fine. I just...drink too much."

"That mean you need some medicine. I'll ask Wynne about it, but you must go back to your room first. We have to march to Denerim tomorrow. You better take decent rest."

Issara tried to carry Millar to her bedchamber, but that woman swept her hands away. "Shouldn't you be with your husband?"

Wondered, the Exotic Warden stepped back. "Did I do anything wrong?"

"No, you never do wrong. You're a good, smart and beautiful woman. You're an angel for me. Alistair is a luckiest man I'd ever known." Alas, those words came with sob. It didn't make Issara feel better.

She was too sweet, all she had for Millar was friendship and never acknowledge about the poor elf's true feeling toward her. "You can tell me anything. Please don't keep your problem to yourself. Just tell me and I'll help."

Millar groaned in her throat, desperate cried. "Please, leave me alone. You can help me nothing."

"Oh, Millar, don't keep me out. Tell me your problem."

If only Issara did love anyone else, she would speak it without hesitate. But Alistair was also her friend and she hate to see either of them heartbroken. She really couldn't say how much she loved Issara. "Look, Issara, I need to be alone. Tomorrow, I'll be fine."

Disagreed, Issara didn't want to leave her friend when she looked so fragile. "At least go back to your room. I don't like to leave you alone in this dark."

"All right, I give up." Millar said angrily. "I'll go back to my room. See you tomorrow."

The Exotic Warden looked after her worrying, still felt unease. She took long exhale and held her forehead as someone enclosed his arms around her waist.

No, this man wasn't Alistair. His smell was different and also shorter than her husband. Issara twisted and chopped his jaws with her elbow. The man didn't have much time to whine as the Grey Warden did bend his neck to her and hit his abdomen with her knee repeatedly till he coughed up blood then fell unconscious.

Calm down, Issara stopped to investigate her attacker. He was the man who ogled at her in the party even she was with her husband. Somehow, she felt dislike him at the first sight, but still had no idea why he molested her.

There's easy way to solve the mystery. She did scan him with her gift. The vision she saw was he had the deal with Arl Eamon. The old man would grant him a great profit if he could 'remove' the unsuitable wife of soon-to-be king.

The vision didn't tell her everything, so Issara had to put all clues together. By her assumption, Arl Eamon commanded his servant to spite her drink, probably for disarm her. When the drug work and she lost ability for protecting herself, the old man would do anything to find opportunity for this scum to do his dirty job.

It doesn't sound smart, at least for Issara. The plan had plenty of errors. Eamon must have planned it in hurry.

By the way, those led to the old question: why Arl Eamon hated her or Lillian so much? What if... What if he knew Lillian was an apostate?

It's not the good thing, but sounded make sense. He probably knew that Lillian wasn't just an illegal mage but also a blood Mage. She could control people's mind include Alistair. Her presence would be a very big problem for the new king. So the Arl must eliminate her with all cost.

Issara hated complicated thing. She decided to confront the old man and made thing straight. If they want to eliminate Loghain and the Blight, they must did trust each other. She couldn't go to battlefield with someone who might try to stab her in the rear.

Anyway, there's another vision. Issara saw some memories of the unconscious man. He was in the room, alone with Lady Lillian, trying to harass her, but she froze him with magic and bottled his head with wine bottle. Even though his action was cruel, he could get away because no one believes Lillian.

For the noble folk those include the Couslands, Lillian Cousland was an insane person. No one believes her word, just like that happened to Cassandra of Troy. The Exotic Warden began to understand why her avatar didn't fond of her family.

The worse thing was; there're other encounters. So many times, the idiot noble folks treated the poor lady like a whore. This man must take this job because he thought abusing her was a piece of cake.

Issara wanted to cut his dick and burn it to ash.

Left that man to wounded (or dying, he could rot there for all she cared) alone, Issara returned to dining hall. Half of the way, she met Arl Eamon and her husband. They're running to her way like the archdemon chasing them. As soon as his eyes found her, Alistair pulled Issara to his arms and explored her body as if he was finding something.

"Are you all right, wife? He didn't harm you, did he?"

"What do you mean, husband? Who will hurt whom?" Confuse, she asked.

"Arl Eamon told me... His servant saw a couple was...flirting in the garden, and...One of them looked like...you. I knew you would never cheat on me so I thought that man must force himself on you. Then I..." Indignity, Alistair stammered out.

"Oh...that man," Issara glanced at the old man mischievously. "I suppose he tried, but I don't know for sure because I knocked him out before he could say...or do anything. You know what will happen if anyone made me mad, husband."

Now she knew. Arl Eamon's plan must be: first; drug her to reduce her physical efficient, second; lure her to somewhere private and let that jerk have his way on her, third; bring Alistair to crime scene and make him think she cheat on him. No doubt, the ex-Templar would be heartbroken. He would never accept her back, and the apostate would be eliminated forever.

Wow, that sounded like soap opera.

By the way, she sick and tired about these games, better do it straight.

"Arl Eamon, I think we need to talk.

...

They went to the Arl's study. The old man and the spouse set the meeting in middle of the night. Even Alistair didn't sure what's going on, he knew his wife had something serious to speak. So, he didn't try to make joke as Issara and Eamon staring at each other like they're going to start the fighting.

As always, the Exotic Warden talked first.

"Perhaps our last conversation wasn't clear." She began. "I don't think we would work well together if we still have doubt in each other. So, I will make it clear this time."

"What are you talking about?" Arl Eamon asked. He was sitting in his chair, exhausted. Surely, he knew what's coming.

Issara glanced at her husband. She worried about his feeling, but had no many choices. "You said you'd known 'Grey Warden's things'. Have you ever known why they're in need for stoping the Blight?"

"Ice... That is..." Alistair jumped from his chair.

"I knew it was Grey Warden's secret, but I have to tell him. He needs to know I'll never be a threat of your throne."

_This can't be good._ Alistair thought.

The old man was looking at her doubtfully. "No, I'd never known about it."

"Very well, I'll give you the answer." And then, she told him everything about the relation of the taint gods and the taint warriors. The Arl shocked, he was unable to find proper word to reply.

After long moment of silence he spoke like he was drowning. "You knew one of you is going to die for killing the archdemon and you still..."

"No, not one of us, I'll take the final blow." Issara argued.

He was staring at her like he saw a ghost. "You will... What? Who are you? Lillian would never say that."

Hum, he knew Lillian very well. The Exotic Warden wondered if she ought to come up with something or tell him the truth. What if she makes the story of long lost twin with different personality? Nah, that doesn't sound create.

The truth will set you free. She decided to tell him her true story. He might don't believe it but that wasn't her problem.

Arl Eamon's jaws were hanging open as he listened to the Exotic Warden. Her story sounded unbelievable but made sense. When she'd done telling, he didn't sure if he felt easy or not.

"So, you're going to sacrifice yourself for saving us and your sister." Breathlessly, the old man asked. He felt guilty for tried to hurt this woman.

"I don't think I'm going to die." She lied. "But yes, I'm going to leave this world after the end of the Blight, one way or another." Just thinking about it made her heart break. Issara still didn't know if she would able to survive losing Alistair.

The Arl wasn't the fool. He'd known how to read people, and he knew the Exotic Warden telling the truth. This woman had heart of gold. She deserved respect and more. "I'm sorry Issara, for what I have done to you. I'd known Lillian was a blood Mage, so I thought you..."

"Don't mention it." Issara refused. "You just did what you think it best. We both hope the best thing for Alistair, I can't blame you. Besides, this would never happen if I tell you the true since our late meeting. You aren't only one who be blamed."

"You're very good lass. I'm glad my plan didn't work." Eamon bowed to the spouse. "And I apologize to you too, boy. I won't blame you if you're going to hate me for planned to dishonor your wife."

The ex-Templar raged after he learned about Eamon's cruel plan, but if his wife forgave the old man thus he couldn't say much. "I can't believe you tried to... You should help us fight Loghain for redemption."

"I'll do my best. You have my word." The old man complied.

Issara felt better. Without her by his side, Alistair needed every help he can get. His life would easier if he had ally with Arl Eamon.

"Well, this is a bit late. Perhaps we all need to rest." She offered.

Two men agreed. Alistair escorted his wife to their bedchamber, didn't let her far from his side. He wasn't just still worried if anyone wants to harm her, but also didn't trust himself to control his temper. If not because her calm, he would kill Arl Eamon and his accomplice for what they're trying to do.

Anyway, party still not yet over. From the corridor, the spouse heard Leliana's lute was playing lovely ballad. The ex-Templar's brows arched in curious as the Exotic Warden grinning mischievously.

"Don't you remember that you still owing me the dance?"

His anger just faded into the night wind. "I thought I can get away from that."

"Not a chance, Ser knight," Gracefully, Issara slipped into his arms. This probably was their first and last dance, she wouldn't waste it.

"Your desire is my command, but don't blame me if I stamp on your foot. I hadn't done this since I was ten."

That was probably since he was sent to the chantry. She felt bad for him but didn't mention it. "I'm not better. Last time I danced with my father is a very long time ago. I'm not sure if I can remember it right."

His brows arched. Issara knew he love to hear her story. "It's a party. One of a few parties my family could go together. Mostly, my mother always ill and has to stay at home. That night was a good night. They played beautiful songs and the dancing just lovely. My mother couldn't dance so my father has to dance with me. If I recall it correctly, that was when I was ten."

"Really..? You're doing better than me, by all mean."

They were moving together, in each other's arms. So close, both physical and mentally, the world seemed to stop spinning.

"It's because of you. I don't think I can dance like this with anyone but you."

Alistair smiled. Her scent that he loved so much was wafting through the air. She smelled like summer breezes, which rare to find in Ferelden. "I wish I can stop the time. I don't want this night, or this song to over."

She understood his feeling completely, because she thought about it too. "Every parties must come to the end, husband. Nothing last forever."

"Sometime, I hate it when you were right."

Suddenly, the music stopped playing. New enjoyable song started. Issara smiled and pulled him to another rhythm.

"I once heard: dancing is the series of movements, involving two partners, where speed and rhythm match harmoniously with music. Sounds familiar?"

The ex-Templar arched his brows. So, she hinted him by warped one leg around his waist. Her grin looked mischievous and nasty.

"Hum, that's explain a lot why I never want to dance with male." He replied with wolfish grin and squeezed her tight butts. "You're not being able to quite get enough of it, are you?"

"If I remember correctly, you aren't better." She stroked his sensitive member through fine fabric pants with her lower sector and got very good respond.

Alistair groaned as he was kissing her hungrily. He had to admit that he never get enough of her either.

"Ali, bedroom..." Issara commanded.

"I afraid we can't go that far." He gentle pushed her to nearest dark corner. Even though he knew they weren't exactly in private and anyone could walk in anytime, the idea of taking his wife right here and now was too exciting to waste.

Keening, he pulled golden dress over Issara's hip. He chuckled in surprise to saw her black thong underneath.

"A married gift from Lea," She smiled sultry. "Do you want to know what Zev gift is?"

Alistair blinked.

"It's a book that banned by the chantry. I'd not read it yet but I knew its concept. I used to read that kind of book back at my world."

"Hum, now I knew why you looked so naughty for a virgin."

"And you don't like it?" She asked in mocking tone.

He grinned as her nimble hands unlaced the string of his trousers. "No, I love it. And I want to fuck you, now and here."

"Less talking, more fucking, could you?" Lustfully, Issara nipped his lower lip, made him yanked small piece of lace away from its place.

Without warning, he entered her forcefully. Slamming her to the wall, their lovemaking was raw and animalistic, drove by desire of love and lust. There's no sweeter sound than her moan of pleasure when he was driving her to climax.

Involuntary, Issara moaned in her language. Alistair didn't understand it but still aroused by the sexy tone. They went wild above the edge. With last powerful thrust, they exploded to the white bliss together.

Unable to stand still, they were interwinding and kissed as their hearts were calming down. However, they froze from head feet as someone yelled.

"This is outrage!"

Disentangle from each other, they hurried set their attire. Issara needed more time with her panties so Alistair shielded her from anyone who might come into them.

No, there's no one found them. The ex-Templar peeked from behind the corner and saw Bann Teagan was carried by two guards. He couldn't walk and was speaking inconsequent phases like a drunken man. Judged from their direction, the guards were carrying the noble man to his own bedchamber.

"Oh, my sweet mother," Issara swore. "I totally forgot that!"

"Forgot what?"

"I saw with my gift that Eamon's maid spited my drink, so I changed my goblet with Teagan's. Now I knew what that drug was for. Oh, poor Teagan,"

Alistair's angry came back again. "Thank the Maker for your gift. I can't stand the thought of... I'll kill Eamon if that happen to you."

That thought frighten her too. She might unable to live if other man dishonored her. However, she didn't want to think about it. "Let's go to bed, Ali. I'm tired, and I have to clean...myself."

The ex-Templar couldn't stop grinning. He tried to scoop her to his arms but she stopped him first.

"I almost forgot it. We still have something to do tonight. Would you help me, husband?"

"Had I ever refuse you, wife? Just say a word and I'll do anything."

Issara smiled and kissed him soundly. "Come this way, I'll fill you the detail while we're walking."


	41. Haunted

Sorry for the late. I'm busying with DAII demo and some hobby. You could blame everything on me this time.

Another thing: Sometime I had strange dream, which granted me the story to write. The dream had changed just recently and it made me change the ending of this fanfic. Well, let's say it will go farther than I expected. The last boss isn't archdemon... Oops! Just wait and see, :D

* * *

**Haunted**

* * *

Somehow, Denerim looked different than the last time she was there. Most of all, she thought she had changed.

It's just about time for Loghain and his dogs to show up. Rendon Howe followed the corrupted general to the Arl of Redcliffe's estate like the venture follow dying animal. Accompanied by Ser Cauthrien who was always with Loghain, they faced the Arl and his company without showing any fear.

Alistair was standing beside her, gripping her wrist. But that wasn't necessary. Issara felt incredible calm as she looked at the old maggot. Of course, she still wanted to kill him, but she could wait for the right time.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, of course.

The conversation didn't go well. Neither Loghain nor Eamon step down from their position. At last, the general and co just retreated with nothing. But Issara didn't think she would see the last of them soon.

However, the fate always had something to surprise her.

Just after Loghain left, an elf name Erlina who claimed herself as queen Anora's handmaiden showed up. She told Arl Eamon that her mistress has been captured by Rendon Howe.

The queen wanted to know about her father's action, so she went to the Arl of Denerim estate that occupied by Howe to interrogate her father's right hand. Unfortunately, the bastard had his own plan. Instead of giving her the truth, Howe caged her inside the estate. At last, the queen sent her handmaiden to the Grey Wardens, asking for the rescue.

As always, Issara asked for opinion of her comrades before make the decision. And yes, they have different reaction.

"This sounds like a trap to me." Alistair said.

Morrigan frowned. "I cannot believe I will agree with him. But this could be the trap."

"I don't know. It could be the trap but worth to risk. The queen will be an important ally if we help her." The Exotic Warden disagreed. Anyway, she asked the other for comment.

Sten, Rabbit, Shale, Wynne, Lynx, Zevran and Oghren didn't help much. But Leliana and Millar seemed to have something in mind. Their face paled as the paper when they learned about the place that Anora has held captured.

Worry, Issara asked. "What's wrong? You two look..."

The elvish Warden glazed everyone awkwardly. "I- you knew my story before I became the Grey Warden. I never tell you the detail but... The bastard who destroyed my life was the son of the Arl of Denerim. And the place he took us was..."

"And that was the place I found the document that changed my life..." The bard confessed.

The silence was awkward. Even Issara couldn't find the word to say. She just held Millar's hand until the elf could smile again.

"If you don't want to come with me, I understand." The Exotic Warden offered.

But another female Warden disagreed. "We have to sneak into the estate, so you need me. No matter your plan is, I won't let you go to that place alone."

"I'll go with you too." Alistair protested. He felt slightly jealous on two women even he didn't know Millar's feeling toward his wife.

"No, you won't." Issara refused. "Loghain must have plan for you. It will safer for you to stay here. I won't risk your life for anything."

He tried to protest, but she wasn't let him.

"Morrigan, Lea, Zev and Millar, come with me. We need to set the plan. Sten and Rabbit, you two keep your eye on Alistair. Don't let him out the estate, understood?"

The qunari and the hound agreed.

"Good, see you later. Wynne, tell the chef to cook something less fat for me. I'll stop to by some wine after the mission end." Her smile was hard to fathom. Even they felt ominous, no one dare to say it out loud.

...

The raven filed above the Arl's estate before swooped down on the big tree. It glazed around as if it's observing the situation. There'er the labors were protesting for their wage in front of the estate, but received no answer from Howe. No one notice the bird even it filed off the estate's wall.

Outside the stone wall, the Grey Wardens and co was waiting. The raven turned back to Morrigan and reported.

"That elf told the true. Howe hires those people to repair the estate but deny paying them. Most of guards have to take care of the strikers, there are only a few guards patrolling around the place."

"I told you everything I knew." Erlina retroact. "That Howe hires many guards recently. They do not know each other, so you can disguise as one of them by wear these uniforms."

Sounded too easy, Issara couldn't stop being paranoid. "Alright, Millar, Zev and Lea are coming with me. Morrigan, you're standby here. If there's anything happen, you sneak inside to report us or go back to the estate for call the reinforcement. I trust your decision. Hum, I wish we have walkies-talkies."

Everyone blinked in curious, but the leader just pushed it aside. They disguised themselves with guard's uniform and walked pass the mob.

Just like Erlina said. The guards didn't pay attention to other guards except they're friends. As long as the party didn't attract their attention, everything seemed too easy. At last, they found Anora's room without bloodshed. However, thing never be easy. The door was locked by magic and only way to unlock it was killing the Mage who cast the spell. Unfortunately or not, that Mage seemed to glue himself with Howe. If they're going to find him, they probably found them both.

One way or another, they had to invade farther into the dungeon. The Grey Warden had no many choices.

Millar led them to the dungeon. Farther she walked, her face seemed pale. When they reached the last door on the farther side of corridor, the elvish Warden shook uncontrollably.

"Millar..." Issara asked worrying. She held the elvish Warden's hand tight.

"This room..." She gripped that hand more firmly. "That bastard raped me in this room. It... It's my first time."

In her homeland, the sexual harassment is unacceptable without any exception. Issara's blood boiled with rage. "Tell me you killed that... (too rude to write: author)"

"Like dog he was." Millar replied fiercely.

"Good, so you have nothing to fear now. I swear, as long as you still with me, I won't let anyone hurt you again."

Her tear didn't shed because the sorrow, but with happiness. If only this woman love her in the same way she was, Millar could do anything. "Thank you, Issara. I appreciate this."

"Let's go then. Sooner we leave this place, the better." Issara pushed the door. Even though she wanted to kill Howe, her friend's feeling was her top priority.

And because she cares, everyone ready to follow.

…

There's no one in the room. Furnitures were damaged and dirty for some time but there's no any trace of cleaning. The dry blood path on the rug and floor told unpleasant story. Issara didn't to stay too long but a chest near the bed caught her attention.

She unlocked the chest and found a big surprise. There're Grey Warden's documents inside the chest. One page described about how to cook the joining ritual. Many pages were the names of Grey Wardens who lost at Ostagar. These documents should be the top secret. How could they end up here?

"Sorry, girls. But it seems we have to do some 'fishing'." The leader said. When everyone stared at her confusing, she cocked her head. "It's slang; mean we have to find something or someone without any clue. These papers are Grey Warden's document. I want to know how it had been here."

"Is it easier if you just use your gift?" Zevran offered.

"I'm not sure. There're too many memories within this room. I able to sense only the intent one, which I bet it won't be good thing."

Millar's face lost its color. She feared if Issara saw her past. Even though the Exotic Warden would never disgust het because of it, she still felt ashamed. "Let's search another room. I remember they caged us in the room behind that door. And... The door to the dungeon is nearby."

For the rapist, the crime was done when it done, but the victim had to life with it till the last of her breath. Issara knew how bad her friend felt, so she followed that suggest.

True as her word, there's another room behind the door. But before the party could do anything, a guard who was watching something behind the iron bar saw them. He walked to the Grey Wardens, asking them a question, but a pair of arms from the cell grabbed his neck.

After a moment of useless resistant, his neck broke and the mystery man dragged his body into the cell.

Still alerted, the party did draw their weapon to the man who took the guard's armor. However, Millar raised her hand to stop them.

"I can sense it. He is a Grey Warden."

The raven haired man smiled and bowed. "Yes, I am Riodan. Senior Grey Warden of Jader. And you...must be Duncan's last recruit. Yes, you match his description. Thank for creating such a distraction, sisters. I was looking for it for a week."

"Um, never mind. I'm Issara and this Warden is Millar. How did you end up here?" Curious, she shot him with questions.

"As king Cailan's request, I and Grey Wardens from Orlais marched to Ferelden for assistant to fighting against the Blight. But when we arrived to the border, they didn't let us pass. I as a Ferelden's native, crossed the boundary to investigate about what was happened in Ostagar."

The more Grey Wardens, the better. Issara was glad to hear that. "How many Grey Wardens those came with you? And where are them now?"

"They were waiting near the boundary when I part. I do not know where they are now, and it will take too much time to send word to them. I am afraid there are only three of us in Ferelden to stop this Blight."

"No, there's another Grey Warden in Arl of Redcliffe's estate. I don't think it will be enough but there're all we have." The Exotic Warden said thoughtfully. "But how could they capture you?"

"I did not realize that Loghain recognize me. His men drugged me and brought me here for 'interrogation'."

That's make sense now. "So, these are yours?" Issara returned him the documents. The old man received it gratefully.

"Yes, thank you. I feared Howe had destroyed them. They are records of Duncan's recruit, the joining ceremony... Those who lost at Ostagar," Grief, Riodan's expression seemed down.

Swallow her grief down her throat, Issara trying to keep calm. "There's more time for talking later. We have another matter to attend and must go farther. Will you come with me?"

"Sorry for cannot join your quest, sister. I think I need healing and some rest. However, I won't bother you to assist me find the way out of here."

"Wait," The Exotic Warden stopped him. "You should go to Arl of Redcliffe's estate. Alistair; another Grey Warden is there. He will assist you anything he able."

"Thank you again, sister. I will go to the estate as you suggest. See you later, then." The raven haired man bowed again and left.

The party advanced to the dungeon. There're more guards those just too stupid to back off. Issara could feel Lillian's dark energy as she burned the prison's keeper with her light-blue fire. The poor man turned to dust in a few seconds.

Something didn't right with her left arm. Issara realized it briefly. She had no time to think while the other doors opened and more of guards hurled to them.


	42. Siamese cat song

I apologize for the long delay (again). Alas, next chapter probably late again because the arrival of DAII. However, I'll never abandon my fiction (even though I already have some idea about my Howke). You have my word.

**Caption: **the violent in this chapter is rather… extreme.

* * *

**Siamese cat song**

* * *

They made blood path toward the deeper part of the dungeon. The party killed every guard and freed every prisoner they met. More victims and corpses Issara saw, more merciless she was.

One of the prisoners was a son of Bann Sighard. It seemed he know Howe's dirty secret so he was captured and tortured. His father might don't know his fate but the young man sworn to tell Bann Sighard about the Grey Warden's rescue. She would have his vote in landsmeet.

That gave her the idea. Issara took note to meet those nobles before the vote begin.

More than once, Thai people drove the powerful countries off their land by used only talented diplomacy and some luck. Now this was the time for Ferelden people to taste that skill.

Anyway, she tried to not think about it right now. There're a few more rooms they didn't explore. Howe must be in some room nearby. The long vengeance would be ended at last. She couldn't help but thrilling.

And then, they met at last.

In the largest room, Rendon Howe was waiting with two mages and three mercenaries. Issara couldn't believe she would ever hate anyone as she hated this maggot. Just thought about the Couslands, she almost forgot everything but the need to cut that treachery tongue and let him suffer.

Those icy eyes glanced at her emotionlessly, which only ignited the irate fire inside her chest. The Exotic Warden groaned like tiger.

"Well, look at this. Bryce Cousland's spitfire, all grow up and still playing the man." He snarled. His voice sounded like the poison to Issara's ears.

"Those words came from the man who had to sit to peeing. Isn't it ironically?" Hand on the gun, she replied calmly. Her face seemed solemn but her eyes were glazing around to explore the room. Those mage were casting their magic as the mercenaries ready their swords and crossbow. Howe prepared such a nice hospitality. He must do aware of her visiting.

This was the trap, indeed.

"What?" Of course, the Arl had never known about Issara or Lillian's gift. He shocked at her word. "How could you...?"

"Yes, I knew. I even knew your second and third child isn't yours. Your wife has the affair with one of your men. Sadly, you didn't know that until eight years ago. Well, perhaps you shouldn't long for your rotten piece so much because it would never work if your partner didn't scream anyway. Yuck, that's sick."

Bewilder, Howe almost lost ability to talk. "You... You little..."

"Thank for compliment." Issara's sarcasm never had the limit. Her companions couldn't help but chuckle. However, her voice suddenly changed. "You know what? I don't come for chit-chat. So... Shut the fuck up!"

The thunder struck. Howe's men were jerked backward and fell to the ground, totally dead. There's a hole on their head. Their boss stared at them in disbelieve.

"What kind of magic this is?" He yelled.

The answer was another bang. Issara shot his right kneecap, sent him to dirty floor. "Nope, it's not magic." Calmly, she reloaded the gun while Howe was struggling to flee.

Fiercely smile appeared on the corner of her mouth. She waited until the crawling man almost reached the door, and then shot another kneecap. Of course, he cursed Lillian and the Couslands, but she didn't angry. It seemed her emotion totally faded away since she grabbed the gun. She was beyond rage right now.

One by one, she shot his hands, shoulders and ears. She reloaded more round of bullets to shot him in other spots those she knew it would hurt but not kill too fast. Eventually, she finished Lady Eleanor's work by shot his balls.

Howe was nothing but dying bastard. He kept cursing the Couslands even though Issara aim the gun at his forehead.

"Maker split on you! I deserve more."

Instead of angry, the Exotic Warden chuckled. "You know, you're right." She returned her gun to its holster.

Everyone stared at her in surprise, but didn't say anything. However, every question went away after the leader unsheathed the Iron Rose.

"Gun is the fast way to die. Blade is slower option. I hope your tainted blood won't ruin my baby. And oh, perhaps I ought to do it formally. My name is Issara. You killed people I love, so prepare to die!"

Howe was confused by those words. His jaws were hanging open as the icy blue blade ran through his flesh. The blood flowed from his torn neck like the red fountain.

Issara stared at the bodiless head blankly. His eyes still opened wide in shock. Involuntary, tear shed as she spoke. "This is for you, mother and father."

The companion looked at her in sympathy. Millar wanted to sooth her but she knew there's only Alistair could do that, so she just said. "Let's get out of here."

The leader smiled, slowly regained her old self. "Yes, let's go. I had enough of this unholy place."

...

When the door opened, they found Anora was dressing in guard's uniform. The queen explained that she wanted to conceal herself from the people who want her harm or people who want to take her back to her mad father.

Although those excuses sounded ridiculous, Issara didn't add any comment. She was too tired to think so she just led everyone through the front door.

But before she touched the wooden board, a black cat ran to them. Morrigan shifted to her human form to report. "There is bad news. I saw a group of soldiers are marching to this way. They shall reach the estate in any minute."

"Who is the leader?" The Exotic Warden asked.

"I do not know the name, but I remember she is the woman who followed Loghain to Arl Eamon's estate."

So these must be Loghain's men. They might do no harm to the queen, but they surely not hesitate to hurt the Grey Wardens and co. Issara tried to think about the solution quickly. "How are many of them and which kind of soldiers they are? Is there any Mage with them?"

"They are around fifty or more. Mostly warriors, but they are also having crossbowmen and mages." The witch reported as if she was a scout.

"Fuck!" Issara swore. That's so many. "Everyone, retreat to the back door."

Alas, they're too slow. The front door opened and the band of soldiers marched into the estate. Ser Cauthrien: Loghain's right hand led them to there. By any mean, she didn't seem surprise to meet the Grey Wardens.

"You're under arrest, Warden."

"What?" Issara protested. "What had I done wrong and who gave you right to arrest me? Were you the city guard?" She was annoying the warrior, but her hand was finding something in her pocket.

"Everyone have right to arrest the criminal for the guard. You've slaughter the good people and caused many problems. I'm just a good citizen who wants to help the city guard protect Denerim's peace." Deadpan, the warrior snapped.

Damn, this was the trap since the beginning. She didn't know what's they has planned but this doesn't look good. Just like most of her people, she thought the prison is unholy place that best to avoid. Too bad, she's also uncertain in their victory if they choose to fight. Loghain's men were well armed and armored, even Cauthrien wasn't just having a good look.

"I'm not criminal and those men I killed weren't the good people." If the force couldn't help, use brain. "I came here to rescue the queen. She is here. You can ask her."

Anora didn't expect that. However, she found the way out quickly. "Help me, Ser Cauthrien! This Warden is kidnapping me."

"Fuck, you're such a treachery bitch like your father!" The Exotic Warden mentally groaned. She was too angry to say anything.

Ser Cauthrien was taken aback by surprise. Surely, she didn't expect this. "Your majesty...? I should know you Grey Warden were untrustworthy. This is last call. Surrender or die,"

In other circumstance, Issara would fight. Alas, the strange feeling within her body grew stronger. She almost couldn't move left arm or use the magic. With her condition and temporally companions might unable to handle these soldiers. By all mean, she didn't want to die here.

"Alright, I surrender. But you must let my friends go." She had no choice; the Exotic Warden sacrificed herself to protect her friends.

Morrigan opened her month to say something, but Issara smiled and wink. So, everyone stopped trying to make any argument.

Cauthrien seemed to plea. She let most of the Warden's party out the estate, except Millar. "Except the Grey Wardens, everyone is free to go. Boys, take their weapons."

Issara didn't want them to capture Millar. So she refused a soldier who tried to put the shackles around her hands. "Hey, I said you must let my friends go. What's happen with honor word?"

But the warrior didn't meet her eyes. The Exotic Warden heard female scream. She turned back and saw Millar was lying on the floor, blood scattering from brutally wound on her head.

Another soldier tried to pommel Issara with his sword's hilt, but she blocked his attack with forearm. Her blood was boiling with rage. "I thought you're a good woman, Cauthrien but I see I was wrong. Alright, if you really want to be my enemy, so be it!"

Issara threw a silver ball to the floor. When the metal shell broke, the chemical smoke exploded in the area. They coughed and lose eyesight. The soldiers didn't see what's coming until sharp combat knife slit their throat. However, when the mages tried to cast the spell, they got shot.

From her experience, Issara had learned that magic barrier wasn't bulletproof. Her gun could kill most of creatures in this world. Well, knowledge is power, by all mean.

The gun sound was trembled in the hall. The soldiers never had known this kind of weapon and fear in what that small thing might able to do. Even when the smoke faded and Issara hid behind the door frame, they didn't dare to attack her.

Cauthrien was the first one who dared to step to Issara's hiding. Her men followed close, half fear, half brave. The Exotic Warden who was trying to reload the bullets with tremble hand could sense their movement. The fear captured her heart but she would never give up. She sworn to protect Millar, so she would never let her friend was taken.

However, she heard someone scream, and followed with familiar battle cry. Curious, Issara peeked from her hiding.

Sten, Shale and most of her comrades were fighting against Loghain's men. The golem couldn't pass through the gate so she destroyed the wall to make her entrance. Even they're the best of the general's men, they couldn't compare with irate qunari, dwarf berserker and moody golem. At last, the entire unit has been wiped out.

The Exotic Warden cried with happiness while Wynne healed the wounded Warden. Millar's wound stopped breeding but still unconscious.

Lost the entire of unit and was stabbed by Zevran's dagger, but Cauthrien still alive. She tried to creep to her sword that was lying on the ground but someone kicked it away.

"I thought you weren't a shameless or brainless bitch, and I still do. And because I'm not a heartless, I'll give you another chance. Think again about your master, if you think what he had done is good; we'll meet again in the fighting." Left the soldier like that, the Grey Warden returned to Arl of Redcliffe's estate.

...

Issara couldn't believe that Anora still dare to show her face in Arl Eamon's estate after she betrayed the Grey Wardens and company. Most of all, the former queen still wanted their help against her maddening father.

Fine, if this bitch wanted to play politics game, she would play along.

Arl Eamon thought the queen would be great ally, so he greeted her as best as he able. Anora had a room in the estate which she called the Exotic Warden to meet her.

"You're Lillian Cousland, right? We never do formal introduce but I heard a lot about you." The queen said. "I knew your mother. She was so good to me like my own mother and I love her for that."

Issara just raised her brow. In diary, Lillian mentioned Anora was a slut.

"What Howe has done to your family is wrong. I hope he got what he deserves by your hand." Still act like she didn't notice the Warden's reaction, Anora kept talking. "I knew the Grey Warden lost their title when they join the order, but I want to help you get your land and title back. If only I have power..."

_Yeah, you liar, the arch demon is unicorn if I believe you._

"I appreciate your care, your majesty." Anora wasn't only one who could play this soap opera. Issara marked her disgusting behind politics smile. "But... Well, I still curious about what you had done when Cauthrien tried to capture me. If you don't mind, I need to know your reason. I mean... I thought you're great queen, so I never had thought you would do such a thing like that, no offend."

"Oh, I apologize. You must understand that I didn't want Ser Cauthrien to know why I was there in the first place. I did it to protect myself."

_And the elephant is flying through that window. Had this bitch ever stop lying?_ Issara thought.

"I understand. Anyhow, you must call me for something. Is there anything I can do for you, your majesty?" Anora would never believe that she didn't angry about the queen's treachery, so she played angry but forgave when she got good answer. If it goes as her plan, the queen would think she was a stupid, which good for Issara in many ways.

Anora smiled too sweet. "I knew Arl Eamon called the nobles for landsmeet. To confront my father and unite the land, he needs someone who had the right on the throne. He probably makes that bastard... I mean Alistair, king. But I think you know better."

"Wait... You'd known Alistair?"

"Yes, Cailan knew about his half-brother and he told me everything. My husband might think about contact him but he never had any chance."

Now she knew why the poor king insisted to send Alistair and the last Cousland to the tower instead of the battlefield. Even though he never says anything, Cailan still concern about his half-brother, or at least the last of his line.

"Um, alright... Let's back to our business. Don't you mean you want Arl Eamon support in Landsmeet?"

Still didn't know she was trapped, Anora smiled wider by the Warden's ignorant. "Arl Eamon is important man, but I want your support."

"Me?" Issara shouted in fake surprise. She never had thought how good actress she able. "I'm a Grey Warden. We wouldn't suppose to relate in politics."

"With the coming Blight, Grey Warden will be important. People will heed your word. Besides, you aren't only a Grey Warden, but also the Cousland. Your title is good enough to get the noble's attraction." Anora explained.

"Oh, I see. If it happens in that way, I'll support you. Alistair doesn't want to be king. Ferelden must be better under your rule." Issara was honest person, but she could be damn good liar if she want.

"I'm glad to hear that." The queen took long exhale. She felt very please. "However, I shall not take more of your time. Goodbye and see you later, then."

The Exotic Warden hid her smirk as she bowed. "Goodnight, your majesty."

Nobody could force Thai people to do anything against their will and get by. It just about time before Anora got what she deserve, plus tenfold.


	43. She couldn't

This is short chapter, but important.

* * *

**She Couldn't,**

* * *

She didn't know how long she passed out. True be told, she didn't exactly care about it. Only thing she cared was the face she saw when she awoke.

On the couch near her bed, Issara was sleeping. She seemed so tired and older than before.

Back to the camp, the party didn't want the leader too take watch because she always fell asleep if she sit still longer than five minute. She must pace around the camp to keep awake but that only disturb the companions. So she didn't take watch unless it was necessary.

However, if Issara didn't sleep in her tent or in Alistair's arms, she would sleep in sitting position, holding the Iron Rose. It seemed she would relax only when her husband was around. Somehow, Millar thought her lovely friend had something in mind.

Issara was Issara. She always listens and helps but never burden her problem on anyone, even Alistair. That was something that Millar loved and hated in the same time.

Still felt light-headed but the elvish Warden tried to get up. She accidentally swept some bottle from the night table, which woke the light-sleeper up.

"Millar? Good to see you awake. How do you feel? I'll call Wynne if you need any..."

But she held her hand to stop the question. "I'm fine. Just feel a bit dizzy but it will be better in time. Don't panic." It's not exactly true, but she didn't want to make Issara worry.

Still, the Exotic Warden frowned. "I'm sorry, Millar."

"What is that about? I afraid I can't see why you apologize." Millar smiled as Issara sat down on her bed. She knew the woman saw her as friend, but a little hope always remain.

"I sworn to protect you, but I let them hurt you like that. I'm really sorry."

Issara looked so sad, which made her heart ache. "Please, don't mention it. You didn't know what they would do. Besides, if I'm here instead of some dungeon, it must because you saved me, yes?"

"Thank to Owen. Our good blacksmith made me a lot of grenades, smoking bombs and bullets. Without those little things, I would never hold those bastards long enough for the reinforcement's arrival."

"Owen; the blacksmith in Redcliffe's village... I talked to him and his daughter once. They spoke about you highly." She took Issara's hand, but found it's so cold. "Are you catching a cold, Issara? Your hand is almost freezing."

But she didn't answer. "You slept for several hours. It's pretty late now. Perhaps you're hungry. I'll bring you dinner."

Millar didn't let that hand go. "I... Issara, don't you mind if I ask you something?"

"What is it?"

For her entire life, she had only few people she ever loved. That woman was only one who accepted her without caring about her past. Millar really wanted to repay her even that might cost her life. "Could you let me take the final blow?"

Millar was a Grey Warden. It's strange if she knew their secret. Issara wondered only why she said that. "No, I would do it. Unless I fall before that, you and Alistair wouldn't take the final blow."

"If Alistair becomes king, he will need a queen. You would make a great queen, Issara. Alistair and Ferelden need you. But I am nobody... Your life is worthier than mines."

Sigh, the Exotic Warden decided to reveal the truth. "I don't think so. Well, I'll tell you if you promise that you would keep it secret, especially to Alistair. I don't want him to know."

"Yes, I promise. Please tell me."

This must be a few time that Issara unable to smile. Still kept looking the floor, she spoke calmly. "This body is dying, Millar. It's just about time before it become a corpse."

"What?" Shock, The elf was speechless.

"Today, I surrendered to Cauthrien because I couldn't move my left arm and also couldn't use magic. Morrigan told me that was because Lillian's soul leaving the body for too long. Even I'm in this body, it would never enough. She will brew some potion to keep this flash effective but no one knows how long the time I have." Although the time was short, Issara still looked incredibly calm. "Even though I survive the Blight, I'll die eventually. So, I want to make it worthy. I'm willing to die if it would save many. Isn't that a best way to live and die?"

"How could you say that? You're dying but... I don't want you to die." Millar cried.

"No one live forever, Millar. And the live worth living is the life that does something good for the other. Just a blow and I would save the entire world and people I love. Does it good enough to sacrifice? Besides, it's not mean I would really die. I just leave this world and return to mines. Well, it would be a lonely life without Alistair but I would handle it... I hope,"

Issara talked like it was easy, but Millar couldn't stop crying. "Why you don't tell Alistair?"

"If he knows, he won't let me work and he might treat me differently. I want him to remember me in the way I am, not a pathetic woman who is waiting for the death."

Millar looked into those eyes. They're still brighting as always. Despite the sorrow, she tried to smile back. "I love you, Issara. You're the best...friend I ever have. No matter what happen, I'll never forget you."

"Thank you. It means a lot to me." The Exotic Warden held that hand tighter.

However, the fate always had surprise for them.

...

When she left Millar's bedchamber, it's pretty late. Issara found her husband was waiting in the hallway. He seemed sleepy and moody.

"What took you so long?" Alistair asked as soon as he saw his wife.

However, Issara had known him better. "Why's so grim, husband? Something's bothering you?"

"You don't know? Oh my dear lady, you caged me here for all day. Had you ever thought how much I worry for your safety? Do you know I almost die with concern when I saw Sten carry Millar back? How could you go to Gnawed Noble Tavern to play politics with those nobles instead of comeback to me? I knew it's your duty but..."

"Alright, alright, I get it." Alistair really had a lot to say when he furious, wasn't he? "For the goodness, Ali. Can we talk elsewhere? I don't want to disturb Millar."

She didn't have to say it twice. The knight carried her on his shoulder to their room. Behind the door, the couple looked at each other in mix emotion.

"I'm sorry." Issara said. When Alistair was angry, she felt like her body was smaller than usual.

He had a lot to say, but that wasn't important at all. The ex-Templar just held his wife tight. No matter what Morrigan thought about him, he wasn't totally stupid. He knew something horrible happened with her body. How could he not know that she stopped breathing in middle of the night?

But she kept it secret just like she always did. Issara was too good to burden anyone with her trouble even that might mean her dead.

"I love you, Ice. You knew that, right?"

"I love you too, Ali." Those words never came without sting attach. She knew he had something in mind.

"I could do anything for you, even set Jowan free from his cell. But please, don't command me to stay behind again. I want to go with you as far as I could. Though it was the gate of the black city, I would follow you till the end."

The last night in Redcliffe, they helped the blood Mage runaway because Issara believe he deserve second chance. True be told, she surprised that her husband was willing to help.

"You have my word." She smiled and kissed him. The feeling of him wasn't intent as usual because her condition, but it's good enough.

Soon, their clothes were shattered on the floor. Alistair carried his wife to the bed, placed her on soft mattress without stop kissing her. However, he hid his tear as he found her skin was so cold like a dead man.

She couldn't stay with you. Alistair told himself. She had to go. Just make the time you share great. Don't ever let her down.

...

That night, he looked her was sleeping. After the moon touched the middle sky, her breathing stopped. Alistair just cried and cried until he fell asleep.

...

I've seen her smiling

The sunlight is shining on her now

She couldn't stay here

She knows you won't let her down

.

You knows she couldn't stay here with you

You know she had to go

Even though she couldn't stay here with you

You knows you're not alone

(She couldn't: Linkin Park)

...


	44. Carry you home

Carry you home

Life in Alianage never had been luxury but at least peaceful. Any problem they had always came from the outsider, mostly human. Shianni had every reason in the world to hate them.

Even now the human still was bringing chaos to her home. Although she couldn't blame them for the plague, she didn't think they're trying to help. Those Tavinter mages set the quarantine and kept many of her people in their hospice even most of them didn't sick. She knew they're up to no good, but she could do nothing. In the time like this, she really missed her cousin. If Millar was here, she must believe and help her. Soris; another cousin didn't believe her. Every day, their argument would end as she running from home, just like today.

However, there's something changed. When Shianni opened the door, she literally bumped into someone. The visitor moaned and held her forehead which red because the contact with wooden door. Behind the elf, there're three human, two elves and a dwarf were staring at Shianni in shock.

No one say anything until the unlucky elf recovered. "I never expected good home welcoming, but this is a bit outrage."

"Millar, it's you!" Forgot every angry, the red haired elf held her cousin with all her might. "I thought you're dead at Ostagar. Oh, I'm really glad to see you again."

"And you greeted me by bumping the door at my face? What would happen if you don't happy to see me?"

Shianni rolled her eyes. "It's accident. You know how stupid I could be when I was angry."

Their teasing was quite cute but Issara had no time to waste. "Sorry for interrupt, but I afraid we have quest to complete, if you don't mind, of course."

The red haired elf glanced at another redhead suspecting. This human looked different. She never had seen any human smile so bright like this before. "Who are these people, cousin?"

"They're my friends. This woman is Issara. And this man is Alistair. They're Grey Wardens like me." Millar introduced them. "This is my cousin. Her name is Shianni."

"Nice to meet you." Issara said friendly.

But Shianni ignored. "You came in the right time. I need your help, Millar."

The Grey Wardens exchanged their glare. At this point, problem couldn't surprise them anymore.

"I heard about the plague, but something told me it isn't that simple." The Exotic Warden remarked. "The 'Free' favor from the slavery country sound 'Odd' to me. I have no evident but... Well, I think I smell a rat; a big, dirty and bloody one."

Those words captured Shianni's interest. "I thought human doesn't care about us elves."

Issara shrugged. "Racism is suck."

This human didn't seem bad. The hothead elf thought. "Perhaps we ought to talk. Come inside and take a seat, we have a lot to discuss."

...

"Please help, my cousin is sick." Shianni cried as she carried Millar to the hospice.

There is more patient every day, thus no one surprise to see new sick elf. Anyway, the healer leered at beautiful patient and smiled too sweet. "Don't worry. Your cousin is in the good hand. We'll take very good care of her." He nodded to the guards.

Two big guys carried Millar to the back room. Their gesture had changed as soon as the door closed. They set her on one of many empty beds in the empty room.

"Now-now, you little pretty thing, we'll give you first 'treatment'." One of the guards said as he unbuckled his belt.

"What? But you supposed to... Where're other patients?" Bewilder, the elf asked.

The big guy pointed to the door nearby. At any rate, they seemed to be carefree in their doing. "They're in another room. You'll meet them after we done with you."

Millar scoot backward. "But... Don't you afraid of the plague?"

They laughed. "Oh, poor girl, the plague is what we made up for our 'plan'. We would never catch it."

"Thank for information." Someone said as a shoelace tight around his neck.

Before anyone could react, the attacker turned around and lifted the victim up. In the hanged man's position, he struggled for awhile until neck's bone broke and the breath left him. Another guard had no chance to help or anything because the dagger in his chest stopped him.

Issara, Lynx and Zevran sheathed their blades. The leader gave the elven Warden a hand. "Are you alright?"

"Perfectly safe, thank to you." Millar replied. "This is too easy. I thought there're more guards inside."

"They're, but not for long after we sneaked in here. The elf guard at the back door didn't so appreciate in his job, so I blinded him with coin. Well, I took a few of them down but Lynx and Zev did most jobs."

"I won't take the credit." The Antivan refused. "I never had known that you could kill a man with your shoelace. Perfectly silent and clean killing you did. Perhaps I should learn to be assassin from you."

"I can't. My grandpa made me sworn to not teach this to anyone. I won't give up my word even for you." Issara refused.

If she gave her word, she would keep it. He knew his stubborn Warden too well, so he wouldn't bother her. "All right, I won't trouble you."

"Well, let's search the room. They mention the elves are in another room, I'll go checking it." The leader gave the order. Anyhow, Millar followed her.

"I hope my father is in there. Shianni said they took him and elder Valendrian a week ago. I'll kill every of them if anything happen to him." The brunet elf said as she picking the door's lock.

The room was full of elves, but not in good condition. Men, women and children were caged in gruesome dens like animal. Issara was really angry by the picture.

"What's this? How could someone do to the innocents like this?"

The elves looked desperate, but changed as they realized that the newcomer wasn't the guard. "Help, please let me go. I swear I'm not sick."

"You don't have to ask." The Grey Wardens hurried unlocked the dens. However, Issara told them before they left. "Run out through the back door, don't let the guard or Tavinter mages see you."

"Thank you, milady... You saved me again." A familiar elf said, saluted to Issara with great respect.

Surprising, the Exotic Warden asked him. "You're... Sorry I can't remember your name, but your face is familiar. Had we met?"

"I used to live as servant of a fat merchant. One day, during his trip in Highever, he flogged me because I broke his goods. I might have been dead if you didn't stop him."

"Oh, I remember now. I paid that merchant for your debt so you freed from him. It feels like a year ago." Issara remarked with laugh.

"I'd returned to Denerim just the day Ser Grey Warden came here to find new recruit. He said he might go to Highever to meet my savior. Didn't you meet him?" The elf asked.

In Lillian's journal, she mentioned Duncan never been in Highever the day Howe attacked. But it seemed Issara had changed the story by saved this elf.

The guardian said she would change the world. Perhaps he was right.

Anyway, the elf recognized her fellow Grey Warden "Millar, it's you! I can't believe my eyes."

But she had no mood for formal greeting. "Where's my father?"

"They took him and elder, just yesterday. I don't know where they had taken them to. I'm sorry I can't help." He answered.

Millar felt like her knees turned to jelly. She couldn't stand still. Her friend had to carry her. "What's the... Why this happen to me?"

"I'll help you find him, but you must stay strong. Crying doesn't help, Millar." Issara scolded.

That brought her back to reality. "Yes, you're right. I must keep focus."

They returned to main room. There, Zevran gave the leader a note. "This is an order from someone. True be told, I don't like the sound of it."

Bring three healthy males, four females and two children to the warehouse before tomorrow morning; these were the words in the paper. It sounded like a shopping list, but order for people instead of stuff. Issara thought she knew what happen.

"Slavery is forbid in Ferelden, but not in Tavinter, right?" She asked.

Bewildered, her companions stared at her in disbelieve. "Do you mean... Maker, this is outrage! We have to stop them."

No need to say it twice. Issara had extraordinary sense of freedom. "Of course, we will stop them. Go get Alistair and Morrigan outside and go to this warehouse. I won't let any of those slavers leave Denerim, alive."

...

Issara always kept her word.

The blood Mage who in charge of Tavinter slavers tried to negotiate, but she didn't listen. The Grey Wardens killed every last of the slavers in the warehouse. As her companions released the elves from the cages, the Exotic Warden checked the mage's corpse and found dealing documents. Loghain sold the elves to the slaver for gold that he used for his army.

How far anyone could go for power? There're many examples in history but she always fail to understand human's nature. Teyrn of Gwaren had been corrupted, she knew that. But she never had thought he could be eviler than he already was.

This must had been stopped. Someone would die in the Landsmeet, one way or another.

Whatever, there's always beautiful thing to cherish even among the darkness. Picture of Millar was crying in relief after found her father warmed Issara's heart. This was what she fighting for.

"I can't thank you enough." Valendrian: the elder of Denerim's Alienage praised her. He exhausted from the days in dirty den, but still strong enough to walk.

The Grey Wardens and co helped everyone back to their home before returned to Valendrian's house. The elder was old friend of Duncan. He told them about the old day and gave them dagger that the dead Grey Warden gave him long time ago. Somehow, Issara felt this wasn't coincident.

After finished their business that evening, they stopped at Grey Warden's secret vault that hidden in denerim's warehouse for find something useful.

The secret door opened. First thing Issara saw was Duncan. His ghost was waiting for them in the room before faded to armor stand nearby.

The Exotic Warden knew what it means.

Followed the clue, she found a large shield that had golden griffin emblem on top. Alistair cheered in delight as she showed it to him.

"Duncan's shield, I never had thought I'll see it again!"

Issara didn't surprise. "I think he want you to keep it. He will be proud, I believe."

"Did you...see him?" He always banter her about this ability, but this time was different. Just like the other, he wanted to contact people he lost.

His wife just smiled.

There's no gap between them. He knew what she mean and grateful for the gift. "Thank you, Ice. This means a lot to me." And then, he kissed her.

Millar cleared her throat. "I'll take this armor, if you don't mind."

"It fine, I think." Issara replied with red cheeks.

"Yes, we should grab everything useful and back to the estate. I'm already hungry." Alistair tried to make joke. He knew how the elven feel toward his wife, but he would keep it quiet for Issara's sake.

The brunet Warden gave him creepy look.

They stared at each other fiercely. The Exotic Warden sensed unfriendly emotin, so she tried to break it. "Nah, we're exhausted from the all-day work. Let's go back to get some rest. There're more jobs to do tomorrow. We ought to rest while we still can."

No one ever refused her command. The rivals stopped arguing and went back to work.


	45. Je T'Aime

**Je T'Aime**

* * *

Sometime, world was spinning too fast.

It felt like an hour ago that the Landsmeet began and ended. The living legend had been dead under his best friend's sword. His daughter lost her status and was caged. The bastard prince was willing to take his father's throne and united Ferelden to fight the Blight.

When she realized it; she found herself in the eve of the last battle.

They went to Redcliffe to gather the army, but found the tainted creatures were raiding the village. After killed those creatures, they sped to the castle and found more trouble.

Riodan found the large horde of darkspawn led by the black dragon. He believed they were marching to Denerim. To save the city, the army must march at soon as possible. However, it had to be tomorrow morning.

The Grey Wardens had the meeting in Riodan's room. He surprised to know the three already knew Grey Warden's secret.

"I'll make the final blow." Issara announced.

"Your bravery warms my heart, but you do not have to. I am the senior Grey Warden here, thus I should be the one who make final blow. The taint would not let me suffer for too long." Riodan refused.

He was Duncan's friend, took the same joining and started his line of career together. Duncan told Alistair that he began to hear his calling just before the battle at Ostager, thus it doesn't strange if Riodan was going to share the similar fate. He was willingly to die with honor by kill the arch demon.

Although Issara disagreed, she understood his decision. She would admit her fate if he succeed.

Her presage didn't think so.

No matter what would happen, this journey was going to end. Even though Issara didn't fear to die, the thought of losing the man she love still frighten her.

Everyone loves happy-ending. Alas, she didn't have many choices. Only choice she had is using her last night with Alistair. The Exotic Warden and her husband left the meeting to go to their bedchamber, but they were stopped by Morrigan.

"Can I have a word with you, in private?" The witch asked.

Morrigan wasn't someone who always asks for anything. If she said that, she must have serious reason. So Issara obeyed. "Ali, could you...?"

Word was unnecessary, Alistair just kissed her. "I'll wait in our room."

She smiled, looked him walkaway. When she turned back, Millar already disappeared. Anyway, the witch didn't give her time to curious.

"Let's go to my room."

...

Alistair closed the door. Involuntary, he released the breath he didn't realize that he held. Lean his forehead on the wooden plank, the knight felt like he was going to lost all of his strength.

One way or another, he was going to lose the love of his life and he could do nothing about that. He felt hopeless.

Warm tear shed from his eyes. He was crying desperately until small hand placed on his shoulder. The ex-templar jumped and turned to face the invader.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Millar was there.

He didn't sure if he should angry or ashamed. "How could you...?" Did she see him crying? This couldn't be good.

"I sneaked behind you. It's just... I want to speak with you without Issara's knowing."

"I never had secret to my wife. Anything we say, she would know it eventually." Still, the ex-Templar didn't want to talk to Millar.

"But I," The elven Warden sighed. This wasn't easy on her either. "I want to know. You're there when she said she would make the final blow. You knew she would die... Why weren't you say something?"

The anger raised in his heart. Although he didn't want to say, words just did gush out from his chest. "Because I'd known her, Ice would never change her mind. She wants to save her sis and all of us. Besides, she couldn't stay here."

Surely, Issara would never tell him her secret. Millar wondered how he figures it out. "You knew...?"

"How could I don't? I fight, travel and even sleep with her. How could I don't know she is changing? I asked Wynne and she thought that body is dying from the absence of Lillian's soul. Ice had two choices; rotting in this shell or die bravery. I knew she would choose the last choice. If I say anything, she will concern. I want her to leave without worry about any of us."

Perhaps she underestimated their love. The bound between them was strong and there's no space for the outsider.

"I'm sorry." Millar cried. "I shouldn't say it. Please forget what I just asked."

By the way, Alistair couldn't angry on her. "I knew you have feeling for her. Well, who's not? She is the best woman I'd ever known. A woman who was too good to be true and going to leave us too soon,"

Silently, they cried for the light among darkness that was going to fade.

...

The room that the Arl of Redcliffe granted to the witch was smaller than the Grey Warden's but comfortable. Morrigan greeted her friend with the potion that kept Lillian's body fresh.

However, Issara knew this wasn't only reason that brought her here. "There's anything wrong, Morrigan?"

She might imagine it, but she thought Morrigan was going to cry. The swarm Witch had red eyes and began to sob as she spoke. "I know what would happen when the Grey Warden kill the arch demon."

Issara's expression didn't change, not even move her brows. "Can't say I surprise, you always knew everything.

"I also know the way out. No one will sacrifice tomorrow if you accept my offer."

She knew the witch spoke the truth, but she just smiled. "I appreciate your offer, no matter what it is. But I can't accept. You knew I'm going to die anyway. I prefer not to waste it if I can use it to save people I love. This is the best solution for everyone, isn't it?"

"Best solution...! I cannot believe you said that." Morrigan exploded the anger. "The taint essence would kill Grey Warden's soul. 'twill kill 'you'. You will be dead, not just go back to your world."

Issara still smiled. "That doesn't make any different. Either way, I can't stay here."

"You..." The witch lost her words. "You are mad, foolish and..."

Issara just smiled and held her hand.

That's it. The witch broke down. She held the Warden and cried like a child. "You are only one I want to be friend or even sister. I do not want to see you die. I-I..."

"No one live forever, Morrigan. We couldn't change the truth. But I admit that I like you. And... If you like me, promise me that you will live well even after I gone."

Emotion made her weak. Morrigan tried to tell herself. Alas, she couldn't stop crying. "This is madness. You make me soft. I-I hate you."

The Exotic Warden smiled wider.

"If you will not accept my offer, can I ask you a favor?" This was first time Issara saw her witchy friend seemed timid. When she nodded, the swarm Witch continued. "Take me with you to the last battle tomorrow. No matter what happen, I want to follow you till the end."

"I'm glad to hear that." She shook that hand in promising. "Whatever will happen tomorrow, I'll always be your friend."

Morrigan cried again, but because another reason.

...

It was pretty late when Issara returned to her husband. Alistair was sleeping on the couch, obviously took a nap during waiting for her.

She always loved this picture. Alistair looked so young and peaceful when he slept. Alas, the Grey Warden's nightmare didn't always give him peaceful night.

The fear gripped her heart. What would happen to him after she passes away? What if she did wrong by put him on the throne? How could he cope with his responsibility? What if he has to walk into the Deep Roads alone? What if...

"Shh, what's wrong, love? Why are you crying?" Alistair woke up. He knew she was sad even in sleep. By the best of his ability, the ex-Templar tried to sooth his wife by holding and kissing her.

"I-I just... I'm sorry, husband."

"Why? Did you burn my socks again? I told you don't have to do it just to make me stop wearing them." He tried to make a joke.

"I'll burn them with your feet inside if you don't stop making silly joke!" True be told, his banter made her smile but this wasn't the right time. "I'm serious, you know? Don't distract me or I'll forget what I've plan to say."

"Do we have to discuss it?" He nipped her lope playfully.

In another circumstance, she would welcome his assault, but she was serious this time. "Stop, Alistair. I must say it before..."

The truth never goes away. He had to admit. "All right, I'm listening."

Her people believe in reincarnation. Your friend might use to be your sibling in another life. Your dog might use to be powerful politician. People meet and separate because some mysterious reason. If you have the good departure, you might meet him again in better circumstance.

So, she wanted to make then last goodbye.

"I've done so many things along our way. Intend or not, but sometime I did hurt you, mentally or physical. I'm sorry for anything I've done... And for anything I can't do. I'm sorry for can't spend my life time with you, for can't give you family you desire and for can't follow you to the Deep Roads. I'm really sorry, Ali."

Slowly, she prostrated on his feet. Said goodbye to the man she loved most in Thai people's way. For her, Alistair wasn't only husband. But he was her life, her heart and everything. She didn't care if she would die in tomorrow or not. Life without him doesn't better than death.

Tomorrow, she would march to the last battle. There's no turning back.

Alistair lost his word. He could do nothing but pulled her back into his embrace. Without second thought, he undressed her. They spent their last night in each other's arms, with all tenderness and love they share.

…

Je t'aime

Je t'aime toujours

I am forever yours

.

Sweet dreams

Sweet dreams mon cher

You're always in my prayers

.

Softly

Sweetly

Wrapped up in heaven's arms

.

Sailing

Soaring

Over the moon

Gathering star dust

.

Be still

Be safe

Be sure

.

Je t'aime

Je t'aime toujours

.

Wishing

Praying

All of your dreams come true

.

Please remember

Where'er you are

My heart is with you

.

Sweet dreams

Sweet dreams mon cher

Always in my prayers

.

I am forever yours

Je t'aime

Je t'aime toujours

(Je T'aime: Kelly Sweet)


	46. Sweet Sacrifice

Kudo to Lywinis, without her suggestion I can't update my story.

* * *

**Sweet Sacrifice**

* * *

The Iron Rose was glowing as its owner pulled it off the dark spawn's chest. They're in Fort Drakon; Denerim's dungeon and the highest building in the city. Surrounded by hundred of tainted creatures and nearly face the arch demon, but Issara felt incredible calm.

Alistair, Millar, Lynx and Morrigan followed her to the final onslaught. In fact, all of her comrades wanted to come along but she had to leave them at the city's gate to prevent another wave of dark spawn from flooding into the city.

It seemed Fergus come too late. He and his men stuck outside the city. However, the result was he helped flanking the dark spawn.

Riodan did his best to fulfill his duty. He lured the arch demon to the fort. Without fearing the death, he jumped from the rooftop of the tower to the flying black dragon's rear, cut its wing which caused the tainted god to fell on atop of tower. Alas, he lost his life in the process. The dragon did fling and he fell from above.

His body was crushed as it hit the ground at the feet of high tower, in front of his fellow Grey Wardens those were running through the gate. Issara and co came too late for him, but she still had time to save the rest of Ferelden.

The massager told them the gate was saved. Jewel, Lanaya and other allies came to assist them. So the Grey Wardens could focus on the arch demon.

Now, they're fighting on the top of tower. Most of dark spawns were dead, but the black dragon still dangerous. Alistair tried to flank the old god, but it grabbed him instead.

Hard bullet hit dragon's head. It didn't make much damage but enough to draw attention to the Exotic Warden. The dragon threw the Knight away and then growled. He remembered this woman.

"Come on, you bastard! This is between you and me." Issara roared.

To return the favor, the tainted god opened his mouth to burn her with his flame breath. But Issara was ready for this. As soon as that mouth opened, she threw a pocket into it. The arch demon automatic bit it and the grenades inside exploded. Big blast looked like incredible firework.

Just like ordinary reptiles, he didn't die so easily. His mouth totally was destroyed but the brain still function. When he was wriggling, his body and tail swept the soldiers filed to many directions.

This was the time she waiting for. Issara ran to that shagging head, evaded those claws and tail, slit that long neck in the process.

The dragon stopped wriggle. He was lying helplessly, waiting for the end.

"This is not over, mortal." He whispered. Somehow, the Exotic Warden thought she was only one who heard it.

"We'll see about that." Without hesitate, she plunged the Iron Rose deep into dragon's head. There's the white light gushed out from the wounded. She couldn't move but felt no pain.

There's nothing but peace inside her mind. Issara saw her husband was walking to her. He was yelling something she didn't hear. Millar and Lynx were crying like they're going to die with her.

But she smiled, and said last goodbye. "Live well, my love. Be the good king... Maybe we will meet again in another life."

As soon as her words faded, the arch demon's body just exploded. The force swept everything off the area. The army those were fighting outside the city's wall could see the white bombard from the top of Fort Drakon.

When the leader died, the horde lost their will to fight. The dark spawn fled from the battlefield, and the Ferelden won.

People cheered gleefully even when the rain falling from the dark sky. Only a group on the top of Fort Drakon was crying in sadness. There, the witch of the wilds was holding her only friend, crying over the lifeless body. Beside her, the king was moaning like he was going to die. His love had gone, and she took everything good in his life with her.

Her small hand was still holding the hilt of shatter blade. The Iron Rose still blooming, but didn't shine anymore.

...

"This is not the time for rest, sleepy child." Someone said.

That voice sounded familiar. Issara opened her eyes to see, but found nothing but the white space. Perhaps she came back to the demon's space. Well, it made sense. Win or not, the game was over. Where else she could go?

"You are right, but only a half of that."

Who was this annoying woman? She tried to focus on the white haired woman who was standing nearby.

"Flemeth," She was surprised. But on the second thought, she just shrugged. "I knew I wouldn't go to heaven if I die. But if I see you again, I must fall to deeper level of hell than I thought."

The witch laughed. "You and your sharp tongue really does you credit. But no, you are not dead yet. Your consciousness is trapped in the Fade. There are many friends of your trying to free you from this place, you know?"

"Pardon...?"

"You helped so many spirits along your way. They want to help you in repay of your mercy. Alas, only one who can bring you home is yourself. Lillian think she is clever than anyone, but she underestimate you."

Issara scratched her head. "No offend, but I don't understand."

"Not for long you will be." Flemeth never spoke anything easy to understand. "I like you, child. You are the strongest among these girls. In the change that is coming, you will be the best catalyst. So sad, I cannot bring you back to Thedas."

"Wait a minute... Don't you mean you know who I used to be? Are you...? Don't answer, I don't want to know."

The witch smiled too sweet. "Clever child..."

"Whatever, but why you can't bring me back? Surely, you're more powerful than the demon that brought me to Thedas in the first place." True be told, she didn't hope to get any help from the witch. But it wasn't hurt to ask.

"Power is not everything. Your body is still in the hand of your demon. She will come for you shortly, just wait."

She saw no reason to fight with old enemy, so she just crossed her arms in annoying. "Well, I don't mean to be rude or anything. But why're you here if you could do nothing?"

"I am able to do many things, child. But this is not my scene to play. I only came for give you the word of advice." And then, the white haired Witch was slowly faded away. "Find your way back home. It will not be easy, unless you know the trick."

Strange light flashed, caused Issara to close her eyes. When she opened her eyes again, she found the grinning demon.

"Hello, Grey Warden." The demon in red greeted sarcastically. "I have to say that I'm really impressed. You've done better than I expected."

The red demon's glee boiled her blood. Issara really wanted to suffocate that long neck. Alas, she had no power in this place. Only thing she could do is playing along. "Doesn't that mean I win?"

"Yes, you won the game. Now I'll have Alistair, title and glory life."

What does it mean? "What? How could Alistair involve with this? What are you planning to do with him?" Involuntary, the ex-Warden grabbed the demon's collar.

Red demon smirked. Her face was changed, and then became another person. Issara released the woman in shock.

Before her, Lillian Cousland was standing. Green eyes glanced at her avatar coldly. "I'm amazed. You always knew everything, but you never had doubt I and demon is same person. I'd plan it since I knew my fate. For years, I kept looking for suitable helper from all of Andrasete's avatars. I'm glad I choose the right choice."

"How could this possible? You came to me in demon's form and... Did you tell me the truth about my father's deal?"

"Fake deal couldn't bind you, Issara. Everything I told you was true. In fact, I never lied to you. I just didn't tell you everything." Lillian smirked.

"But..." Her curious quickly went away as she remembered the journal. "Of course, the blood magic ritual you did! You killed people for power. You let your family and most of Highever die. You... You selfish bitch,"

"No one ever did anything for me. Should I care for them?" The noble woman denied. "If you fail, I'll possess your body and live as you. But you succeed, so I'll go back to my body, my title and... Well, thank you for married Alistair. He'll be mines as well."

Issara's rage grew high beyond the limit. She grabbed Lillian's neck, lust to kill this bitch with her hands.

Alas, she was in Lillian's Fade. She couldn't move while the redhead cast spell on her.

"You're bloody hothead, Issara." Smirk, the witch swept those hands away. "I'm glad we won't see each other again. Anyhow, because you had done me a great service, I'll revive your sister and return your body to you. Well, Perhaps I ought to give you bonus. Tell me one wish and I'll grant it to you."

Should she trust this abomination? She heard so many tales about the devil Ginny that twists the good wish to something horrible. Besides, Lillian would never help her return to Thedas and Alistair.

_"Only one who can bring you home is yourself."_ Flemeth's words echo in her head.

Yes, Lillian wasn't only one who can play mind's game.

"I want to go home." Issara said it at last.

That was something she really glad to do. The blood Mage didn't give her avatar chance to think twice. "You got it. But I must warn you. Your body is wounded by the accident. You won't wake up with good condition."

"It's my body. As long as it still alive, I'm ok."

Those words sounded like sarcasm, but Lillian was too happy to care. "Go home, Issara. I hope we would never meet again."

And then, the Ex-Warden lost her consciousness.


	47. Eternity

When I was writing this chapter, I thinking about the song: Eternity by Kelly Sweet. Her voice was very sweet like her namesake, but somehow this song made me gloom. No doubt that is why this chapter is a bit angst.

* * *

**Eternity**

* * *

Send my hopes and dreams to the sky

My love leaves me cold inside

In a circle lies my fate

I'm frozen

.

Time healed people's heart as the new king and his people rebuild Denerim from her ruin. Alistair worked among human, dwarves and elves. Those people still weren't friends but at least they're no more hostile.

In three months, the city came back to her shape. Even though his coronal didn't yet happen, Alistair did his best in take care of his people's need. He went to everywhere that needed him. From the noble to beggar, he listen to everyone.

Give them love and they will love you back. Issara taught him. She never called him 'my king' because she had the greatest king back home. So many times, she told him about what her king had done for his people. The great man didn't fight with evil thing, but he fought with the poverty, corruption and ignorant. He sounded too good to be true. Alistair wondered why she loved that man as if he was her father. Perhaps someone brainwashed her?

But she just smiled and said:

"If you have someone who love you, and did anything for you to be happy without asking for anything in return, even that almost caused him dead for countless times. Most of all, he still and always do that even someone trying to destroy him. Will you love him?"

He didn't have to take long time thinking. He loved her more than his own life because all the love she gave. Issara was his brightest miracle among the Blight. She carried everyone till the end but chose to leave for good...alone.

And he wasn't only one who loves her. Many people she helped worship her. Although they didn't know her true name, they loved her like another Andraste. Issara wasn't only 'hero of Ferelden' for them. Just a short time she lived here, her action changed many things.

One day, Alistair paid a visit to Elder Valendrian and his people. He surprised to see the elves and human worked together in rebuilding the place. And when he asked, Shianni just shrugged and said.

"Racism is suck."

Issara had influence upon people, doesn't she?

However, those words hurt him. He missed his wife so much.

.

Fragile moments spent with you

Now past five before there too

For time can only heal these wounds

I'm broken

.

When he returned to the palace that dusk, he hurried went to where he wanted to stay for all day. There, in the royal bedchamber, Wynne and Morrigan were waiting for him. Like most of his former companions include Sten, they still stayed in Denerim, waiting for miracle even it's almost impossible.

Even though Fergus went back to Highever after the battle, he still kept in touch. Everyone still had hope.

"What's about her? There's anything change?" Alistair asked as soon as he met the Mage.

She wished she have good news, the old woman shook her head sadly. The witch didn't look better.

The king sighed. He should know this, but couldn't stop hoping. "Thank for your help, Wynne... And thank to you too, Morrigan."

The witch raised her brow. She was still here just to take care of her only friend, never expected for Alistair's appreciate. "I just do it for Issara."

"Whatever you say, I tired of all this. I just want to see her, could I?" He ignored Morrigan and asked for permission from Wynne.

Understanding, the old Mage nodded. "Take your time, son."

They left the room. Alistair walked to a body in the bed. She still alive, but was in comatose. After she thrust the Iron rose into the archdemon's head, she loses her consciousness. Morrigan said Issara's soul probably perished by the tainted god's power, but this body could survive without soul for awhile. However, the body alive longer than they expected, so he still held the hope no matter how slim it might be.

Involuntary, the tear shaded from his eyes. The king could hold back no longer. He let it flow as he held the unconscious woman within his arms.

.

Let the walls close in around my heart

Let your words haunt me

A thousand goodbyes could never disguise

For eternity

.

He didn't know the time was. All he remembered that he cried to sleep in Issara's bed. The fireplace still lit, dim light showed him the silhouette of slander body that still lay in his arms. However, he couldn't believe his eyes that he saw another pair of eyes was looking back.

Am I dreaming? He asked himself.

By the way, that lovely face smiled and leaned to his. Alistair threw the caution to the wind and kissed back eagerly. Before he knew it, they were naked and he buried himself inside her. It felt so real. If this was the dream, he wished he wouldn't wake up soon.

It ended quickly as it happened. The king still held his queen, sated. However, he felt strange. He never was so exhausted like this after made love with Issara.

And the answer came sooner than he expected.

"I hate to inform you this 'my king', but you lost her."

That voice... He knew that chilly voice. Shock, Alistair ran from the bed to lit the candle. In brighter light, he could see real face of person he just made love with. Those eyes, face and hair... She was Lillian. The ice queen returned.

"You..." He was unable to speak. If Lillian was here, it does mean Issara would never comeback. He lost his love forever.

Lillian smiled coldly. "Disappointed, your majesty? She would never return. I sent her back to her home. You wouldn't see her again."

"But... You did what? How could you do that? And why..."

Still kept her emotionless look, Lillian Cousland spoke lifelessly. "The demon that made the deal with Issara is my disguise. When she fulfill our deal greatly, I just repaid her with her sister's life and bonus her with one wish. She wished to go home, so I sent her home. That's all."

His knees lost ability to stand, Alistair fell to the floor as his heart broke. "Why did you do this? You brought her to me and took her away."

"Do you remember? I said I will hurt you more than you hurt me." Her voice sounded trembly. "How do you feel when you lost the one you love most? Issara did her jobs perfectly even she never meant to."

Irate, he wanted to kill this woman. But as soon as the angry showed in his eyes, Lillian broke his chain of thought.

"I won't do that if I were you. I'm with your child now."

Alistair stopped moving, didn't even dare to breath.

"Our love making was a ritual. In case you might curious, it was a blood magic. I received your tainted seed and convinced a life into my womb. In ten months, this boy would be born." Still didn't show any emotion, the cold woman stroked her belly gently. But Alistair had known her too well to believe she loved her child. "He will be the heir of the throne. I always dream about this."

Yes, this was real Lillian. With the heir, her status as the queen would be more than steady. He couldn't divorce with her no matter how much he hated her.

He also couldn't reveal her ability as the blood Mage. If people found out about his bloody wife, his son would be doom.

By all mean, he was trapped.


	48. So much for my happyending

From this chapter on, thing would be more different from original game. This story will connect with my next project.

* * *

**So much for my happy-ending**

* * *

The unbearable pain in my head woke me up. I thought I ought to find some pain-killer so I tried to get up even though every inches of my body was crying in ache.

Without my glasses, my eyesight was unclear. I could see only anything that in my arm's range. I tried to find my eyeglasses but found none. Then I had to continue my searching even I couldn't see clearing.

Anyhow, I felt so cold. I looked down and found myself was wearing nothing. Where's my cloth? And where am I?

Most of all... Who am I?

All I knew was I was in someone's bedroom. It's dark and cold. I couldn't see much but felt this wasn't my bedroom. Something told me to leave this place immediately. If that 'woman' found me here, I would be doom.

I found a very big wardrobe that full of man's clothes. All of them were oversize for me but I had no choice. I chose tunic and trousers those weren't golden or red. Not for long, I left the room even the pain in my head was growing hurt and hurtful.

I couldn't see this entire place, but I knew it was so big. The architecture reminded me of castle in Europe. Strange, there's no one around. It looked like this place was abandoned recently because the torches on the wall were still lighting.

I heard some voice from downstairs. It sounded like the crowd was cheering. I also heard the word 'king' and 'queen' of Ferelden. Does it was the name of this place?

Fuck..! My head was so damn hurt. I couldn't stand still anymore. As far as I remembered, I fell to my knees while someone was walking to me.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?"

I didn't know who she was, but this old woman seemed familiar. I knew I could trust her. "I-help, my head is hurting."

The white haired woman explored over my body. She must understand my word. "Maker's blood, you are wounded! Easy daring, I will heal you immediately." and then she waved her hand above my head.

The pain slowly faded away from every inches of my body. I didn't know how could she do that but I was glad for her help. I paid her respect in Thai's manner and found she was looking at me in shock.

"You... I'd known only one who did this. You are Issara, aren't you? You are comeback. Your face is different but it doesn't matter. I will inform Alistair immediately. He must be glad to know this."

"Wait..." I stopped her. "No, you can't. That woman... If that woman knows..." Honest, I didn't know what I was saying. I knew nothing about 'that woman', but I knew I couldn't face her in this state.

However, the old woman seemed to understand. "Yes, you are right. That woman will kill you if she knows you are here. We need to bring you to safety... Millar. Yes, she is going to leave to Amaranthine today. You can go with her. I will tell Alistair to follow you later."

Those names sounded familiar, especially Alistair. My heart melted and longed to meet him, again.

"Come with me, Issara. I will take you to our friends. They hate Lillian and will leave Denerim today, but everything will changed by your return." The old woman gripped my wrist, led me to downstairs.

...

Outside the grand palace, the crowd was cheering to a couple on the balcony. From my distance and without my eyeglasses, I could see them as ghostly visage. But I could feel his emotion. He was loathing the woman who was standing beside him, but he could do nothing about that.

Somehow, I thought he sensed me too. He tried to find me in the crowd but Wynne dragged me to another way. We met the group of strange people outside the castle's wall. They were confused by my appearance but understood eventually.

Millar; the elven Grey Warden was the first one who gave me welcome hug. She cried like a child who made Leliana and Lynx follow suit. Morrigan and the rest didn't cry but their eyes were red.

"Rabbit, Oghren and Shale must be glad if they knew this." Lynx; the huntress said. "Rabbit had been caged in the kennel since Lillian woke up. Shale couldn't stand Lillian so she left Denerim two days ago. She said she would wait for Wynne at the tower of Magi. For Oghren, he just left yesterday. That Lillian is good to making people hate her."

From their words, I'd learned I unleashed an evil witch to the world. By using me, Lillian Cousland got Alistair and her new titles just like she wish. I was sure Ferelden would be doom under her regent.

That was unacceptable. I couldn't let that happen. By the way, I was unable to do anything right now. Millar agreed to bring me out of this city. The rest of my former party still had they own agenda, and left for their own future. However, exclude Morrigan and Sten, they promised to pay me a visit as often as they able.

Millar and I left Denerim. Morrigan accompanied us for a short time before left without saying goodbye. Along the way, my body was recovering as my memories and magic slowly returned. Millar returned me the shards of the Iron Rose those she kept after it has been broken.

Even in wrack, the blade still enchanted with magic. I knew I must reforge it as soon as I able. Without this blade, I would never defeat Lillian.

The rest of our trip was peaceful until we arrived to Vigil's keep.

...

As soon as we arrived, we found the keep has been overwhelmed by darkspawn. I couldn't help much when I still couldn't see clearly so Millar left me with the survivors as she advanced to the keep to taking the place back and save more people. I was busy healing the wounded people as I heard the horn. Someone came and left before I went back to the front gate.

The Grey Warden commander apologized to me. She told me Alistair came and gone. Millar tried to stop him but he insisted to leave.

I felt like I was strike by lighting. Why the fate played cruel with me? Anyway, the sound of wounded people brought me back to reality. I had no time to moaning upon my own grief while there're people who needed my assistant.

...

Sometime in between those days, I realized that my body didn't tainted. I was Grey Warden no longer and Millar had no attention to recruit me, so I just stayed in the keep as her friend and advisor, not one of the tainted warriors. And she tried to keep me out of the fighting with the darkspawn.

By the way, Millar recruited many people to the order. The first one was a Mage name Ander. He ran from the circle of Magi seven times, but always seems to get caught. His last escape had ended after the Templars who were guarding him back to the circle chose to stop at the keep and died in between the assault. There's no evident to prove that he was a murder of those Templars or no, so I thought he was innocence until anyone could prove him guilty.

The second recruit was Oghren. Yeah, that alcohol lover made his appearance in the Vigil's keep just a week before the assault began. He helped Millar retake the keep and drive the talking darkspawn off and insisted to being the Grey Warden with mystery reason. I couldn't help but wonder why his joining seemed easier than mines. Did I weaker than him or his body was different? Er... Whatever,

The third... He was a big surprise. I couldn't believe I would see another Howe in my life time. Nathaniel Howe was a second son of Rendon Howe (as he believed anyway); the maggot I killed. However, he did believe Lillian Cousland killed his 'good' father, and stripped his family from titles and land. After eight years he spent in the Free Marches, he came back to his childhood home to assassinate the queen and take his family's belonging. Unfortunately, (or not) he got caught by the Grey Wardens. He was imprisoned in the dungeon before the assault and still there until Millar went to meet him.

My elven friend never told me, but I thought I understand why she chose to recruit him to be the Grey Warden. I, myself was the one who told her about everybody deserve the second chance. Should I doubt her for follow my ethic?

There're more recruits; Sigrun: an adorable dwarf who was a member of Legion of the dead. She was the last of her unit. Millar found her at Knotwood Hills, fleeing from the darkspawn. It wasn't bravely thing to do as a legionnaire of the dead but it save her life. Somehow, she submitted Millar's offer and became another Grey Warden.

Velanna the Dalish was exiled from her clan. When Millar met her in Wending Woods, she was hunting the human merchants who she thought take her sister. Anyway, they found out that her sis was kidnapped by the darkspawn. She would stop at nothing to take her sis back so she demanded to be the Grey Warden to get the ability to detach the tainted creature. Well, even with my extraordinary optimism, I thought she was a bitch.

The last one was... How could I explain him? Hum, the body was Kristoff's: the poor Grey Warden who has killed in the Blackmarsh: former bustling village that long abandoned. But his corpse was possessed by the spirit of justice. In other word, he was an undead.

These people were just...interesting.

As Millar did her jobs as the Grey Warden commander and Arlessa of Amaranthine, I did my best in fulfill empty bellies of poor people. I'm glad that I also had knowledge about farming and trading. We worked so hard to rebuild the keep with the best material we able to find. With help from Herren and Wade; lovely couple who once opened the emporium in Denerim, our men could get the best armors and weapons. I also got new eyeglasses and some 'toys'.

Most of all, Wade had the hilt of Iron rose. This was more than I ever had hope because Millar told me that Alistair kept it since he found it in my... Lillian's hand as the token of me. How could it pass to the blacksmith's hand? Did he just throw it away or something happen?

I couldn't stop myself from wonder. Half of my heart feared if he loved me no longer and tried to get rid of everything that remind him of me. But another half still so stubborn, it warned me of that witch. Perhaps she was the reason why the enchanted hilt had disappeared from the king's personal chest.

Yes, it must be something like that. No matter what I had done for her, Lillian still hated me. She would do anything to get rid of my remnant.

ASAP, I reforged my blade. It couldn't be the same but the magic inside still remind. Anyway, I didn't want to use it with anyone but Lillian.

...

Too bad, the fight hasn't ended easily. One day, Millar got the new that the horde of darkspawn would attack the city of Amaranthine, so she left the keep for save the city from them, but those tainted creatures attacked the keep instead. Without the commander, I had to step forward, stand in front of the soldiers and led them into the fight for their life and their beloved. I still remembered what happened that day.

Seneschal Varel; Millar's second in command tried his best to calm his men down, but the fear still covered their heart. Most of soldiers were new recruits, some too young or too old. Even equipped with the best armor and weapon, they wouldn't able to fight if they lack of morale.

Dressed with my old style leather attire, I jumped to the wall to make the speech. Outside the keep was the horde of darkspawn that was marching to the wall. I didn't sure if we would able to make the day, but I wouldn't give up.

"The soldiers of Vigil's keep listen to me." For them, I was an advisor of their commander. No one expected me to stand in front of them, so they stared at me like a ghost. "I won't lie to you. Our situation is grim. I don't know if we all will survive or not."

"But don't give up. You aren't here just for saving your life or your land, but for save your beloved. We might die today but they MUST survive. And no matter what happen, I will stay with you through this day. I won't abandon you unless the death takes me. However, I won't die alone. I will take those bastards with me as much as I able. Come, brothers and sisters, fight for your family and people you love. Kick those tainted assholes out off our land and send them back to sodding hole!"

The soldiers cheered. I could see the bravery in their eyes. With the Iron rose in my hand, I commanded the archers to fire their arrows.

I redesigned the heavy weapon. Our catapult surprised even our men. The bomb did wipe the half of the horde off the battlefield. If any of them survive and ran to the wall, they would be finished with the crossbow men and fire.

"Hey, leave some head for me to chop!" Sigrun yelled. She, Justice and Nathaniel stayed at the keep and eager to fight. This time, she wouldn't run.

Nathaniel (aka Nate) didn't talk much. He just followed my order. His bow always could be trust. He was a good man; I couldn't believe he was raised by Rendon Howe. Anyway, I still couldn't tell him the truth of me or his parent.

In battlefield, have no mercy toward your enemies. We crushed them to dust without raising our brows. By that dusk, the last of darkspawn died by my blade. And because we destroyed the tunnel they used to invade the keep last time, thus we received no surprise attack.

Millar returned in the next morning. From the look in her face, I bet she surprised to see us still alive and well.

Should I blame her? I didn't believe myself as well.

In war, they need swords for protect their life, but people needs food when they're in peace. It took several months for the first harvest. My advice about fertilizer and improving solid paid better than I expected. We had the best harvest in history of Amaranthine. The pond I demanded them to dig also gave us fishes and water source. With our full bellies, everything seemed to be better.

I didn't see what was coming.


	49. Full of grace

**Full of grace**

* * *

The winter here is cold and bitter

It's chilled us to the bone

...

Ferelden was a cold place, but it was colder when Lillian was around. No matter how great the chef had done with the breakfast, they were tasteless if she was in the same table.

Alistair never understood why it's so damn hard to talk or even look at that face without thinking about what she had done to Issara. He tried to befriend with his childhood friend and mother of his son, but something in her blocked everyone out. Even Fergus didn't want to talk to her after their last meeting. The king knew his brother-in-law angry on Lillian because her action. Fergus couldn't stand the thought that his sister used Issara as the tool to change her fate.

It was seventh month since Lillian woke up, and seventh month of her pregnancy. People wondered why their queen had changed so much. They stopped compare her with Andraste. Some of them spoke her name with fear. The rumor spread like the plague that she was an apostate and the grand palace was going to abandoned because of her evil power.

That wasn't true. Even though many people like Wynne left the palace as soon as they able but it wasn't because Lillian's magic. They just couldn't stand the queen.

So was him. Alistair stopped eating his meal and began to leave. He couldn't stay in the same room with her anymore.

Sat in front of her breakfast, still didn't look at him, Lillian asked coldly. "Where are you going?"

He promised to Issara that he would be good king, but he really had to leave Denerim. He couldn't stay and see this face. "I'll visit the Dalish."

"You granted them the land near Ostagar because they helped fighting the Blight, I remember. So you're going south... That's good."

That sounded strange. She never approved his trip. What changed her mind? "What? No complain... Last time, you didn't stop complaining until I left."

Lillian didn't answer. "You should go before I change my mind."

Truly, Alistair couldn't hate her as he wanted. He knew how lonely she was and pity on her. Too bad, he couldn't love her or anyone else. His heart belonged to one woman even she would never comeback.

Left the queen and palace, the king took a trip to the south. In the land he granted to Lynx and her people, he found his old friend. However, he didn't found Zev because he left Lynx since a month ago, without saying goodbye. By the way, she seemed to be happy with new home and care nothing about the assassin. She was strong woman, just like her surrogate sister.

They had conversations. From the good old day till our present, they always were bound by the love they had for one woman. And that was when Lynx told the king to pay a visit to Millar. His old friend had something in store for him, but he had to go to Vigil's keep to see it himself.

Alistair's agenda suddenly changed. Without sending the news to Denerim, he took a trip to the north. Along the way, he heard about the assault in Vigil's keep and city of Amaranthine, which looked like someone forget to inform this news to him since several months ago. The king didn't doubt in Millar's ability to save the city, but he curious about a woman who saved the keep. The gossip said she was dressing in strange armor and masking her face with ridiculous glassy thing. The bard played a song that described her speech before she led the soldiers to the battle. Somehow, those words reminded him of his lost love.

The women who know how to lead the army aren't easy thing to find, by all mean.

...

I haven't seen the sun for weeks

Too long, too far from home

...

"Where's Issara?" The Grey Warden commander asked everyone she met in the keep since she woke up in the morning and couldn't find another woman anywhere.

"She probably went to the village." Velanna answered. Normally, the Dalish didn't bother to talk with anyone except fussy Issara who always smiled and helped, but the commander made her speak because she seemed to know everything. "I heard she said: the weather is changing, so she wants to check if there's any children will catch the cold. It will be easier way to prevent the plague."

"Did she go alone?"

The keeper shrugged. "No, she takes Marigold and Ander with her."

Marigold was a Mabari hound that imprinted to Issara after her last mistress died during the first assault. Somehow, the bitch always followed the ex-Warden as if she was Issara's shadow. So, Millar didn't surprise to know they left the keep together. But Ander was annoying her.

The careless mage wasn't different from people of Amaranthine those fell for Issara's kindness. However, he didn't just adore her but also tried to flirt with her. Although the Ex-Warden didn't interest, he never gave up. For someone who was trying to claim Issara's heart, his action was unnerving.

She returned with amnesia. Her memories about their adventure didn't remind in her brain. Issara regained only half of the entire story. She didn't know Alistair more than the tale that had been told by her friends. Millar thought she could take advantage on this unfortunate event. Alas, it doesn't easy.

The bound between the couple was stronger than she'd ever realized.

"I'll go looking for her. If anyone needs me..." The commander looked through the window. Her words faded out as she saw familiar banner appeared on the horizon.

"The king... What's he doing here?" Velanna wondered.

Millar had no idea, but she knew she couldn't let Alistair meet his amnesiac lover. "I shall go greet him."

And send him away, again.

...

I feel just like I'm sinking

And I claw for solid ground

I'm pulled down by the undertow

I never thought I could fell so low

And oh, darkness I feel like letting go

...

"Please, Issara." Ander plea, tried to give her innocent look.

Frowning, the woman stopped walking and scolds the Mage. "No, we won't discuss about Guy Fawkes or Gunpowder Plot again."

She really regret for told him her true story. Although she understands why he fascinated in her no-Templar world, his absorption in well-known terrorists made her concern.

During the last assault, the body that Justice possessed had been destroyed. She didn't sure what really happen. A few days after that, she found out that Ander had body-mate. Somehow, it doesn't sound like a good thing, especially after Ander showed some sign of strange attitude. Even Ser Pounce-a-lot: his cat seemed to sense it.

Alas, the Mage was too stubborn to heed the warning.

"Fight for what you believe is one thing, but killing the innocences is unacceptable. I don't want to talk about those terrorists again and I won't tell you how to make gunpowder. Look, I still angry that you let Justice possess you. I knew he need body to stay in human's world but this is wrong. You two would have big problem, mark my word."

"But..." His eyes were glowing, but suddenly stopped as she crossed her arms and frowned at him. Issara's mind was so strong, even the spirit didn't dare to challenge her.

"No is no. For goodness's sake, stop asking me about these things. You made me worry, you know?"

"You...worry about me?" He asked exciting.

Issara was 'one of kind' woman. He fell for her as the first sight. She had exotic beauty, charming humor and so strong: the mixing of chaos. Ander tried to get her attention, but it seemed impossible. The red haired dwarf told him she already married with someone, and someday that lucky guy would come for her.

Anyway, the man could always have hope.

"Yes, I worry about you. We're friends, Ander. I don't want to see you or Justice was in trouble." Issara seemed to have something in mind. She sighed deeply. "I-I knew you have plan to leave Amaranthine and Wardens. I won't stop or ask you for the reason. Just be weary, your path wouldn't be easy."

The Mage looked at her silently. This was one of a few times he didn't know what to say.

"No matter what would happen, don't forget my warning." Issara said before turned away, continued walking to the village. Marigold followed her like shadow.

The sun filed toward the west. They finished checking on all children in the village at noon. So they continued their trip to the Chantry.

During the assaults, many people died. Many children lost their parent that day. The Chantry looked after them but Issara was only one who paid the visit and helped them in many ways, so they admired her as their guardian.

Mother Selene; the priestess who was taking care of Vigil's Keep Chantry came to Issara. From her look, the Ex-Warden knew she had problem.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Mother?" She asked before another woman said anything.

The priestess seemed surprise but her business was so urgent. "Help me, Lady Issara. Alice is disappeared."

Alice was the orphans. She was in hiding when the dark spawn invaded the keep and killed her whole family. The worst was: she stuck in the house with her tainted father for day. The ghoul might get her if Issara didn't break-in. So it wasn't strange that the poor girl suffered by PTSD.

Issara wanted to adopt the girl, but her uncertain future stopped that thought. She had no job, no money or even home. How could she take care of a girl? So she had to leave Alice in Chantry's care. However, she still paid a visit as often as she could. Several months passed, the girl opened her mind to Issara only.

"What do you mean? What happened to my girl?" She didn't mean it, but she shouted at the priestess's face in shock.

"She said someone took her doll. I think she had run off to find it."

Because she couldn't stay with Alice all the time, Issara gave her a handmade stuff doll. The poor girl called it Rosy and kept it with her. She also couldn't sleep without this doll.

"Did she mention who took Rosy?"

"She didn't. But it probably was any boy in the village. Those children called Alice the ghoul's daughter and teased her. The poor girl didn't take that very well." Mother Selene cried.

It wasn't good clue, but still better than nothing. "I'll search in the village, immediately. Don't worry." And then, she left the place.

Ander followed his friend close. "Don't think about leave me here with those monsters, do you?"

"They're good children, Ander." Issara rolled her eyes.

"You could say that because they love you." The Mage moaned. "They teased Ser pounce-a-lot so badly. I think they did it because they hate me."

"You mean your cat? Nah, he is tough guy. I don't think he'll mind getting some petting or teasing."

Beautiful, kind, smart and rich of humor; why this kind of lady always belongs to someone else? Ander couldn't help but wonder. "Issara, can I ask you a favor?"

"Could we speak about it later? This isn't a good time, I afraid. I have to find Alice. She might break down in any minute if I or Rosy wasn't with her." She replied.

"I just... I can't take Pounce with me. Could you look after him after I go?"

"Um, I don't think he will be grateful if he has to share a room with Marigold. But I think he can stay at the Keep. I promise I'll find someone to look after him."

That's good enough. The Mage sighed in relief.

Compare with Ander, Issara looked like a little girl. Her body was slim and shorter than Lillian, so she was swifter than the man. She ran to village's gate before Ander had a chance to say thank.

She was thinking about where to go first as familiar voice called.

"Mama,"

Little blond haired girl ran to her. Issara dashed toward to hug Alice in great relief. "Alice, where had you been? Mama was worry... And what happened with Rosy?"

The doll in Alice's arms was dirty and wet, but she still held it like the great treasure. "The boy in village threw her into the pond."

"Goodness... Don't tell me you jumped to the pond to take her back!" Like most of Amaranthine's people, Alice couldn't swim. Just think of her girl drawn in the pond almost made her swoon. "I can make you new doll, but there's no one could replace you. Mama would heartbroken if anything happen to you. Don't throw yourself into the danger, please."

Sincerely cry made the girl felt guilty. She held her foster mother tight as she cried. "I didn't jump to the pond, mama. A good man did it for me."

"A good man, who?"

Alice pointed to a blond haired man who was standing nearby. He was covering in mud and looked at her with strange expression. Issara never see him before, but he looked familiar.

"Thank you very much for helping my girl, sir." She said with very big smile.

The man opened his mouth to say something, but Ander arrived before he had any chance. The Mage stared at the stranger doubtfully.

Anyhow, he paid attention to the girl. "Alice, by the Maker, where had you been, my little girl? Papa and mama were looking for you everywhere."

"You're not my papa. My mama isn't your wife." Alice protested.

Issara couldn't help but chuckle. Poor Ander seemed to don't get along so well with children. "Well, I think we have another business to attend. This gentle man need to be cleaned and dried. Please come with me sir, I'd known some place you can clean up, and I'll find dry cloth for you to change."

The beautiful stranger smiled. "You're too kind, Lady."

That lopsided smile... Issara felt her heart soar. it sounded strange that a grow up woman losing herself in front up the man she just has met. "Well, um, you're welcome. The tavern is just up ahead on that hill."

One hand was still holding Alice; she led her knight to the tavern. All the time, she felt his eyes on her. Somehow, she found that was very...pleasant.

...

If all of the strength and all the courage

Come and lift me from this place

I know I can love you much better than this

Full of grace

Full of grace

My love,

(Full of grace: Sarah Mclachlan)

...

Carefully, Issara knocked on the door. She waited until the man inside answered then opened it. Don't know how, but this stranger really got to her nerve.

He still was in the tub. She could see his shadow was moving behind the screen. The light draw his muscular body on white fabric, left only a few for imagination- very bright imagination.

"What's wrong with you, Ice? Stop leer the stranger!" She mentally scolded herself before place dry cloth on night table.

"I bring you new clothes. Ander loan me this, I hope it fit." She gathered dirty clothes, meant to bring it to the laundry. Old habit dies hard. Issara checked his pocket and found a gold ring.

It was a simple ring, there's nothing special but a word carved on it.

'Forever yours'

"It's my wife's ring." Someone said from behind her. The stranger was standing there, covered himself with only a towel around his middle section.

Issara jumped. He moved so quiet for a big guy. She didn't hear him left the bathtub. "Oh, sorry. I just check your pocket before give your cloth to the servant to clean. They might take it as tip if you leave it in your clothes."

Brown eyes glazed at her pink cheeks seriously. This woman seemed familiar. He really wanted to take those glassy things off her face to take clearer view. Raven hair, honey skin, strange attire and that accent, she seemed like someone he knew. However, he didn't dare hope.

"Um, perhaps I should go." Issara blushed, tried hard to not stare his structure body. She saw many of men shirtless when she worked in the hospice, but this man was totally different.

"Please, wait a minute." That large hand reached hers. Issara felt a jolt of electric passing through her center. He must notice it, because he released her wrist immediately. "Sorry. I just- I still don't know your name. I am Alistair."

Alistair... The king? Nah, perhaps it was common name. It wasn't strange if two guys have the same name even they hadn't related.

"You can call me Issara." She smiled friendly. Somehow, this man captured her interest in the way no one had ever did.

"Really..?" He seemed like he was going to cry as he hurled forward to scoop small figure into his arms. Before she knew it, her eyeglasses were taken off. Alistair's face was so close. She could see his mixed expression clearly. "Ice, it's you! I can't believe my eyes."

"How could you know my nickname? I never tell anyone."

He was aback, but he could tell she was really confused. "You... You aren't joking. I suppose you got amnesia."

"Yes, I lost a lot of my memories. But..." Soft hands fondled his cheeks like she was trying to recall the old days. Her brain couldn't remember him, but her heart never forgot. "I think, I..."

The door slammed open. They turned to face a group of guards those were wearing royal armor.

Cauthrien who now was caption of the King's bodyguard gaped at them. She couldn't believe the man she sworn to protect would have the affair with another woman when his wife was carrying his child. "Your majesty...?"

"This is going to be a mess." The king sighed.


	50. Angel brought me here

Sorry for very long update. I was too much enjoying drawing fanart for DAII. Still, I always keeps my word. I won't abandon this fic unless I die.

* * *

**Angel brought me here**

* * *

It's been a long and winding journey

But I'm finally here tonight

Picking up the pieces

And walking back into the light

Into the sunset of your glory

Where my heart and future lies

There's nothing like that feeling

When I look into your eyes

...

Travel as the king was totally different than his old time as a member of extraordinary band. He didn't have to cook, cut the log or take watch. This ought to be a nice trip, but the cold in his bedroll made it unbearable.

Sleeping on the hard ground doesn't seem bad when he had soft and warm body snuggling his side. Issara was always made everything better for all of them. He was a luckiest man in Thedas for had having her as his wife. In the contrasty, he lost everything when he lost her.

After Lillian did trick him to had sex with her, he hadn't sleep with anyone. Somehow, he was glad that she had his son, which means he hadn't having more sex just to product the heir.

He sworn to Issara that he would carry on even without her, but he didn't think he would be able to love another woman when his heart was belonging to Issara.

One more thing, the life as the king bored him. Alistair longed to the old day. He doesn't want to surround by servants and bodyguards. Eamon was overprotected as he commanded a group of guards to follow him everywhere.

Cauthrien became his bodyguard after the Blight ended. She atoned herself in the last battle, so he believed she could be trusted. The warrior was annoying sometime but she was reasonable and honorable, at least more than her old master.

Anyway, that doesn't stop him from trying to have some fun.

Before their small troop set a foot on Vigil's Keep, Alistair ran from his companions. He left his golden armors and shield at his wagon. Sneaking wasn't his best ability but he thought no one know about his absence until after an hour or so.

The Keep has been changed. Many things were different from the last time he was here. There's no more dilapidated hut or pathetic crop fields. Millar did impressive job in revive this place.

He didn't sure why, but the large pond attracted his interest. He admired the clear water and water plants. Somehow it reminded him of Issara who loved to swim.

Anyhow, the sound of crying girl cut his chain of thought, followed by the sound of water splash. And then, the group of boys ran passed him, laughing cruelly.

Alistair saw a blond haired girl was standing near the edge of the pond. It seemed she was going to jump into the water.

Little girl didn't look older than eight, also short and pale. Her tear could break anyone's heart.

"What's happen young lady?" The king asked softly. "Do you need any help?"

Of course, she panicked to see the stranger. The girl took three steps backward as he knelt before her. "Who're you?"

"Right, I should introduce myself first. My name's Alistair...of the Grey Warden." Perhaps it's better if he didn't tell her he was king.

"Grey Warden... But I'd never saw you before."

"I came from Denerim. My friends and I just arrived here recently." It's not a lie.

The girl eyed him doubtfully, but still kept her manner. She bowed policy as she said. "I- mama said I ought to introduce myself if anyone asks me nicely. My name's Alice. Nice to meet you, Ser."

Bright blond hair and clear emerald eyes; this girl was so beautiful and her good manner enlighten her beauty. Alistair wanted to know her mother. The woman who raises this angel must be a wonderful woman. "Glad to meet you as well, young lady. But you are having some problem, aren't you?"

Alice sniffed. "Yes, those boys threw Rosy into the water. I want to help her but I can't swim."

Followed her point finger, he saw a stuff doll was floating in middle of the pond. It would drown soon if he doesn't do something.

"It will be all right, lady. I'll rescue Rosy for you. Just wait here," It was the good thing that he didn't wear the armor. The water was deeper than he thought. He has to swim to Rosy.

Wet and dirty, but the knight rescued little damsel at last. Alistair returned the doll to the owner who took it back with tearful eyes.

"Thank you very much, kind Ser. But I have nothing to pay you."

That doesn't sound like a girl's word. Perhaps she had learned it from her father. "No need, dear lady. I'm just glad to help."

But Alice disagreed. "You had done me a great service, and you also get muddy up. Mama will scold me if I don't repay your kindness. Yes, mama could pay you! Come with me, Ser. We have to find her. Mama told me she will come to the Chantry today."

A little girl had no force to drag him, but Alistair let her led him by the hand through the village to the Chantry.

He didn't know what would happen next.

...

My dreams came true

When I found you

I found you

My miracle...

…

Almost four hours later, in the Vigil's Keep.

Issara pulled the eiderdown to cover sleeping Alice. Somehow, she felt like her life was going to changed. In the time like this, she wanted to keep her adopt daughter close, so she brought little girl with her to the Keep.

Alistair and Grey Warden-commander had having 'private' chat. She didn't want to interface so she spanned her time with her little girl. They talked and played until Alice spent and then fell asleep in Issara's bed. The girl still held the dirty doll like great treasure.

She kissed her adopt daughter's forehead kindly. When she looked up, she found a pair of brown eyes was looking at her. The king smiled sweetly as he walked toward to help her stand.

"You're very good mother."

Someone said the woman in her age was old enough to be someone's mother. She should to get over her childish behavior, but Issara felt like she was lovesick teenager when he looked at her like that. "I-I just..."

Alistair kissed her knuckles, fondled chastely. She lost memory of him, so she might think of him as the stranger. Their relationship might have to start at the new beginning. However, he made her fall for him once; he knew he could do it again.

The heat from his lips almost burns her skin. Issara bit her lower lip as she avoided his glare. "I think we have a lot to discuss, but I don't want to disturb Alice. Perhaps we ought to go...elsewhere."

"Our 'lovely' commander granted me a room not far from here. We can have chit-chat... If you don't mind."

She arched her eyebrows. "Do I detect problem?"

"Of course not, I don't have problem with our Grey Warden commander. She is perfect person if she didn't try to steal my wife." Although he was angry, he still tried to keep his voice down for Alice's sake.

His 'property' just stared at him innocently. He knew Issara was so dearly and clueless when come to this kind of relationship, so she probably never had known about Millar's plan. Alistair sighed and kissed the crown of her head.

"Let's go to my room. I swear I won't do anything you don't like."

Her brain couldn't remember, but her heart was already in his hand. She knew she could trust this man. "I knew you will never hurt me."

He fondled her face, marveled in how soft her skin was. Honey skin was smoother than he remember. Her physical body was totally different from Lillian's. When she looked and smiled at him like that, he wanted to ravish her right here and now.

Andraste's flaming sword, he wanted her so badly!

She probably knew what he was thinking, because her lips arched in devilish grin he knew too well. "Marigold, you stay here, taking care of Alice. I'll be back."

Smiling, they walked to the guest bedchamber, hand in hand. Their conversations were idle and relax. Neither of them needs to rush the process.

However, they found the surprise was waiting in the room. Someone had been so kind and prepared the tub with hot bath for the guest. Issara didn't know why she blushed just because looking at it.

Alistair never forgets their evening in the bathtub. But he also knew they couldn't repeat that...activity, not now anyway. "Let's have a seat. We have a lot to discuss."

She gave him shyly smile and then sat on the couch nearby, trying her best to not look at big bed.

Looked at her pose, Alistair couldn't help but chuckle. His fierce girl was sitting with straight back; legs were overlapping and placed both hands on her lap. She looked nervous like innocent virgin who was in man's room for the first time.

Those bright brown eyes glanced at him curiously. "What's so funny?"

He knew what would happen if he add smart comment. "You're upsetting. What's wrong? You knew I would never hurt you, right?"

"Yes, I knew. It's just... I don't know. Perhaps I just can't go back to where we have left off. Time had changes everything, Alistair. I don't know if you still be the man I fell in love with."

Gently, he knelt before her and took her hand in his. "I don't know if you had changed, but I can say I always love you, Ice. When you gone, I felt hurt inside in every breathes I took. If wasn't because you want me to live, I must go to the Deep Roads and end this. Anyhow, if you don't want to come back to me, I understand."

"No, that doesn't what I meant." Panicked, she gripped his hand tightly. "I never have anyone before or after you. But you have...a wife. That woman is your queen. How could I..."

"The woman I married is you, Ice." He protested.

Still, Issara frowned. "But..."

Alistair tried to say something, but changed his mind eventually. "I... I knew you won't like this, but I suppose you prefer the truth. I slept with Lillian... But that because I was tricked."

Shocked by the news, she automatic jumped from the couch, jaws were hanging open and shut tight as her eyes were bulging wide. She didn't speak anything but he knew she was going to blast. However, after a few moment of silent rage, Issara sighed then dumped back to soft furniture.

"You have ten minutes. Explain or I'll gut you."

His wife was always reasonable. Alistair was glad that he still had the chance, so he told everything happened that day.

In the mean time, the Ex-Warden listened to him carefully. It's hard to guess her thought because her face was solemn and she didn't say any word. Anyhow, she didn't punch or kick him yet, thus she probably understands his situation.

When he finished, she sighed deeply. Those lovely hazelnut brown eyes glazed at him with mix emotions. "I... I can't remember Lillian, but I knew she could do anything to archive her goal. I don't think I can blame you."

Relief, Alistair embraced her in his warm arms. He was really luckiest man in Thedas. "I'm glad you understand."

"But... Well, perhaps it doesn't matter." She rested herself on his chest, still was frowning. "You can't just divorce her and marry me. It will be scandal, especially when she is carrying your child... Besides, I don't think I could live as your mistress. You knew how I feel about this kind of women, right?"

Sometime he hated it when she was right. "I knew, Ice. And I never want to put you in that status. You're my only wife, only one who would be mother of my son."

"I love to have child or children with you. To be a mother isn't easy task but I'd known it worth to try. You know, this body isn't tainted. I want to have a big family with you and follow you to the Deep Roads when..."

The sentence was cut by the soft kiss. He loved the idea of having children with his lovely wife, but he disagreed with the last part. "No, you would never go to that blighted hole again. I won't let you."

"You're my home, love. I might unable to remember, but my heart knew it. And I'll follow you to anywhere, even the deepest hell." She returned the kiss with tear of happiness and painfulness. "If we can't be together in this life, I'll take anything I can get. Make love with me, Ali. Let's make this night unforgettable."

"No, Ice, this won't be our last night." Alistair refused, but his hands were peeling her clothes off fine skin. "I'll find some way to work this out."

...

Standing here before you

Feels like I've been born again

Every breath is your love

Every heartbeat speaks your name


	51. the fire burn itself

Practice dummy in the courtyard was crying as it was hitting by blizzard of fists. However, she had to stop as the pain between her thighs was too much to endure. Until last evening, her body was a virgin and Alistair seemed to be more...energetic than ever, which caused her to sore terribly.

Slowly, Issara sat on the ground of training yard. She was glad it still too early, so most of Gray Wardens didn't go here for morning training yet.

Someone cleared her throat. Issara looked up and found the Grey Warden commander. "Could I have a word?"

"Have a seat," The older woman allowed. She didn't know what Millar wanted to say, but she had a good guess. It must be something involve with Alistair's grumpiness.

The Grey Warden eyed her worrying, but still sat down beside the ex-Warden. "I- Alistair hadn't told you yet, I take it."

"We didn't have much time to talk. Well, I think you know what I mean."

Somehow, Millar avoided her glare. She didn't want her friend to see the pain in her eyes. "Is that mean you're together again?"

"I hope so... But it's too bad. We won't." Issara sighed.

As if someone hit her bottom, the elf startled. "What does it mean? You came back from the dead to be with him. Why..."

"Yes, I intended to kill Lillian and get my man back. But the plan had changed since I knew she is carrying Ali's child. What should I do? If I kill Lillian, what shall I do with the boy? I can't raise him as my own, sent him away nor kill him."

Looking at the confuse woman, Millar felt sorry for her. "You're too good person, Issara. But I don't think thing will be that simple. Even though you don't want to fight with Lillian, she won't let you life in peace if she know you're here. True be told, it just a matter of time before she found you. Amaranthine is far from Denerim, but doesn't far from the Queen's ears and eyes."

"You know something?"

"Yes," Millar placed a piece of paper in Issara's hand. "The carry pigeon came yesterday, just after I saw the King's banner at the horizon."

The short massage was: tell the king to go back to Denerim.

"Alistair told Lillian that he was going to meet the Dalish in the south. He didn't send the news that he had changed his destination, so she shouldn't know he is here. That woman must have spy on Amaranthine for Maker knows how long."

"She hadn't acted yet. Perhaps she still hadn't known about me. Alright, I'll leave as soon as possible." Issara stood up, but Millar grabbed her wrist.

"Who are you and what had you done with my friend?"

Another woman gasped.

"Issara I'd known would never run like a coward. You are the one who united the land, killed the arch demon and saved the world. Why fear of one woman?" The Grey Warden asked.

Some sense came back to her mind. Issara sighed. "I don't know. This ought to be battle between me and Lillian, but thing never be that simple. Whatever might happen, I don't want to drag you or anyone into this chaos."

"Do you remember that I can die for you? I don't fear of death. Why I ought to fear that woman?"

When Millar said that, the ex-Warden felt stupid. "I... You're right. Thank goodness I have a good friend like you."

Somehow, the Grey Warden avoided her eyes. "I not deserve your trust. All right, you might hate me for this, but Alistair would tell you anyway." Sighed, Millar closed her eyes and said. "After the first assault, I drove Alistair out of the keep before he had any chance to see you. I didn't even tell him about you."

"Why?" Shocked, Issara couldn't say much as her throat dried with anger.

"It's because I thought it's my chance. You didn't remember him. Perhaps I have a chance to replace his position. But I see I was wrong... He is always in your heart." The brave Warden sat with her arms around her knees, slowly rocked herself like a hurt child. She didn't cry, but nearly to break down. "I'm sorry, Issara. Because of me, you lose the chance to reunion with your love. I'm so selfish."

Eventually, Issara realized Millar's feeling toward her. Too bad, her heart already belonged to Alistair, and it would never have changed. Anyway, she found that she couldn't angry at the poor elf. So she just sat down near the Grey Warden "It's no good crying over spilled milk. I can't say I don't angry. Just don't do it again and no one get hurt."

"You forgive me?"

That smile still shone on her face. The ex-Warden clapped her friend's back firmly. "Let's say I understand you. Well, I hurt that you betrayed my trust. But after everything we had been through, I think I ought to give you second chance."

Millar bit her lip, trying to restrain her tear. She felt so dirty when she saw how good person her friend had been. "You would make a good queen, Issara. In the time like this, Ferelden and her people need you."

"I never want to be queen, Millar. It will be a very big and very hard duty. Besides, Ferelden already have the queen."

"I asked you once; why you made Alistair king? Can you remember your answer?"

Issara paused. Her memories came back a lot, and she remembered every word she said before the landsmeet.

"Yes, I remember. He is a better candidate, and Anora would never let him be if she still was a queen... Think about it. I might have no choice in the matter. Lillian's wrath would be worse than Anora. She would never believe that I have no intention in stealing her title or Ali." Sighed, the ex-Warden closed her eyes to concentrate.

"It's always the same story, right? I can't hide forever. Perhaps I should strike first."

"That woman is a queen. Even though you have the king by your side, you still need more help. Alas, the Grey Warden is..."

"No, Millar, You don't have to help me. This is the business between me and Lillian. No need for the troop or Landsmeet," Issara refused. No one should know their secret. It would only bring the chaos to Thedas if people know about Andrasete's evil avatars. "We're... complicated. Our meeting should be private."

"I wonder if she would allow you to walk into the castle freely. Although I met her just one time, I knew she is nothing but snake. Perhaps even worse than Loghain or Rendon Howe," The Grey Warden commander warned.

"That is something I have to find out. Whatever, it must be after the breakfast. I better go to the kitchen before your men wake up, or they would wolf everything down." She stood and offered her hand to help Millar stand.

The elf smiled sadly. Again, Issara proved herself to be very good friend despite the circumstance. From now, Millar swore to do anything to repay this trust. When she grabbed that hand, it felt like unspoken promise.

...

When Issara came back to Alice's room, she didn't found her foster daughter or the hound. Panicked, she ran to Alistair's room without any thinking. What if Lillian had known about her and decided to throw the wrath on people she loved... She didn't dare to think about it.

However, all her fear had gone as she opened the bedchamber's door. Alistair was sitting on the couch, and on his lap was Alice who listening to his tales. Marigold was crouching near his feet.

"Mama," The little girl called when she stepped into the room. "Papa is telling me your story."

Raven eyebrows arched. Alice never called anyone like that after terrible event. How could Alistair manage to get that title? Anyhow, this wasn't the time.

"Why are you here, sweetheart? Do you know how worry mama was when mama couldn't find you in the room?"

"It's my fault." Alistair protested. "I heard she cry, so I brought her here."

Sighed, she knew she couldn't mad at them. "It's alright, love. I just concerned. Well, you two must be hungry. I take you breakfast but I forgot it in another room. Wait here, I'll be right back."

"No-no, milady." The knight stood up just to pull her to the couch. "You wait here. I'll fetch it."

The inventor just smiled. "How dear of you. Thank you so much."

Couldn't resist, he kissed her dimples and Alice's cheeks. The girls giggled as he re-opened the door just to say. "I won't be long. Don't go anywhere."

Anyhow, Issara knew he didn't kidding. For Alistair, they're his family; only thing he craved for his entire life. She cradled little girl and realized that Alice also needed family and home. Perhaps this was why they get along so easily.

There's no real good or bad. Everything was able to change when the time come. The inventor accepted it and made her decision.

She would go to Denerim to confront Lillian. However, that must be after that woman delivered her son.

The door opened not so gently. Issara woke up from her day-dreaming to face the visitor. To her surprise, that one was Cauthrien; captain of the King's guard. She was armed and armored.

Something seemed odd. Marigold jumped to her feet and growled at the warrior. Knowing that sigh, the Ex-Warden pushed her foster daughter behind her in protection.

"What do you want, Cauthrien?" Issara tried to diplomatic. Neither arm nor armor, violent would be her last choice.

Those eyes seemed lifeless as the captain unsheathed her great-sword. The dog charged at the sight before her mistress ever command. Alas, her fangs couldn't hurt the foe in massive armor. Cauthrien just stagger and kicked the hound away.

No one could hurt her follower. Issara who was absolute angry splashed the water in bucket on the captain. When another woman was confusing, she cast the spell to change the water to freezing ice. Cauthrien was trapped like a bug in ice cube.

Just a few seconds, she heard something break from farther corridor. Alistair who was holding his shoulder ran to the room, panicking.

"Someone locked me in your room. I had to break the door to escape... Andrasete's flaming sword, what happen here?"

"I'm not sure, but your captain must know something." Checked on her dog till she was sure it would be alright, Issara then turned to the frozen warrior to scan her memories.

The Ex-Templar was staring at his wife. The picture of her using her power always seemed creepy. He understood completely why she didn't like it.

Anyhow, she frowned in furious and worry. The Mage-warrior didn't say anything though she melted the ice off Cauthrien.

The captain fell to her knees, choking for air. She tried to reach her sword but Alistair knocked her out with a jar nearby. He had learned how to use the furniture as weapon from his wife.

"What did you learn from her?" The knight asked.

Issara sighed. She really didn't want to say it. "Just like the old word; the fire burns itself."

She was serious, but the blinking Templar made her explain more. "It was very old proverb, and it means; the bad people would be destroy by they own wickedness. Lillian used her blood magic to control your captain. Poor Cauthrien would kill every woman who sleeps with you... And she just sent the message about me to her queen. Even though I don't want to fight that woman, she gave me no choice."

"I feel bad to say this, but does it mean you are going to kill Lillian and...?"

She hated to say it in front of her foster daughter. Too bad, she had no choice. "You'd known me, love. I always look for the peaceful solution. The bad thing is; Lillian brought it to herself. Anyhow, I ask you nothing but to take care of Alice if I..."

"You can't do this alone, Ice."

She knew he love her, but this was her responsibility and no one could engage. "I killed the abomination, dark-spawn and the arch-demon. I think I could handle a blood Mage. Don't be worry."

"Yes, your profile is impressive, but the blood Mage with politics power is another thing. Lillian would never let you walk to her door without resistant. By the Maker, and she have the entire troop of Ferelden's soldiers in her command! You need my help, Ice." The king protested.

"No, you shall not involve in this. Call me crazy but I won't let you help me kill Lillian. It's bad enough that I intend to murder someone to take everything she has. If you help me, I'll feel worse."

They stared into each other's eyes. At last, Alistair gave up.

"Morality's matter, isn't it? You're too damn good, Ice! All right, I won't poke my nose into your business unless something terrible happen."

"Your concern is touching, love. This is why I love you." She soothed him. "However, you can escort me to Denerim. I'll find farther way myself."

Alistair didn't agree with her. Alas he had no other plan. "I'll go to Denerim with you."

Issara kissed her husband and daughter. Even though she couldn't see the future, she knew her story was still far from over and death.


	52. Away from me

**Away from me**

* * *

'Be aware of what you do, be awaken wherever you are.'

* * *

Denerim seemed so different even from the far distance. From her spy glass, the city seemed lifeless and terrible grim. Something wasn't right.

Cauthrien who now got her consciousness back after Ander removed the curse on her came back from scouting. The warrior seemed upset.

"The guards at the city gate and on the wall look strange. I stared at them for awhile but they didn't move or ever blink. It's like they'd been cursed to stone or something. And there's no any sight of people in the city either."

The king looked at Issara, asking for opinion.

"I think I'll go to the city alone." She said. "Denerim is no longer human's city. I can feel Lillian's power control them."

"Wait a minute..." The captain gasped. "Did you say the queen is a mage? I have no idea."

In the day Issara in Lillian's body beat her shitless at the Arl of Denerim estate, the Warden didn't use magic so the warrior didn't know that woman was a Mage. Perhaps that's why she fell to Lillian's spell without resistant.

"A blood Mage and an apostate... I should stop her when I have the chance. What have she done to my city, my people?" The king growled. "I'm sorry, Issara. But this isn't your personal affair anymore. No matter what Lillian is trying to do, I must stop her."

Issara understood his feeling, so she didn't argue. "Alright, you can help, but we can't just walt through that gate. We still need some plan."

...

The castle wasn't only the place for monarch to live, but also was the safest place for them in between the time of the war. It was the fort that protects people from enemy outside. Anyway, because everyone fears of death, it must have 'emergency exit', in case the fort brake down. On the contrary, people from outside could use it to sneak into the fortress as well.

And this was the easiest way to reach Lillian.

Of course, the secret exit must be secret. Only the king and people he trusts knew about it. Thus it was the good thing that Issara had Alistair on her side.

A sewer that led to royal castle was hidden among the others. Cauthrien led the group from the gate near riverside to dark tunnel that connected the castle basement to outside. So far, they didn't meet anything even rat. For Issara, this doesn't sound normally.

Through the dark tunnel, captain of the royal guard found wooden door. She and other guards were looking for the switch or something that would open the door.

There's a hash sound of click and the round trapdoor swung open. Immediately, strange wind gushed through opening gap, caused Issara to shield her eyes automatically. She heard her followers swore before everything went quiet.

When she opened her eyes, Issara surprised to see her husband and company was standing still like human statue.

"Ali... What happen to you?" No matter how hard she tried to shake or yell, he didn't respond. Alistair's eyes reflected nothing.

This is not normal. Issara thought. What should I do now?

Looked around, she found herself among wine cellars. The secret exit was hid among wine tank. The room was cold and rather dark. She could see a ghost was looking at her.

"Who're you? I think I saw you somewhere."

"I once was a Mage name Amell. I died by the templar's wrath because I help my friend; Jowan escape the tower. Milady, you saved my friend and family. Now is my turn to repay you." The ghost answered then waved her hands. Issara sensed the Veil was moving, and then the glowing trail appeared toward the door. "I can do nothing for your men. All I can do is open the way for you."

"But... Can you tell me what happen to them and this place? I never had heard about this kind of magic."

The colorless face seemed sad. "I'm not sure. The Veil around here is thin after the last battle. In this kind of place, some Mage could be more powerful perhaps the White Witch will be able to use her power to disturb the dimension and time."

Right, Lillian brought Issara from her world. She must able to change the normal dimension.

"But why she did this?" The ex-warden wondered. Lillian wanted power, so she shouldn't destroy her city. What's good about the castle that full with unmoving people?

"I know not about her intention. Since that demon was born two days ago, the White Witch brought him to the throne room and never left. No any ghost is able to go near that place, so I don't know what really happen."

"Demon..." Issara's brain processed quickly. "Lillian had a son and he is demon?"

"He was born from blood magic. What's kind of soul would respond to the ritual?" Amell's ghost questioned.

It's not the good thing, but made sense. The ex-warden griped the iron rose's hilt tighter. The fighting was in order, it seemed. "Thank you very much, Amell. It seem only way to freed these people is kill that witch. Better end it quickly. I'm on my way now."

"Hurry but be weary, among many people who's trapped within the castle there're the Fade creatures wondering and feeding from their poor souls." The ghost warned.

Concerned about Alistair's safety, but she had no choice. Perhaps she should end this as soon as possible. Issara nodded and then followed the glowing trail.

Along the way, she saw the human, elves and dwarfs were freezing in many positions. They were crying or yelling something. Every eye was looking toward her destination. There's must be something happened before they have been cursed.

Similar feeling flashed through her mind. Issara rolled on the floor just in time to avoid fire ball that blasted toward her.

The rage demon... She realized quickly. Three moving flames, four dust wraths and two abominations were hurling to her. Even though she armed and armored, they're too many. The ex-warden didn't sure if she should run or fight.

"Run, I'll handle them for you."

The shaman's granddaughter looked up and saw a young girl. Well, she was a ghost, the same one who once bagged Issara to spare Zavern. Behind her, there're familiar faces of dead allies. Duncan, Cailan and even the lady of the forest was here to help.

"Your kindness must be repaid. Go and solve your problem. Don't worry about these creatures." The spirit said.

Issara saluted them with all respect before ran to the throne room. There's a fade demon in her way but it had no chance against the iron rose. Cut through the demon, the warrior kicked the heavy gate open.

The red carpet was leading to the loan throne across the hall. Among golden light of evening sun, the redhead was sitting on the throne, still was wearing white dress.

Breathing hard, Issara walked toward her enemy without word. She couldn't see Lillian's face that was hid beneath the veil or the thing that was beneath the white sheet the queen carried. Anyway, she never led her hands off her blades.

"I'm waiting for you." Out of the blue, Lillian suddenly spoke but still was looking at the small thing in her embrace.

Unexpected word made Issara pause. "What?"

"I shouldn't underestimate you. I choose you over the others because of your wit and strength, so I should know you won't give up that easily. All I wonder is; how could you come back?" The Witch answered with question.

"Alistair is my home." Issara smirked.

So, when Lillian sent the ex-warden to her home did mean she had sent to Alistair's arms. Issara could feel the queen stiffened in anger.

"You're the pain in my ass, Issara. I shouldn't bring you here in the first place."

Lillian's voice sounded threatening, but another woman just shrugged. "If you didn't bring me here, you'll be already dead."

Sadly true, the queen didn't argue. "You came here to kill me, then?"

To her surprise, the raven hair sighed. "I not yet make up my mind. You know, I almost let you have Ali and everything if you didn't send your pet to kill me. I don't like you, of course, but I also don't want to have enemy."

Unable to read her true emotion, Lillian stood up gracefully like the queen she was. However, Issara felt something wasn't right.

"But you have to... After I received that letter, I was waiting you to come to me. We both were mistaken; your quest isn't yet finished." In front of the queen, between two women, familiar summoning ring appeared. Issara had no time to fear as the creature was growling the fire breath.

Those wings, claws, fangs and all of that body... She could recognize it anywhere. This was the arch-demon!

"How could-" Speechless, the ex-warden felt her legs turned to jelly. Fight with the tainted dragon face to face doesn't the good thing to do.

"I never had thought he would reborn in my womb." Lillian said as if it was normally thing to have the old god as your son. Her voice was emotionless and rather creepy. "If he grows up, he will be the greatest magister the world ever had. So powerful, and so... He would have the world under his wimp."

Wait... This sounded mad. Why did she say that? Issara confused.

"But he still is a baby. In this form, he is helpless. This is your only chance to save the world. If you can pass that dragon, of course." Still, the white witch said emotionless.

Lillian never play straight. Just like that old hag, she never spoke anything that easy to understand. This is not ordinary fight. Use your head, not muscle. The ex-warden warned herself.

The dragon began to move around the human. Issara retreated to another side of the hall as her eyes never left it.

Somehow, she looked down to its feet and saw something that didn't there. All riddles had been solved.

"Fuck you, Lillian." She growled. The iron rose was glowing blue and then white.

The silver light flashed through the dark shadow. In a second, the sharpen blade thrust deep into the white sheet and everything beneath.

"It's an illusion." Issara swore under her breath. "You forced me to kill your son!"

"I won't do this if I can kill him myself." From beneath the veil, the warrior could see the outline of curve lips. "I tried to miscarry him but that just caused him to born sooner. I seal the castle and city to save Ferelden... But I did mistake again, it seems."

The hands those held the blade shook. Face to face, Issara could sense her rival's emotion intently. Those stories she had learned from the hateful dairy caused the sympathetic tear.

"I never do anything good..." The white veil was falling on the floor that was flooding with red liquid. "I tried to make it right, but I never succeed. What do I lack? Why did you always succeed in anything I'm unable to?"

"You never had faith in yourself." Issara let go of her blade. The iron rose was stuck in Lillian's ribcage. "And you didn't try hard enough."

"Perhaps..." Lifelessly, the witch fell back to the throne. "I watched you time to time, in yours and in this world. Truly, I never understand your decisions. However, I always wish I could have your attitude."

Not louder than whisper, Lillian Cousland spoke the last word.

"I wish we could be friends."

* * *

In my opinion; no one was born to be the villain. Lillian became what she was because of the world made her. Well, Issara was growing up in similar way. However, the different is; Issara had understanding family who support her in any way, while Lillian had no one. Even though she was no perfect, Issara had faith in herself to fight for her duty, to save herself and people she cares. Unfortunate for Lillian, she had family, title and anything, but she never had faith. Her story could be changed without killing or lying if only she would try to prove that her gift was real, to change her parent's opinion about Arl Howe. Just like Issara said, Lillian didn't try hard enough.

Anyway, this story is nearly finished. Thank to my dear readers for all alert and favorite. If I could find more inspiration, I might write Dragon age II fanfic. Honestly, I already designed my f-Hawke, but everything could change when my real life still not yet stable.


	53. Final distant

**Final distant**

* * *

Life is hard, dead is easier.

Hot flame and cold wind were dancing together. The heat was eating firewood and everything inside. Golden light coat on honey skin woman who was standing nearby.

Issara was wearing black suit, paid the last respect to the woman that she couldn't hate. Beside her, Alistair stood in silent. Most of the faces in funeral were familiar. Fergus came from Highever to send his sister to the Maker's embrace, though they didn't get along. Anyway, Issara couldn't talk to him yet. She felt guilty for killed Lillian.

Millar came from Amaranthine just for the King and Issara's sake. Lynx, Lanaya, Wynne and Leliana paid the last respect to the Queen because it was the good thing to do. Rabbit wasn't allowed to the funeral because he was too excited after had met Marigold. It seemed the brave hound just fell in love with hot-head bitch.

The king's hand brushed hers. He wanted to take her hand but Eamon didn't allow it. The old man glad she comeback but he still concerned about the politics. Today was the queen and her son's funeral; it would be scandal if the King already shows the affection toward another woman. Beside, Issara wasn't the noble or hero of Ferelden anymore. It wasn't easy for them to be together.

Small hand held her left hand tight. The woman smiled and looked down to her adopt daughter. She asked Millar to take care of Alice when she was away, so the girl followed the Grey Warden commander when she came for the funeral. Even though Alice known nothing about the dead woman, she knew how sad her mama was.

Sighed, Issara knew she still had a lot of troubles was waiting for her. Lillian didn't just die. Her dead left the warrior unfinished business.

Just a second after Lillian's last breath had been gone, the magic had disappeared and everything back to normal. People ran to the throne room to see blood-soaking queen on the throne. Issara turned to a sparrow and hid in the shadow just in time.

Alas, thing never be easy.

They watched the pyre perished in the dusk. Alistair waited until him sure no one would hear them before ask. "Are you all right?"

No, she wasn't alright. But she couldn't tell him or anyone. "I just not feel well."

"You ought to rest, perhaps." Smiled warmly, but his eyes were gleaming with unshed tear. No matter how he felt about Lillian, she was his friend.

Understanding, she just nodded and then left. Issara and Alice walked away from the funeral but someone called the arcane warrior's name.

Teyrn Cousland walked to them. Issara knew what he wanted to say so she told the girl to find the Grey Warden commander. Although those eyes weren't the same, she still looked at him with same amount of honest.

When Fergus arrived, he had a word with the king, thus he had learned about 'non-public' version of his sister's death. The teyrn also saw the true face of his brethren for the first time. Too bad, it wasn't the good reunion.

The truth that Issara killed Lillian wasn't pleasant, by all mean.

They stood in awkward silent, neither of them eager to form any word. By the way, the arcane warrior spoke first.

"I'm sorry, Fergus. I swear I never want to do that, but I had no choice."

The teyrn didn't surprise to hear that. He knew his soul sister was a good girl. "I knew, Issara. I'd never angry at you. For all she has done... I hate to say this but she got what she deserves."

Those hazelnut brown eyes stared him in disbelief.

"Lillian told me about...everything. I apologize for all of her cruel plan."

Issara smiled sadly. "No need to apologize. It isn't your fault. Besides, I already forgive Lillian."

The hardest and greatest merit is forgiveness. It's not easy, but Issara didn't want to hold the grudge. As Andrasete's avatar, Lillian's power had passed to another avatar after she died. Long time ago at Highever, she killed the other avatars and stole their power. All of those now belonged to Issara as well.

Alas, more power came with more responsibility. Despite the politics, she couldn't settle herself with Alistair now. Another journey had waited. She must talk to her love some other time.

Fergus broke her chain of thought. "What would you do now? I hope you will marry Alistair. You will make the good queen."

"Not now or soon," She refused. "It's not good for any of us if the King remarry when the old Queen's ashes hadn't yet cold."

"You're right." The teyrn agreed.

"By the way, I'm not sure if Eamon would approve our wedding. I'm not the noble. Despite what I had done, no one knows I'm the woman who killed the arch-demon."

Chuckled, the man gave her gentle pat on her shoulder. "Don't give up yet, sister. You reunited the land, recruited the army from many races to save the world. The politics couldn't bring you down, I believe."

"You're too kind, brother. But how about you? You're the last Cousland now."

There's a hint of red on his cheeks. "It might too soon to move forward, but I think I found someone. I'm not young anymore, Issara. Although I still long for my son and wife, the Couslands need the heir."

"I understand." Issara reassured him. "And no one would ever blame you for moving forward. Just don't forget to send me the wedding invitation."

"I rebuild most of our home. It needs years to undo all the damage that Howe has caused, but it would be great if you comeback." Fergus invited. "We're family. I knew father and mother proud of you."

Her cheeks was wetting with tear. Issara smiled as the teyrn held her like a sister that bound by blood.

...

After sent Alice to bed, Issara prepared to get some rest in the guest room of royal palace. Regardless the chancellor's protest, she still didn't dare to be with new widower.

She was in nightgown when the door opened. Alistair walked into the room without asking for permission. Issara didn't like this but she didn't refuse his embrace as she saw his frown.

"What happen, love?"

Exhausted, the knight dumped himself to the bed and dragged his lover along. His hand was playing with her raven silky hair as he deep in thought. "Eamon said I must marry the noble."

She didn't surprise to hear it, but surprised that she didn't angry. "I understand. I and Alice would go to Highever with Fergus. You can marry any woman you choose."

Desperately, Alistair kissed her until she melted against his chest. "I'll marry you."

"But..." No more word as he devoured them from her mouth. She couldn't protest as thin fabric slide off her skin.

"I spoke with Fergus. He agreed to pronoun you as his sister." Wicked tongue licked her earlobe caused her to shiver head to toe. "Now, you're Issara Cousland; Lillian's long lost twin."

"Twin... Are you serious? I have nothing similar with that woman. Would the noble not notice our different?"

"Maybe or maybe not. But they would pretend to be bind if the King and teyrn say so." His kiss trailed downward to Twin Mountains, caused the owner to gasp in delight. "You had gone through so much for all of us. From now on, let me fight of you and our future."

How could she find any word to protest as he was kissing and tasting her? "You're...cruel. I would never...refuse you in...This...ah! This... Yes, Oh my goodness! I..."

Smug, Alistair stopped his administration just before his lover come to her peak. Ignored her cry of disappointment, he rolled her over, set her on four.

No matter how fiercely she was in the battle, Issara was a good submissive girl in bed. She obeyed every of his wimps and respond with mutual eagerness.

"You're so wet, minx. I don't understand why you tried to ignore me these days." The large hand whipped on firm bum caused a shriek of surprise from her mouth. She had to bury her face into the pillow to keep her voice down as his big finger invaded her sacred flower.

Thrusting in and out, soon the second finger joined the first. Another hand played with erect ruby nipple as he kissed and nipped along her tattoos. Issara cried his name like mantra.

Again, he refused to give her what she wanted. Alistair stopped all attentions and left her to dizzy with maddening lust. Her hazelnut brown eyes were dark with desire at she glared him was taking the cloth off.

She licked her lips hungrily as her eyes were leering over his sculpture body. His sword was so big and so alluring. She gave up her pride and licked all over his toxically part as if it was magical food.

"Yes, good girl," Alistair hissed with pleasure. His fingers combed in her hair, guided her rhythm.

Nipped and sucked, she could think about nothing but to make him spend under her administration. She gasped in protest as he rudely pulled her to his fiercely kiss.

"Fuck me, Ali." She groaned.

"I love it when you talk dirty." With one swift movement, he lifted her up just to toss her to the large bed.

Hovered her small frame, He guided himself with one hand to teased her folds. At last, he sheathed himself to the hilt, caused her to scream his name in pain and pleasure. Alistair bit her shoulder hard as she scratched his muscular rear.

This wasn't first time they rut like the animal. In fact, this always happened if they had some time alone after the fighting. They made love to heal each other heart and soul, to share the unspoken pain.

Alistair would never admit it, but he felt sorry for his son even the boy was the abomination. Every powerful thrust caused by his primal hurt, drove by the desire to give this woman his seed.

"Faster, harder..." She screamed. "I love you, Ali."

Her cry ignited his vigor more and more. He bit the junction between her neck and shoulder as he sped up, drove her toward blissful orgasm.

Losing her mind, Issara screamed his name over and over. Her back was arching to summit all of him. The tight wall was milking his sword until he emptied all he had inside her womb.

Spent, the ex-Templar rolled them over to avoid crushing his lover beneath his larger frame. She rested upon his chest, listened to his heartbeat.

They stayed like that for some time. Neither of them wanted to break peaceful silent.

It had been awhile before Issara said sleepily. "When is the last time you fight the dark-spawn?"

Unexpected, he needed sometime to process. "Hm, it must be the day you...arch-demon died. Why did you ask?"

"Well, I have good and bad news. Which one you want to hear first?"

"You're with child?"

"Sorry to disappoint you. No, it can't happen that soon. Anyhow, I take that you want to hear the good news first, even I can't say it is good news or not." She played with his light blond chest hair, knowing that she would miss it. "When Lillian...made the ritual with you. She did something that caused the taint in you disappear."

"What?" He was totally awake. "Do you mean...?"

"Yes, you're Grey Warden no longer. Had you ever notice your appetite?"

"Um, no... Perhaps I'd always eat like pig, tainted or no." Alistair admitted. "I can't say I'm happy to hear that. I love to be a Grey Warden but... Well, when I'm the King, I can't be one of them. Besides, I'll have more time to be with you and more chance to have children. This is the greatest news I ever heard in years. Anyhow, what's about the bad news? I have the feeling it would be real bad."

Sighed, Issara hated to say it. "I'm going to leave Ferelden."

He thought he was shocked when he heard the first news, but this was more than that. Alistair's brain stopped working for awhile. Automatically, he jumped up to sit on the edge of the bed.

Gathered the blanket to cover her nude form, Issara sat beside him. "The greatest treasure of the country wasn't gold or diamond, but it was her people. There're many good people left Ferelden because of the Blight. When it had ended, I want to bring them back."

"Anyone could do that, love. You don't have to..." Still didn't look at his lover, the King tried to protest.

"Yes, I knew you can send the ship to take them back. But to what end? They couldn't comeback to live in tainted land. I have to find the way to clean them."

"I'll order the mages to do the research. You can do any test you want, just don't leave me."

She knew how he felt, but she had to do it. "There's something else I must do, love. My duty is waiting for me on another side of the sea. I swear I'll come back within year."

Looking through those eyes, Alistair knew he would never win. "All right, you won. But if you don't comeback within a year, I'll sail across the sea to bring you back, no matter you like it or not. Are we understood?"

"Yes, sir." She gave him playful salute. "True be told, I don't know if I would able to leave you that long. A year without you and your love would be terrific. I might change my mind and come back any time."

"Let's make sure you will never forget me." He murmured in her ear. His hands slipped her cover off.


	54. The new beginning

**At the new beginning**

* * *

There're many letters on her desk and Surya Hawke was too tired to read any of them. However, the rose emblem on the red seal changed her mind.

Forgot everything else, the warrior happily opened an envelope. Inside, she found handmade paper. The writer of this letter knew how to make special paper from unwanted plant.

Surya couldn't stop smiling as she read familiar handwriting. Her friend wrote about her life in Ferelden and how the country was developed under the King and Queen's care. With the magic her friend found in the grass, the land that has been tainted in between the Blight was revived. They expected the first harvest within this year. If everything goes well, more ships would go to Kirkwall to bring the refugees back to their home.

Enclosed with the letter was a drawing of a man and his children were sleeping. The note behind the picture said her husband and the twin worn her out. By the way, she hoped Surya would meet them someday.

Surya kissed the signature in the letter. She had missed that woman. It was a year they met and shared many things in life. That strange woman wasn't only a friend, but also a mentor, a big sister or even mother.

"Whose letter is that?" The familiar brogue broke her chain of thought. Possessive hand gripped on her hip as another snatched the paper from her hands.

Rolled her eyes, Hawke said naught but rested her face on that broad chest. Her smile grew wider as the brunet read the last line.

"_I knew you would read this, Sebastian Veal. Had you ever stop being jealous? My little bird would never have her eyes on anyone else and you knew that."_

"That woman..." The prince hissed. He liked her, but somehow couldn't trust her. The woman who called herself Oracle was too much mysterious.

Most of Kirkwall knew that woman in that name. Only a few people knew the true name behind the rose emblem that also was on the blade name: the Iron rose. Surya just smiled and hid a picture inside her pocket.

At the lower left corner of the drawing, there's a signature: Issara Therin.

* * *

Finished, for now,

* * *

And there, you had it. The story comes to an end at last. I think I'm going to lay back and draw something. However, I like to thank my readers or anyone who cares to read this line. I hope you all have beautiful days.

Sincerely, Mitimai.


End file.
